Time To Change
by ViciousVixen178
Summary: [Sequel to the story 'Broken']. Harry and Severus now have to live with the consequences of their relationship. After a huge sacrifice on Harry's part, are they able to work things out between themselves and the law to be with each other again or has Harry's new friends pushed him down a dark path? [Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, sex, abuse, a pinch of Dark!Harry, and slash].
1. Chapter 1

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 **HEY READERS!**

 **THIS IS THE SECOND PART OF A TWO PART STORY [IN OTHER WORDS, A SEQUEL]**

 **So, just to give you the usual warnings: Male on male, the usual when talking slash [mature themes and such mentioned]**

 **Now, just a side note:**

 **This is a sequel, now I hadn't intended on the story being so long so I haven't thought about flowing and the like so I suggest that you read "Broken" first to save any confusion and then that way you know Harry's back story.**

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 **FOR MY FOLLOWERS WHO HAVE READ "BROKEN":**

 **I have bowed down to demand and have brought forward the uploading of this story. I had hoped to get into some of my other unfinished ones but I couldn't stand the heat from you all any longer [no hard feelings though].**

 **I know that the 'Broken' story was quite light and yes of course the usual dramas occurred, however for this story I have decided to take on a darker side. Never fear though, this is a SNARRY for a reason and I hate unhappy endings :)**

 **ENJOY and as always REVIEW.**

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 **So you don't get confused:** _ **[…]**_ **That is going to be used for flashbacks from actions that have happened, not fictional dreams.**

* * *

Harry sat at the Burrow feeling numb; there was absolutely nothing that was going to cheer him up apart from going in and wiping the Headmasters memories of what he saw. Sighing he put his head in his hands contemplating what, if anything, could be done to make this right but as he did memories started flashing across his eyes.

 _["Headmaster I can explain – "_

" _I can't let this continue, Severus. Harry you're coming with me." Dumbledore's eyes were flashing a dangerous colour._

" _Please, sir it was me, I wanted this and Severus was only – "_

 _Harry was suddenly pulled forwards by some invisible force and he found Dumbledore's arm around his shoulders._

" _I cannot get you out of this one, Severus. I trust you will meet me back at Hogwarts in half an hour." Dumbledore said forcefully._

 _Harry looked from the Headmaster to Severus and could feel tears sliding down his cheeks._

" _Please, sir." Harry whispered before he felt the nauseating feeling of apparation.]_

Harry gasped and wiped the new tears that had started trickling down his face. He wanted to see his lover, wanted a hug and comfort like he had before. He had sent a message to the man before but he hadn't received a reply and the twisting feeling in his stomach was making him feel sick.

He had been in a state of shock when they arrived at the Burrow with Molly Weasley running out to greet them before whisking him inside. The Headmaster hadn't said anything just that he had urgent business to attend to back at Hogwarts, which seemed normal to everyone except for Harry. He just couldn't understand why the Headmaster had chosen to arrive at Severus's house at that exact moment. At least ten minutes later they would have been casually sitting on the couch with glamour spells enabling them to cover their flushed faces, but no this wasn't to be the case and now here he was, life once again turned upside down.

He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Ron. It was now late in the evening and whilst Harry had tried to keep a brave face he was now caving. Ron knew there was something wrong, a fool would have been ignorant to that fact but he just didn't know what to say. Did he come out and admit that he'd been romantically involved with his Professor for the whole year? He just wasn't sure but now Ron was asking him that dreaded question and they looked at each other awkwardly.

"I don't deserve a friend like you." Harry said instead of admitting anything that would land him in trouble.

"Honestly, mate I've never seen you this upset before. Just tell me what happened. Did Snape hurt you? Is that why you're here?"

"Not exactly, Ron." He sighed and went to looking out the window again.

"Okay, well… There's some dessert downstairs if you want some?" He tried and Harry turned to look at him.

He supposed it wouldn't hurt to try and act like everything was okay, he surely didn't need everyone getting on his case about his mood so he smiled a little before standing and following his friend downstairs.

Severus on the other hand was pacing his living room, the events of the day raging through his head and not being able to make sense of anything. He was furious at himself, not at Harry, just himself for being so tardy. He had owled the Headmaster the previous day informing him of the time and date of apparating the boy to the Burrow. If he had of known that the man had wanted to see him there would have been no way he would have allowed Harry to get under his skin and make him cave like he had.

He shouted in fury at the fireplace, his anger making his magic spark and dance wildly around the room as he berated himself for being so stupid. There would be no way he would regret what had happened between he and Harry, because what they had been through had been incredible and he wouldn't have traded it for anything but now his boy was hurting, once again, and this time it was he who was the cause of that pain. He had no one else to blame but himself. Picking up a book and hurling it across the room, it smacked into the wood making a cracking sound before his magic demolished a window behind him with the pressure of his magic.

He had to cool down, try and calm himself in case someone came to see him. He had spent the afternoon with the Headmaster in his office, the old man making him recall everything that had transpired between he and the Gryffindor. Just those memories alone, the positive ones of the two of them flared his anger again in retaliation of him being so pig headed stupid. That's why he had apologized to Harry when he had heard Dumbledore come through his floo, because he had put the boy in a precarious position and now they had been caught.

Against his better judgment a sob escaped his mouth and he crumbled to the floor, sitting on his knees and his head coming to rest on the dark wood. He had ruined everything, he had destroyed the boy's life and now he had crippled his own. He was done for sure and if word ever reached the papers he knew that Harry's would be as well.

As for the Headmaster, Dumbledore too was anxiously pacing his office in preparation of the Board members who were deliberating on the right course of action. Being the Headmaster of a school, be it a Muggle school or Magic one, they were bound to protect their students and what his Potion's Professor had done was a serious breach of that notion. He wasn't angry at Severus per say, but he was seriously disappointed in the man, he had broken more than a few school rules and staffing policies by getting into a relationship with a student.

He had taken the man's memories and had them lined up on his desk ready for the board members to take their turn at using his pensieve to view them. He was comforted to know that the man hadn't pushed Harry, although he would have been shocked to see that he had. The man had a good heart, yes he had a sour attitude towards the students he taught, but he was great at what he did. The best in fact and that's why he had hired the man back in the beginning.

Dumbledore sighed as he continued to pace his study, the board members were going to arrive any minute and he had to compose himself. They wouldn't be merciful towards him if he were a scattered mess; no he had to be calm and professional about this. Severus was under his control and he was responsible for what his staff and students did meaning that what the two of them had committed was under no circumstances a light or amusing issue. It was serious.

The old man held his breath as there was a knock at the door before several men stepped inside looking rather put out at having to arrive in the holidays. They too had lives and all of them had children either at Hogwarts or other Magical institutions around the country.

"Good evening, gentlemen." Dumbledore said politely before ushering them further in.

"Dumbledore." One of them nodded in recognition before they stood before his desk.

The Headmaster went to stand behind his desk and put his hand on the edge as he leaned down on it, not really sure how to start the proceedings off but he could definitely feel their gazes on he vials he had lined up between them.

"We have a little bit of an issue…" Dumbledore started before eyeing them up and telling them the story.

* * *

It was the next day in the afternoon when Harry had surfaced from bed. He hadn't had a wink of sleep and was feeling extremely groggy, couple that with the fact that he hadn't heard from Severus was even worse. Molly was fussing about the kitchen muttering about getting lunch ready but Harry wasn't really listening, not even when Hermione came roaring through the fireplace with the floo network and came bounding up to both he and Ron.

"Honestly, Harry you're just as bad as Ron. Come here." She said pulling him into a hug.

He hesitantly reciprocated before she pulled back and took a proper look at his face. His gut started to fill with dread again as he saw the happiness in her eyes turn to fright and she pulled both he and Ron outside, away from prying ears.

"What's happened?" She questioned looking between Ron and Harry.

Harry stood there, staring right through Hermione not wanting to pretend anymore. He was upset, horrified and felt uneasy. The tightening in his stomach getting worse and it wasn't a pleasant feeling like he had had when in the presence of Severus. Images started flashing across his eyes again, times when he and Severus were in each others embrace, the first time they had sex, when they shared the bath… This tipped him over the edge and he fell to the ground, the sound of sobbing coming from him and he let the tears fall.

"Harry you have to tell us what happened. I've never seen you this upset." Hermione said as they both crouched to where Harry was kneeling.

He looked up, looked into Hermione's eyes, then Ron's and then back to Hermione. He figured they were going to find out eventually, especially if Severus was going to get fired so he took a deep breath and came out with it.

"I've been sleeping with Professor Snape. We got caught." He watched at both his friends faces morphed from joint concern into horror then to sadness.

At the same time as this was happening, Severus was being summoned to Hogwarts with a member of the board escorting him onto the property. Considering the nature of the situation he would be accompanied everywhere he went within the castle regardless of the fact that there were no students currently residing there. It was humiliating but he fully expected it, not that he wouldn't try and change the course of the past twenty hours if he could.

They came to the Headmaster's office, once inside Severus saw the Head of the board and Dumbledore standing in front of the man's desk looking rather solemn. His heart hammered heavy in his chest and he swallowed as he tried to keep his composure, unsure of what was going to transpire and his immediate thoughts were what was going to happen with Harry.

"Good afternoon, Professor Snape." The Head of the board walked forward and shook his hand before offering him a seat in front of the Headmasters desk.

He sat down, as did the Head of the board whilst Dumbledore remained standing with his hands resting on the edge of the desk behind him. Severus sat up straight and squared his shoulders as he eyed Dumbledore looking for any kind of indication of how this was going to play out. He was nervous, Severus Snape did not get nervous however in this instance he was and as much as he tried to stop himself he found his hands wringing anxiously in his lap. He looked over to the board member when he cleared his throat and braced himself.

Hermione, after her shock leaned forward and took Harry into her arms, this action made Harry collapse even further and as she rocked him back and fourth to comfort him, his sobbing got louder. Ron just sat there, he couldn't work out what was happening but he didn't make the move to leave the two of them there, he was literally frozen on the spot. Hermione was the first to speak and she pried herself away from Harry check him over, mainly his face that was stained with tears.

"I'm not going to get angry with you, Harry. I think we both know you've done wrong judging by your reaction. Please… tell us what is going on." Her voice was full of concern and was soft.

"I just… I don't know why he…" Harry had to stop as he started shaking with fresh tears running down his face, "Dumbledore walked in when…" He took a deep breath and looked at his two friends, "We were having s-sex." He finished, his face flaming with embarrassment and Ron's undignified squeak made it worse.

"He what?" She gasped and held onto Harry tighter, "Did he hurt you?" She choked out, thinking that maybe their Potion's Professor was using her friend.

"No, Hermione. _I_ was the one that wanted it, and _I_ got us into trouble." He sobbed and pulled away from her so he could address both of them.

"I'm sorry I lied to the both of you," At this he wiped his nose on his sleeve, "He's been there for me, h-he understands what's happened to me back at my relatives. He just gets me and no, before you ask he hasn't pushed me towards anything. He was the one that didn't want to do this in the first pla – It was _me_ that kissed _him_ _first_." He stressed out those words to reiterate his point because in his naïve mind he truly believed that it was his fault for all this.

"Shh, it's okay, Harry. Come on, let's go for a walk." She offered, aware that Ron's parents and family were just inside.

* * *

"Professor Snape, after much deliberation between my colleagues and I, we have decided that under the circumstances your position at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as Potions Professor is suspended until further notice. The seriousness of this situation means that you are not permitted to be in the presence of any school aged children without proper supervision until we have come to a conclusive decision."

Severus felt the blood in his face drain completely and for a second or two he could have sworn that his heart had stopped beating until he took a deep breath and it started hammering away in his chest.

"Hopefully we can come to some sort of agreement in the next few days of the school holidays so that we do not create an issue in staffing, however I cannot guarantee that this will happen." The board member continued and Severus could only nod numbly at what he was saying.

"Very well, thank you." Dumbledore intervened and after a few pleasantries ushered him out of his office before coming to sit in the now occupied seat, adjacent to where his Potion's Professor was sitting.

"I'm sorry, Severus. I tried." He offered but Severus just sat there as he processed what was going to happen.

"I will resign, Albus. There is no way I can stay here and let Hogwarts, let a lone _you_ get crushed when this gets out to the papers." He sighed and leaned forward so he could place his head in his hands.

"Severus I cannot accept your resignation. You are the best damn Potion's Master in the whole of Europe, I will not let you walk away from thi – "

"I broke the law," Severus interrupted, his voice raised as he stood from his chair and started pacing, "I seduced a student, I was stupid, I was – I was reckless and now look what has happened." He could feel his exterior cracking at this point and he knew that he needed to see Harry, to talk to him.

"Severus, please. Just calm down and we can sort something out."

"I need to go down to the Dungeons and start packing my things." Severus was now by the window looking out across the grounds. He was going to miss his home, miss Harry and everything that transpired between them.

"Not just yet. I will escort you home, Severus." The Headmaster offered and went over to pat Severus on the shoulder before they apparated back to Severus's house.

* * *

The day that they were going back to Hogwarts, Harry was coming down the stairs when he heard a familiar male voice floating from the kitchen and he ran through the lounge with wide eyes until he stood in front of the Headmaster. The man looked tired, but then again Harry knew he didn't exactly look any better considering he hadn't slept much over the past two nights.

"Ah, Harry my boy. I was just asking where you were. I wished to have a private moment with you back at Hogwarts, there you can meet your friends when the train arrives." He asked and Harry nodded.

"Of course, sir. Let me just get my trunk ready and I'll be down." He replied and with a backwards glance at Hermione and Ron who were at the bottom of the stairs before he turned and walked towards them.

They both followed Harry upstairs and walked into the room he and Ron shared as he packed. He wondered why he would need to go back to school early, he was sure it had something to do with Severus because the man had been very tight lipped when communicating through the bangles. He just kept saying that he was sorry, over and over, like it was all his fault and that was something Harry couldn't understand. It was Harry's fault, that's what he believed anyway.

"I wonder what he wants to discuss." Hermione said quietly and Harry stopped before turning and facing them.

"I, uh, I guess he wants to discuss guardianship of me, perhaps?" Harry offered and then after a beat he continued packing.

"Guardianship?" She asked and Harry nodded but didn't stop packing.

"I don't have any guardians since I'm not going back to my relatives. I guess I'd hoped to be staying with Severus, sorry, _Professor Snape_." He stressed before sighing and sitting on his bed.

"That's right, I'd forgotten. Oh, Harry everything will be fine okay? We're here for you." She comforted and Ron came in and clasped him on the back.

"Yeah, mate. It's… odd but yeah, we've got your back." Ron commented and Harry was happy that they both empathized with him.

"Thanks guys." And with that Harry stood and hugged his two best friends before he went back into the kitchen where the patiently waiting Headmaster was standing.

"Ready then, Harry?"

"Yes, sir."

"Oh, Harry you must come back and see us next holidays. The Headmaster tells us he's looking at somewhere for you to stay and we would be more than welcome to have you with us." Mrs. Weasley cooed and gave him a back breaking hug.

"That would be nice, thank you." Harry replied dispassionately before turning to his friends and hugging them goodbye.

"We'll see you later." Hermione whispered and then him go, watching as their Headmaster and their friend walked out the door.

When Harry was apparated to Hogwarts, he lurched forward as he always did but this time he was left to land on all fours seeing as Severus wasn't there to hold him back. He tried not to let tears surface when he remembered this and took a deep breath to reign in his emotions.

The walk to the Headmasters office, on Harry's part felt tense, but then again when he looked over at the older Wizard he had a stern look on his face and it made Harry wonder what he was going to say. Furthermore, where he was going to be living, he didn't know if he could live with his best friend, as nice as Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were they felt quite suffocating and were by no means Severus.

"Severus!" Harry cried when he walked through the door.

The man turned around and his face looked crushed, which made Harry run over to him and wrap his arms around his waist. He took a deep breath and smiled into the black robes when he recognized the smell, it was rather comforting. He pulled away though when he heard an uncomfortable cough from beside him and he looked over to Dumbledore who motioned for them both to take a seat. He felt foolish, he shouldn't have gone in like that but he had been so worried about Severus and to not have the man answer his messages was devastating.

"Harry, I brought you here because Severus has asked if he could speak with you. However under the circumstances I cannot allow the two of you to be left alone, is this alright?"

"Yes, sir." Harry's voice cracked and he looked over to Severus who was staring at his hands, he had never seen the man looking so upset and it gave him an odd feeling in his chest.

"Harry, I…" Severus stopped and then looked up towards Dumbledore before giving him what could only be describes as an imploring look.

Dumbledore sighed and then nodded, waving a hand towards Harry who was now frowning it was soon clear. Severus stood and then went to kneel in front of him, taking both hands in his own and kissing them briefly before speaking.

"None of this is your fault, do you understand? Harry, please tell me you understand."

Harry didn't say anything he just gripped onto Severus's hands tightly and had the fleeting idea that he could get away with giving the man a kiss on the lips. That then reminded him of the day he kissed Severus and he gained a worried look on his face.

"But it _is_ my fault, Severus," He said quietly, "It was _me_ that – "

" _No_ , Harry it wasn't. I could have stopped this if I wanted but I didn't, Harry, I didn't stop this because I fell in _love_ with you." Severus whispered and it made Harry want to cry, seeing his lover, or was it ex-lover, in such a state.

"Severus." Dumbledore warned from behind him and Harry heard the man sigh as he stood and went back to his chair.

"What's going to happen?" Harry asked suddenly and then realized why he must have been there and he rushed up, "No one can find out, please." Harry begged as he knelt on the floor in front of the Headmasters desk.

"Harry this is a very serious situation. I have reported this – "

"NO! Please stop. Severus will lose his job." Harry was working himself up.

"Harry, please calm down." Severus tried putting his hand on his slender shoulders and pulling him away back so he could sit on the man's knee.

"The two of you can't stay here together." The old Wizard looked tired.

"I'll go." Harry said standing in defiance after shaking Severus's hands off his shoulders.

"I got you into this – " Severus tried to say.

"No, I can't have you lose your job, Severus." Harry interrupted his lover, turning to face him.

"Harry, it's not quite as simply as that, Severus has been put under suspension until the board come to a conclusive decision. Severus's future is not yet certain and believe me we have no intention of letting the Ministry or Daily Prophet know of this if we can help it." Dumbledore explained as Severus pulled Harry back down onto his lap and wrapped an arm around the slender waist.

"But if I'm not here, then surely they will see that there is no longer an issue?" Harry asked and he saw Dumbledore stroke his chin.

"I will speak with them. Are you sure you wish to do this, Harry?" Dumbledore asked and Harry nodded his head vigorously.

"If it means, Severus will be able to stay here and teach then yes. Send me to Durmstrang."

* * *

 **Dun, dun, duuuuuun. Am I forgiven for the brutal cliffhanger in "Broken"?**

 **Again, as always, I value your feedback so let me know what you think of this first chapter.**


	2. Chapter 2

**.**

 **#navieblue:**

 **I don't want to ruin the story by giving you a spoiler, so you're just going to have to wait ;P**

 **#mithrilandtj:**

 **Oh yes, Durmstrang hehe.**

 **#Kiewee:**

 **Apologies for all the cliff hangers.. I just feel like they are the right places to stop. I will try and refrain but I cannot promise anything :)**

 **#Lycans-DollHouse:**

 **So you're saying I can crawl out of my pillow fort and you won't hurt me? Phew. I too am saddened that they will not be together... But where there is darkness, there is always light ;)**

 **#Maximum Hope Power:**

 **Oh thank goodness I'm forgiven, your wish is my command. Enjoy Ch2.**

 **#lydiaa.m796:**

 **I hope you're not too disappointed but I thought I would do something a little differently to the other stories I read with Snarry.**

 **#minewt-love:**

 **Gurl, did you even sleep? That's crazy.**

 **#Angel Rose Potter:**

 **I cannot say for risk of giving out a spoiler whether Harry and Severus continue to date, so I'm sorry for that. [Or am I sorry?] Hehe, hang in there.**

 **#MiniSchmidty:**

 **I appreciate your review probably most of all. Like you, I always seem to read stories where everyone is fine with them together, so this is going to be a little different. Enjoy. :)**

* * *

 **Thanks for all the feedback so far, it's only the first chapter :P**

 **Just a little warning that this next chapter is a massive time jump.**

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Harry woke with a start, his heart rate doubled, beads of sweat spread across his forehead and drenching his back and chest. It was always the same dream, the one where he said goodbye to Severus, the one he had grown to love, the one who he could always count on. Looking around the room, the others were still asleep but for a second he was disorientated forgetting that he wasn't in Gryffindor tower.

 _["The two of you can't stay here together."_

" _I'll go." Harry said standing defiantly.]_

Flashbacks like this were happening too often and Harry hated it, he was once again alone in this big world that was still so new and uncertain to him. He shook his head as he flopped onto his back and looked up at the disgusting stone ceiling, he was sure at some point it was going to cave in on them or start leaking water.

It had been a month since the Headmaster had walked in on him and Severus on the couch at the man's house. A month since he had left everything and everyone he knew just so the news wouldn't get out that a Professor was sleeping with a student. Whilst at the time Harry had been more than happy to leave Hogwarts, Durmstrang wasn't exactly the type of place that brought about neither a homely feel, nor the inhabitants and students that attended the Academy. He had no friends here, no ambivalent student that he could talk to or even call an associate. In all honesty this was worse that anything he could have ever imagined.

What had made his transition worse was when Malfoy had bumped into him in the corridor on his second day and Goyle was the next to spy him when they had class that morning. So far they hadn't approached him about anything but it was only a matter of time. They hadn't changed at all, the dirty coloured brown uniforms that they were made to wear for classes took some of the class and arrogance about them away making them look like everyone else in the school.

It was such a contrast to Hogwarts, the castle was dark, damp and cold. This wasn't just the classrooms or corridors, the dorms were like this as well and Harry wondered how in the last month he hadn't caught the a cold. The Dungeons at Hogwarts had always been cold and dank but at least when he was in Severus's quarters they were warm and comfortable. _Severus…_ Even the name of the man he loved made his heart constrict painfully and he felt tears welling in his eyes. He didn't want to be weak but he just wanted to be in the arms of his lover. No one would ever compare to how that man made him feel, the love and the care that Severus gave him was more than he could have ever asked for.

Harry turned his head to the clock sitting on his bedside table, it was just past five in the morning and they would be all waking soon to get ready for the school day. The school days here were long and harsh, even in the spring and summer months the castle was still cold, so to be waking up early and finishing late when the sun had sunk behind the tall mountain ranges was hard.

He sighed before making the decision to get up; there weren't many mornings where he didn't beat the rest of his dorm mates to the showers. He hardly slept since he arrived, his nightmares making sure he had at a maximum five hours sleep and he knew that this was effecting his health. One look in the mirror and he could tell his face had slimmed down considerably, his cheek bones being rather prominent and this was how he remembered looking when he was last at the Dursley's.

 _["Do not make me force feed you, Potter."]_

Severus's voice echoed through his head. Even though it had been such a long time ago now it was clear that the man, whilst first hesitant, did truly care about him. He had been thinking about these little things over the past month, torturing himself with happier memories and he knew he had to stop but with every miserable day that passed, the memories got more painful.

He had finished showering and was walking back to the dorm when the first signs of life were made apparent as students started waking for the day. He was the first up from his dorm and as he got ready silently he noticed a pair of grey eyes on him from across the room. He tried not to thing about it but it was making him uneasy. However, by the time he had finished dressing and picked his bag up, the bed from which the boy had been laying was no empty, the teen seemingly had left for a shower.

The Grand hall where they had meals and school assembly was vast, much like Hogwarts but with a gloomy feel to it. He made his way over to one of the corners of the room, there were smaller tables that were dotted around the hall unlike the four long tables he was used to but it made it easier for him to seclude himself away from the other students. Usually he ate in silence and alone however this day would prove to be different, especially when he spied his owl soaring through the hall towards him.

She brought a smile to his face and he stroked her head earning a happy trill from her as he did. He untied the letters that she had tied to her leg before she hopped towards him and huddled into his chest. He wasn't particularly hungry on this morning so he pushed his clean plate away so she could tuck herself into his chest and nuzzle him affectionately. As she did this he glanced down at the two letters he had received. One was from Hermione, he could tell with her tidy writing and the other one gave his heart a little jump start and it started beating harshly in his ribcage. It was from Severus.

Opening Hermione's letter first he was surprised she hadn't sent him a howler with an angry tone in her writing.

 _ **Harry,**_

 _ **Hi. How are you settling into Durmstrang? We haven't heard anything from you since you left and we were getting concerned that maybe something had happened. Life here isn't much different, although Professor Snape seems to be taking out his fury on anyone and everyone. Just the other day he had a go at Professor Dumbledore, although we aren't sure what it was about but it was in the Great Hall for everyone to witness. I'm sure Ron and I are the only ones who have noticed, of course, rumors are surfacing about why you left but we haven't heard anything mentioning both you and Professor Snape.**_

 _ **I hope everything is okay, Harry. We miss you. Please write back.**_

 _ **Hermione (and Ron)**_

He felt sick after reading this, he really did have good friends. Pushing aside what had happened earlier in the year with his two friends, they truly did care. He knew that he should have written to them but the pain and the awkwardness had stopped him. What was he supposed to say to them? ' _Durmstrang is horrible and I want to come home'_. No. He was going to just grin and bare it. For Severus. Although what they had said about the man was concerning, he thought his ex-Professor was smarter than that, putting his emotions on show for everyone to see.

He closed his eyes to picture happier times but immediately he was catapulted into another memory.

 _["No one can find out, please." Harry begged as he knelt on the floor in front of the Headmasters desk._

" _Harry this is a very serious situation. I must report this – "_

" _NO! Please don't. Severus will lose his job."_

" _Harry, please calm down." Severus tried putting his hand on his slender shoulders._

" _The two of you can't stay here together." The old Wizard looked tired._

" _I'll go." Harry said standing in defiance.]_

He took a deep breath in and shook his head to rid himself of the memories and when he looked up he noted that the hall had started to fill with most of the students for breakfast, no one was paying him any attention however and he was grateful given his current situation. He put Hermione's letter in his bag and then picked up Severus's letter. There was a pleasant feeling that spread through him knowing that the man was still thinking about him but he was nervous about the contents of the letter. Taking another long breath, he broke the wax seal and started to read.

 _ **My dearest Harry,**_

 _ **It has been nearly a month and I haven't heard a word from you, have you taken the bracelet off? Please tell me how you are.**_

 _ **I want to thank you for the stubborn sacrifice you have made, however it hasn't taken the ache away from my heart knowing that you are in another continent and away from me. Please tell me you are eating and are healthy because I am worried about you. You seemed so sad and defeated when we last spoke.**_

 _ **I miss you, Harry. Even as I write this I scoff at how soft I seem to have gotten but that is because you have changed me whether I realized it at the time or not. I am different and I have a hole inside me that feels completely empty now that you are gone.**_

 _ **The next lot of school holidays are coming up and I would very much like you to come and stay with me. I have yet to approach the Headmaster about this, considering you are under his parental care at this current point, however I want to ask if you would like the same. So much has happened, much stress and pain, so I would understand if you do not want to see me again.**_

 _ **Please let me know your thoughts.**_

 _ **Yours,**_

 _ **Severus.**_

Harry sniffed, he hadn't realized he had started crying until he finished the last part of the letter and he hastily wiped his tears away with his brown sleeve before going over and reading the letter again. It seemed that Severus missed him and the feeling was mutual. He had to snigger to himself at the tone the man used at the beginning, it was so unlike the man to bare himself like he was doing but then again, Harry realized that the mans feelings for him were real. Severus didn't give much away although in this letter he had.

He smiled at the bottom of the letter and glanced at his wrist where the light caught his silver bangle. No, he hadn't taken it off and he _had_ received the messages the man sent but he didn't know what to reply with. He didn't know if the man was doing it out sympathy or if he really meant it. Now he knew the man's intentions and it was good to know although it had brought back more feelings and memories of that fateful day and he couldn't help but start crying again.

 _No, you mustn't be weak,_ he chastised himself. He was done crying over what had happened and he had to be strong. He knew the Durmstrang boys were tough, they weren't sorted into houses or anything, just into groups but there was a certain gruffness to each student that wasn't found at Hogwarts. He still wasn't used to it.

He wiped away the rest of his tears and put the letter into his bag along with Hermione's before he stood and left the hall, he still wasn't that confident in finding his way around the castle so he had to leave a little earlier to ensure he wasn't late for class.

* * *

As Harry sat through his Potion's class listening to his Professor ramble on about theory, his thoughts wandered. He remembered back to when Potion's was fun, but then again he realized that that was probably because the man he ended up falling in love with took that class. Now, it just seemed to be a poor reminder of what could have been and the thought was depressing.

He ran his thumb over the silver on his wrist, he knew he should make contact with Severus but he didn't know what to say, he was also unsure if he should be sending the man an owl or if he could get away with just messaging him. He sighed and glanced at the time on the clock was on the front wall, he knew that Hogwarts classes had finished by now and he briefly wondered what his ex-Professor was doing right about now.

"Potter!"

He jumped in his seat when Professor Daskalov barked his name from across the room. Looking over he saw the man crossing his arms over his chest and looking at him impatiently but Harry had no idea what he had said or what they were even talking about so he shrugged and stuttered an apology.

"I don't know about these Hogwarts imps." He sighed and went back to teaching the class, obviously sensing that he wasn't going to get anything out of the ex-Gryffindor.

The rest of the class sniggered and Harry hung his head, he couldn't do this, he wanted to be back at Hogwarts with his friends… With Severus. He pulled back the brown cuff of his school jersey and clasped it with his fingers as he thought about what to send Severus now that he had made the split decision to send the man a quick message to let him know that he was still in fact alive.

 _Hi._

He settled with something pathetic and small, but he knew that Severus would realize that this meant he still wore the bracelet. His heart then jumped and started racing when he felt the tingle on his wrist and he looked down to read the green letters scrolling across as he read the reply.

 _It's good to hear from you. Did you get my letter?_

Harry looked up and around the classroom, it just seemed out of habit to scan the room before sending a reply in case anyone saw what he was doing.

 _It arrived this morning. How are you?_

Again the reply took a matter of seconds and Harry wondered where Severus was.

 _I am glad to still be teaching, no thanks to your sacrifice. I am sincerely grateful as I have said before. How is Durmstrang treating you?_

That message hit him hard in the chest and he bent his head to hide his face in case he started to cry again. He chided himself every time because he knew it was weak and he refused to let the other students see him crying, he didn't know if he could deal with that level of humiliation from them.

 _It's very different to Hogwarts, but there is a Physical Education class and we learn how to wield a sword so it's not all that bad._

It was a total lie but he didn't want Severus feeling bad, he had said many times before through messaging on the bracelet that he would swap places and resign from his job so that Harry could be happy. That's why he had ignored so many of Severus's messages, so that he didn't have to tell him the truth.

 _And the students are treating you well?_

Harry sighed, _what kind of question is that?_ He asked himself, picking up his quill and scribbling what was on the board as his Professor came around the tables as he spoke. He supposed he could tell him that he had many friends but he sincerely doubted the man would believe him. He glanced over his shoulder at his Professor before sending him a more honest answer.

 _I tend to stick to myself. What are you doing?_

He was getting a bit of a rush speaking to the man but he had to keep himself in check, going from teary eyed, being told off for not paying attention to smiling in class would have people suspicious.

 _Marking in my office. You?_

He smiled gingerly to himself and hung his head as he replied.

 _Potions class._

Harry didn't get a chance to see the man's reply as a hand was slammed down on the table in front of him and he subconsciously moved his hands under the desk, pulling his cuff down as he did so no one saw what he was doing.

"You will see me after this lesson, Mr. Potter. How disrespectful to not pay attention in my class. Go and stand out in the corridor until I dismiss the rest of the students."

"Yes, sir." Harry mumbled before picking up his bag with his books and heading outside.

It was a cold and stormy day and as Harry stood out in the open hallway the wind whipped past him, the cool air going straight into his skin and he shivered. He glanced down at the message Severus had sent but couldn't even manage a smile as he berated him for not paying attention. _Trust him to still treat me like a student_ , he thought sadly and looked down the corridor when he heard footsteps.

"Get lost, Potty?" The cruel jeer from a brunette sounded as he walked past and Harry had to step quickly out of the way as he leaned over and spat in his direction.

He didn't know who the boy was but apparently everyone knew who Harry was seeing as he was a late arrival to the school. As he watched the boy retreat further down the hallway he cursed him under his breath and wrapped his arms around himself to keep the cold at bay.

Once Harry had been given a strict talking to and a detention with their caretaker after dinner he walked slowly back to his dorm room, soaking wet after having to help clear some blocked pipes and grabbed his towel. He was going to have a shower regardless of the fact that it was nearly curfew because he needed to be warmed up after spending an hour out in the howling wind and chilling rain trying and being unsuccessful to unblock the drainage pipes. It was certainly worse than anything he had been dealt when at Hogwarts.

"Oh, look who we have here. Get a little wet sucking Daskalov off after class today?"

Harry rolled his eyes at the student, they were the year above him and a right pain but he just kept to himself and walked over to an empty shower cubicle and hung his towel up.

"Oi, Potter I was talking to you." The boy said again and his three friends laughed.

Harry ignored it but suddenly didn't feel so safe in the showers with four older boys in there so he just shut the curtain and leaned up against the cubicle wall until they decided to leave. He wasn't so lucky as the curtain was ripped open and was pulled from the stall by the tall black haired boy who had been talking to him.

"You deaf?" He barked and slammed Harry up against the hard stone wall opposite the showers.

"No." Harry choked out, suddenly feeling very powerless in front of the four boys.

"Oh, it speaks," The boy said feigning surprise, "What's with these Hogwarts freaks?" He laughed and Harry was kneed in the groin making him cry out in pain before he was left to drop to his knees.

"Ha, suck it, Potter." The boy continued from above and Harry watched as the boy put a hand on the crotch of his pants to reiterate his point before the four of them walked away, leaving Harry breathing deeply on the tiled floors.

At that moment, a boy with grey eyes from Harry's dorm walked in and frowned at him kneeling on the floor before standing in front of the basins and fixing his hair. He didn't bother to help Harry up, but then again he would have been dubious of the steely eyed teen's intentions if he had so Harry brushed himself off and went back into the shower cubicle where he stripped off and jumped under the hot shower. His groin throbbed a little under the water so he quickly washed himself down and once he was warmed up, stepped out of the shower and toweled himself dry.

Once back in the dorm the other boys were starting to dribble in so without wanting to engage with anyone, Harry pulled his boxers on and climbed into bed. As he lay there his pendant rolled off his chest and lay next to the bangle on his wrist that was by his head. He longed for Severus to be beside him but he had to make do with his current situation.

Gripping his wrist gently, he sent Severus good night wishes before he attempted to get any sort of sleep that he knew wasn't going to come easy for him.


	3. Chapter 3

**.**

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* * *

By the weekend, Harry had had enough of the taunting and the name calling from the other boys. It seemed that over the course of the week it was getting worse and more than anything it was irritating him, it generally seemed to happen in the corridors and in the Grand Hall during breakfast but never in his dorm and for that he was grateful, he didn't want to have to sleep in his Animagus form.

A couple of days before, Harry had sent a letter back to Hermione outlining what was going on and he didn't leave out any details. He wanted to be honest with them because they deserved that especially considering he'd spent most of the year lying to them; it wasn't that Severus didn't deserve the truth but he wasn't going to make the man more concerned than he currently was given the tone of Hermione's letter. He was glad when he had found Hedwig up in the owlery rafters and vowed that he would come and see her more often because he felt like she missed Hogwarts as well. He never really liked going to the owlery though, it always seemed so eerie and usually there was no one up there so when Harry bumped into Goyle his heart had started hammering away in his chest at the prospect of being beaten. It didn't happen though; the boy didn't even give him the time of day, which he was glad because it meant that he wasn't a target to the ex-Slytherin.

Now however, Harry was sitting in the Grand Hall for breakfast when something that felt sharp hit him square in the chest and made him fall off the bench. There was a loud cackling from a large group from the other side of the hall and when he stood it was the same students that had kneed him earlier in the week. He groaned in frustration more than anything else and without having finished his breakfast, left the hall to find refuge in the library.

He had tried to keep up his studious behaviour once he had arrived at Durmstrang although it had been hard at first, however once he had made somewhat friends with the library lady he felt a little safer to study and excel. He was doing well in all classes, however the classes that he seemed to excel in were Potions, Charms and surprisingly enough the Dark Arts; of course Defense against the Dark Arts was offered, but because Hogwarts only taught the defense aspect he was miles ahead of the other students and had been allowed to examine out of the class once he passed their final papers early for his year level.

After spending the whole morning and most of the afternoon in the library, Harry made his way to the dorms so he could relax before dinner. When he arrived the same grey eyed boy was perched up on his bed but apart from that, no one else was present. The boy never said anything to Harry, well actually Harry didn't make the effort to talk to anyone in the school because he didn't trust them or they made fun of him. This teen seemed different though and as Harry sat down on the side of his bed the boy finally said something.

"You shouldn't let them get to you like that." He said softly but confidently.

Harry just looked up at him and didn't say anything, he didn't know what his game was so chose to ignore it however rude it seemed to be but the simple fact was he didn't trust him. Harry lay out on his bed and stared at the ceiling, every now and then he would look over at the boy but he seemed engrossed in whatever he was doing. Harry flinched in surprise when he felt his wrist tingle.

 _How are you, Harry?_

A small smile reached Harry's face as he read the message and quickly looking over at the other boy again to see that he wasn't watching, he sent a reply to the man who was in another continent.

 _I'm bored, is how I am. How are you?_

Just after he sent the message there was movement from the other side of the room and Harry sat up and watched as the other teen was rustling through his trunk and changing his clothes. Harry quickly looked away when he saw the boy stripping and his eyes went wide and found himself blushing at almost being caught snooping. A tingle on his wrist brought him back to the task at hand and left him feeling slightly guilty.

 _I have been too productive, am currently sitting in my living area sipping some whiskey. Something you are quite accustomed to._

This made Harry smile fully this time and he remembered the night he got completely smashed on Severus's supply of alcohol. His smile faded though when he realized he would never be able to do that again, or maybe he could. He suddenly remembered that Severus had written him a letter so he reached down into his bag and grabbed it out to reread it.

Severus wanted to know if he wanted to stay with him over the break. He knew that if he had the choice he would definitely go with Severus rather than with Ron just because he missed the man so much and he meant even more. He sighed and raked a hand through his hair, he thought about maybe writing to the Headmaster and asking because he was currently in charge of his affairs. It was worth a shot but for now he would have to think about it because the boy was coming over to him.

"Can I help you?" Harry asked tiredly, putting the note back.

"My name is, Christian. I felt maybe I should introduce myself seeing as we've been sharing a dorm for over a month." He said matter of factly and Harry nodded, moving so he was sitting on the bed with his feet touching the floor.

"I'm Harr – "

"Oh I know who _you_ are, Potter. Look, what I said before, it's true. Fight back then they'll stop harassing you like that obnoxious Malfoy boy and his lackey Goyle."

He didn't wait for Harry to reply to him and once he had finished speaking, left the room. _Hmm, so Malfoy had to deal with it too_ , it was a refreshing image seeing Malfoy degraded but he didn't have the fight in him to get back at the boys who were tormenting him. He was just trying to pass his examinations and then hopefully go back to Hogwarts for his final year, being of age, he hoped that he could finish off his education there. At this point he would have given anything to be back in Gryffindor tower, he would very much be able to deal without seeing Severus as long as he had his friends.

* * *

The next few weeks continued in a familiar fashion, Harry being used for target practice and a human dueling sack. What frustrated him most of all was when the Professor's did nothing to intervene; Harry had been bleeding from the cuts on his face and fractured nose when their Defense and Dark Arts teacher, Professor Viktor, had stalked past and hissed at Harry to _'grow a back bone'_ , those were his exact words and Harry had just gaped at him before his jaw had been dislocated.

After a night in the hospital wing he had been released back into classes feeling rather foolish and let down but he thought that maybe his dorm mate had a point. Harry was pretty well versed in dueling and defense work but he still didn't have the courage to stand up to these bullies because he felt that if he lost then it would become worse. That, or he would end up being more injured because he didn't know how to properly defend himself against the dark curses that the older students were learning, as the combination of Transfiguration and shields would not save him. It almost felt like a no win.

On this day however, Harry was walking out of his Dark Arts class at the start of lunch when a couple of boys blocked his way and smashed his books out of his hands. They landed with a clatter and a thud on the ground making the boys laugh hysterically at his misfortune, however Harry tried to ignore it and bent down to pick his books up, which in hindsight was probably not the best thing to do.

"What's the matter cry baby. You soft Hoggy Warts chicken going to run off crying to your friends?" It was the main ringleader and he sneered down at Harry.

"Friends? What friends?" His friend was laughing and it caused the passing students to snigger as well.

"Leave me alone." Harry tried weakly and he then found his head being ripped upwards where he came face to face with his main attacker.

"Or what, Potter? You going to curse me? You're more pathetic than I thought," He pushed Harry's head and it made contact with the stone floor with an audible thump causing him to squeeze his eyes shut tightly to absorb the pain, "Malfoy was right when he said you had nothing to fight with." He finished and with a swift kick in the ribs they walked off leaving Harry to claw at the floor to get up.

When Harry _did_ look up he noticed his Dart Arts Professor standing in the doorway of the classroom watching with an impassive face, but when he looked closely at the man's eyes, he swore he saw a flash of concern as brief as it seemed to be. He ignored the man, it seemed that if he could ignore the rough treatment of his students he could ignore the sympathetic look and put it down to his head hurting for him to be seeing things.

He had just straightened out his books and put his bag over his shoulder, standing with the intention of heading to the library or the dorm, just anywhere to get away from everyone when a hoarse voice stopped him. He turned around and saw Professor Viktor walking towards him and he swallowed, thinking that he was going to be in trouble by the look on his face; he was wrong however, and the man invited him to his office.

Harry had never been in his office before and he was sadly reminded of Severus's office with odd things floating in a variety of different sized jars. It was still just as creepy although his office was in the higher levels of the castle so there was more light let into the room. It was lighter to see the intricate detailing's of every creature where the light hit. When they turned a corner, Harry jumped when a creature within the metal bars of a cage screeched at him and tried to claw at the teen's robes but was able to step out of it's grasp in time for his Professor to pull him over to his desk.

"Have a seat, Potter."

Harry did and whilst he was there, filed the books he had been holding into his bag so he wouldn't forget them. He took a closer look at his Professor, the man genuinely did seem concerned, which was odd but it gave him a slither of hope that everything would be okay.

Their Dark Arts and Defense against the Dart Arts Professor reminded Harry of Severus, the man was tall, lean and looked much older than what his years probably were. He wore dark robes, not too dissimilar to Severus's but then again, a majority of the Professors were male and wore dark robes. The distinguished features of this man were that he had short dark hair with luminous hazel eyes, ones that you could get hypnotized with but Harry looked away before he had the chance for that to happen. He wasn't exactly the sort of Professor one would go to with their issues, or let issues be known like through his facial expressions, which according to Harry's friends _and Severus_ , he was often prone to doing.

"What did you wish to discuss, sir?" Harry finally said, pulling himself together and looking dispassionately at the staunch man behind the desk.

"I stand by what I said the other day, Potter. I do not wish to see a student getting, for what of a better word, _pummeled_ , because he cannot stand up to a bunch of school children." He then regarded Harry for a moment before standing and walking to one side of the room.

"It seems that you have made a target of yourself." He continued and picked a book from the shelf.

"A target, sir?" Harry knew he was playing dumb, he just didn't want to admit that the man was correct and wanted him to confront them; Viktor unfortunately saw right through his words and glared at him.

"Read this." He snapped, literally throwing a solid looking book at Harry.

Harry stared up at him in shock, the title of the book read _'Deadly Dueling Hexes'_ and he wondered why the man thought he should be doing this, did he want him to fight back with Dark curses? He jumped when the man barked at him to get out and he scrambled, dropping the book a couple of times before high tailing it out of the room and running straight into someone with a tell tale mop of blonde hair.

"Gah, watch it, Potter. Merlin knows why Kakaroff allowed you to attend here." The ex-Slytherin spat before brushing himself off and continuing on his path.

Malfoy didn't look his immaculate self these day, instead his hair looked dirty and the fringe fell over some of his face as it was getting too long. The brown uniforms did nothing for any of the students, which at first Harry thought to be a bonus but all the faces blurred into one and he found it hard recognizing people that he knew in a crowd.

He made it back to the dorms without any further incident and flopped down on his bed, clutching his ribs and rubbing his jaw that felt as though it was throbbing. Looking at the cover of the book he'd been given he flipped to the table of contents and ran through the list. He huffed at the detailed contents page and wondered how they were allowed to get away with teaching this kind of stuff to students, it was on the cusp of being illegal, although that didn't seem to matter here as he had been certain someone used a forgivable the day before. Didn't the Ministry care? Apparently not, as he came to a section that outlined ways of slicing opponents with a wand. _Ouch_ , he cringed but flicked through to the page and started reading.

He hadn't realized he'd missed dinner until the other boys from his dorm were coming back and getting settled for bed. He groaned when his stomach rumbled softly but he knew there was nothing he could do about it unless he went out in his Animagus form and got his hands on a rat. Even the thought made him shudder, so he went to the bathroom to clean himself up.

When he came back there was a plate of food on his bed and he frowned, looking around the room. He caught the eye of one boy who rolled his eyes and motioned over to Christian's empty bed and Harry smiled a little at thought before slipping under the covers with the food on his lap and took a couple of tentative bites. He wanted to thank the teen but by the time Harry had finished and lights had gone out he hadn't seen the boy so he rolled over and with the soft light from the moon, tried to continue reading the book Professor Viktor had given him.

* * *

The following week, Harry was sitting at his normal spot in the Grand Hall with a piece of parchment and his quill poised to start writing to Severus. He decided that he had had enough time to formulate a response and seeing as communication was somewhat limited through the bracelet he thought now would be appropriate.

 _ **Severus,**_

 _ **I apologise for taking so long to reply, however I have sat here wondering what to write back to you.**_

 _ **You asked how I was; well in the current scheme of things, I am fine. Durmstrang is very different to Hogwarts and whilst I keep to myself I have been keeping up with my studies. Professor Viktor, who takes both Defense and the Dark Arts, consented for me to test out of Defense allowing me to look at further options.**_

 _ **You need to stop talking about my sacrifice towards you because I don't want you feeling that way about the situation. You cannot blame yourself for this because at the very least we both had a part to play in this – that reminds me though, how are you getting about with classes? I assume you are still able to teach freely?**_

 _ **I have thought about the holidays and considering what Professor Dumbledore has said to me, it will be up to him to make the final decision. I feel that his decision will have me staying in Bulgaria until the year ends, however I will write to him all the same.**_

 _ **Harry.**_

He sighed and read through the message realizing it didn't sound all that personal but it just didn't feel right after a sudden feeling of resentment coursed through his body. He shoved it into his bag before setting off for his classes that day, he had time to nip up to the owlery but he wanted to think on it for the afternoon before he sent it.

As predicted, his day went like all others and by the time he walked out of History that evening he was physically and mentally exhausted. Walking towards his dorm he decided that he was going to send Severus his letter but at the same time he had thought about sending Dumbledore a quick message as well to ask about the holidays. Of course he had a right to ask, he didn't know what was going to happen to him and some of the students had been talking about the fact that no one ever stayed for the holidays. He didn't feel like staying in the castle by himself and knew that the likelihood of something happening to him would be high, so with a quick note scribbled for the Headmaster of Hogwarts and the other for his lover, he made his way up the many stairs to the owlery.

"Hey girl." He whispered as he attached the letters to her legs.

She hooted at him happily and he stayed there with her a while, letting her nuzzle his chest and stroking her feathers before sending her off.

"No need to hurry back, okay? Stay there for a while if you like." He smiled at her lovingly before watching as she flew off into the darkening sky.

Once she was out of sight he started down the steps in the owlery only to come face to face with a couple of his tormentors who were smiling evilly. He tried to brush past them and whilst at first it didn't look like they were going to let him, he managed to escape but could have sworn that he heard them talking about Hedwig. It was concerning but he had just told her to stay at Hogwarts so hopefully she would be safe there.

By the next morning, Hedwig had arrived at Hogwarts and spent some time with Ron's family owl before it was time to deliver the two letters her owner had given her. She hooted cheerfully before setting off into the early morning sky, soaring towards the large hall that she always loved speeding into before diving to find her owner; except on this day she had to remember that it wasn't her owner she was seeing, it was the Headmaster. He seemed happy to see her and she stuck around, feeding off some breakfast leftovers that had been offered to her whilst she watched the old Wizard take both letters and hand one to the man sitting beside him. The thought that she had done her job pleased her immensely and she went off to find someone familiar that would stroke her.

"Severus, I believe this is for you." Dumbledore said as he passed over the other note that was addressed to their Potion's master.

Both men recognized the awful writing on the front of the letters and exchanged a looked before both opening them at the same time.

Severus heard the Headmaster sigh before the letter was placed on the table. He risked a glance at the old man and was worried about the contents, though he should have been worried about Harry's reply to the letter he had sent a couple of weeks beforehand. It seemed like such a standard response and he found it a little insulting that after he had poured his heart to the boy, he could disregard those words that took days to formulate on paper. He too sighed and taking a deep breath looked over to the Gryffindor table where he was met with two anxious glances from Harry's friends.

"If you have a spare moment after classes today, Severus, we need to have a word." Dumbledore said quietly and Severus nodded numbly before standing, wanting to get away from all the prying eyes so he could be alone to gather his thoughts before classes started.

On his travels down to the Dungeons, he thought about Harry's letter. If he looked between lines he could clearly read that Harry was not enjoying Durmstrang at all, in fact he believed that Harry was regretting his decision but the boy and Dumbledore seemed so keen on the idea of him being shifted when it had been offered. This made him angrier with himself and he swore under his breath as he slammed the door to his office open and shut it with equal vigor.

 _Is this what it has become?_ He wondered with a mixture of anger and sadness, he didn't want to lose Harry but he felt that perhaps he should give the teen some space. He had mentioned in his letter, well it sounded like he was telling him off, for mentioning the sacrifice made but it was something he felt needed to be addressed.

He groaned in frustration, the past month had been awful and he had felt like everyone was on his case. Whilst Dumbledore and the Board had agreed to have him teaching, they were very strict about him being alone with students and was unable to be assigned detentions or remedial lessons without someone else in the room with him. It had seemed innocent enough until he had heard rumors about him but they hadn't even come close to putting Harry and he in the same sentence so it was comforting to know the secret wasn't out. _Yet_ , he thought before standing and making his way to class for the morning.

* * *

Harry was having a rough day; he felt as though his thoughts were scattered and he wasn't concentrating on anything, which proved to be dangerous when one considered he was in his Dark Arts class and they were having a practical lesson. He managed to dodge a hex at him, _just_ , but felt the magic zip past him and this made him wake up and concentrate.

Ever since his Professor had given him the book, he had been on edge, looking about the corridors and classrooms to see if someone was going to jump out at him. He was scared, there was no doubt about it but he knew he had to get smart about it and stop worrying. He hadn't been in a battle of wands yet, the students had only struck him physically, _that's it_ , he thought in a moment of clarity before he was stung on the hand and he stumbled backwards before being lifted up into the air by his feet. He was trapped.

The class stopped what they were doing and laughed, but Harry didn't find it very funny and neither did his Professor who cut the rope with a flick of his wrist and Harry landed with a thump on his head and shoulder.

"Enough. Get back to it." Viktor bellowed to the class and Harry dusted himself off, catching his Professor's eye before aiming his wand at the teen he was partnered with.

" _Carnificare."_ Harry roared in a sudden flare of rage, the curse's rough translation being 'to decapitate', courtesy of his newly acquired Dart Arts book.

Back at Hogwarts, Severus was making his way up to the Headmasters office after his last class. He had no doubts that this was to do with Harry so he schooled his features and knocked on the door before it swung open and he was beckoned in.

"Thank you for your promptness, Severus. I believe you must know why you are here?" The greyed Wizard asked and Severus nodded before responding.

"I assume, Harry wrote to you regarding the holidays?" Severus realized it was risky to bring this up, technically he wasn't supposed to make any contact with Harry unless it was under supervised circumstances.

"It is." Dumbledore knew his Potion's Professor had written to their ex-Gryffindor but he turned a blind eye to it, not seeing the true harm it would do for now.

"And?" Severus asked, irritated but hopeful that he would be seeing his green eyed beauty these holidays.

"I have decided that he will stay at the Academy for the break – It is in both of your best interests for this to happen, please understand." Dumbledore had to interject his own response to that Severus wouldn't interrupt him.

"I understand," he said before adding quietly, "But I don't accept."

"You know the rules, Severus. The least you could do is to wait until he is of age, until then you must respect the consequences."

"Of course." Severus moped and went to stand.

The walk to his quarters was long and depressing. He longed for the day where he could come back into his living room and see that grey blob of fur spread out in front of his fire, or even Harry's lean body splayed across the couch. He shuddered involuntarily at the memory it brought up, the one that caused immense pain and sorrow for him; the day that they were caught. He growled at the memory, he should have been smarter.

"Get back to your dormitory's, ten points from Gryffindor and Ravenclaw." He roared at the two boys walking slowly down the corridor.

He had had to get his anger out somehow, _what better way than deducting points?_ He tried to reason with himself as he heard their stutters of protest.


	4. Chapter 4

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 **#Voldegirl:**

 **Thanks for the review :) Of course there will be Snarry goodness girl, how could I leave my two favourite boys apart. [Hope that's not a spoiler]**

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 **Apologies in advance... I have already written this chapter before I read your reviews on Chapter 3... I may need to reinforce that baracaded fort to dodge your undoubtedly vicious attacks upon my person for the contents of this chapter.**

 **It gets better! I promise.**

 **xoxo**

* * *

Harry made his way to his Physical Education class in the afternoon, he wasn't looking forward to it like he should have been. Whilst he was certain they would benefit from something like this at Hogwarts, he had lost the defined muscle that he had gained from Quidditch earlier in the year and was finding that without much meat on his frame this class seemed to tire him out more than it should. He had been thinking about his eureka moment in his Dark Arts class the day before and was beginning to formulate a way to try and stay out of trouble with the other students. Sure, it sounded great in theory but he really wasn't sure of himself, no matter what Professor Viktor said.

He sighed and pushed the big wooden doors of their make shift gymnasium and stripped his brown sweatshirt off to reveal his tighter brown singlet underneath. His eyes flickered over to where the swords were kept and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that they hadn't been prepared for that days lesson, his day was looking up, if only slightly, at this information.

"Right, you pathetic lot. Hope you brought your running shoes." Professor Belakov spat at them.

He was a burly Russian man who didn't take any prisoners and he walked the line of boys, including Harry, that were standing against the wall. He looked each and everyone of them up and down before stopping at Harry, a small sneer pulling at his lips when he continued to speak.

"You will all, _each_ and _everyone_ of you, leave this room, run to the warf and back before the next class begins," He had turned and walked away from Harry at this point as he addressed the rest of the group, "Therefore, it's your issue if you're late to your next class. GO!" He roared and Harry sprinted off in front of everyone else.

He didn't last too long in front but he maintained a good speed to keep up with the other faster runners. He guessed that it was his saving grace, that he wasn't heavy and bulky like some of the others, his seekers body, which was light and agile even though it hadn't been on a broom from the moment he had arrived, was working in his favor for once.

He was glad he hadn't fallen behind as they made their way through the castle, he was sure that by the time he had run the allotted time, he would have come out at the wrong entrance and would be lost. This castle was worse than Hogwarts. He shook his head; he didn't need to be thinking about that place today, he had to get thinking about how he was going to protect himself without having to show people that he was trying. He doubted they would be merciful if they saw him trying to fight back, and he certainly didn't want to be weak in his retaliation.

Finally after what seemed like hours, he puffed back into the gym with a couple of other students, satisfied that they had arrived first and it was rewarding to see Belakov looking at him in disgust rather than a smirk. _I knew you were trying to throw me off_ , Harry thought proudly before he turned and grabbed his gym bag with fresh clothes for the rest of the day. He needed a shower.

It was on his walk to his next class when Harry realized he hadn't heard from either Severus or Headmaster Dumbledore; Hedwig hadn't appeared over the past couple of days either and he wondered if she was all right. Quickly glancing down at his wrist he decided to send a small hello to Severus, he had told Hedwig to stay a few days but it was coming up to a week now and he hadn't heard anything. He tried to shake the thought off but something didn't feel right so he tried to think of something else as he walked into his Charms class for the next couple of hours without hearing anything from Severus.

Soon enough it was the next morning and Harry woke tired and feeling groggy. He hadn't had the best night sleep, well he hadn't really slept at all over the month and a half he had been at Durmstrang, but this night was different and he felt haunted by something. He looked around the dorm and found everyone asleep so he tiredly got up and started going about getting ready for the day, as he did he wondered why he hadn't heard anything from his ex-Potion's Professor, _and most likely ex-lover_ , he thought sadly when realization dawned on him. It was a saddening thought but again, he had more important things to worry about as he left the dorm for the Grand Hall for breakfast.

When he walked in, the hall hushed a little but he soon forgot that when he saw a familiar white shape on his usual table, but the image was wrong and Harry felt his blood go cold, seemingly draining completely from his face as he screamed and ran over to his owl.

"Hedwig? _NO!_ Wake up, please, _no_."

He slumped into his seat, cradling his owl as she lay there cold in his arms, blood staining her crisp white feathers and covering Harry's brown uniform. He couldn't understand why anyone would do this, why they thought they could get away with it for a start, but then when he looked around people were just staring at him. The boys across the hall who seemed to hate Harry were snickering and laughing, which was enough for Harry's magic to spark dangerously around him, essentially wiping the smiles off their faces. He imagined his own face looked like thunder, Hedwig had been Harry's friend, she had always been there for him, always there to comfort him at his relatives, always there to deliver his messages and didn't complain. She was the best thing that could have happened to him and what was worse, was that she was killed over some petty school bullying.

Hedwig was dead.

Harry felt a hand on his shoulder and through teary eyes he looked up and saw Christian, his room mate and he reached forward to pick an envelope up before pulling at Harry's arm to get him to stand. He felt numb, he felt mad, and he felt like tearing the whole school to pieces. He was more than angry; he was livid as he was led away not caring where they went.

As it happened Christian, had led him to an empty corridor that opened out into a terrace, the fiercely cool winds whipped past them almost painfully and there Harry sunk to his knees, still carrying his most prized possession in his arms, not really knowing what to do. However, he soon saw his room mate who kneeled in front of him and put his hand on Harry's shoulder again before speaking.

"Harry? Perhaps we could cremate her?" He asked gently, the passion in his voice strong and it made Harry look up at him with a small nod.

After an urn was Transfigured from a rock, Harry put Hedwig on the cold stone between them and pulled out his wand. Initially Christian had said he'd do it, but Harry didn't want that to happen once his brain started functioning properly again and had stopped him, saying that he wanted to be the one. The boy with steely eyes had agreed immediately and came to stand behind him as he cast a strong _Incendio_ over her small form, watching as she quickly turned to ash and was transported into the urn.

There was a moment of pure silence, where the wind had even stopped blowing and the clouds parted where a warm light from the sun hit the spot where Harry was holding the urn with Hedwig's ashes. He looked up at the sky before it clouded over and Harry's magic sparked again with his fury. Christian kept his hand on Harry's shoulder, why, Harry didn't know but it was strangely comforting at this current point as he made a vow to his beloved.

"They are going to pay." Harry hissed and there was a loud crack of thunder before a few spits of rain started to fall and he was pulled into the shelter.

"What are you going to do?" Christian asked, his voice a little shaky.

"Magic. They are going to feel how badly I can retaliate." Harry replied turning to face the teen, his eyes were jaded and passionate, not the bright green everyone was used to seeing.

These eyes looked dark.

* * *

Severus was woken that morning with an intense pain on his wrist. He cried out, more in surprise, before gripping onto it and trying to lessen the burning but it was no use and he had to endure it, not wanting to take it off. He was worried, above anything else, about Harry. He realized something must have happened, something bad because he had never felt it this strong before, unlike the many times over the past month that he had felt. He wasn't stupid, he knew Harry was having issues, and after careful thought about the letter that he had been sent he knew for a fact that his boy wasn't happy. Couple that with what he was currently experiencing and he knew something was seriously wrong.

He had tried messaging him through the pain but he received no answer meaning he was going to have to wait. He doubted that the old bumbling fool of a Headmaster would know what was going on, but at this rate, after a solid ten minutes of this torture, someone was bound to notice his discomfort. He shook his head, he wanted Harry back in his arms, back where he could keep an eye on the teen, but alas he was going to, again, wait until he was back at Hogwarts. _If he ever comes back_ , he sighed and went for a shower.

Hermione and Ron were sitting at the Gryffindor table, Ron shoveling food into his mouth as Hermione sat there looking at him with a disgusted look on her face. She shook her head in utter frustration when he glared at her asking what the issue was and she adverted her eyes, resting them on the doors to the Great Hall when a pale looking Professor Snape walked into with pain lancing his face every few steps. She frowned and watched as he walked in front of her.

"I think something's wrong with, Harry." She whispered across the table at Ron, who then looked up and at where she was looking.

"He always looks like that, Hermione. Just ignore the git." He mumbled before starting on another plate of food.

She wasn't convinced.

Meanwhile, Severus took his seat next to Dumbledore and poured himself a strong coffee, his hand shaking under the pressure for keeping a straight face. The bangle may not have been burning but there was now an angry and blistered red mark on his wrist that rubbed against his sleeves. Huffing he pulled his arm back and rolled his sleeve up a fraction so he could function around his breakfast plate. However, as he was finishing up he could feel the Headmaster's steady gaze in his direction and he turned his head to look at the man, only to find he was glancing at his wrist.

"Issues brewing, Severus?" He asked candidly, which made Severus snorted.

"No." He replied coolly before standing with the intention of creating a dramatic exit.

As he stepped off the raised platform he glanced at Harry's friends, the red head was eating like a pig, _nothing new there_ , but Miss. Granger was looking right at him, so thinking of something daring he made sure the mark on his wrist was visible and calculatingly raked a hand through his hair but not without making eye contact with her first. As predicted she gasped, and audibly, which pleased him immensely before he concentrated on leaving the hall. _Now it's up to them so say something_ , he thought smartly, he knew that the Headmaster would not heed anything he said nor take it seriously so he was almost at a loss as to what to do. He still cared about his Gryffindor, even though things between them had changed.

* * *

Harry was sitting in Karkaroff's office, he was still reeling from the events that had transpired that morning and had accidentally blown up his cauldron in Potion's due to his unstable magic that flared momentarily, but enough to almost destroy the classroom. If he were to be asked, he wouldn't know how to identify nor classify his emotions currently because he couldn't really think of anything other than the loss he had incurred.

"So, Mr. Potter. I hear there was a little bit of an issue this morning in the Grand Hall?" The Highmaster's voice was rough and deep with a thick accent, possibly Bulgarian.

Harry's head snapped up so he was looking into the beady eyes of his Highmaster. Was he serious when he talked about _little_ when referring to his owl being essentially murdered in cold blood that morning? _Has he no heart at all?_ He wondered before lowering his eyes, he didn't know what he should say back to that, he knew his magic was dancing wildly around the room even though it was only _just_ noticeable.

"Hmm, I see you're not one for speaking," He started, standing and moving towards Harry who was seating in front of his desk.

"My owl was murdered." Harry resigned, his voice forced as he tried to reign in another bout of magical outburst.

" _Murdered_ , you say?" The man was stroking his ratty beard and Harry had to force himself not to roll his eyes.

"Yes, murdered and you're not going to do a damn thing about it are you?" Harry suddenly shouted and stood so he was at eye level with the vile man.

Karkaroff suddenly advanced on Harry and grabbed him by the back of the head, his grip nearly ripping his hair out of the roots and he crumpled to the floor with the pain. He whimpered at the treatment and briefly wondered, again, how the staff of this school could be so callous and cruel.

"You will address me as, Highmaster, Potter," He spat before letting go of Harry's hair and took a large step back, fisting his hands, "As for your owl, that is a shame, however seeing as you can produce no evidence of this being done by students I cannot punish anyone." His voice rung loudly through the room and Harry looked up at him fiercely.

"How am I supposed to write to my friends then?" Harry asked a little quieter and reserved this time even though he was tense with building magic.

"That's _your_ problem, Potter; though I would accept any requests for the purchase of another. Now, on matters that I called you here for, your dear Headmaster at Hogwarts has informed me he wishes for you to stay here over the upcoming holiday break."

"Wha – "

"Enjoy your stay here, Potter. You must have really ticked him off if he doesn't care enough to bring you back. Now get out and find Belakov, I believe he is supervising detention for your outburst." Karkaroff sneered before turning to go back to his desk.

Harry was momentarily stunned and gaped at him before a glare was sent his way. He muttered his leave before his fingers curled around the knob on the door and he made his way out. He couldn't believe it; he was getting a detention because he was sticking up for the injustice. _I'll get him too then,_ he thought vindictively before seeking out the one man he didn't want to see.

On his way he glanced down at his wrist, it was starting to tingle, _again_ , as it had been all day. It seemed that Severus was worried about him but then again he should have been, _he was the one that got me into this, this is all his fault_ , he told himself in defiance and then without batting an eye lid, yanked the bangle off his wrist and slipped it into his pocket. He was angry with Severus too, if he hadn't been so, _so… what?_ He stopped and found a bench in the corridor to sit on. As he sat there his wrist felt weird and the presence of the magic associated with the bangle seemed to be missing. It truly was odd and suddenly, in a gut wrenching feeling, realized that Severus would feel the loss too.

 _No, it's his fault_. He was determined not to cave. Severus had made his bed; it was now time to lie in it.

Harry had been right of course and Severus had been sitting in his office with a couple of detention students when he suddenly felt something pulling at his chest. The feeling then travelled down his arm where the bangle was before he got a chill, one that came directly from the silver that caught the dim light in his office making him frown. _Odd_ he thought, thumbing the silver before he addressed the two students who had been caught entering the forest after classes unattended.

As this was all happening, Ron and Hermione were in the Gryffindor common heading out so they could get to the owlery. Hermione hadn't been satisfied and badgered Ron until he agreed to help her write a letter to their friend across the sea to ask if he was okay. Ron was adamant that nothing was wrong but Hermione kept telling him what she saw and how she felt about it. She really was concerned about it all, she figured that their Potion's Professor was aware about the relationship and was almost impressed that he had used this subtly to get a message across. Of course when she went down this avenue, Ron accused her of seeing things that weren't really there because he believed there was no way that the 'Dungeon bat' would involve them in something so serious.

"Okay, when we send this off, will you _please_ stop with all the worrying." Ron pleaded as they ascended the owlery staircase.

"Yes." Was her clipped answer before they disappeared to find one of their owls.

* * *

Over the next couple of weeks, Harry spent his time going to class and then hitting the library before going to dinner and then back to the library. He was determined to become the more proficient in his dueling and charms abilities so that he could get away with paying back the monsters that had hurt him so much. So far he was doing pretty well, but what he wanted to do was hurt them, not temporarily, but indefinitely.

It was then one morning when Harry was sitting at his spot for breakfast that Christian came and joined him. He looked at the boy in caution before he got back to what he was doing. As he did this, the same brown barn owl came and dropped a letter on the table, narrowly missing his eggs, before coming to rest beside him at the next place setting. It was another owl from his friends, he had been conversing with them other the past couple of weeks and they had voiced their concern many times over this period. He was fine with it, although it was getting rather repetitive so he sighed when he inspected this letter and raked a hand through his hair.

 _ **Harry,**_

 _ **I wish you were coming to the Burrow or even back to Hogwarts for the holidays, we would love to see you. Is there any way that this can happen or is it settled?**_

 _ **Let us know.**_

 _ **Hermione and Ron.**_

"You friends?" Christian asked and Harry nodded before screwing up the letter and setting it aside where it burst into flames, he wasn't going to reply this time.

"Your wordless spells are improving." He tried again and Harry this time looked at him, narrowing his eyes.

"What do you want?" He asked rather gruffly and it too the boy by surprise.

"I have been watching you. You seem upset," He admitted before turning back to his breakfast, "Sorry for caring." He added and Harry frowned at him.

"I am upset, but more angry than anything. I need to come up with some unobvious ways to get back at _them_." He said motioning towards the other side of the hall.

"Do you?" He urged, the same passion filling his eyes as he spoke it.

"Do I, what?" Harry asked confused.

" _Come up_ with spells."

"Uh, what do you mean?" Harry asked curious but cautious.

"Creating you _own_ spells." He whispered and Harry's eyes widened, that was most certainly Dark magic.

He shrugged but Christian got a knowing look in his eyes and winked before standing to leave the hall. Harry watched as he left, he didn't know how he felt about the teen's help because, in all honesty, he still didn't trust him. Only time would tell however, the boy was going to have to prove himself because Harry didn't know if he could go through another bout of betrayal.

* * *

 **Okay, so this is where Harry has hit rock bottom [just to let you know] so things will only get better for him [although having said that the road will not be smooth sailing].**

 **Next chapter shouldn't be too far away.**


	5. Chapter 5

**.**

 **#crazzedblueeyes:**

 **Thanks for your feedback and I'm sorry, but Hedwig had to happen :( Yes, it's going to be interesting when they do finally reunite. [Totally not a spoiler, lol, this is a Snarry story afterall.**

 **#minewt-love:**

 **Christian isn't _all_ that bad... I don't think so anyway... Hmm, guess we'll see ;)**

 **#tay:**

 **Appreciated the comment, haha unfortunately no bad ass Snape breaking into Durmstrang... However, there may be a chance sighting at some point ;) YOU stay awesome x**

 **#Maximum Hope Power:**

 **Please don't die, you won't be able to read the rest of the story :P**

 **#ozziegurl11888:**

 **I'm glad you're enjoying the story :) I hope I don't disappoint.**

 **#xikum:**

 **Oh believe me, he will hurt others... However there are some people who bare the brunt of his fury that shouldn't [Oops, teaser spoiler hehe - you'll just have to keep reading to find out who] :P**

 **#AnimeMandi22:**

 **Apologies, you should know by now my cliffhangers are always horrible. Christian is Christian, just to clarify. There really isn't anything sinister about him and his eye colour is kind of his identifier if you know what I mean. Like Harry can be 'the gryffindor', I don't really have anything else to call Christian :)**

* * *

 **As always, enjoy x**

* * *

Over the week, Harry could be seen wandering the corridors with his head buried within the pages of a book and his eyes full of determination to make people pay. When he was in his Dark Arts class, Professor Viktor always seemed to place him with some of the boys that he had the issues with, which he enjoyed very much. He had managed to inflict cuts to the faces in these lessons where his opponent was unable to shield his barrage of painful spells and whilst in his heart he knew this was wrong it felt so right, not to mention Viktor praising him in front of the class at his progress.

Speaking of the man, Christian had pulled Harry aside after classes the day he abruptly left in the morning and had handed him a book, apparently courtesy of Professor Viktor but he wasn't allowed to say anything. Harry had flicked through the book and understood the need for secrecy, he hadn't realized a book such as this one would even exist, but there it was in his hot little hands, " _Creating The Devil: Your Own Dark Curses"._

He had now read the book cover to cover and it resided in his bag that he kept on his person at all times, unless of course when he was sleeping, because he didn't want it to fall into the wrong hands. It was very enlightening, there were step-by-step instructions outlining how different wand movements meant different spells and translations. Of course these spells were not supposed to be created unless under supervision by someone from the Ministry so that they could file it away but Christian had assured Harry it would be fine.

"Who's going to know if you cast it wordlessly?" He had offered Harry and the ex-Gryffindor had to admit he had a point.

So now, as he stood in front of another one of his tormentors with a sword in hand during their Physical Education class, Harry felt in control, he swung his sword at the boy and with a slight narrowing of his eyes created a slippery patch right where the boy was going to step, causing him to flail and lose his balance. This was enough time for Harry to swing again and hit the sword out of the teen's hand before going to strike him in the neck. He stopped a millimeter away from the boys throat that convulsed suddenly as he swallowed before Belakov came up behind them and released them for the lesson, not so much as a word about Harry's performance but he didn't care and slid his sword back into its thigh holster.

As he did this, he turned and faced the door, a figure standing there caught his eye and an eyebrow was raised in a smug fashion before Professor Viktor left the room silently. He felt as though over the past couple of weeks the man was looking out for him, or at the least he seemed to be every where Harry was when he was doing something well. _Well by Durmstrang standards_ , he conceded as he went to put his sword away, but at least they were standards and he couldn't fault himself for not trying.

His only issue at the moment was the creation of his own spells, he knew there was a reason why every other person wasn't creating something new and that was because it was hard. That's why in the second week of the school holidays, Harry was huddled in a dark corner of the library with Christian sitting close by as they researched and tried different maneuvers. It was certainly hard work but then suddenly, Harry spoke in Latin and a small spark emitted from his wand causing his room mate to look up in surprise.

"Did you – "

"I think so, hang on." Harry spoke as he read over his notes again before speaking the incantation again.

" _Cor Impetum."_ Harry repeated silkily, moving his wand in a certain motion and a bright green spark emitted.

"What is it?" Christian asked but Harry hesitated, adverting his eyes.

The teen seemingly got the message and shrugged it off before asking Harry if there was anything he needed help on. He shook his head but when he went to stand Harry told him to stay, it had been quite nice having someone to talk to over the past few weeks and he didn't want the boy to go. He received a smile but Christian declined the invitation to stay and after brushing himself down walked away, leaving Harry to practice his curse by himself. He was quite proud, it was a curse that induced the effects of a heart attack, long enough that it would cause concern but by the time he was treated his heart would be back to normal but scarred, served to be a reminder of the activity that caused the spell to be used in the first place.

It was relatively vicious but he didn't care. It was almost as if he had a moment of clarity to realize that he was far better than those students who had been picking on him; what had they shown him? That they were physically strong, that was all. _Nothing smart about picking on someone,_ he mused to himself before deciding to pack up and put his books back in his dorm.

Once he arrived there, no one was about; well really there were only a handful of students that had stuck around for the break as everyone had decided to head home. _Home_ , Harry thought sadly and quickly transformed into _Jade_ , he didn't really have a home now. So he decided to make the most of being at Durmstrang as he could because it was only going to be a matter of time before he found himself standing on the streets with no where to go.

He peered round the corner and padded down the drafty corridor, it was a lot scarier from this vantage point and he wasn't sure this was the best thing considering he was so small. Fortunately he didn't run into anyone and found himself roaming around the pathetic excuse for a garden, jumping into the bushes and finding some solitude. _How come I've never thought about this before?_ He asked himself as he wrapped up into a ball and closed his eyes, the sound of the warf that was a mile away with the waves crashing up on the concrete barriers soon set him off to sleep. His dreams seemingly taking him back to happier times.

* * *

"Harry?" He turned around and at the end of the corridor he could see Severus, but the man looked odd.

"Harry I'm so glad you're here. Look I have to – "

"Severus? Harry? What in, Merlin's name are you two _doing_?" Dumbledore roared as he came to stand in between them, they were suddenly only chest width apart and Harry was itching to touch the black robes.

"Look what's happened!" Dumbledore said again and Harry found himself staring at the Daily Prophet.

The front title read: " _Professor and student caught in the act"_. Harry gasped and felt his heart freezing over, his stomach soon joined it and his throat started to close up.

"What have you done?" Severus said in an accusatory tone and Harry's gaze shot over to his Potion Masters in fear.

Severus was livid with Harry and stated so before yelling that his career was over. Harry panicked, he didn't know what to do, he couldn't breath, he had to get out of there and quickly. So he jumped up and ran, he ran as fast as he could but looking back every few steps to see the two men fading into the distance. He stopped. He was out of breath and there was a crowd of brown uniforms standing in front of him, some smirking, some laughing and some with twisted faces that looked like they were unable to contain their disgust.

"Potter, you've been a bad boy." Once of the gruff boys said before he kicked Harry in the ribs.

He looked up, the wind knocked out of his lungs, his throat still feeling like it would close any second and he watched, it was as if in slow motion as the belt holding the boys pants up was ripped out of the loops and snapped in the air. He cowered away in fear, only to have the boys around him advance and grab his arms, he tried screaming but he couldn't get away until it was too late.

 _Crack_.

 _Jade_ jumped only a few centimeters off the ground as he woke. His heart was hammering away in his chest and he worriedly glanced around in all directions to make sure he was alone. He was glad to see that he was and huffed before crawling out of the bushes and into the cool air. He hadn't realized it was so late and it was almost dark, so he ran as fast as he could to the main doors and up the stairs into the main courtyard.

 _That felt so real_ , he thought as he jumped up the stairs towards the dorms. He almost felt like crying at the way he had been treated by Severus; Dumbledore he could understand but the way that he had reacted to the papers finding out about them, it was too sickening to think about. _But what if they_ do _find out?_ He wondered as he entered the dorm to, again, find it empty as he transformed and flopped onto his bed. He still had some time before dinner and was going to think about his dream.

He continued to think about it, about Severus even, for the rest of the week but in the weekend before school went back he requested the Highmaster's time regarding the procurement of another owl. He was still sore on this topic however and every time he thought about Hedwig he winced, trying to hold the tears back. He realized that Christian probably thought that he was a little nuts for talking to an urn full of ashes each night but in all honesty, he didn't care, he missed her and he was going to make sure her memory was honored. Though speaking of honoring her, she had undoubtedly spent the majority of her life in Harry's care at Hogwarts; he knew that once scattering her ashes he should do that at her _home_ , much like Hogwarts was Harry's home but even the thought of going back had past events flashing across his eyes.

 _["They're not just bracelets." He interrupted and Severus cocked his head to the side._

 _Harry was sitting on Severus's lap, the thick winter coat the man had given him for Christmas was open, exposing his bare chest as he was only dressed in his boxers._

" _They… uh how did he put it?" Harry said to himself as he tried to remember what the shopkeeper had told him._

" _Oh, yeah. So basically, these are brothers and when they are both worn create a means of communicating with each other." Harry started, looking off to the side as he tried to remember what they did.]_

Shaking his head, Harry bent down to pull his trunk from under his bed, opening it the silver caught his eye right away and he felt a deep ache in his heart. _No, this is his fault_ , Harry tried convincing himself and with a loud thump he slammed his trunk shut and stood, his destination the Highmaster's office to be escorted into Diagon Alley. He wasn't too sure how happy he truly felt about this, he knew he would see someone he knew, whether they were in his year or not, meaning that his sudden disappearance would be brought up again. Not to mention that Karkaroff only agreed to let Harry go in full Durmstrang robes, this was the blood red cloaks that clung to one side of his shoulder, matching red jersey with his black school pants all topped off with dragonhide boots. He didn't mind the robes, in fact he thought he looked rather striking in them, well Christian had mentioned this just before in the dorms, as he was getting ready. The teen was envious that he was allowed to leave, but it made sense for him to be allowed to shop for another owl.

"Come in." The thick voice rumbled through the heavy wooden doors and Harry pushed them open, walking into Karkaroff's office and standing in front of the man.

"You will stand at attention in front of me, Potter. You have Durmstrang standards to live up to whilst you are in Diagon Alley." He screwed his nose up at the name as if it was a disgusting word.

When they last spoke about this intended shopping trip, the Highmaster couldn't understand why Harry wanted to go into Diagon Alley when there was a perfectly good Wizarding centre in Bulgaria he could have gone to. Alas, Harry hadn't felt comfortable with such a notion, in hindsight he knew he should have just gone there, but he felt more comfortable going to Diagon Alley despite the fact he was going to create a stir. Anything that happened, he fully brought this on himself but he felt that he could handle it. _I am a Durmstrang boy,_ he told himself and almost sneered uncharacteristically, knowing that it had a positive effect on his Highmaster who stood there proudly.

"That's a boy. Now, I have asked Professor Daskalov to accompany you, he will be here momentarily." Karkaroff said gruffly and checked the time.

Harry knew he didn't tolerate tardiness, he had been at the receiving end of this a couple of times so he knew the rules. Daskalov however was not too far away indeed and he stood next to Harry in front of the Highmaster's desk awaiting instruction.

They were swiftly pushed towards the fireplace, which was big enough to fit at least four fully grown males for transporting, so stepping in together, he and his Potion's Professor disappeared in green flames and away from Bulgaria. Harry stumbled but was able to right himself with newfound grace as Daskalov stepped out easily, dusting himself down and addressing Harry with irritation.

"Lead the way, Potter. I want to be back prudently as I have things I need to attend to."

"Of course, sir." Harry replied with a slight bow and turned finding most of the Leaky Cauldron's occupants eyeing him warily but he brushed it off and stuck his chin out as he led them both to the entrance of the Alley.

This was the new Harry, the one who took no prisoners and who was creating his own spells. He felt confident, he now had a friend, _well associate at the least_ , whom he was able to speak and eat with at meal times. This Harry had essentially lost his innocence and practiced the Dark Arts, an activity that he hadn't realized caused a dark cloud to constantly hang over him; and quite literally as they stepped through the archway into the sunny Wizarding shopping lane.

Harry found himself almost squinting, _was it always this bright?_ He wondered as they took a few steps into the area. He looked up at the sky when he heard a low rumble of thunder and thought it odd, never remembering it ever raining there in all the times he had visited and thought there must have been a charm placed over it. How wrong he apparently was as he stepped further into the Alley.

He glanced behind him and snorted in mild amusement at his Professor looking so out of place. He scowled at anyone who dared to look at him, but then again they were kind of standing out, Harry in his full dress robes and a surly man who looked like he would disembowel anyone who came near. He turned back around and looked for the creature store but the bookstore caught his eye, so he slowed for Daskalov to catch up so he could speak.

"There's a couple of things I need to get from in here, do you mind, Professor?" Harry asked and stood ramrod straight as he addressed the man who was assessing him for a time before replying.

"I guess so, Potter but make it quick." He snapped suddenly and Harry nodded before darting inside, Daskalov following few steps behind.

There were a couple of people in the store, one of those a Gryffindor in the lower years whose face lit up when they made eye contact but Harry frowned at him before nodding and walking straight past him.

"Hello there," The shopkeeper said before addressing the man standing behind with a nod, "What can I do for you today?" He asked.

"I am looking for books on Dark Magic." Harry replied, tension in his jaw as he tried not to speak too loudly for the others around him to hear.

It wasn't that he was ashamed of asking, but he knew that Dark Magic was generally frowned upon in the Wizarding world, even though Durmstrang had it as a subject. He supposed in reality the class was taught to assist in their Defense classes but of course, Harry wanted it for another reason. A reason that he knew anyone from Hogwarts would be unhappy of.

"Of c-course, follow me if you will." The man said hesitantly before glancing at Harry's Professor who must have nodded.

One needed to be of age to access these kinds of books when purchasing them so he was obviously looking for assurance from the man escorting Harry. He wondered if the shopkeeper knew who his Professor was, but he didn't let that deter him as they were led to a secluded area of the store, one that had been roped off to stop underage Witches and Wizards from going into the corner.

Harry thanked the man before he started scouring the titles. He wasn't too sure what he was looking for but he guessed that if there was anything new and up to date in terms of spell creations and how to texts around different spell casting areas, it would be here. He found a couple of books but he wasn't sure if they would be much use at all so in his confusion he turned to his Professor and held them both out.

"And you want these because?" The man sighed.

Harry thought for a second, he didn't want the man to know what he was doing so he tried to think of a way to turn it around so that the man thought he was doing the opposite of what he really was. He told him that he wanted them so he could learn about ways to block unknown curses and spells, which made the man think for a second. Raising a hand to his chin, he scratched it absentmindedly before pointing to one behind him on the shelf.

"Neither, this will suffice." He said, grabbing it from the shelf and handing it to Harry before turning on his heel, stalking away into the main area of the shop.

Harry huffed and rolled his eyes but looked over the contents page and put the others back. _Yes, this will do nicely_ , he thought and read the cover, _"Defending Defenselessly"_. He raised an eyebrow at the cover, Wizarding books always had the weirdest titles imaginable, but he decided this was the one he wanted and he followed his Professor's path to the main part of the bookstore and handed the book over the counter. The shopkeeper looked skeptically at Harry and glanced over the ex-Gryffindor's shoulder before ringing it through and Harry paid for it.

"Much appreciated, sir." Harry said with a curt nod and turned to find his Potion's Professor.

What he hadn't expected to see however, were two Potion Professors engaging in conversation just by the door, his heart seemingly stopped beating in an instant and his mouth went dry.

 _No, not now._

Professor Daskalov must have been asked what he was doing in Diagon Alley, which was when he pointed to where Harry was standing, he snapped his mouth shut and tried his best not to look like a deer caught in headlights but truth was he hadn't expected run into this particular person. Soon enough, jaded eyes met chocolate brown and Harry felt as though everything else melted away, leaving just the two of them standing there staring at each other.

Harry couldn't bring himself to look away, the man was exactly the same, he hadn't changed one bit in the time he had been gone, although if he was honest the man looked a little tired but there were many plausible excuses for this so he didn't think on it further. However, Severus was reeling with the image currently engraving itself into his retinas; his Harry looked ill, sickly so, and he knew that instant that he hadn't been eating nor sleeping as he took in the sight of the dark circles reaching Harry's cheekbones. Harry had slimmed down, dangerously so and it concerned him greatly seeing the boy looking so malnourished. He also noticed something off about his ex-student; something he couldn't place immediately but there seemed to something different about his aura.

"Potter, hurry it. I don't have all day." Daskalov's voice snapped both of them out of their dazes and Harry made a move to step forward towards them both.

"Apologies, sir. I am ready." Harry said, his voice suddenly a little hoarse and it made him sound as if he was speaking in a monotone.

He tried to avoid Severus's gaze although he could tell the man's eyes were drilling holes into his skull but he couldn't trust himself to look up. Instead he powered on without stopping and brushed past them, making sure to only touch his _current_ Potion's Professor as to stop any immediate impulses he may have had if he touched is _ex_ -Potion's Professor. It was almost heart wrenching, but in his mind he kept telling himself that because of Severus he was now in this position, it helped only marginally but he was able to escape into the street without issues.

He didn't even stop for Daskalov and powerwalked with determination to the pet store to purchase his new owl, which was why he had come here originally. He shopped around for a little while but he couldn't seem to focus with Severus invading every thought that he had. He soon came across a jet black owl with the most haunting looking red eyes and he felt as though it suited him rather well, considering the owl's eyes were similar in colour to his dress robes that were currently being worn.

"Can I help you at all?" The lanky looking storeowner came towering over Harry and he had to look up to make eye contact with the man.

"Yes, I'll take this owl." He replied but the shop owner looked torn for a moment before he answered.

"Oh," He cleared his throat, "He's not the most desirable owl, lad, I've had a couple of issues with his previous owners." The store clerk was oddly cautious of selling the owl but Harry didn't care, he liked the look of this one.

"I don't care." He snapped, suddenly wishing he were back within Durmstrang's walls.

Eventually the shop owner agreed and pulled a gothic looking cage from out the back to place the owl into. Once payment had been made, Harry smirked at his purchase before walking outside and finding his Professor still speaking with Severus. He sighed, he didn't want to speak nor see the man and he certainly wasn't ready to be near him in a hurry. Certain memories were creeping into his mind and he tried shaking them off, they didn't seem right, something about them was so pure and he didn't like the feeling that they were giving him, so he tried to look elsewhere so he could occupy his mind.

 _Oh, Merlin's namesake is this Hogwart's day out?_ He asked himself as he saw Neville and his Grandmother walking towards him. He wished in this moment he knew how to Apparate or at least not have the birdcage so he could disappear in his Animagus form, but alas Neville had spotted him and came running over. He stopped a meter away from Harry as he seemed to hit an imaginary wall much to Neville's confusion, he hadn't realized his magic was so in tune wordlessly, he hadn't even known he'd cast a barrier around himself and now he looked a fool.

"Neville." Harry addressed with a curt nod and his ex-house mate stepped forward now that the barrier was gone.

"Harry, it's so good to see you. You left so abruptly, we never even got to say goodbye. How are you?" Neville asked, but even as he did, Harry could tell he was eyeing him up with slight concern if his facial expression was anything to go by.

"I am well, Neville and you?" He asked politely, wanting to get away quickly.

"I'm… Okay…" He said, staring at Harry now and it made him huff.

"Apologies, Neville, but I must go." Harry said suddenly, aware that his Professor was walking towards him and without a word uttered, the two walked towards the Leaky Cauldron.

Severus watched as Harry left. He hadn't uttered a single word to him and looking over to Mr. Longbottom, he surmised that the chat between the two Gryffindor's must have been brief. He knew Durmstrang was going to change Harry, however the extend to which this had occurred being in such a short time frame was mind blowing and he was convinced that Harry was a completely different person. What concerned him the most however, was his health, he looked dead on his feet and sick. He shook his head in disbelief, he wondered how Albus would think of his student knowing that he was looking like that, more importantly though was the fact that seconds after he watched Harry slip into the Leaky Cauldron, the clouds disappeared and the sun shone.

 _Harry is in trouble,_ he decided before heading back into the bookstore.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey readers. I'm sorry for not updating sooner, I'm just so swamped with my studying and internship at the moment. I hope this chapter is up to my normal standard, please let me know if you think it's crap. :)**

* * *

"How did it go?" Christian asked as Harry walked into the dorm.

"Well I got an owl." He replied shrugging and flopping onto his bed so he could begin reading the text he had just brought.

Christian didn't reply to Harry and he himself stretched out on his bed, casually watching Harry reading from the other side of the room. Harry knew he was but he tried to ignore it, it wasn't too big of a task as his mind was reeling from seeing Severus. _Neville will tell everyone too_ , he sighed but he was supposed to be a friend and if anything were said it would only be because he was concerned. _Severus was the one that got me into this mess_ , he sneered at the page as he thought this and slammed his book shut. Sitting up he frowned and looked into his lap, _but it was good to see him_ , he thought suddenly before looking up with conflicting eyes as he met Christians gaze.

"You okay?" The grey eyed teen asked and Harry shook his head.

"Met a couple of friends. It… I feel… Something doesn't feel right." He tried to articulate and stood up suddenly.

"Where are you going?" Christian called after him but Harry didn't turn around nor say anything, he just ran off, transforming into his Animagus as he did, not hearing the gasp from in his dorm as he sprinted on tiny legs down the corridor.

He came to an eerie part of the castle, away from any dorms and classrooms, a place where he had never really ventured to before. From his short height everything looked scary but at least he was feeling something other than the gut churning sensation that had his stomach in knots when he was in the dorm. He kept telling himself that Severus was the one to blame, that it was _his_ fault that their relationship got to what it was. He tried to feel the anger like he had so often in the past few weeks but all he could feel deep inside was an ache that was making it hard for him to breath.

He changed back into his human form and sunk to his knees, fisting his hands as they lay in his lap before the tears started rolling down his cheeks. He was hurt, he was bitter but above all he was disappointed with everything that had happened. He had been so sure about his feelings of hatred towards the Potions Master, though now he felt unsure, the feelings he had initially felt when he set eyes upon the man reminded him of when they first got together and the buzz that was created by it.

"What have I done?" Harry sobbed but his cries only got louder as despair coursed through his body.

"Potter?"

Harry's head whipped round and he stood, wiping the tears from his eyes as he spied his Dark Arts Professor. The man looked a little confused but his face was as hard as it usually was and it made Harry stop crying, taking some long deep breathes to get his breathing under control.

"Professor Daskalov mentioned his trip into Diagon Alley. Is this what has you upset?" He queried and walked forwards so they could have a relatively private conversation.

"N-Not exactly, sir." Harry stuttered out and the man looked at him in disbelief.

"He also mentioned about you purchasing a Dart Arts book. Your reasoning leaves much to be answered." Viktor noted, crossing his arms over his chest, his tone accusatory.

"You told me to grow a back bone, sir. I am trying to protect myself." Harry answered him truthfully and he observed the man as he nodded.

"Then shouldn't you be practicing rather than sobbing like a blubbering baby in an isolate corridor, hmm? I didn't think very highly of Hogwarts in the past, if you are as true to the school as you seem then I am very much disappointed, Potter. Perhaps Durmstrang Academy for boys is not where you should be, perhaps you should run back to Headmaster Dumbledore." Viktor's voice was hard and it hit Harry straight through the heart, thinking his Professor thought he was weak.

"I would if I could go back!" Harry blurted out before he thought and he slapped a hand across his mouth.

"Oh? Well if it's as bad as you make out…" He left the sentence hanging and turned away from the red eyed teen, smirking ever so slightly at the determined looked in Harry's eyes.

* * *

When school started back for their last term, everyone was in study mode with their impending examinations. Harry wasn't too worried about them, he had been studying hard over the holidays as well as perfecting a couple of his own spells. The run in he had had with Professor Viktor, ignited something within him, a certain passion, almost like running into him was a way to make him realize why he was there and what was important.

Revenge.

He smirked to himself between classes and in the Grand Hall for meals when the boys looked his way; he had a couple of spells up his sleeve and he wasn't afraid to put them in motion should the time come. For now though, he was going to keep to himself and as he made his way to the library after classes had finished he found Christian buried deep into his little corner with parchment laying everywhere.

Harry didn't say anything as he sat next to him and it was only a weak smile that Christian gave him in return, which was odd because he thought that the two of them were getting on pretty well as of late. He wanted to ask what was wrong but he didn't feel like it was the right time and he had loads of homework and essays to write for the next day, so he got straight to it.

By the end of the week, Harry was getting some glances from the other students but he couldn't work out why. He had been conscious of the fact that maybe he had had something on his face but after a quick dash into the bathrooms he saw that this was not the case so it left him wondering what he had done this time to attract attention to himself.

He had received an owl from his friends at Hogwarts; Hermione had voiced her concern about his health after Neville had apparently given them a run down of what had happened. He was going to reply though he was going to give it another few days so he could think properly about what to write back. He knew they had his best interests at heart when they fussed over him, but he had his own worries at the moment and as he walked into his Dark Arts class for one of their many practical lessons, Harry knew his willpower was going to be tested.

"Form your groups, you will be practicing today without the use of you wand _or_ words." Viktor bellowed before everyone rushed around to pair up.

Harry was made to pair up with one of his tormentors, the down side to having a group of bullies with an odd number, so they took to a side of the room each without their wands and Harry stared him down.

He could feel the spell coming towards him without seeing the flinch the boy made as he threw a curse over to him though it was easily deflected. This was something Harry was good at, he head read countless books about sensing and deflecting wordless and wandless spells, some books courtesy of this Professor but the others he had borrowed out from the library so this was an easy match for him. Unfortunately, a boy was propelled across the room without putting up a proper shield and smashed right into Harry, crushing him to the floor. Harry grunted in discomfort before getting up to stand and feeling a curse hit him in the shoulder, spinning him around with his arms flailing about as he connected with the floor again.

There were sniggers from close by as they saw this and it made Harry see red, so locking eyes with the boy he sent one of his newly developed curses towards him. Harry watched on with a mixture of awe and shock as he saw the boy grip onto his chest tightly and start pounding on it as he gasped loudly for air. This was the true workings of Harry's heart attack curse and he studied the boy who was now laying on the floor, huddled into a ball as he tried to appease the tightness in his chest.

There was a sense of pride that Harry felt, knowing that his spell had worked thought now the class were huddled around the boy, some trying to communicate with him and others looking around not really knowing what to do. Harry watched as Professor Viktor made his way through he crowd of boys and leant down so he could assess the teen's condition before hauling him up over his shoulder and locking eyes with Harry.

"The rest of class is dismissed. Use this time to study for finals." He barked before fleeing the classroom, a panicked boy on his shoulders who was raking his nails across the dark robes of his Professor.

The class, as one, turned to Harry and looked at him. He couldn't help but stand and stare back at them, waiting for someone to say something, or for someone to throw a curse at him but none came. They just stood in silence before Harry collected his things and left the classroom to find refuge in the library. He was glad to see that his roommate wasn't there and he used this time to examine how he felt about it all.

Meanwhile, in the Hospital Wing, Professor Viktor had just disposed of the struggling teen and had sought out their Medi-Doctor.

"A misdirected curse hit him in the chest, he will be fine in an hour or so." The man commented and the doctor nodded before seeing what he could do to make the student more comfortable.

 _At least I know it works,_ Harry thought as he sat in the library, _I hope he doesn't die.. Oh what have I done?_ He found himself being wound up and he pulled his notes out and scoured over them to check that everything was in working order and that he hadn't sent a curse that was actually going to kill the boy.

Suddenly he felt himself being encased with two arms that came to rest on the desk either side of him and he gulped when he heard the rough Bulgarian accent whisper hoarsely into his ear. He nodded his head at what the man asked before the arms disappeared and he was left to his thoughts, suddenly assured that he wasn't going to be expelled for killing a fellow student.

Later that night at dinner, the hall hushed as Harry entered and he made to walk over to his normal table when he spied Christian and a few boys sitting there with one seat spare right in the middle. He made a move to walk away when Christian hailed him over and he looked skeptically at the scene in front of him.

"Potter, I didn't know you were an Animagus. Is it really true?" A brown headed boy mused in awe as Harry approached and went to sit down.

"Uh…"

"That duel you had today with Crawdon was awesome, how did you know how to make him breathless? What spell did you use?"

"Uh…"

"Enough questions let the man eat." Christian butted in, as Harry looked at them all bewildered.

"What are they going on about?" Harry whispered to him as they were sitting next to each other.

Christian had the grace to blush a little and the red tinge to his cheeks made Harry gulp unexpectedly.

"I may have told them about your Animagus. Why did you not tell me about it sooner, it's very uncommon so you must be really powerful… Well, you have… You know." Christian trailed off, not wanting to say out loud what he and Harry had been working on for a good few months but Harry understood what he was saying.

"Yeah, do you think that I could learn? Is it easy?" Another boy who had a red-blonde hair colour piped up and it made Harry feel a little overwhelmed by the amount of civility occurring at his table.

"It's hard." Harry managed to say before everyone turned back to their meals, he had a funny feeling Christian had made a notion for them to quit the questions and for that he was grateful.

The rest of dinner was uneventful but when it came time to leave for the evening, Harry found himself surrounded by boys, some from his own dorm even, as he stood and left the hall. It was a weird feeling, were they accepting him as one of their own now? Were they just eager to get to know him? Or was there an ulterior motive for their kindness? He just couldn't tell so he decided to keep quiet until they made it to their dorm and some of the boys walked off to their own dorms.

He went to leave a couple of minutes later and found a couple of people coming with him so he turned to them and raised his voice. Some were a little surprised and others were put out by his words but the calm voice of his steely eyed friend gave him some time to escape the attention so he could have a shower and clean himself up for the night. However, he wasn't alone for long as Christian soon joined him and the teen was very eager to speak with him.

"What are you doing? I'm nak – "

"I'm sorry, Harry but I told one person and then they told another and another…" The boy cut Harry off and the ex-Gryffindor rushed to grab his towel off the peg to cover himself.

The two of them stood in the shower cubicle for a solid minute or so before Christian spoke again and he asked about what happened to the boy that he cursed.

"I don't know. Professor Viktor rushed him to the Hospital Wing." Harry lied, thinking back to when his Professor cornered him in the library asking if the curse would wear out, both of them relieved when Harry had nodded.

"Well I doubt you'll have people bothering you now." Christian offered but Harry looked at him in a dubious manner, he wasn't convinced but his roommate looked so positive of that notion.

"I wouldn't be so sure. I don't have any friends here, Christian." Harry then turned away shutting the water off as he realized there was no way he was going to have the rest of his shower.

"No friends?" He heard a choked out reply and when he looked back he could see the teen leaning against the partition of the cubicle and Harry frowned at him.

They weren't friends were they? Harry wasn't sure; _I mean he's been there for me… Then again he can be distant sometimes though…_ He looked over at the crushed teen and then slowly walked over to him, he felt kind of weird because he was only wrapped in a towel but he tried to get over it and comfort someone who thought they were friends.

"I'm sorry… I thought… We're friends then?" Harry stuttered and it made Christian look up, his eyes were tinged with unshed tears and it made the ex-Gryffindor feel terrible.

"I'm sorry, friend." Harry said this time, confidently and the sad eyes started to sparkle with happiness.

Harry was soon taken back when the boy lurched forward and gave him a hug, he wasn't used to this kind of treatment at the Academy and he dropped his clothes on the wet floor in surprise. Slowly, he put his hands around the other boy and they embraced in a long hug before Harry started to wriggle feeling very uncomfortable with this activity.

"Sorry." Harry said and Christian smiled before he blushed and told Harry he could finish off his shower.

"I'm sorry too, I'll see you back in the dorm."

"Yeah." Harry replied distantly as he watched the teen walk away before he pulled the curtain of the cubicle closed and restarted his shower.

* * *

It was Sunday morning at Hogwarts and the students of the school were busy feeding themselves with the wonderful bounty they had in front of them. Hermione didn't feel that cheerful however, sure they had their final examinations coming up and she was studying hard but she hadn't heard from her friend. She had started over thinking a lot and was sure that Harry was in trouble though she had no idea to the extent her friend had changed until an owl with jet black feathers and fiery red eyes landed in front of her and dropped a letter into her breakfast.

"Oi, shoo." Ron said trying to wave his hand at the owl but the bird simply snapped her beak at him and bit straight into his finger causing him to yelp and the closest students to turn and look.

"Ron…" Hermione said softly as she showed her friend the untidy scrawl on the front of the parchment.

"Harry?" He gasped and without any dignity what so ever he climbed up over the table so he could sit next to her.

"Mr. Weasely!" They both turned to the sound of their Head of House but neither of them cared as they ripped into the letter and started reading.

 _ **Dear friends,**_

 _ **I must apologise for the lack of communication between us, I have had a bit of an unsettling few weeks. You are probably wondering about the owl that sent this letter, careful, she bites, however she is my new owl. Hedwig died just over a month ago and I have only just now gotten round to purchasing a new one. If you get a chance, please apologise to Hagrid for me, it was his gift to me when I started at Hogwarts and a dear friend to him.**_

 _ **I suppose by now, Neville has mentioned running into me at Diagon Alley just the other week, it was definitely a surprise to see him there though you needn't worry about me. I am fine, I have friends here and I am studying hard for my final examinations.**_

 _ **I hope to see you after school finishes, I do not yet know what my living arrangements will be until my birthday, perhaps the two of you know anything of this?**_

 _ **I must go now; I have a practical lesson with my Dark Arts Professor.**_

 _ **Harry.**_

By the time they had both read the letter, Ron went straight ahead and re-read it, convinced that he had missed something seeing as Hermione was balling her eyes out. She then started to mutter something and when Ron looked over at her she was eyeing the head table with a passion like he had never seen before outside of studying and exam time.

"We need to say something." She said suddenly, standing and grabbing the owl by the legs so it was forced onto her forearm.

The owl wasn't happy about it and proceeded to snap at her but she sent it a dark glare, only then did it seem happy as they stalked to the head table where their Headmaster, Head of House and Harry's lover sat eyeing them suspiciously.

"Miss. Granger, Mr. Weasley?" McGonagall sounded surprised at the sudden appearance of her lions.

"I hope you're happy!" Hermione started, tears in her eyes as she stared down their Headmaster.

"Miss. Gran – "

"Harry's in trouble and this is all your fault! Here, this is Harry's new owl, Hedwig is dead and it's all because of those cannibals at Durmstrang Academy!" Hermione cut off her Transfiguration Professor and stuck her arm out so the owl could hop off and stand in front of all three Professors.

"I'm sorry, Miss. Granger, I cannot control the circumstances in which Mr. Pot – "

"Rubbish!" She snapped and then grabbed Ron's arm, storming down the isle of the Great Hall, all eyes on them as they watched the 'Goody-good Know-it-all' have a fit at their Headmaster.

She didn't let go of Ron's arm until they were back in the safety of the Gryffindor common room and it was there that Ron finally spoke, his shock of seeing his friend so livid wearing off so he could assess what just happened.

"What was that all about?" He hissed at her and she started to fall to her knees, tears slipping down her cheeks and face buried in her hands.

"Harry is in trouble, Ron. First Professor Snape develops a blistering mark on his wrist from those bracelets they both wear and now we learn that Hedwig died… How can you not see they are both related? Hedwig was obviously murdered."

"You're barking you know that?" Ron tried with amusement and sunk to the floor with his friend to try and comfort her.

The chatter in the Great Hall had risen again and this left the three Professors to think over what had just occurred. Severus was upset, he knew the girl was right and was starting to realize that maybe the death of his snowy white owl had something to do with the pain he felt whilst wearing the bracelet. He sighed as he absentmindedly ran his fingers over the piece of silver on his wrist, bringing the sleeve on his robes up to find the scars that had appeared once the burns had started to heal.

"She's wrong," Severus whispered and then turned to face his employer who turned his attention to the movement beside him, "It's all my fault." He finished and met sad blue eyes of the greying Wizard.

"My hands are tied, Severus." He replied to the comment and the Potion's Master nodded, standing with the pretense of going to his rooms and drowning in his liquor cabinet.

 _Harry forgive me,_ he thought sadly as he stared at the bottom of his whiskey bottle.


	7. Chapter 7

**#MyTrueSelf92:**

 **Thank you for your comment :) Unfortunately his graduation is still another year away so... You have a while to wait :P I have another couple of stories cooking but I'm going to finish what I have started first.**

 **#tay:**

 **Yes, happy ending is on it's way :)**

 **#Savannah:**

 **Apologies for getting you hooked. Be patient, I will have Harry and Severus back within in the same location soon... But will they get back together? Hmm, only time will tell.**

 **#Onyx Thanatos Theodore Lerins:**

 **Darling, patience.**

 **#scarlettmeadows:**

 **Reuinion will happen... But I can't promise it will be a happy one ;)**

 **#Snarry-Snermione-Hannigram-90:**

 **You know what, I actually hadn't thought of a name for the owl. What would _you_ like me to call her?**

 **#AlwaysAnAussie:**

 **Yes, I'm getting your reviews. Thank you x**

* * *

 **So I thought it was about time Harry went back to Hogwarts… I mean Harry's going into exams at the moment so just letting you awesome readers know that he will be heading back there very** _ **very**_ **shortly.**

 **:)**

 **You're welcome.**

* * *

After Christian's admission the night before, Harry woke the next morning feeling slightly more refreshed than he had since arriving at the Academy. He hadn't had a perfect sleep but he could feel a little more energy in his movements than previously, though when he stretched he could hear all the bones in his back cracking and it made him wince.

Making his way over to the showers, he found a lot more of the boys awake and he realized that he had woken a lot later than usual, it put him off a little because he was so used to his routine but never the less when he bumped into Christian he couldn't help but smile.

"Morning." The grey-eyed teen said as he walked out of his cubicle.

"Hey." He replied sleepily and received a pat on the shoulder as they crossed paths.

When Harry got to the Grand Hall, eyes turned towards him making the ex-Gryffindor frown, as he wasn't quite used to this level of attention, though he tried to ignore it as he went and sat next to his new friend and the other boys who had joined them this morning. There was a lot of hype with the new information about Harry's abilities, he hadn't even realized it was _that_ big of a deal but then again, only Hermione, Ron and Luna knew out of his friends and obviously some of the Professor's from Hogwarts as well.

"Potter, did you hear about, Crawdon?" One of the boys asked Harry and he turned his head to look at the boy, shaking his head not understanding what aspect he was talking about.

"Yeah, he had that heart attack right? Doctor Ivanov said he keeps having heart tremors, apparently they will stay with him forever." Another boy chimed in and Harry had to put his head to down hide his smirk.

He was more than a little pleased with himself, he had finally done something, some kind of payback towards the boys that had hurt him. It was comforting to know that he had created a successful spell and he risked a glance at his friend to find him looking a little smug himself but neither of them said anything as the rest of breakfast continued.

By the last class of the day, Harry was sitting in his Dark Arts class, Professor Viktor was starting the last piece of content that they would have a minor test on before the end of the year, and then be assigned related homework for the summer break. Harry was very intrigued by this new topic that they were covering as he had read a little bit about it in multiple dark books, however this topic was going to be the basis for some of their Defense work rather than the Dark Arts themselves. _Occlumency_ , Harry repeated in his head as he saw the writing on the chalkboard at the front of the classroom. It was certainly an interesting topic, though he was aware he had subject to this when he was with Severus even if it was to help him open up with the man. _No, he's the_ past, harry chided himself before tuning into what his Professor was saying.

"There are many uses for Occlumency and it's partner curse, Legillimency, they are the forms of memory charms and incantations that allows the caster to either see into some ones mind with or without them consenting as well as blocking those attacks from entering their minds. We will be focusing on Occlumency to begin with, this is the memory block, an image or a web, if you like that stops any intrusion to ones mind. I will warn you however, not many of you will walk away from the Academy when you graduate with solid memory blocks, though it should protect you from the likes of poor Legillimency casters in the future. Now, the block…"

Harry listened to the man speaking and got an idea of what the man was saying. _All I have to do is create an image, something that people don't like to see or will find scary to put them off…_ He noted down his thoughts in the columns of his Dark Arts textbook so he could go over them at a later date. This new magic was exciting and he couldn't wait to start practicing but he still needed to ensure he kept his other classes up to date with studying so he could pass them well. He wanted to prove himself against the other boys and whilst he was confident about this, he didn't want to get complacent and he knew that this Occlumency work was going to be at the forefront of his mind. _Imagine if someone found out about Severus and I,_ he thought suddenly and he paled before anger flushed through his veins. That was one secret he certainly wanted to keep from everyone else, something that he believed he could purge from his mind once he had mastered this magic.

Once class had finished, Harry quickly packed up and made his way to the library, Christian was already there when he arrived and he set out his books before the boy turned to him.

"How was class?" He asked.

"The same, though we started on Occlumency today." Harry replied and the boy looked thoughtful for a moment.

"That might be best." He commented and Harry frowned at him.

"What do you mean?" The ex-Gryffindor questioned him.

"Well… You know… About Crawdon and that, the last thing you want to happen is people to find out the truth."

"You've changed your tune." Harry snapped back taking the grey eyed boy by surprise, "And besides, who's going to find out if we don't tell them?" He whispered back but then noticed that Christian was blushing.

"What have you said and to whom?" Harry interrogated, pulling the teens shoulder so they were facing each other this time.

"N-No one… Well, Viktor asked me about it after class this morning."

"What?!" Harry hissed and went to pack up his books.

"No, wait!" Christian tried to stop Harry from leaving but he was simply shrugged off.

On his way to find an empty classroom, Harry was muttering and cursing to himself, _I knew I shouldn't have trusted him, I had even sworn not to trust anyone and now look what has happened… Is no one safe to trust anymore?_ He wondered as he stormed down the corridors.

"What's the hurry, Potter?" A familiar aggressive voice called from up the corridor and Harry stewed even more when he came face to face with Goyle and a couple of burly boys that Harry had seen only a couple of times before.

Harry huffed at them and barged past only to feel a hand on his upper arm and was spun round before being pinned to the wall by the throat. He growled at them, his books and bag falling with a clatter to the floor as the boys crowded around him. He wasn't scared per say but he was annoyed beyond belief, he just wanted to be able to walk these corridors without anyone interrupting him or calling him out. He knew he had to do something and the fact that Goyle was a fellow ex-Hogwarts student didn't faze him in the least as he scowled at the situation earning a round of laughter from the other boys.

"You know, Potter. Malfoy may be a weak and pathetic excuse for a Wizard and let's not forget you are too," At this the others started jeering, "But I've wanted to get you back for a long time. You got me expelled half-blood, you brought shame to my family because you ratted us out."

"Should have been smarter then, Slytherin's supposedly are." Harry said in a strangled voice before yelping at the sudden pain shooting through his stomach as a punch was laid.

"You won't be getting away this time, Potter. Snape and Dumbledore aren't here to save you today – "

"No, just me." Harry choked out gruffly before Goyle started to wheeze, stumbling back and clutching his throat and falling to his knees.

The boys started to edge away from the situation and Harry slid down the wall, massaging his neck as he watched the scene unfold. Goyle was visibly starved of air, his eyes wide and face filled with panic as he struggled to get precious oxygen into his lungs. He was completely at Harry's mercy and he stood, making his way over to the ex-Slytherin so he could stand in front of him.

"I was a different person back then," Goyle looked up, panic in his eyes, "Cross me again and I won't be so kind." He whispered before taking the curse off the boy just before he was about to pass out.

"The rumors are true then…" Goyle rasped out as he got to his feet mid crawl to sprint off down the corridor.

The other boys had run away long before this point and Harry smirked as he went over to the wall to pick up his books and bag so he could continue his journey down the cold corridor which created a tight funnel; for the wind that had suddenly picked up to whistle down carrying with it droplets of rain as a booming sound of thunder cracked across the sky.

* * *

Occlumency was difficult, far more complicated than Harry could have imagined and he could understand more than ever why his Professor thought none of them would be competent when they left. Currently though he was sitting in the Grand Hall with his new crowd for breakfast the next day, he wouldn't consider these boys friends, though Christian was in his bad books with him blabbing to their Professor about what he had been doing. The teen was sitting a couple of tables away but Harry didn't pay him any mind as he finished dinner and left the hall for class, his followers not too far behind.

After what had transpired the day before, Harry was getting some wary looks from the other students, he had a feeling that the only reason why he now had a crowd of boys hanging around him were because they were just worried he would turn on then. He didn't exactly mind though, they always meant he could be focusing on something else like his homework without the interruption of the others boys harassing him or distracting him.

A couple of weeks later, the boy that Harry had cursed was finally let out of the hospital wing and more rumors surfaced about the ex-Hogwarts student. They ranged from Harry becoming a Dark Wizard and taking the dark mark to stories about how Harry was physically abused and was now out on a rampage to pay those back who had cursed him. The one about the abuse had hit him hard at the beginning but he was able to tell himself that no one actually knew the truth about his past. Considering what he had been through emotionally this year alone it was a surprise that he hadn't cracked before now, so in his mind it was justified the way he was acting. He couldn't believe he'd let himself be walked all over before now, be it Tony, Severus or Christian.

Something that was new to note however, to do with Christian, was the fact that he was now absent most nights just on curfew and wouldn't return until very late. He hadn't really paid much attention to it when he first arrived at the academy but he had wanted to corner to the boy and speak with him, he couldn't really afford to have no friends there when there was one willing to be close with him. The crowd didn't count; he would never trust any of them anyway. He wasn't going to apologize for snapping at him though, he just wanted to speak with him and clear the air, maybe get an understanding of why he would confide in their Professor, especially when it was a dark path he was heading down.

After Harry's last class one Friday we had waited until all the other students had left so he could ask Professor Viktor a question, it wasn't particularly major but it did have something to do with the exams, so he walked up to the front of the classroom where his Professor was standing imposingly to ask. He told Harry to take a seat and he came and sat next to the teen at one of the desks, not really thinking much of it as he went to open his book where he had found something that was unclear to him. They had been sitting there for a good fifteen minutes when Christian opened the door and both Harry and his Professor turned to see who it was, though he still wasn't really talking to Christian at the moment and it seemed that his Professor didn't want anything to do with him either.

"S-Sorry, Professor, I didn't realize you were busy… I-I'll come back." Christian stuttered and when Harry turned back round to see what had the boy in such a state he noted that his cheeks were flushed and was avoiding eye contact.

"Like I said, Potter, the use of this curse and its counter curse should be used only in specific situations. Over use will not only tire yourself out but it will also have lasting effects personally." Viktor said and Harry nodded.

After having his answer he thanked the man and was about to get up when he felt a hand on the back of his chair and he saw his Professor sitting causally next to him, an odd look on his face. He was going to question the man to ask if he was alright but thought better of it and went to stand, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

"Again, sir. Thank you." Harry said and then went over to the door when Viktor's words stopped him.

"If you feel that coming up to exams you need somewhere quiet to study, you may always come in here or use the other desk in my office." His voice was oddly less gruff than it had been.

"Oh, uh thank you, sir. I will consider it." Harry replied quickly before darting out into the corridor to find Christian standing there shivering in the cold weather.

Harry didn't really know what to make of all this, people just seemed to be acting suspiciously off around him lately and he was confident that it wasn't to do with his new abilities. He eyed Christian warily as the boy was doing the same to him and he sighed, raking a hand through his hair before walking over to him.

"I'm sorry for snapping." Harry said quietly as he stood less than a meter away from his _friend_.

There was a tense moment when he didn't get a reply but he didn't feel like he should have had to say anything else so he just stood there waiting. At last he was looked in the eyes and Christian smiled a little before rushing forwards and giving Harry a hug. It took him by surprise but then the feeling caught up with him and he could sense warmth growing in his chest, his somewhat friend was back.

"I guess I should apologize as well. I know that _this_ is your thing so I shouldn't have said anything, but – "

"O'haragh, did you want to see me or not?" It was Viktor's cold and callous voice calling from behind them and Harry gave Christian a small smile before walking off towards the library, his Professor's offer not too far from his mind.

After dinner, Harry went in search of his friend in his Animagus form so that he could wander about anonymously, though it was still rather scary being so small in a place so large. It took him about an hour but he found the boy huddled in the library with his nose buried in a book but on closer inspection he could hear him crying so he padded closer and went to jump on the chair beside him so he could get onto the desk. It seemed to distract Christian for a moment and the teen looked a little bewildered and hesitant when he laid eyes upon _Jade_ 's form so looking around Harry made sure there was no one looking and changed back so he could sit next to his room mate to ask if he was alright.

"What's wrong? Did Viktor say something, is that why you didn't come to dinner?"

"It's nothing, really. He just said some things and it hurt me… No big deal. I just need help with this one spell that I _know_ will be in the exam but I can't get it right." Christian explained so Harry took his book and had a read of it, he had mastered this weeks ago so he went about explaining it to the teen.

"How about we practice it tomorrow after classes or dinner? Whenever you are free." Harry offered but he could see his hesitance before he was given an answer.

"Oh, no that's okay Harry. I think I'll be able to do it." He smiled weakly and then yawned, saying that he was going to bed.

Harry couldn't really argue with this and they set about heading back to the dorm, Christian asking him questions about his Animagus form. The ex-Gryffindor was happy to explain a couple of things but he could sense there was something his friend wasn't telling him. He didn't know what it was but he was certain it had something to do with their Dark Art's Professor, Harry got the feeling there was something he was missing when it came to the man. The way he always seemed to be around, almost like he was following him and even when Christian had interrupted. Something wasn't right.

 _I don't even know why I'm bothering with all this_ , he berated himself after lights out, he had his exams to worry about, his friends to write to back at Hogwarts and his own spells to create, not to mention his fascination around Occlumency and Legillimency to appease. It was then, an hour later after lights out that he heard movement on the other side of the room and he saw a figure, most likely Christian, moving by the bed and the door opening as the figure slipped out into the main dorm corridor. _Odd_ , Harry thought as he contemplated getting up and following. _I'm not at Hogwarts anymore, don't be stupid_ , he continued before rolling over and trying to get some sleep, he had a big day as it was a Saturday and it was going to be filled with studying.


	8. Chapter 8

**.**

 **#TheCauldron:**

 **I feel for that bowstring, you're probably going to have a heart failure by the end of this cahppie :P**

 **#pheonix-rob:**

 **What _is_ going on with Christian? Hmm, you'll just have to read on unfortunately ;)**

 **#Onyx Thanatos Theordore Lerins:**

 **Hmm, I kind of love naive Harry... Something about it x**

 **#AlwaysAnAussie:**

 **You will have your Snape, believe me, you will... But just not yet. Yes, Christian is intriguing... Is it too cliched what I'm about to do? Who knows, read on :)**

 **#AnimeMandi22:**

 **And as always, I love your feedback :) I hope this chappie doesn't disappoint x**

 **#tay:**

 **I wanted to add him in there, but I feel he's just a passing character. Who knows... You want some more Draco?**

 **#SeverusSnapeLover1390:**

 **Honestly, I had writers block haha. I hope this chapter is better for you :)**

* * *

 **As always my lovelies, enjoy.**

 **xxx**

* * *

The following day, Harry saw that Christian's bed was empty and he frowned at it before he got ready for the day. He had too much else to worry about without being too concerned about his friend who was probably already up in the library studying so he was going to follow suit and seek him out. He had decided in the middle of the night when he woke to write to his friends back at Hogwarts, he hadn't heard from them in a while and he was curious to know how they were getting along though admittedly he didn't really have much he wanted to say. Actually, now that he thought about it they hadn't returned his letter from weeks ago.

Shuffling around in his trunk for some spare parchment he stumbled across his wand holster. Hagrid had given this to him for his birthday and he hadn't even thought of wearing it, _this could have been really useful_ , he sighed to himself before pulling it out and putting it on top of his bed, he was going to strap it on today and silently vowed he wouldn't take it off. He was successful in finding a piece of parchment and stood to grab his bag and holster, before making his way towards the Grand Hall for breakfast.

He was surprised to see that Christian wasn't there but he sat down and pulled out a quill so he could jot down a note to his Hogwarts friends as he chewed away on a piece of toast. He tried to block everything else out as he wrote, there was a dim chatter around that after a few minutes escalated and he realized his group of followers had joined him. He quickly put his letter away, he didn't want the others to see what he was writing, it wasn't anything too private but he just didn't trust them if he was honest.

"Potter! You want to come out for some Quidditch?" One of the sandy haired boys called from down the table and it made him look up.

"Uh, thanks but not today. Have to study for these exams." He replied automatically and he heard the rest of the group hum in agreement.

Soon he was being followed by a large group of boys to the library, some yelling that they would catch up because their gear was back in the dorms. He sighed as he made his way in front of the others towards the library, he had hoped for it just to be he and Christian who would be studying together and not half of the school just because they wanted to look good in front of someone who could essentially physically destroy them.

It was all right at first and Harry managed to focus on his Charms and Transfiguration homework before he was going to start on the actual studying for his exams. He was a little gutted that his friend wasn't in the library, he was actually at a lose as to where the mysterious boy was because he had now been missing in action for a good twelve hours by this stage without any hint that he was okay. He looked up and around the library thinking that he may have snuck in but Harry couldn't see him and made eye contact with one of the other boys who smiled and then asked him a question.

"Hey, do you know about these?" He asked, pushing his Potions book towards Harry and pointing out an ingredient.

Of course he knew about this plant, it created relaxing properties if brewed right but if it was boiled too much, gave off a toxic odor and would eventually poison the person ingesting or applying it to the skin. He told the boy this and he looked over the moon before thanking him and turning back to his work. It felt strange for Harry to be in such a civil manner seeing as most of these boys in the start had ridiculed him. He was still wary around them but over the past week or so they hadn't really done anything for him to be afraid of, though now he sat there with two other boys shoving books under his nose asking for help.

 _So much for a quiet study session_ , he thought getting irritated but he answered their simple questions anyway and went back to his own work. He now fully believed he knew how Hermione had felt when both he and Ron asked her questions in exam time, how she hadn't gone ballistic at them he didn't know because all he wanted right now was a quiet place to study. _Perhaps I should take Viktor's offer up,_ he wondered as he was nudged in the elbow by one of the boys sitting next to him.

"… So, how would _you_ start it?" He asked and Harry had to roll his eyes.

"Look, with all due respect, it's not my homework so can you not work it out for yourself? It's actually a rather simple task that you're asking for help on." The ex-Gryffindor replied stiffly and set about putting his things away.

"Potter, I'm sorry I-I didn't mean to – "

"Save it." Harry said interrupting him and turning sharply on his heel to make his way out of the library.

He was going to see his Professor out.

When he arrived at the man's office, he realized that the man, seeing as it was the weekend, probably wasn't going to be there but he knocked anyway, standing patiently with his bag thrown over his shoulder. He didn't have to wait long and the door was wrenched open, a snarling man that was Professor Viktor standing there with a powerful aura. However once he set eyes upon the scrawny teen his features somewhat _softened_ , though Harry would rather claim that he was seeing things and that this man, much like the Hogwarts Potion's Professor, didn't possess any true feelings during the day.

"My apologies, sir. I-I thought that maybe I could take you up on that – Agh." Harry was pulled through the door and he had to work on not losing his balance and toppling to the floor.

"Your ability to dawdle and dribble about unintelligible nonsense astounds me. You may use that desk there." He barked and it was there that Harry saw Christian sitting at a long table that had enough room for two.

When their eyes met, Christian looked hurt and skeptical at his presence, which the teen found odd. _This is where he has been?_ Suddenly feeling slightly uncomfortable in this environment he took a seat beside the boy anyway and gave him a sideways look.

"Have you been here this whole time?" Harry whispered but heard a clearing of a throat and met the eye of his Professor who was sitting behind his desk.

"Zip it or get out." The man said gruffly and Harry nodded before turning back to his work.

He started out with his Potion's theory but soon grew restless, the subtle looks he was getting from both the other occupants in the room was starting to get to him and he could tell from his own glances at Christian that his cheeks would flush every now and then. It was making Harry's stomach knot unsteadily as the tension in the room escalated. He sighed, it was time to finish off his letter to his friends, he was sure Christian wouldn't go snooping on his writing so he pulled out the piece of parchment and continued to write.

 _ **Hermione, Ron,**_

 _ **It's been too long since I've written. I don't actually know what to say to really but I want to know what life is like back home. I miss you both greatly but I know, Hermione, you'll be happy to note my studying patterns match yours over the years. It's hard when you start to know more than everyone around you… I guess I should apologise for hounding you all these years (I'll also apologise on Ron's behalf).**_

 _ **The student population has figured out my cat form too, it was an interesting development because now they all treat me as some God. I'm not the biggest fan of all this attention, I know that Malfoy and Goyle aren't happy over this and they have voiced this over the last couple of weeks. I'm okay though, I just wish I was back at Hogwarts.**_

 _ **Please write back soon, I would understand if you don't reply.**_

 _ **Yours,**_

 _ **Harry**_

He finished off the letter and rolled it up before putting it back in his bag. There really wasn't much to report on and he knew that Hermione wouldn't have much time like himself with all the studying that would be going on. Oh how he truly did miss them, but it was only his friends, there was absolutely no one else that he missed, no one. It was of course a lie, one person kept springing to his mind on occasion and he hated himself for it, it was his fault, _his_ , that Harry was now in this position. Or so he still told himself.

"I'll see you later, Harry." He heard Christian saying from beside him and he nodded before frowning at his friends' aura.

"You okay?" Harry asked but he was given a small smile, the gaze flicking from Harry to Viktor and back to Harry again.

"Of course, I need to go find Professor Daskalov." He replied absent-mindedly before he turned and excused himself from the room.

Once the door was shut, Harry felt the room temperature change dramatically and the energy escalated. He turned and locked eyes with his Professor, the man was looking at him with an odd expression, making Harry look away, a familiar feeling pooling in his stomach and he looked down at his work wide eyed. _You're imagining it_ , Harry told himself and found his heart beat erratically skipping every four or so pumps.

He swallowed and moved so he could bend down and get the wand holster from his bag. He was getting the feeling that it would be very beneficial to start wearing it, he didn't know what was giving him this feeling but it was there and he wanted it gone. _I wish Christian was still here,_ he thought as he pulled out the leather strapping and placed it on the desk. His Professor had moved on from staring at him and was now shuffling through some papers on his desk which made Harry feel a little better about the situation.

It was short lived however when he had rolled his sleeve up and was having issues fastening the holster, the buckles were hard to secure when you were doing it to yourself so he was struggling a little. That's when he looked up and saw Viktor moving across the room towards him, the man's eyes shining with something amusing and Harry suspected that he was being laughed it.

"Potter, you are a disgrace." He snarled before sitting at the chair Christian had vacated previously.

"Y-You don't have to, sir, I can do this later." Harry tried and pulled his arm away only to find a clammy hand gripping his wrist tightly, not allowing him to get away.

"I would hate for you to get this tangled. I know how clumsy and weak you can be." Viktor teased and Harry could feel his anger bubbling away.

 _How dare he, I know he's not a nice person but this is just ridiculous,_ he thought as he watched the bulky fingers working away at the buckles and testing the tightness of it once he was done. Harry went to pull his arm away and started to thank the man before the grip was tightened and he met his Professor's eye. Unfortunately he felt his face starting to blush as he noted how close they were and he was not surprised to see a sneering smirk plastered on the man's face in front of him.

"Thank you, sir." Harry finally managed to spit out and went to turn his body away so he could go back to studying.

He heard a huff from beside him before the man stood and made his way back over to his own desk, the mood in the room lifting tenfold and Harry let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding during this whole process. As bizarre as the whole thing had just been, once the man was back over at his desk Harry had to scoff at himself, there was no way this sort of thing would happen to him twice in two different schools. There was just no way. No way at all…

He let his head drop on the table before he fumbled around to adjust his sleeves to cover the holster, he had work to do and it wasn't going to finish by itself. He was going to utilize this quiet time he had before the chaos of going into classes over the next few weeks before their study leave.

* * *

By dinnertime that night, Harry found Christian sitting alone in a corner of the Grand Hall, his plate empty and his posture slouched. He walked over to the boy and sat down, he perked up a little but there was something on the teens' mind, something Harry was determined to figure out so he could have his mysterious friend back.

"Hey, where did you go this morning and why weren't you in the dorm last night?" Harry decided direct was best.

"Oh, you know… Just had loads to do."

"That's all right, I'll come with you though next time yeah? Those boys over there are extremely distracting." He whined and Christian nodded before glancing to the front of the room.

"What's with Professor Viktor?" Harry blurted out suddenly and grey eyes whipped round to lock onto jaded green ones, "Just wondering." He added when he saw the wary look.

"I was in detention. He caught me out of bed last night." Was the reply and the ex-Gryffindor narrowed his eyes at the boy, it sounded like something he would have done back at Hogwarts.

"Why did you leave the dorm? I've never really noticed you leaving before now, do you do it often?" Harry asked as he put a little bit of food on his plate, suddenly not very hungry.

"I like to walk around. By myself." Was the reply and Harry nodded, he knew he wasn't going to get anything else out of him so he decided to distract him.

"I, uh, need to practice my Dark spells that we'll be tested on. Want to practice with me?" Christian nodded hesitantly but turned towards him and smiled weakly.

 _Odd,_ Harry thought but returned the smile as he stabbed a potato with his fork.

The conversation was basically over between them after this and it got Harry thinking, the boy had been so eager to help him learn Dark magic when they first started talking but now it was almost as if he was being avoided. _Why would he avoid me? He doesn't look his normal self, though I'm not sure what his normal self would be like… He looks sad_. His internal monologue went unnoticed by the one sitting next to him but when his gaze landed on the surly man at the front of the room he was sure it had been noted.

"I'm going to get a head start unless you want to join me?" Harry asked and the teen nodded as they both stood, leaving the Grand Hall together.

"So what did you want to do first?" Christian asked and Harry had an idea.

"Actually…" He paused and this caught the attention of his friend, "I was thinking that we could work on some of _my_ Dark spells?" He continued and he saw the steely eyes sparkle just a little though his face said otherwise.

"Oh." Was the reply before Harry clarified what he had meant.

"There's this one I've been working on, it slices the skin across the arms and chest but I don't think I've got the right elements. I was hoping that I could teach it to you?" Harry spoke quietly as they found an empty classroom close to the dorms.

"Oh, then sure. Why didn't you say so?" Christian replied enthusiastically and it made Harry smile, he had found what the boy was interested in and with the promise of teaching the spell to him it seemed he was opening up.

They spend the next couple of hours working on the new spell as well as their Dark Arts class work for the exam when the clock chimed to remind them that it was curfew. Harry was sweaty from the workout as was his friend so they walked back to the dorms where they snagged a quick shower before tucking down into bed. Harry hesitated as he settled under the sheets, he was interested to see if the teen was going to duck out of the dorms again like he had the night before but he was too tired to try and stay awake. He was just going to have to deal with it in the morning if he wasn't there, after all it was Saturday night so it wasn't too much of an issue if he didn't see the teen at all the next day.

Harry woke a couple of hours later, his sleeping patterns still not having improved as the littlest sound would catch him and he'd wake up. When he moved his head he saw a figure walking towards the door and he squinted his eyes, making out the distinctive form of his friend. As tired as he was from the studying and spell practicing he wanted to see where the boy was going, no one else ever left the dorm at night, only Christian, so once the door was closed he ripped the covers off and changed into his Animagus form once he'd opened the door a little, he was going to follow him tonight.

Once outside he turned his little grey head this way and that to catch the sound of someone walking down the corridor. His ears picked up a sound to his right, so staying as close to the wall as he possibly could, he quickly and quietly sprinted down the hall to catch sight of the boy walking up some stairs. He inwardly groaned to himself, he hated the stairs when he was in his form, they always were so complicated to work out when you had four tiny legs to coordinate and Harry Potter was not a particularly coordinated person even on the best of days.

Once he made it up the stairs, he glued his body up against the wall when he heard another set of footsteps coming from behind him. He looked on in almost disbelief when he saw who it was and he turned his head back to see that Christian had turned around as well and was looking at the approaching Professor.

"Mr. O'Haragh." The voice echoed off the walls but the boy didn't look worried at all, he was actually smiling.

"Sir, looks like I've been caught out after curfew again." The teen's voice was uncharacteristically low and if Harry was honest, a little smug.

"That you have been. Come." Professor Viktor snapped before turning around and walking back where he came from, Christian following closely behind.

Harry couldn't really understand what he'd seen, why was his friend so happy to be caught out of – _He wouldn't!_ Harry's thoughts brought his reality crashing down around him and he let a mewling gasp escape before he realized that the other two occupants in the corridor had disappeared around a corner. His Gryffindor traits kicked into hyper drive with this information and he sprinted off after them, he had to find out what was going on.

The group came to a familiar corridor, even from Harry's height, as he recognized it as the Dark Arts and Defense Against wing of the school. Though Christian and their Professor didn't go into the classroom, nor the man's office, they continued down the corridor to a part of the castle Harry recognized at the one he had a mental break down in. _No wonder Viktor found me, he must have heard me crying,_ he thought as he watched them stop by a door and it opened. He was in two minds about whether he wanted to know what they were going to do, but he crept up towards the door trying to look inconspicuous even though Christian would have recognized him anyway if he were to turn around at this moment.

"Get in." Viktor hissed at the grey eyed boy and shoved him through the door before glancing down the corridor.

Unfortunately, as he did he set his beady eyes upon Harry and the jaded eyes widened slightly before he stuck his nose to the floor in a desperate attempt to act naturally as a cat would do in this situation. He didn't dare look up as he heard the door close and went to the other side of the wall, pretending to sniff along the edges before he moved his head upwards and towards the door. He wanted to know why his friend was in the man's living quarters, well he didn't know for sure that they were his personal quarters but when Harry but two and two together it almost made sense.

 _I wonder if that's what he meant by detention…_ Harry stared at the door for a long time before he decided to wander back towards the dorm. His curiosity had been sated but now he had more questions than answers for his friend, he tried to deny what he truly thought was happening, there wasn't two people in this Wizarding Community that were in a relationship with their Professors… _What are the odds?_ He asked himself as he turned a corner away from that corridor.


	9. Chapter 9

**I am going to apologise in advance. Please do not hate me…**

* * *

Harry didn't see Christian the next morning and it didn't look like he had been back either as his bag was still on the floor by his bed. Harry tried not to dwell on this though and packed his own bag, securing his wand in the arm holster before he left for another day of studying.

He was sitting in the hall for breakfast and decided that before he left for the library to study, he would go and send the letter to his friends. It was times like these, like the whole damn year, that he wanted his friends by his side and it was a depressing thought. He sighed and raked a hand through his hair as he sat with an empty plate, his stomach growling but not being able to force himself to eat anything. He longed for the security his friends brought and the security that Severus had even provided for him.

 _Gah, stop torturing yourself!_ He berated as he stood suddenly, the plate catching on his clothing and making a clattering noise as it was thrown backwards. His outburst had caught the attention of the boys around him and when he made his way over to the door, he bumped into the very Professor he had been thinking of going to see again for the quiet study space. They looked at each other, the teen thought quite awkwardly, before he kept moving towards the doors and out into the corridor.

Making his way up to the owlery, Harry took a deep breath and tried to calm his rapid heartbeat, since when it had started speeding up he had no idea. The mornings were getting slowly warmer as Spring approached though it was only when one went outside the castle or up into the higher levels that this became obvious. Once he reached the owlery he smiled warmly at his new owl, she wasn't Hedwig by any stretch of the imagination but the fact that she had chosen him out off all her other owners gave him comfort and a little sense of pride. Perhaps his Animagus abilities were rubbing off on other animals, maybe they were becoming closer because he was part animal in a way as well?

"Send this to Hermione Granger at Hogwarts School." He said to her softly before she hooted and disappeared out of the rafters.

On his descent into the castle he bumped into Christian who was walking towards him.

"Hey." Harry greeted and the boy smiled, blushing a little before he returned the greeting.

"I was just heading to the library, are you going there too?" Christian asked but Harry had intended to go and see Professor Viktor for a quiet study space.

"Sure, I was going to see how busy it was anyway." Harry replied and they walked off down the corridor.

The ex-Gryffindor wanted to ask his friend why he'd left last night, he wanted to know very badly and was itching to utter the question, _why did you go to Viktor's private rooms?_ But he resisted the urge as they entered the library. He had to roll his eyes at the group of his followers who were sitting there with a space saved for him but looked away when they saw that he was with someone else.

"You know what, I might go and find somewhere a little quieter." Harry said as he looked over at them warily and Christian looked back towards the door before offering to sit with him in a classroom.

"Oh no, that's okay. I think you need some space anyway." Harry commented offhandedly and he saw the confused look from the grey-eyed boy as he turned around and walked out of the room.

Christian was by his side in a second and demanded to know why he would think that. Harry thought for a second before deciding he was going to have to say something about what he saw but he knew that a story would be told, it was in that moment that Harry realized the absurdity of his relationship with Severus, well _Professor Snape_ , Hermione had been right to have been worried if his pathetic lies were anything to go by. Christian was looking at him hotly, something in his eyes was telling Harry that something was indeed going on, so he took a quick peek around them to make sure no one was looking before he hauled him down a few meters and into a classroom.

"I followed you last night." Harry started off saying and the blood seemingly drained from the teen's face when he realized he been caught going into their Professor's quarters.

Of course Harry was waiting for the denial, he knew this process too well, being involved with a teacher himself once upon a time.

"I don't know what you're going on about. I had detention last night because I was caught after curfew."

"So you admit to being out? I was there, Christian, I saw you and I could see your expression as well as his last night. I've got a fair idea of what's going on and you have to stop." Harry demanded but his friend wasn't buying it at all.

"You're delusional. You know I think that Dark magic has gone to your brain because that's an outrageous claim."

"What claim am I making?" Harry countered, he hadn't actually said directly that he thought the boy was in a relationship with a Professor, he only implied it because a guilty mind would always come up with an excuse, an innocent mind would be genuinely confused.

His attempt at catching the teen out had worked and now Christian was blushing and adverting his eyes. It appeared that he wasn't the best at hiding his emotions and an idea suddenly cropped into Harry's mind but he knew that it would effectively destroy their friendship if he invaded the boy's mind. He simply sighed instead and shook his head before looking at the closed door as he thought about what to say next, he didn't want to push him away, he just didn't want anything to happen because he knew how it was going to end. Badly. Karkaroff didn't seem the type to brush things under the carpet and pretend like they weren't happening unlike Albus Dumbledore.

"What are you going to do?" Christian suddenly asked in a flustered voice.

Harry shook his head again, he wasn't going to go and rat on the boy because then he would be seen as the biggest hypocrite in the world, both Wizarding and Muggle. He just shrugged and picked his bag up off the floor, he needed to go and study though the prospect of going to see the very Professor that was in the middle of all this wasn't exactly something he was looking forward to. If he was honest though, he thought that maybe going to see the man was the best thing, he was already involved with a student so he wasn't about to go and start something with another was he?

His mind made up he said he was leaving to study and promptly left the room, shrugging off any attempts Christian made to make him stop.

When he arrived outside Professor Viktor's office, he knocked steadily on the door and wasn't surprised to see it wretched open before the figure stepped aside to let him through. They didn't say anything to each other and Harry made his way over to the desk he had occupied the previous day, only glancing up at his Professor when he was seated before sticking his nose into his study material.

* * *

Monday morning came and Hermione was digging around in her bag for the book she wanted to read the at the breakfast table. She was thoroughly pissed at her red headed friend, he was being his usual self when it came to exams and a high homework load but this time she was refusing to help him at all. It might have had something to do with the fact that she was worried about Harry and as stubborn as she was, claimed that their Durmstrang friend didn't have anyone to help him through exams. After a lot of groaning and grumbling about this, she had stalked off towards the library, alone, and started her studying.

Now however, as she rifled through her bag she was distracted when a horrible screech came from where her breakfast plate would have been. She looked up and was met with red eyes and knew that it was Harry's owl, it saddened her to not see the white feathers soaring through the hall anymore but there was something about this owl that captured her attention. Not in a good way, but she was entranced by the bird all the same.

"Thanks." She muttered before it stole her breakfast as it flew off.

"Blasted thing." She swore before unraveling the letter and having a quick read.

By the time she had finished, Ron and the other boys had entered the Great Hall for breakfast so she handed him the letter before getting herself some more toast, no thanks to the black owl who had stolen hers moments before.

"So, he's doing okay I guess." Ron surmised as he gave the parchment back.

"Hmm, I think he really wants to come back though. I wonder what the Headmaster will do seeing as he has no where else to go." She replied and the red head nodded.

"Maybe he'll stay at the Burrow. He stayed for those few days in the holidays, perhaps he'll be sent there. I hope so anyway." Ron's voice was small and Hermione looked sadly across the table at him.

They both missed the troublesome Gryffindor; life just wasn't the same when there wasn't something Hermione was complaining about to him or Ron was scheming so as far as Hermione was concerned, the days had gotten boring. _No,_ she thought, _perspective_ , she needed to remind herself that she was in study mode so there was no room to be reminiscing over the old days. If luck had anything to do with it, they would be back together for the following year but considering the circumstances, she wasn't holding her breath.

"Are you going to reply?" Ron asked, breaking her reverie.

"Yes, yeah after classes though. Come on, we're going to be late for Transfiguration." She ground out as she glanced down at the time.

When they had finished classes for the day, Hermione, Ron, Ginny and Neville were tucked away in the library though Ron was more forced to be there, as he needed to be studying. Not that Hermione cared in the slightest, as long as he was there and not out playing Quidditch or mucking around with the other lads in the common room, she was happy.

"What are you saying?" Ron asked as he tried to look at what she was putting down on paper to their friend in Bulgaria.

"Just the usual, how you're not studying and being a pain." She said in a humored voice and he squawked at her words, not catching on that she was joking.

"Honestly, Ron, she's kidding." His sister giggled as she swiped him on the arm and he grumbled to himself before putting his head on his arms on the table.

"Well, not really but there's other stuff too. I wonder if Harry's doing any Quidditch or even gone out on his broom whilst he's been there." She said, it was almost to herself but loud enough for everyone to hear, even those who were a couple of tables away.

"Hi. Are you writing to Harry?" All four heads looked over to the direction of the voice and saw the Slytherin robes standing at the end of the desk.

"Hi, Blaise. Yeah, we are." Hermione answered and he nodded, hesitating as he went to walk away.

"You know he hated having to say no to you." She said again and he stopped, turning to face her and smiling sadly.

"Perhaps he wants to write something as well?" Ginny piped up and Hermione nodded before she continued with the letter back to her friend with the intention of seeing the Slytherin before she sent it off.

The only time she was able to corner him was when they we waiting outside the Potion's classroom at the end of the next day and he looked at her warily as she approached by herself. However she didn't get to say anything as the door was slammed open and the unmistakable booming voice bellowed at them to get in.

It was always the same when Gyrffindor had Professor Snape for anything now, it was almost as though he was taking the loss of a certain Gryffindor out on the rest of the house, well that's what Hermione believed anyway. She couldn't ever remember the man being this horrible to them before Harry was moved. Never the less, she got comfortable up the front of the room and was surprised when the Blaise came up and sat next to her.

"Homework in first then you will start brewing the last potion before exams, instructions are up on the board and you will have the remainder of the lesson to complete. Start when ready."

Hermione looked up at the strict man cautiously, he didn't seem to have his usual nasty presence about him, and he almost looked fed up and tired. She knew she had to be seeing things because he would never let his students get the better of him, not even one green eyed boy who was sent away. She sighed and gave Blaise her homework as he stood and went over to the Professor's desk to hand it in, as he did this she stood and went to the ingredients cupboard to get the right things for them both, it was a complicated potion and she wanted to get a good start on it to ace them like she always did.

They were half way through, Blaise catching up with her and they stood silently as their brews simmered for ten minutes before they could continue. She chose this moment to bring up what she wanted to talk to him about and cleared her throat ready to talk.

"So, Blaise did you want to add something for, Harry?" She asked quietly, aware that someone very close to them could quite possibly hear their conversation.

"If you wouldn't mind… I just don't really know what to say." He whispered back to her.

"I'm sure he'd appreciate anything, I think he's really struggling at the moment." She replied in a very low whisper that the teen shook his head to indicate he hadn't heard her.

"I said, I don't think things are going very well at the moment."

"He said that?" The Slytherin almost looked lost when he heard these words and Hermione truly believed that the boy had more than a fascination with her friend, too bad his heart was somewhere else because she would fully support Blaise and Harry together.

"He said he really wants to come home," She continued, this time looking down at her book because a certain sour man was currently eyeing them carefully, "Hogwarts is his home, Blaise." She added before moving on with her potion.

"Why doesn't he just come – "

"Mr. Zabini, if you do not concentrate that potion will be ruined." Severus interrupted before the bushy haired annoyance had the chance to answer and before his Slytherin could finish his sentence.

It hurt Severus to know that his boy wanted to come back, though he supposed that Harry wasn't his anymore. He hadn't heard from him for a considerable length of time and to top it off he wasn't wearing the bangle either. He knew he should be moving on, he figured that when the time came where he would see the teenager again they wouldn't utter even a sound to one another. That's what hurt him the most, the fact that he had done this and now he couldn't even say that the Gryffindor was his. He was starting to give up with the pretense of his snarky demeanor too, he just felt there was no point in it all, and he felt empty… _Broken_ , came to mind when he considered his life at the moment.

His thoughts carried him to the end of the class where the students were ordered to submit their potions. As he looked over them all, he noted that Granger had a perfect potion, as did his Slytherin but apart from that it was a poor effort considering he gave them almost double the time than was required. He sat behind his desk, his thoughts distracting him and the silver bangle that he still wore as a silent reminder of what could have been shone in the dim green light before he was face to face with a Gryffindor uniform and he shook his head to ask the girl what she wanted.

"I uh… Well you probably heard what I said before… To Blaise… So, I uh, well – " Hermione stuttered before she was cut off.

"My thoughts on this topic are irrelevant and quite frankly none of your damned business, so if you could kindly remove yourself from my presence it would be greatly appreciated." Severus drawled carelessly and stood, picking up the students homework.

Hermione knew it was too good to believe that her Professor would let his walls down and admit that he missed her friend too. Perhaps it was too ignorant for her to even fathom that he would slip up in his professional manner when around other students. Either way, she wasn't upset that she had received this answer, it proved to her that nothing else suspicious was going to happen with other students, or perhaps it was naïve of her to believe that that he would still think about Harry.

When she stepped outside into the cool Dungeon corridor she met up with Blaise who walked with her to the owlery as he was going to add something to the letter she was sending. He secretly hoped that Harry would reply even though he still didn't know why he had left, only Hermione and Ron seemed to know but they didn't seem very fourth coming with that piece of information so he decided to just leave it.

* * *

By the following weekend, Harry had had enough. He had spotted Christian with a tear stained face multiple times during the week but the teen refused to talk about it. Harry had an idea what it was about but considering Professor Viktor hadn't said anything to _him_ about anything going on he still felt relatively safe when he went to see the man for studying.

He was heading there now as it turned out and being a Friday he had no intentions of going to dinner. Exams were in the following week and he was starting to stress incessantly about them because he felt so under prepared. As he approached the man's office he could hear yelling coming from inside and just as he was about to reach out and knock on the door it was thrust open and Christian ran out in tears. Harry took a couple of seconds to work out what had just happened and was about to run after him when a hand gripped his upper arm tightly and dragged him inside the room.

After he gained his equilibrium he heard the telling signs of the door clicking shut and locking as well as the unmistakable feeling of a couple of spells warding the door but he tried not to react to it and only frowned at his Professor.

"I'm sorry, sir if this isn't a good time I can just leave." Harry said carefully but it seemed his Professor wasn't having any of it and shooed him over to the desk, towering over him when he was pushed into a seat.

"I don't need your concern, Potter. You need to study, so study."

Harry nodded and went to get his books out all the while thinking about his friend. They had obviously had a fight, but about what he wasn't sure because he hadn't been there long enough to make out anything that had been said. Instead of worrying about this further he decided just to get stuck into his studies and seeing as the man was sitting conveniently over at his desk doing Merlin knows what, he started to ask the man some questions.

As it turned out, when the man was alone he was quite helpful with his answers and it got Harry thinking about other ways he could incorporate his spells. Of course, he had learnt back at Hogwarts about the use of Transfiguration and Charms when aiming to defend ones self, but seeing as Harry was learning about the Dark Arts he realized you could hurt just as effectively with these combinations. This sparked something in his mind and he realized what he had missed when creating his own curses. This sudden realization didn't go unnoticed by his Professor and was then questioned about it.

"I take it you have created some of your own spells?" Viktor asked, he had come to sit next to the ex-Gryffindor at this stage but Harry didn't seem to care, they were having a rather civilized conversation.

"Oh, uh… I've, um, started but n-nothing obviously h-has worked… yet." He stuttered out and the dour man nodded in thought.

"Want to show me what you have so far?" He asked after a few seconds and Harry looked away, not sure if this was going to incriminate him in something, sure he was all for the Dark Arts and learning how to hurt people who were going to be mean to him but he was also aware of the consequences of such acts.

"Harry, I'm not going to tell anyone. I am, after all, the Dark Arts Professor."

Harry hadn't even realized the man had used his first name as he was tossing up between whether or not he should let the man in on what he had been doing. He _did_ make a good point though, he was the Professor for this subject and he just felt like if he told the man what he was doing then he could shed some light on where he was going wrong.

"Have you created your own spells before, sir?" The teen asked curiously and after a curt nod he reached down into his bag and pulled out his notebook that was full of his research and failed combinations.

"I am actually working on one at the moment but it doesn't seem to be gelling together like it should." Harry finally admitted and he gave the man a piece of parchment that had the spell with wand movements on it.

He watched on as his Professor studied the parchment carefully, noting how his face looked so different this close up when they weren't in the presence of other people, he almost looked approachable but Harry knew better. This man so was similar to Severus that he snorted in amusement, forgetting that he was in the room with someone else and he was given a stern look.

"Something funny?"

"No, sir. Sorry, sir." Harry apologized sincerely, this man was _not_ Severus. No way.

"I think if you changed the upward movement to a downward motion and swivel here, then it should solve your issue. The working seems to be right, if the translation is what you wish the spell to do what it says."

"I do." Harry nodded and noted the changes before smiling at the man and turning back to his work, "Thank you, sir. Did you want me to leave now or – "

"Stay as long as you need to." Viktor said, cutting him off and stood slowly.

Harry shivered as he felt something brush his back along the top of the chair he was sitting on and glanced over at the stoic man as he made his way back to his desk. When the man turned to sit down they locked eyes and Harry held his breath as a familiar look flashed through the man's eyes, making him gulp and a pooling in his stomach start.

It was another hour or so with Harry buried within his work that he hadn't noticed the two of them had worked past dinnertime. His stomach had started growling half an hour ago but he had been on a roll with his Potion's theory and hadn't wanted to stop. Now though he had sat up and was stretching the kinks out of his spine when he heard a popping sound of a house elf and he startled a little when he saw what it had delivered to his Professor's desk. He watched as the elf disappeared and gulped when his Professor came walking over to the desk Harry was working at with two plates that had the resemblance of something that would be served for dinner.

"Apologies, Harry, but you looked so enthralled in your work I didn't want to stop you. Here." Viktor explained, his voice softer than it usually was and alarm bells that should have been going off in Harry's head weren't there as his Professor sat next to him, handing him a plate of food.

"T-Thanks." He stuttered, more shocked at the kind gesture and quickly cleared away his work, shoving it into his bag before turning towards the meal.

They sat in silence with the ex-Gryffindor picking at his food as he realized the weight of the situation. This was something that Severus would have done for him and he can remember certain times where Harry had run to him for some absurd reasoning just so he could eat in peace. This felt very much like those times and he was beginning to think that he had walked into something bigger than anticipated. _The man could just be trying to comfort you… Or just being nice,_ he thought, but as he glanced over at the man he had this look in his eye that Harry had seen before and it turned his insides to liquid. He had to get out of there.

"Well, sir, thank you. Blimey, is that the time? I should really get going." He faked his surprise by looking over at the clock on the wall and he pushed his plate away, bending down to grab his bag before he stood.

"What's the hurry? I'd be lying if your presence here hasn't had a profound affect on my ability to get marking done. Would you perhaps like a drink?"

Harry's eyes went wide and he looked self consciously over at the door, forgetting it was still locked and brushed past the man in an attempt to get away.

"Thanks for the offer, sir… May…. Be another time?" He hesitated, he could promise anything he liked right now; he just wanted to get out of there.

He reached the door and tried the handle but it wouldn't budge, so quickly thinking he tried an unlocking charm wordlessly but it still didn't unlock. The hairs on the back of his neck began to stand and he shivered when he felt an oppressing aura coming towards him. Soon enough an arm came into view and the hand set itself lay upon the door, Harry didn't want to turn around, he knew his Professor was merely inches away from his face as he could feel the breath on the back of his neck.

"I don't think you should leave just yet, Harry." His voice was gruff and husky, something that made the teen close his eyes and take a deep breath.

W-Why not, sir?" He asked lamely and heard a deep chuckled right by his ear.

"Because I'm not entirely convinced you _want_ to leave just now." The man replied and pressed the full length of his body up against Harry's back.

"W-What are you d-doing?" Harry stumbled to get out, his breathing getting short and far between as he tried to control his heartbeat.

"Oh, don't you play coy with me boy. I know this is what you want. How is it a cute wee thing like yourself can willingly be around a Professor like you have been all week and not feel anything. You were doing this to get closer to me weren't you?"

"Huh?" Harry was at a loss as to where the man was coming from, and did he just get called _cute_?

"Is it because you found out what Mr. O'Haragh was doing and are jealous?" He continued on, his other hand had found Harry's hip and gripped it lightly.

"I h-have no idea w-what you're talking about!" Harry rasped out, he found that he couldn't move because the boldness of the man had completely rendered him immobile.

Harry's mind was all over the place, it was screaming at him to do something, to get the man away from his body but said body was reacting in ways he didn't want it to and he bit his lower lip subconsciously as the man continued to speak in his ear.

"Rest assured, Harry, it was _you_ I had my eye on the whole time. Boy's like you are what keep me sane in this job." His voice was almost a purr and Harry felt the man's hand on his hip move.

He mewled in surprise and his hormones took over his brain when fingers reached the erection that was forming inside his trousers. His head, on its own accord, fell backwards and was caught on his Professor's shoulder as the hand palmed his groin over the clothing with enough pressure to cause Harry frustration. When he felt the breath on the back of his neck he shuddered and felt a kiss being placed on the side of his neck, he had to get out of there. This man wasn't Severus, he was an old perverted Professor who slept with his students, that much was becoming true but he couldn't bring himself to push the man away, half in fear that he would be physically hurt if he did.

"No, get off me." Harry tried weakly before he was pushed into the door, his head hitting it almost painfully and the body covering his own from behind.

"I know you want this, Harry. Just give yourself to me so I can ram my cock in your ass. Let me make you feel what you deserve."

The man's words were disgusting, _Severus would never do this, he didn't do this to me, he waited… He made sure I was ready… Severus…_ Harry started to sob, he didn't want this and the hand on his groin was moving about. He realized his button and zip had been undone and fingers were about to reach into his briefs when he finally choked out a loud sob and his magic exploded, pushing the man backwards.

"Bastard!" Harry cried and pulled his wand on the man a couple of feet away from him.

"You idiot, do you know what you are throwing away, hmm?"

"Stay away from me." Harry shouted at him and the man took a step forwards, not heeding Harry's dangerous warning.

"I don't think so, Potter, don't forget you _owe_ me!" Viktor barked, confusing the distraught teen.

"What? I haven't – "

"Do you really think you would have made a friend if I hadn't told him to befriend you? To watch out for you? Do you really believe that you would have gotten the resources to create your own spells if I wasn't the one who gave you and that stupid boy the books that lead you right to it?"

Harry looked at him with a mixture or disgust and sadness as he tried to comprehend what was being said to him.

"What about those times you were being beaten by those students? Or in class where you began to make progress? I made it so you could be who you've become, Potter. You are a Dark Wizard only because I have made it possible for you. Welcome to the Dark side, boy. Now give me what I want in return." He took a step forwards and in that time it took, Harry felt as though time had stopped, everything put on pause as his mind made all those connections.

 _He's always been there when I've been in trouble… In Physical Education, Dark Arts, the corridors… Always watching me._ Everything suddenly made sense and he had the mind to accuse him of killing his bird too, but he didn't have a moment to say anything as he shoved his wand at the man's throat and uttered his new slicing curse the man had just helped him develop. The red light erupting from his wand blinded them both and Harry had to use the door as leverage from the power of his magic.

He was briefly aware that his Professor was screaming, probably from the pain but he didn't wait around and after blasting the door off its hinges he sprinted off down the hall with one place in mind to go. As he ran he was aware of the cooler weather and the rumbling sound of the sky as it took over the castle but he didn't stop as he descended multiple lots of stairs until he got to the big wooden doors of the Highmasters office.


	10. Chapter 10

.

Severus woke the next morning with a hangover and a throbbing headache. He knew he shouldn't have downed that bottle of whiskey last night but it seemed the right thing to do with impending examinations he was going to have to mark and idiotic children he was going to have to deal with. He was very much looking forward to the holidays that followed the final exams because it meant he could hide himself away and bury himself in his Potion's research.

After his shower and a potion for his headache he went into his living area to find an owl impatiently standing on the back of his couch. He frowned at it, not in the mood for whatever the Headmaster was going to put him through that morning and took the offending piece of parchment from the birds' beak. It squawked back at him disgruntled by the treatment but waited for the paper to be read, these were the conditions that were set upon it from the sender.

Severus's heart lurched into his throat and he swallowed uncomfortably at the scrawl written on the parchment, nothing good ever came from meetings with the Headmaster before breakfast commenced. He tried to think sensibly but ever since what happened at his home with a certain Gryffindor he had become very wary of any meetings that involved the Headmaster. He sighed, this situation wasn't going to get any better by him standing there like an idiot so he threw on his outer robe and swiftly left his quarters, the bird flying overhead and disappearing down the corridor in front of him.

When he reached the Headmasters office he found the door already open and the Gryffindor Head of House standing there with horror written across her face. His immediate thought was that something had happened to a student but of what he had no idea, it was just he, the Headmaster and Minerva in the office when the door closed behind him and he made his way over to the other two.

"You summoned me, Albus." He greeted stiffly and the man nodded gravely, passing another copy of the Daily Prophet his way.

Severus's world froze over when he glanced at the title. If it weren't for a rugged face that had cuts scraping across it on the front cover he would have thought his secret was out. He was lucky however, this was not an article about his illegal ways with a green-eyed teenager, it was about someone else but it still came too close to home for him.

" _ **Durmstrang's Dirty Secret: Professor sexually assaults numerous students."**_

"I'll save you having to read it, Severus and cut right to the chase. Now before either of you comment, let me get the specifics out of the way." The greying older Wizard stated and offered both of his staff a seat before he continued.

"There has been an incident at Durmstrang Academy where a staff member has been… Well let's say he had been caught with a student. This doesn't only concern one student but as it happens, a few students. I will be heading over to Bulgaria in a few hours to speak with the Highmaster, Igor to sort out what will be happening."

"What do you mean, Albus? Does this involve one of our own?" Minerva asked in horror and the man nodded gravely.

"That's why the two of you are here. Now – No, Severus please let me finish, I know how you feel about your _Slytherin's_ but let me continue," The Potion's Master knew at that moment that it wasn't his expelled Slytherin's that had been in the middle of this, "The Ministry is doing an enquiry in the school at the moment, but because of the nature of the situation they will be coming around all Wizarding Institutions to ensure everything else is in order. The students are also currently receiving counseling from St. Mungos staff as we speak."

Severus didn't particularly like the sound of this and he briefly registered that the Gryffindor Head was also voicing her disgust though she didn't know about the implications between her little lion and himself. He doubted that she would understand the situation and therefore wished that they didn't speak about it to her. Dreams were free he concluded because he was soon listening to the Headmaster asking him an important question.

"She needs to know, Severus. It will be essential in case we need, Mr. Potter to return."

Severus looked between his coworkers, the walls he had built around himself instantly fell away and he looked over at the window unable to meet their eye at the prospect of his secret getting out. He nodded anyway, he knew she would have to be told, he knew that some day this was going to get out because this was the Wizarding world and nothing remained silent forever. He cleared his throat and turned back towards the woman but the Headmaster spoke for him, he supposed he would let the man just speak because he wasn't sure what was allowed to be said.

"Minerva, bare in mind that no one was _actually_ hurt in this," When she nodded though with her eyes narrowed, Dumbledore continued, "The reason, Mr. Potter was removed from Hogwarts… Was because he and Severus were in a relationship and without getting the Ministry involved in this affair, the Board of Governors allowed the removal of the boy so Severus could keep his job." He finished and Severus braced himself for the barrage of insults that was going to appear after the audible gasp.

"Severus Snape! What were you thinking, getting involved with a student, a _Gryffindor_ , no less?" She raised her voice and Severus sighed looking over to his employer in exasperation.

"Apart from the obvious, Minerva there was actually nothing sinister going - "

"I would have been surprised if there was. Honestly, sometimes I wonder what goes through that brilliant mind of yours, Severus." She snapped, cutting the old man off before going to stand by the Potion's Master.

"Was it because he was living with you?" She asked, putting a hand on his upper arm.

"No." His voice was quiet and ashamed.

There was a deathly silence that followed this answer where no one dared to say anything and Severus wondered if the woman was plotting many ways to destroy him through Tranfiguration. He tried to humor himself in believing a matchbox would be fit enough for him, so tiny the world wouldn't find him. Suddenly however, the Gryffindor Head of House clicked onto something and she spun quickly round to face the Headmaster.

"Why are you going to Durmstrang again, Albus? This involves Mr. Potter doesn't it?" She asked alarmed but was suitably shut down by the Headmaster, she knew it had to be that; Harry was an ex-Gryffindor and she knew this extended beyond Deputy Headmistress responsibilities for her being summoned at this early hour.

"Minerva, I need to you take care of the school whilst I am gone. It shouldn't be long I hope but if anything happens I will need you to take charge and Severus, you will need to support her, understood?"

They both nodded and he released his two Professors so they could get some breakfast and hopefully do a little damage control with the students within the Great Hall. The article in the Daily Prophet was definitely going to have some turning heads and pointing fingers but he hoped that the students of his school were above the level of dirty gossip. Albus tiredly sighed, some days he really did hate his job but at the end of the day the safety of his students and staff was paramount. Harry may not be a student at Hogwarts anymore but he wanted to ensure he was happy because it was he that agreed to the arrangement of sending him away. The self-sacrifice of the boy for his Potion's Professor was surprising but it made him think that perhaps the boy needed the support that Severus gave even though he wasn't that keen on the idea of them _being together_.

Out in the corridor, Minerva stopped Severus and making sure no one was in earshot she spoke softly to her coworker.

"I am disappointed in your decision, Severus but I have to ask you something," Severus didn't say anything but he nodded warily wondering where she was going, "Did you make him happy?"

All it took was for the man to avert his eyes and nod once again for her to be happy and she expressed this before making her way down the staircase. She knew what her co worker was like, she had taught him back when he was Harry's age, so in her gut she had the feeling that the level at which the man and her Gryffindor student had gotten into wasn't harming either of them. It did sadden her however that once removed from the school, her lion was faced with another issue and what upset her the most was that she was convinced the boy had something to do with what was in the paper. She only prayed to Merlin and Godric Gryffindor that he wasn't implicated in this, as she knew this would destroy him especially after what he had been through.

As their Head of House was making her way the Great Hall, Hermione and the rest of the Gryffindor gang had just sat down when the front page headline caught her attention and she gasped, snagging the first available paper she could get her hands on.

"Blimey, you don't think – "

"Shh, let me read." She interrupted Ron as they sat down.

"I'll save you the trouble," Dean said and they all looked up, "A teacher from Durmstrang has been caught shagging a student. He's been fired apparently and the school has gone of a massive lockdown with aura's and healers going in to support the students. It says the Ministry are there too." He finished and went back to his pumpkin juice.

"Students? There was more than one?" Ron's eyes were nearly bulging out of their sockets.

"Yeah, apparently he's been doing this for years. That's where Harry's gone hasn't he? I hope he's okay." Dean commented, mostly to himself but of course he didn't know why his friend had left, only that he'd transferred schools.

"Hermione." Ron whispered and nudged her elbow as he saw their Head of House with the Dungeon Bat walking into the hall.

"Do you reckon they know?" He continued and she nodded when she saw the split second glance their Potion's Professor gave them.

"Yeah, I think they do, Ron." She whispered back before she got stuck into the article.

When Severus took his seat at the head table that morning he properly looked over the front page spread of this disaster. It talked about the continuous stream of students that had been groomed by the man, a Professor who taught Defense and Dark Arts classes. Something about the man's face on the front cover gave the Potion's Master a chill, whoever it was that inflicted that kind of damage was not only a strong Witch or Wizard but a dark one at that. His mind flicked back to the contents of his old Potion's textbook that was kicking around his personal library somewhere between the school and his home. It had similar curses hidden between the pages, well _The Half Blood Prince's_ Potions textbook.

* * *

"Mr. Potter, can you please give us an account of what precisely happened between yourself and Professor Viktor that lead to this reporting of sexual harassment?"

Harry sat at one end of the long table that resided within the Highmaster's office. He had been giving statement after statement to healers, Ministry officials and his Highmaster for a couple of days now and he was growing tired. He kept replaying what had happened in his head, the look on Christian's face when he had run into him that night in the dorms before everything had exploded around them and the school taken over by the Ministry. Aura's were now stationed around the school, students were kept in their dorms, library or the Grand Hall to ensure their safety though the affected students were pulled out every now and then by the Headmaster and a Ministry official for questioning or counseling. Now however, Harry was being, he thought, interrogated for a better word about what had happened the day previously.

"Look, I've given you my memories of the situation so can I not just go and rest? Write to my friends to say I'm okay?" He replied in exasperation before a loud knocking on the wooden doors alerted everyone to another's presence.

"Albus!" The Highmaster cried in recognition at the same time as Harry's head whipped round to see if his ears had deceived him.

"Igor, a pity around the circumstances." Dumbledore replied before he took pride of place behind the ex-Gryffindor making sure not to touch the chair in any way.

"Mr. Dumbledore – "

"Headmaster Dumbledore, thank you and as I am the guardian of Mr. Harry Potter I am informing you that memories are enough evidence without having to traumatize him further. You are done here."

Harry raised an eyebrow at the Ministry lady who had been asking the questions and she huffed before explaining he was actually the last person she needed to speak with. She promptly left after this with an Aura following her before Harry saw familiar grey robes coming into view from his right before the Headmaster of Hogwarts came and took a seat opposite him, his Highmaster excusing himself from the room to give the two of them some privacy.

"Harry, I – "

"I don't need you pity, sir. I am quite capable of looking after myself as evident in the state I left Professor Viktor in. All you need to know is that I am staying here for exams and I won't budge on this." Harry intercepted him and after looking away he realized how rude he had sounded though quick frankly he didn't care at this point, he just wanted to be by himself.

He wanted to be with his friends as well but if he didn't sit his exams he doubted he'd get the best marks to pass through into his final year. That and the fact Hogwarts didn't cover Dark Arts in their curriculum.

"I understand. I had hoped to have allowed you back into Hogwarts after speaking with the Board but if you are set in your decision that is fine. What I was _actually_ going to ask, was how you were fearing?" Dumbledore's tone reminded Harry that the man was fully aware of his rudeness, which made him feel a little guilty, but only a smidge.

"I… I am fine, sir." Harry stammered, his heart was beating wildly in his heart, whether it was because his old Headmaster was there to see him of the weight of the situation had finally hit him but he was suddenly feeling unhinged.

 _The last time I saw you was when you caught…_ He didn't finish off that thought as he heard the Headmaster speaking softly to him.

"I am truly sorry, my boy. Is… Is there anything that I can do for you?" The old Wizard didn't really know what else he could offer the teen; he wasn't in a position to do so without the confeerence of the school's Highmaster.

"I just want to rest." Harry replied quietly and in a defeated manner.

"I imagine that you would. Go and join your friends and make sure you keep them close," At this Harry snorted in amusement, "Or perhaps a lap on the trusty broomstick to clear your head?" He offered as he frowned at the display of behaviour in front of him.

"With all due respect, sir, I have no friends here and haven't once mounted a broom the time I have been here. To tell you the truth," He murmured as he stood, "Leaving Hogwarts was the worst thing I could have done, and what's more, I won't ever return. So please, sir, I would very much like to rest and attempt to clear my mind enough to study for my exams at the end of the week."

Dumbledore stood after this speech and nodded gravely, his twinkling blue eyes not shining like they usually would have upon seeing a Hogwarts student. It was clear to him that his student had changed, though from what he couldn't quite pin point. Was it because he was transferred? Was it because he wasn't around his Potion's Professor? Or was it because this situation had caused him emotional distraught? He obviously wasn't going to get an answer to these questions today, so obliging to the students' wishes he gave a brief farewell before meeting the Highmaster out in the corridor who was speaking with a number of people.

"Ah, Albus, off so soon? I couldn't catch you for a moment could I?" Igor asked, and with a brief nod they both re entered the man's office as Harry made his way down the corridor to find somewhere quiet.

He managed to find himself in his dorm room where a couple of boys were hunched over a desk studying, another walking out from the bathrooms and another flopped on their bed reading a Quidditch magazine. He made his way over to opposite wall where his bed was located and sat on the edge, his eyes glued to the cobbled floor as he thought about what was going on. Whilst talking to the counselors had been slightly comforting, he still had a lot to think about but he didn't feel threatened at this stage, the Aura's stationed on every corner you went around made sure of that. He hadn't seen Christian at all on this day either, he was most likely trying to lick his wounds but then again he had had the worst treatment out of all of the students that had been caught up in all this drama.

The problem for Harry, and it wasn't something that he shared with the St. Mungos staff, was that he was confused around his feelings. The only reason why he had cursed the man was because he didn't feel like he had any control over the situation, he was simply pushing himself onto the teen and he didn't like it. The fondling on the other hand was something he couldn't pin an emotion to, whilst it was true he hadn't even jerked off the whole time he'd been at the Academy, he didn't think the dirty hands of his Professor were anything to get excited about. The confusing part, was imagining it was Severus's hands on him, not Viktor's.

This was playing on his mind the most, that, and the naïve nature in which he still behaved. He was nearly of legal age and was letting his Professor's use him as their sex slaves, and yes that included Severus. He growled in frustration before throwing himself backwards onto his bed, tears welling gently in the corners of his eyes and a single tear rolling down his face when he closed them. There was a dull ache in his heart and he knew who he was yearning for, but he didn't want to acknowledge it.

As Harry lay there, he remembered a time where he was equally depressed where he passed out in Severus's lounge when he essentially skulled a part bottle of whiskey. However, the feeling soon turned to anger when he realized that that had been the man's plan, to groom him so they could get together. _I'm such a fool_ , he groaned and put his head in his hands, he wanted all this to end, he wanted a family and his friends… _And Severus_.

"Harry?" A shaken voice made him open his eyes and he looked up to find a grey eyed teen standing by his bed.

He wiped the tear that had streaked down his face hastily before sitting up and going over to the boy, he didn't really want to talk about what was happening around the other boys so he motioned towards the bathroom. Once they were in there and had checked that there was no one but them in the room, Harry turned to regard his crushed looking friend and found himself desperately wanting to hug the boy.

"How are you holding up?" Harry asked, the boy looked terrible but he wasn't surprised, it reminded him of when Dumbledore had caught him and Severus at the man's house.

"I'm being sent home tonight… I just thought I'd come and say goodbye." He said softly and Harry nodded.

"What he did was wrong, I mean I know I tried to stop you but I had no idea he was that kind of person and had gone on for so long." Harry apologized but it only seemed to set the boy off and the ex-Gryffindor felt terrible for saying anything.

Moments later Harry found himself with am armful of a teary eyed boy and he slowly put his arms around the shaking shoulders. He tried to sooth Christian by talking to him but nothing really seemed to be working, that's when he pushed himself away and locked eyes with his friend to see if just holding him there would help. It seemed to, for a moment and Christian wiped his nose before standing on his own and gazing sadly at Harry.

"I don't know if I'll come back next year… This whole thing has really screwed up my mind."

"Don't force it, Christian. Just do what you want to do when you're ready, and make sure you have your friends close. I know when I'm sad my friends always made me feel better." Harry explained, not that he currently had his two best friends with him but over the years they had been really good.

"Thanks." Was the only response Harry got before the teen turned away and walked back towards the dorm.

 _Great, middle of exams and I'm losing my only friend,_ he thought sadly before turning his gaze to the floor, his mind a scattered mess.

* * *

Hermione and Ron were sitting in the Gryffindor common room, Hermione clutching the latest edition of the Daily Prophet re-reading everything in case there was some minuet detail she had missed. She kept wondering if this had something to do with their friend, it was only because he had done something similar with their Potion's Professor that she had this nervous gut feeling happening.

"Look, 'Mione, he'll be okay." Ron tried to placate her but she wasn't having any of it.

"I wonder who fired this curse, I doubt it would have been an Aura or another Professor." She finally spoke and looked at her friend.

"He isn't involved, okay. Just, give me the paper and go study or something." He tried as he pried the paper out of her hands.

It worked for a split second before she stood and started pacing in front of the fire, she just knew something was up but now that she thought about it, those marks on the man's face didn't look like any spell she had heard of. That's when she decided to hit the library to see if she could find something on the vicious looking spell. Ron, for the moment looked happy that it had taken her mind off what was in the paper, little did he know she was off to see what she could dig up.

Just as she was about to enter the library, on the cusp of curfew, she heard even footsteps coming towards her so she ducked into an alcove to wait until the person had passed. She didn't fancy getting caught though the circumstances as to why she was out made her feel bolder in her disregard for the rules. As it happened, Professor Snape was striding past and she swallowed a lump in her throat, he was the last person she wanted to bump into at this time of night. She wondered if he knew anything about their friend, she supposed he wouldn't though given the nature of what had happened but she couldn't say for sure.

She let out the breath she had been holding when the footsteps died down and crept silently into the library, after this she was going to send her friend an urgent letter to see if he was okay. Ron may have thought everything was alright but given the grave faces of their Professors around this news she wasn't so sure.

Severus was on his way to the Headmasters office again for the second time that day. All four Heads of House were required to be present at this meeting and he knew that this meant something was gravely wrong. The thought made him sick to his stomach, the prospect of the other two Professor's finding out his secret but he supposed they didn't really need to know about that… Did they?

"Severus, I was about to come and get you." Dumbledore spoke relieved before taking a seat behind his desk.

Severus muttered an apology, catching the critical eye of the Gryffindor Head before he came to stand behind her chair she was sitting in, whilst the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff Heads of House were on the other chairs.

"I simply wished to update you on the matters at Durmstrang Academy."

"Are there any ex-Hogwarts students involved in this?" Flitwick's scratchy voice called from his seat, it was a question all four Heads wanted to ask but were somewhat afraid of the answer.

There was a deep sigh from the old Wizard as he leaned back in his chair and rested his head on his supports arm. He nodded ever so slightly gasps were heard from Sprout and McGonagall at the same time as Flitwick started spluttering, asking who it was.

"Unfortunately, for the safety of all students at Durmstrang, I cannot disclose specific information however I will say that former Hogwarts students were involved, yes."

Severus felt like vomiting, this was all his fault. If he had only restrained himself, told Harry that nothing could happen then they wouldn't be in this position. He wondered how long it had been going on, if this vile Professor had had more than one student at a time, whether he had essentially raped them through penetration. His head started to swim with the idea of Harry being wrapped up in this and his legs started to go weak, the only thing holding him up was the death grip he had on the back of Minerva's chair. He had no doubt he was going to double over any minute or pass out if the black spots in front of his eyes were anything to go by.

"This is awful." Sprout commented and whilst the other three adults hummed in agreement or nodded, Severus wanted to cry and he was not a man for displaying ugly water works.

"All students affected by this horrific indecency are receiving treatment and I have been reassured that all measures are being put in place so that _every_ student will be safe. Now more specific to Hogwarts, there will be Ministry officials on the premises over the next couple of days for meetings with myself and the Board of Governors and whilst I have been assured their presence will not affect daily activities, please be aware that students will be curious. Under no circumstances are they to know Hogwarts students have been involved, this is out of respect for those students affected."

Everyone nodded at the old man's words before they were freed for the remainder of the evening. Severus however, stayed behind and kept up the pretense that he had Slytherin related matters. He was not left along though as Dumbledore called out to the Gryffindor Head for her to stay as well. Both Heads of House knew why they were asked to stay behind, it only confirmed what Severus had concluded earlier on and he now had to sit, the bile rising steadily in his throat ready to make an appearance. It was all his fault.

"I know what you both want to hear, and I regret to inform you that yes, Harry was involved."

"Bastard." Severus ground out and fisted his hands, the sharp pain of his nails digging into the flesh of his palms did nothing but allow him to revel in the anger he felt towards the situation.

The other two occupants covered their heads when glass on the other side of the room exploded, shards flying everywhere and scaring Fawkes off his perch.

"Severus, please do not make any rash decisions. I have spoken to him and even though he seems… Strong… Coming out of this, he doesn't need you to go off your rocker."

"Are you going to bring him back, Albus?" Minerva asked, her voice wavering with unshed tears and a little shock.

"He has requested his continuation at Durmstrang for the duration of examinations. I do however, plan to bring him back for the few days Durmstrang closes early before he will be spending the Summer with Molly and Arthur Weasley." Dumbledore explained, but it didn't make the Potion's Master feel any better.

 _I've lost him forever_ , he thought sadly before looking into his employers eyes, pleading for him to do something.

"I shouldn't really divulge this information, no one apart from Aura's and Durmstrang's Highmaster are aware."

"What is it, Albus?" McGonagall asked keenly but Dumbledore was looking right at Severus.

"This is what he did." Dumbledore replied vaguely, holding up the front cover of the news paper to reveal the photo and both Professor's knew who he had meant.

"Harry?" Minerva was gob smacked.

* * *

The next morning, Harry was at the main gates sending his friend off, probably forever. He had intended to only give the teen a quick hug but it seemed that he wasn't going to be let go any time soon and he relished the comfort it brought him to know there was something in common between them. Something that brought them together but was also tearing them apart.

"I wish you weren't going, Christian." Harry said softly, he had had a lot of time to think about this over the course of the night as he hadn't been able to get to sleep.

Christian smiled at Harry sadly before moving forwards and kissing the ex-Gryffindor on the cheek. The feeling sent shivers down Harry's spine and he looked into the sad grey eyes only to find them sparkling, the sun that had only just made an appearance caught them and it was a magical feeling he was experiencing. He smiled back as he thought back to the fact that only hours before he and Christian were huddled on the boys' bed, trying to give each other comfort through cuddles but for completely different reasons. Christian because he didn't feel safe and Harry because he now felt extremely lonely with the thought of a certain Potion's Master circling his mind.

"Thanks for last night and good luck with your exams. I… I know Viktor said that he made me be friends with you… But I-I actually, you know… You _were_ my friend." He managed to finish his sentence before renewed tears sprung into steely eyes and it made Harry a little watery as well.

"I hope you're going to be okay." It's all Harry could come up with at the moment.

"It's going to take a while, I think. He'd been… Well we were…"

"It's okay you don't have to tell me." Harry said, not wanting to set the boy off again.

"No, it's fine. My healer says I'll need to speak about it someday… He'd – We'd been having s-sex since last year," His face blushed furiously and Harry saw shame starting to creep across the pale skin, "He'd b-been toying me bef-before then."

"Oh, Christian." Harry was starting to get wound up and the tell tale sound of thunder began to close in on them.

"It's all right, Harry but the thing that hurt the most was knowing he was doing it with other guys too, not just him and I. That's what makes me the most upset."

"Come here." Harry said rushing forwards and giving the teen a crushing hug, hoping that he wouldn't get too upset with this action.

"Thanks, guess I'll be seeing ya." He tried for casual but the shaking in the boy's shoulders and the biting of the lower lip showed to Harry that he was about to start crying, and not just sobbing.

He waved his friend off and when he couldn't see him anymore started back towards the castle so he could focus on the study he had to do rather than the emptiness in his soul. However, before he could get into his dorm he saw a scene in front of him he wished he hadn't, it was Malfoy, the disheveled blonde hair gave that away but what he wasn't used to seeing was that roles had been reversed and it was now the ex-Slytherin and bully of Hogwarts who was getting the beating. Harry couldn't let this slide, as much as he wanted to, he just couldn't bring himself to walk the other way now that he had stumbled across this.

Without hesitation he pulled his wand and pointed it at the scene before sound a warning shot just by the feet of the attackers. Crawdon, the one Harry had sent the heart curse at was one that spun round and scowled at the green eyed teen before the others pulled their wands out too.

"Didn't think you wanted to have another go so quickly, Crawdon. How's the ticker?" Harry's voice was thick and deep, his anger bubbling to the surface as well as excitement with his wand pulled on someone.

"I've never even heard of that spell you used on me, Potter. Where did you find it?" The boy spat but Harry simply shrugged before stepping forwards, a spell on the tip of his tongue before the boys high tailed it down the corridor and out of sight.

Harry slipped his wand back into the holster and regarded the Malfoy boy before continuing on his way, he didn't really want to look at that ugly mug right now, his mind spinning with everything that was going on. What he missed however was the look of gratitude mixed with surprise when he had his back turned, nor the somewhat knowing look that came later.


	11. Chapter 11

**.**

 **Firstly, apologies on the spelling mistake... I now realise "Auror" is not spelled "aura", so if I confused you, I'm sorry.**

* * *

Harry felt as though he had been bit by a hippogriff when he woke up the following morning, he felt terrible and his head pounded. He hadn't slept well again last night, the nightmares that had suddenly occurred over the last couple of nights had ensured his sleep was broken and disturbing. He hadn't realised this was going to affect him to the degree it had and wondered if his naivety had really been shining strong for him to miss the signs before it all blew up in his face.

Looking over at the time on the wall he audibly sighed before pulling back the covers and setting his feet on the cold harsh floors. He cradled his head gently as it pounded and once he'd taken a couple of deep breaths he stood with the intention of grabbing a shower before he rose for the day. Sure it was early but it was better to occupy his mind with study than to lay there and over think everything that had been going on.

Reaching the Grand Hall at breakfast, he was surprised to see that he was not the only one in the hall, seemed there were a few other tired looking faces among the seating as well as a couple of Professors and of course the army of Auror's stationed every few meters. He found himself a seat by the wall and pulled out his study material, he had nearly compiled a generously sized study guide that had everything he thought would be covered in the exams so was going to read over it rather than writing till his hand cramped. As he skimmed over the first page he reached out and grabbed a piece of toast, the dry texture he believed was all he deserved this morning considering how he was feeling.

He had been there for a good ten minutes and was thoroughly engrossed in his work when someone came and sat next to him, not that it really concerned the teen that someone was near him but when he spotted something frighteningly familiar he had to tense and look at the boy accusingly.

"You lost?" He sighed at the blonde headed boy before readying himself with a hand on the sleeve of his brown robes in case he needed to grip tightly onto his wand.

"I wanted to say thank you… For yesterday." Malfoy replied as he helped himself to breakfast.

Harry was almost struck down gob smacked at the admission. He and Malfoy had never gotten along, he afterwall was partly the reason the ex-Slytherin had been expelled in the first place when he was attacked by not only him but Goyle and Crabbe as well. Speaking of Crabbe though, he wondered where that fat Slytherin had gone seeing as he wasn't at Durmstrang. However the thought was cast aside as quickly as it was thought so Harry could focus on his study, the thought that the blonde could curse him at any moment at the forefront of his mind the whole time.

That, of course, was until the mail arrived and an owl came to drop several letters off for Harry before it flew away. He hadn't gotten a good look at the owl so he couldn't tell where the letters had come from but he decided to read them anyway to curb his curiosity and set his study material back in his bag as he reached for the first letter. It was from Hermione, well on closer inspection there were two from Hermione judging by the writing on the envelopes so he took one and opened it.

 _ **Harry,**_

 _ **It's hard to hear you aren't having a good time at Durmstrang, believe me we miss you too and are eager to hear what will be happening to your living situation at the end of the year…**_

There was another letter that slipped out from underneath this one that caught his attention and he frowned when he saw the writing because it wasn't any that he recognised yet it had come in the same envelope.

 _ **Hi Harry,**_

 _ **I was over hearing Hermione and Ron talking about you one day and couldn't help but wonder how you were getting along. They seem to think that you are unhappy at Durmstrang and this saddens me. I know we sort of left on the wrong foot but I want you to know that I truly do care about you and the fact that you have transferred schools is not only confusing but upsetting because I can't see you any more. You may think my reason is selfish but not seeing you every day has left a hole in my heart. I don't mean this in a relationship sense, I just want my friend back and I can't help but feel guilty for the way I reacted when you clearly are in love with someone else.**_

 _ **Please write back and let me know how you are, I can understand if you don't however.**_

 _ **Blaise**_

He quickly looked to his right where Malfoy was sitting and found the boy looking at him with a weird look in his eye. He promptly scrunched the letter in his hands and placed it in front of his plate before it burst into flames, not only surprising himself with the brutality of the destruction of the letter but also Malfoy. Neither of them said anything about this, even when Harry went back to read his other letters, this time angling them away so prying eyes couldn't see the contents and saw Hermione's other letter sitting in front of him. Picking it up, he leaned on the table with his elbow, supporting his head.

 _ **Harry please tell us you are okay? Ron and I have read the news article, I can't believe this has happened. Write back, this isn't a question, please tell me you weren't involved in this scandal!**_

 _ **Hermione**_

His friends concern was heart warming, and for the first time he actually felt obligated to write back and let them know he was okay. However before he could get up and reply to the letter another owl swooped down and deposited a letter in front of him, this owl was black and menacing looking and he felt as though it was familiar in some way though he couldn't pick out where he'd seen it before. Opening the letter his jaw physically dropped and his heart beat furiously, so much so he thought it was going to burst right out of his chest.

 _ **Professor Dumbledore told me, are you okay?**_

The writing gave him away instantly, it was from Severus, the man had actually written to him and asked if he was okay. He ignored the anger that was flaring inside him at the prospect of Dumbledore having told the staff who had been involved with this altercation but he had hoped, prayed to Godric Gryffindor that it had only been Severus that was told and no one else. He wouldn't be able to get past the sympathetic looks from the Professor's if he ever stepped foot into the school again. He re-read the note again and something that felt like hope blossomed in his chest, he knew he should send a reply but then he was reminded of something buried deep in his trunk and a plan formulated in his chest. First though, he was going to study.

"H-Hey, Potter!"

Malfoy's voice rung clear after him as they entered the corridor and Harry threw his arms into the air half-heartedly, as if to surrender from the impending pain that was going to follow. He looked at the boy tiredly, not even caring if the teen _did_ hex him, he thought that he even deserved it at the moment. However this was not to be the case as the blonde looked at him with a cocked head and then shook it as if not understanding why he was reacting that way.

"Come on, if you're going to curse me just get it over and done with. I'm tired of this game."

"I'm not intending to… I actually wanted to… You know, shadow you. I don't fancy having those guys after… Me… Again."

"They attacked you before?" Harry quizzed and the boy nodded, much to Harry's surprise, "Well if you must. I still don't trust you though." He continued and the teen nodded before following Harry as he made his way to the library.

* * *

"Have you heard back from Harry?" Blaise asked Hermione when she came to sit next to the boy in Potion's that afternoon.

She shook her head sadly and watched his features change, a range of emotions seemed to flick through the Slytherin's face before he settled on an ambivalent face and turned to the front where their Professor was trying to get their attention.

"I hope that you are all well prepared for this exam next week. You will be expected to relay theory and knowledge around everything we have covered this year instead of brewing in a practical situation," He paused at this point, Hermione was the only one in the class aware of why this was, "So consider this last lesson as a last ditch attempt at getting all the information you require. I will take your questions, as I'm sure most of you have some, during the lesson."

The class went silent, not used to such a kind manner in which their Potion's Professor was offering them his time. Hermione on the other hand seized the opportunity to ask a question and watched with interest as he started speaking animatedly to answer her question rather than ridicule her for asking one. She took heavy notes in response to all the questions asked that lesson, so much so that her wrist and hand had cramped up with the pressure of writing as possible. She had just looked up at her Professor as he held up a vial of bright purple liquid when it seemed to slip through his fingers and she watched it fall to the floor, the substance splattered over the man's shoes as well as the cobbles as it made contact with the stone. Her gaze immediately went to the spot that her Professor was looking before understanding what must have happened.

Severus stared in a mixed of shock and excitement, his wrist hadn't tingled like this for a very _very_ long time. It was a simple message that he was reading, the little green letters on the bangle shining brightly as he held his arm out, still in the position from holding the vial. Harry had messaged him, he was okay, and he had let the man know that he was doing alright.

"Sir, are you feeling okay?"

Severus heard a female voice to his left which effectively snapped him from his daze and he cleared his throat before glancing down at his potion spilt shoes and waved his wand at the mess before continuing where he had left off in his mini speech.

"What you _had_ been looking at was the correct colour of a peace draught. I hope you all took note of the colour as it is very distinct and can be mistaken as another potion, can anyone tell me which potion that would be?"

He waited as a couple of unsure hands rose in the air and he took that chance to think over what had just happened, the main one being, _crisis adverted_ , in reference to him dropping the potion. He had no idea who had roused his thoughts but one glance at the bushy haired know it all in front row told him she knew what had just happened. He wasn't going to let anything else slip from behind his masks, he had heard from Harry and whilst his mind and heart were racing he knew that he could deal with this after class, which so happened to be finishing within the next fifteen minutes.

Harry was sitting on the edge of his bed, his trunk now up on top of the covers so he could properly inspect the contents of it. He had thought the best way to contact the man directly was to slip the bangle back on and send him the message that way. He hadn't elaborated, all it had said was _I'm okay_ , but thought that that would make the man happy. He just didn't know what else to say. As he sifted through his trunk, he came across his old school tie and swallowed a lump in his throat, he was certain that he hadn't packed this with him going away and he hadn't seen it up until now either. He frowned, deep in thought before another flicker of silver caught his attention and the necklace came into view, a pang of regret and sadness wrapped around his heart and unfortunately made him feel more angry than anything else.

He didn't know how much time he had been sitting there for but he figured that classes at Hogwarts had most certainly finished but he hadn't received a reply to his message, then it suddenly occurred to him that perhaps the man had given up as well, taking the bangle off. He was most certainly frustrated, _how could I have been so stupid?_ He didn't really know where the question was really directed at, there were multiple situations where it applied to and this made him even more upset at the way he was living his life currently.

As for Severus, he was now locked away in his living room nursing a tumbler of whiskey, he knew that after the performance the night prior he shouldn't have even been touching the stuff but he thought about endulging this one time. He was also mulling over what he should reply with, _that's good to here? I'm sorry that this happened to you? I miss you? I want you still?_ All these were possibilities but he didn't want to seem presumptuous considering they hadn't spoken in so long. He dragged out a long sigh, he had really gotten himself into a position that, by the looks of things, he wasn't going to get out of any time soon. In the end, he didn't reply to the teen, he considered it too painful acting as though they were still together and slung back the rest of his drink. Looking over at the time he saw that he could brew something before dinner, he had to keep his mind occupied as the aching in his heart continued to wriggle its way into his soul.

At dinner, the majority of Gryffindor house had sat down and were speaking in nervous tones about the upcoming exams. Hermione was the one stressing out the most though she was the one constantly with her nose within the pages of a large tomb. Ron on the other hand was grumbling about the exams although he was quite happy about not having to sit a Potion's final. He had expressed his delight also at the fact that their Professor was clumsy but Hermione had soon straightened him out by telling him he wasn't looking deep enough at the situation.

"Honestly, Ron. Can't you see that something isn't right? I _know_ he was looking at the bangle, _Harry's_ bangle that he gave him. They obviously haven't been speaking and with the tone of Harry's letter the other day can you not see what's going on?" Hermione had managed the whole conversation in a whisper but had fallen on deaf ears as the hall went deathly silent when their Potion's Master walked through the main doors.

"Blimey." Ron said, trying desperately hard to hold in his laughter, the shaking of his shoulders getting worse the longer he held it in.

"It's not funny, Ron I wonder what happened?" Hermione asked in awe.

"Who cares? Git deserved it." Ron snapped back before he let out a loud howl as his laughter broke out.

Severus had had an accident with his potion, both due to the fact he hadn't been concentrating on the potion and because he had been thinking about Harry, and the cauldron had exploded in his face. No matter how hard he had tried to flatten out his hair he couldn't and if you looked really closely you could have seen the frayed ends that had caught fire. He would have stayed in his rooms the remainder of the night if not for the fact he was hungry _and_ would have still had to face the students the following day, _better let them get their jokes out of the way now_ , he had thought when leaving his living quarters.

Just after this had all happened, everyone turned their attention to the owl that squawked as it flew through the open window in the rafters, Hermione and Ron recognizing it instantly as Harry's owl as it deposited a letter in the main bowl of mashed potato.

"I swear that bird has it in for us." Hermione muttered before she cleared of the potato so she could read the letter.

 _ **Do I have "sexually assault me", written across my forehead?**_

Both of the Gryffindor's looked at the letter, both sets of eyebrows raised before they turned to one another. Hermione looked on in disbelief where as Ron looked like he was going to be sick.

"If I ever see that bastard, I'm going to kill him." Ron said with his teeth gritted.

"This must have been what Harry messaged him about in class. Do you reckon he would have said anything in detail about it?" Hermione wondered but Ron simply shrugged his shoulders.

"You'd have to ask that slimy git and I doubt he'll be very easy to get information out – Ow, what was that for?" Hermione had slapped him over the shoulder with her book she had hidden on her lap during dinner and he wasn't happy about the abuse.

"You _know_ why I did that. He's a Professor and if our friend is… You know… Then you should respect that." She hissed quietly at him and he blushed at her words.

Meanwhile up at the Head table, Dumbledore was watching his Potion's Master out the corner of his eye in concern. He couldn't remember the last time the man had had an accident and he wasn't going to be surprised if his laspe in concentration was due to a recent event involving someone he deeply cared about. It saddened him to see the man so down but there were rules and policies around this sort of thing so safeguard the students from situations such as what had happened at Durmstrang, the only thing was that his hands were tied.

"Are you alright, Severus?" It was Flitwick who what sitting beside him but the man didn't answer, only grunted as he looked down into his meal, his appetite disappearing.

"I'm going to write back." Hermione suddenly announced to Ron and when she went to stand up he looked at her imploringly.

"Can we not finish dinner first?" He asked but she was off with her book in hand to write back to her friend.

Ron sighed, he too looking down into his food as he contemplated what was happening at the moment. He missed the looks we was getting from his sister and the rest of his friends that surrounded them, little did they know what was going on, but he wasn't concerned about that right now, he just wanted everything to go back to normal and that meant having his friend back in Hogwarts.

* * *

That night, Harry found himself in the presence of Malfoy again, the notion of them becoming friends very far fetched but he supposed that the boy wasn't actually that bright so if he was going to hurt him, he would have done it by now. They were currently sitting in the Grand Hall for dinner where Harry was trying to ignore the fact he was there but found it difficult when the blonde was trying to strike up conversation with him.

"You ready for the first exam tomorrow?"

Harry couldn't believe he was trying to be so civil, what did Malfoy expect him to say? _Yeah sure, it's going to be great?_ He rolled his eyes instead and kept to himself for the rest of the evening.

The next morning however, Harry was running down the corridor towards the hall for his first exam, after breakfast he had received another letter from his friends and it had made him a little upset. So much so that he had lost track of time and was now on the way to being late for the Transfiguration examination. Luckily he had made it in time and was able to find a seat before the large doors were closed, locking them inside its walls.

He was ready.

Walking out of his last exam a week later, Harry let out a long breath, looking out down the corridor he would see the sun shining so he thought about going outside to catch some rays and to unwind. Exams had been brutal and he somewhat felt under prepared after the first few he had had, he was able to asnwer all of the questions however, but he just felt that a little more indepth would have gotten him the higher scores. As he closed his eyes after laying down in the grass he let everything disappear from his mind, this is what the Occlumency mind block was about and now that he had finished his finals there was some time where he could work on this.

The mental strain from the memories being extracted and the interrogation by the Ministry had been rather tolling and if not for his start on Occlumency he knew that some of Severus's memories would have been mixed up in there. That was one thing he could give their late Professor Viktor credit on, teaching them the basics of this memory magic, it was almost as if he knew something like this would happen but in the end it was of no avail to him, he had been caught.

Harry squinted when something blocked his sunlight and he groaned when Malfoy's blonde hair caught the sun and he grumbled, asking what he was doing.

"You didn't wait for me after the last exam, I was wondering if you wanted to unwind." He offered and sat next to the ex-Gryffindor who was now eyeing him suspiciously.

"Unwind? And what do you class as unwinding, Malfoy?" His voice was almost bitter but he didn't feel bad what so ever.

"This?" He replied and pulled out a flask, the Malfoy family crest on the front of it.

Harry found it on his lap within a couple of seconds and he picked it up to check it over, if he was right about the contents he would definitely join the boy in downing the rest of where ever it came from. They shared a small smile between the two of them and Harry unscrewed the lib before taking a sniff of it, the smell reminding him of a better time and his mind raced when he realised he could get plastered.

"It's Wizarding Firewhiskey. A lot stronger than Muggle alcohol…" He trailed off as Harry nodded before glancing around them.

"Your dorm. We're going to finish the rest of this off." Harry said standing and this time he waited, helped Malfoy up even, before they hightailed it back into the castle.

Malfoy's dorm wasn't much different to his own, there were a lot of Qudditch posters and the like around, he even spied the blonde's Nimbus two thousand and one resting up against the side of a wardrobe. He looked back at the teen who was now sitting on the edge of what was presumably his bed before Harry joined him. It was weird, he would never have guessed he would willingly walk into the same territory as Malfoy but he supposed that the boy had alcohol.. _How Slytherin of me_ , he thought distractedly before he found himself holding the flask to his lips and the burning feeling flowing down his throat.

It took all of ten minutes for them to polish off the flask and when Harry went to stand the room started spinning around him, he heard a small snort from beside him when he gave up and flopped back down onto the bed, his arms splaying out beside him. He knew he was a light weight, he didn't drink that often but aparently a trend was occuring when he _did_ drink. _Surely it's not healthy_ , he thought but then let his eyes roll when he continued that thought with, _Severus would have a fit_. He was having thoughts about such man too often lately and he had to wonder whether this was anything to do with the fact that he would be going back to Hogwarts between Durmstrang finishing them finishing up as well.

"I wanted to _'hic'_ ask y-you something." Malfoy's voice cut through his alcohol filled brain and he turned his head sideways dramatically to look at the boy who was still sitting upright.

"Shoot." Harry replied before his eyes closed again.

"I heard you were involved with Viktor." At this, Harry's eyes shot open and his sat up, way too quickly, and had to blink to focus on the boy in front of him, "I thought so." He continued and Harry stood, pointing his finger at the blonde accusingly.

"Is that why we're here, right now? You want to get the juicy gossip?" Harry said and tried to move away.

"No, it's not that." Malfoy replied and his softer tone made Harry turn around.

"Oh, you have to be kidding me." He sighed when he saw the look on his face, it was clear he had something to do with it as well, _this day just gets better and better_.

He went back over and sat down, he couldn't leave the boy like this, but more importantly he was going to have to sober up before trying to attempt a journey back to his own room. They sat in an awkward silence before Harry watched him reach down into his trunk and pull out the bottle of alcohol they had been drinking and took a massive swig. If he hadn't been drunk he would have told the blonde to stop but he almost felt the pain that the blonde was going through so he didn't stop him, instead he joined him.

The last thing he remembered that afternoon was falling backwards so he was laying across the bed.

* * *

Waking the next morning, Harry couldn't understand why the room looked so different. That was until he felt something warm across his stomach moving and he looked down to find Malfoy sidled up to him. _Oh, Merlin_ , he thought in dispair and noted that there were only two beds occupied apart from the one they were on and everyone apart from Harry was asleep. He didn't know what to do, but mainly he knew he had to get out of there, today they were going to be leaving and he only then realised he'd missed the goodbye feast.

He froze when he felt the boy next to him move but luckily the Malfoy rolled away and Harry used this as his chance to get out whilst he still could. He grabbed his boots off the floor and his brown jersey, not really sure how it had ended on the floor in the first place as well as finding his wand under the bed, _what did I do last night?_ He wondered before looking back at the sleeping teen. He almost felt bad, they had shared alcohol and some of the other stuff was a little hazy and now he was leaving.

"I suggest you just bolt." A deep voice came from behind him and he jumped when he saw a boy sitting up in bed looking at him tiredly.

"He does this all the time, just go otherwise you'll be told to leave." He continued and Harry nodded, if not hesitantly before making his way to the door.

He felt terrible, he completely deserved it however and as he walked the length of the corridor, fresh air filling his lungs, he felt his stomach churn, _uh oh_ , he started running and found the nearest toilet and doubled over. He emptied the contents before dropping to his knees and the harsh cold floor gave him a sharp pain before it wore off and he threw up again. The last time he had been in this position, the bathroom had atleast been clean and he regretted having no one to give him some water to wash his mouth out. So staggering to his feet he dragged himself over to the wash basins and rinsed his mouth before taking in his complexion, groaning as he did.

Ever since he had arrived at Durmstrang he had slimmed down and his face gaunt with the lack of sleep and food but this, this was far worse and he looked as though any moment to drop dead. Realising the implications of showing up in front of his friends looking like this he decided to get himself smartened up, dress robes were required today as it was the last day of school. In some ways he was happy, in others he wasn't really sure. It was all very complicated.

Never the less, after checking himself over again in the mirror he headed towards his own dorm, a shower and then some food, that's what he needed right now.


	12. Chapter 12

.

 _ **Reminder:**_

 _[…]_

 _ **Means memories**_

* * *

Harry's heart hammered forcefully in his chest, he wasn't just nervous he was scared, which almost seemed comical to him if it weren't for the fact he was only going to Hogwarts to see what the Headmaster had planned to do with him over the summer holidays. It was inconvenient, Harry thought, for Durmstrang to have finished a couple of days before Hogwarts did for the year and that was why he was going there. He hoped that he wouldn't have to stay in the castle and that it was only a fleeting visit but that all depended on what the plan was going to be. He sighed, it all seemed too out of his hands.

"Potter."

Harry stopped in his tracks, his red cape wrapping around his front as he turned to see his Highmaster standing in a doorway. He tracked back and came to stand in front of his Professor, bowing his head respectfully before he was ordered to follow the man deeper into the man's office.

"I had hoped to have a word with you before we departed." Karkaroff started and moved behind his desk to sit down.

He nodded to the chair that was in front of the desk and Harry took that as a sign to take a seat. Honestly, the man was looking a little solemn if Harry was completely truthful; it made him wonder if he knew something that he didn't.

"I… am _proud_ to say that you have been one of my students, Potter. You have certainly proven yourself against the likes of Durmstrang's finest young Wizards. I had been hesitant to directly help you throughout the year and am impressed with the way you have grown and learned to defend yourself. Should you so wish, I would, at the end of the following year, accept you as an Apprentice of sorts for one of the Professors, you have proven yourself with what results have been shown to me thus far. You have potential, Harry, don't let anyone tell you otherwise." Karkaroff had now stood by this stage and was looking at Harry with a determination like he had never seen before.

Harry was a little taken back by the words but he couldn't deny what the man had been saying. Over his time, not only had he aced his classes but he had developed an arsenal of different Dart Arts spells and curses that he had trialed out on the boys that had set to torment him. Whilst he wasn't overly proud of this, he still found it slightly humbling that his Professor was almost congratulating him on this feat, as dark as that feat may appear to those outside Durmstrang.

"Thank you, sir." Harry finally choked out and received another nod as the man looked towards the door.

The cool breeze, even though it was coming into the warmer months still had some bite to it, though Harry didn't react, he had his thick Durmstrang dress robes on which seemed to break the chilly air as he approached. His trunk and his owl's cage had already been taken to where ever Harry would supposedly be residing, so all he had to do was be apparated to Hogwarts where his fate would be decided.

"Chin up, Potter. Whether you choose to be returning next year or not, you spent a proportion of the year here and I will not hear word of your incompetence reach me when you are outside these walls, you hear?" The Highmaster's words were gruff but he nodded nonetheless and stood up straight.

"Right, well come along. I don't have all day."

Harry smirked a little at this but diligently followed the Highmaster down the large steps that descended towards the docks, their apparation point just beyond there. It wasn't a long walk and one where Harry could savor the last moments of what he considered to be freedom at Durmstrang. The other boys had left an hour previous on a large ship that would be taking them to the mainland for their families to come and pick them up. Malfoy, true to what the other boy in the blonde's dorm had mentioned, hadn't said anything to him at breakfast. It made Harry wonder how messed and sick the blonde really was but he had to stop thinking about all that now, he was going back to Hogwarts, however short it may be and he was going to see his friends. He turned back towards the castle when they reached the apparation point and took a deep breath before taking Karkaroff's arm, twisting away.

Harry had a lot more grace when they arrived at Hogwarts and he held himself well as the Bulgarian Highmaster stalked up towards the castle. He had to stop and take a second to take in his bearings; the last time he had been on these grounds he had been begging Headmaster Dumbledore to let the Potion's Professor keep his job. Some task _that_ had been and now look at him, he was skinny and humming with magic, he couldn't decide which was going to be better for him.

"Potter!"

Harry heard the deep growl coming from in front of him so he got his butt into gear and walked fast enough so that he could catch up with the man, his red cloak flapping in the light breeze and he had to take a deep breath. It was a lot cleaner here at Hogwarts and immediately he realized that he would give anything to be back within the grounds permanently. _You can thank Severus for that when you see him_ , he thought grimly and immediately his mood soured though he wasn't going to let anyone know what he was thinking.

He looked up at the sky as they walked up a hill by the grounds keepers lodgings, the crisp blue colour slowly faded to a light then dark grey before he heard the tell tale sound of thunder rolling in. It struck him as odd but also there was self-loathing; he couldn't understand why it always clouded over when he was feeling down. It was only a recent development and what had seemed like coincidence at first, now seemed to be almost like a warning but even Harry believed that even he didn't have that much power when it came to weather forecasts.

As they crossed the wooden bridge, Harry could see the main entrance hall to the castle and he found himself holding his breath, the nerves starting to edge away at his calmness, something that he needed to control as students stopped in their steps to watch a _foreign_ student walking behind the formidable Durmstrang Highmaster. A sight, apparently, causing the students to stop in what appeared to be shock as they made their way across the main courtyard.

He could hear whispers, students voicing their confusion and some with delight as they saw the familiar face walking past them. However, now they stepped into the main entrance and Harry could hear the normal chatter from the Great Hall for the lunchtime rush, not that he was hungry though; his stomach was knotting too uncomfortably for him to even consider consuming food.

Harry straightened his back and held his head high, one of his hands fisting as they passed the large open doors into the Great Hall as they continued past it and up the stairs towards the Headmasters office. Unfortunately for him, Neville was coming out onto the stairs at the time and had shouted out to him from above. Harry glanced up and nodded at him, he believed that risking any other movement like a little wave would make his Highmaster frown and he wanted to be dignified in this visit because that's what he truly believed it was. A visit.

They came to a stop outside the gargoyle guarding the Headmaster's office and were soon let in as it revealed the staircase for them to ascend. Harry cleared his throat then crossed his arms over his chest just for somewhere to put them, he didn't want to seem awkward but uncrossed them as they walked into Dumbledore's office, Karkaroff with an air of arrogance and Harry with a set determination to not look weak.

* * *

"Hermione, Ron! He's here! He's really here!" Neville shouted as he ran into the Great Hall, narrowly missing the uneven cobble on the floor as he came to stand in front of them from the other side of the table.

"Who's here? What are you talking about?" Ron said disgruntled at being interrupted with his food.

"Harry." He whispered.

"What?!" Hermione gasped and leaped up, only to have Ron pull her back down again.

"Don't be silly, 'Mione. If he was here, he would be… You know… Right here." Ron said unintelligently and she shot him a dirty look.

"He must be talking with Professor Dumbledore." She concluded and Neville nodded saying that he had seen their friend with a strict looking man.

She sighed and looked over at the head table only to lock eyes with Professor Snape. When she thought about the consequences of her friend's liaison with the man, it was understandable and she was by no means supportive of their relationship, but Harry was her friend and she was concerned for him.

Much like she was now and she turned away from the head table to look up at a worried Neville who was picking through his food. He was mumbling about Harry going to see their Headmaster, she thought this was a good thing because her friend was probably coming back; well she hoped he was anyway. His presence was missed in Gryffindor house.

Ron on the other hand chewed on his meal distastefully, everything that he and his friend had been through now paled in insignificance since he'd been gone. Whilst Seamus and Dean were okay to hang out with, they weren't Harry and Neville wasn't anything special either. Gryffindor had lost terribly in the Quidditch games with their _Seeker of the century_ not in the country, which left the team looking rather red faced and embarrassed to be losing to Slytherin who had ended up winning the cup. He was convinced Slytherin were going to win the House Cup as well for the year if the points system at the front of the Great Hall were anything to go by.

In his anger and frustration, he blamed Harry for this; he had gone and done something disgusting, which caused him to leave. He wasn't happy, although to hear that his friend was back in the castle made him a little hopeful that things could go back to normal if he returned. He was doubtful, but at this stage with exams being marked, any sign of good fortune would be welcomed because he wasn't convinced his grades were going to be that wonderful.

"Mr. Weasley, Miss. Granger," They both looked up at their Head of House as she got their attention, "The Headmaster would like a word with the two of you." She continued with a small smile and at this Hermione jumped up pulling Ron with her.

In the Headmaster's office, Harry and his Highmaster stood proudly in front of the old man's desk. Harry remained silent and stared at the wall behind Dumbledore's head as he listened to their exchanging of pleasantries. He knew that the old Wizard was eyeing him critically, he could feel the drilling stare from where he was standing, but he made sure his mind block was strong so he could look as though he was an obedient student awaiting instruction. He wanted his fate sealed and delivered so he could move on with his summer, he had deserved it after all, especially seeing as his exams had been more than grueling. He had never experienced something so straining on the mind and body, although if he thought about it, he hadn't really ever been as studious as he had been this year and he thanked his time at Durmstrang for that skill.

"Yes, thank you, Igor. I thank you for accepting our young, Harry here at such short notice and it is good to hear his progress with his studies." Harry heard Dumbledore speaking but he knew there was doubt in his words; only a fool wouldn't pick up on it.

"Potter, is a strong man and would continue to do well at Durmstrang, it would be an honor to have him return if he wishes." Karkaroff boasted, it made Harry want to roll his eyes.

"Potter." Harry turned his head when he heard his name being spoken.

"Yes, Highmaster?"

"Good luck, I hope that you stick with your endeavors and hope to see you in the new year."

He nodded in reply before watching the man depart the room with a flare, leaving Harry and the Headmaster alone in the same room. The air soon began to grow thick with tension and Harry clenched his teeth as he made eye contact with the greying Wizard who was offering him a seat.

"So, Harry," Dumbledore cleared his throat and Harry matched his gaze, "You… Have been coping with everything over the past couple of weeks?" His voice seemed slightly unsure but Harry continued to look at him intensely.

"Yes, sir." Harry replied in a clipped manner, the conversation was odd and cold he thought.

"I see. Highmaster Karkaroff was very cooperative in sending a copy of your grades. I must say congratulations are in order for your achievements."

"Thank you, sir."

There was another tense moment and Harry sat there, averting his eyes to pick at some invisible lint on his dark trousers until movement in front of him brought his eyes back on the man in front of him.

"I can tell that you wish to move on with this conversation, Harry." Dumbledore commented as he moved to the side of his desk.

Harry nodded, he was starting to get antsy.

"You will stay at Hogwarts for the remaining nights until school is over, then you will be staying with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley until your birthday. It will then be your choice whether you move into your Godfathers house at Grimmauld Place for the remainder of your summer before we gather again for the new school year. Once you reach legal age then my role is finished and you are considered an adult, therefore you also have the choice of which school to attend in the coming year. I must urge you to think about this seriously and _attend_ a school next year."

Harry thought this over, he didn't think it was the worst idea the man had had and if he was able to decide where he was going to live and what he was going to do, this meant independence. Realization dawned then that he wouldn't be staying at Hogwarts at all over the summer like he had the summer beforehand. This thought made him sigh as his mind flashed images of his time with Severus but he had to block them away. He still sort of believed it was Severus's fault that he was in this situation.

"Yes, sir." Harry replied, his intention to let the man know he wasn't completely adverse to this.

"Good. Now, I have had your belongings brought to your old dorm in Gryffindor tower where you will spend the next couple of nights. Your friends have missed you and are eagerly awaiting your return." At this Dumbledore's eyes glistened somewhat making Harry frown.

"Sir?" Harry asked in clarification.

"They are currently on their way." The old Wizard continued and Harry got a knowing look before nodding and standing.

He almost couldn't believe that he would be seeing his friends again, it felt surreal but he didn't have any more time to contemplate that as seconds later the door burst open and his friends were calling out to him. He turned slowly, his eyes immediately finding Hermione's and she bound over to give him a hug, her arms tightening around him so much so that he felt the wind leave his lungs. He cleared his throat a little and with a mild surge in his magic she finally let go, looking him over with disbelief, he knew his frame was too skinny and his face hollow.

"Oh, Harry, it's – " She sniffed with tears springing to her eyes, "So good to see you again."

He didn't say anything straight away, he was looking at Ron and Professor McGonagall, her piercing gaze showing him that she too knew what had explicitly gone on with he and Professor Viktor. The thought made him sick, but he took a deep breath and regarded the brains of their group, trying to bring a smile to his face but it was hard.

"Hermione." It was more of a sigh before Ron stepped forward and they looked at each other awkwardly.

"I still think you're barking," He started before hesitating, he was obviously referring to the reason why he left, "But you'll always be my friend." He finished and then lunged forward to give Harry a hug as well.

 _Good thing you're not mad because I'll be living with you for half the summer_ , Harry thought and let him go as well as taking a step backwards to address his _new Head of House?_ He bowed respectfully towards her and uttered a greeting.

"It's good to see you, Potter." It looked as though she was going to say something else but her mouth snapped shut when her eyes flickered to his two friends.

He adverted his eyes and looked over to the window, it seemed that everyone in the room knew about his assault, not that he blamed anyone in the room but he knew the pitying looks he was currently receiving from both older Wizards was going to start grating on him by the time he left the school for summer.

"Clearly we need to address the white elephant in the room," He started in a defeated tone and Hermione looked to him with wide eyes, "I'm okay." He said conclusively and a couple of breaths were let out.

"If that is all, Professor, may I please retire?" Harry asked once he had turned to face the man and was given a nod.

At this he took Hermione's hand and pulled her with him, Ron following closely as they passed the Gryffindor Head of House. However, just when Harry was about to put his hand on the door handle, the urging voice of the greying Wizard stopped him and he felt Hermione's grip get slightly tighter.

"Whilst you are here, Harry I must insist you not to seek him out. I am taking a great personal risk having the two of you under the same roof until you are of age. Do not make me regret this decision." Dumbledore was now serious and Harry felt his anger bubbling away as his nostrils flared with the realization of what was being said.

"Professor Snape abused his position over his students. His actions repulse me." Harry fisted his hands that were by his side and the loud clapping of thunder could be heard from outside.

Everyone was surprised by the reaction. Dumbledore wouldn't necessarily say he was overjoyed to see his student act so strongly towards one person, especially considering that person in particular made a genuine mistake, albeit an illegal mistake at the time.

"Believe what you wish, Harry however Professor Snape is still a teacher and deserves that respect." Dumbledore commented as those jaded eyes clouded over with something dark before the person they belonged to turned to walk out of his office.

This was a different person to when he had last laid eyes on the Gryffindor and it concerned him greatly that there was the level of darkness within his soul. He knew he was an old man, however his mind hadn't dulled and he could tell that Harry was in trouble, something about his aura was off, it was dark and troubled, not unlike a certain Potion's Master when _he_ was in High school but that was easily fixed. He shook his head, almost in disbelief at the similarities of the two men before he looked at the time and saw he still had a few minutes before lunch ended so he asked if the deputy was up for a snack before the afternoon workload.

As the trio stepped off the staircase, Harry turned down a corridor without uttering a single syllable. This was a lot to take in; the familiarity of the setting, his friends, the smells and inhabitants of the school, everything was the same. It was almost disappointing for him because it was as if he hadn't left the school in the first place, everyone acting the same and looking the same. He stalked quickly down the corridor, Hermione and Ron exchanging nervous glances at their friend preceding them down the hall but didn't dare utter a word until they were somewhere private. Well, Hermione was hoping that's where Harry was headed, she was soon correct when she knew where he was going.

Gryffindor Tower.

Harry hadn't even thought about the password having changed until he went to speak and realized he didn't know what it was, Hermione promptly stepped forward and spoke it before they were let in. There were some hushed reactions when they saw Harry dressed in different school robes, Ginny jumped up though and gave him a hug, missing the flinch he gave when her arms made contact with him. Dean and Seamus called out welcoming him back and others waved at him but there seemed to be an underlying presence and Harry knew it was centered around the one thing everyone wanted to ask.

 _Why_?

No one asked however and he was free to make his way through to the dorms. Memories hit him hard when he stepped into the familiar room, he had spent five years in this dorm, five years of listening to Ron snore, Neville whimpering through dreams and Dean speaking in his sleep. The enormity of it came crashing around him and he started to shake, dropping to his knees and tears springing to his eyes, he didn't want to look weak in front of his friends but he couldn't contain it any longer and simply just let it out.

"Oh, Harry." Hermione cooed, dropping to her knees beside him and taking his hand.

"Mate, we missed you, it's good to have you back." Ron chipped in but it only made Harry cry and shake louder, his emotions spinning out of control.

They stayed like this for a while before they pulled Harry up and got him over to his bed, their knees sore from kneeling for so long. Harry's owl squawked loudly in protest of being locked up so letting his magic run free he wandlessly and wordlessly unlocked the cage before opening the window so she could fly away.

"Wicked." Ron whispered in awe, he couldn't coordinate his magic quite like that yet.

"Everything has changed yet it hasn't at the same time." Harry finally said when his sobs became softer and less regular.

"I know, but Harry you don't have to tell us what's happened, right Ron?" She shot him a withering look when he was about to protest, "Because we know that this must be hard. Just take your time and relax." She continued and Harry nodded.

"Do you want us to leave you for a bit or – "

"NO!" Harry almost shouted and his body started shaking again, "I've been alone ever since I left Hogwarts." He continued and his friends understood so they got comfortable, Hermione asking if he wanted to know what had been happening around school whilst he had been gone.

With a nod she and Ron started relaying what had happened, letting Harry close his eyes and lay down on his bed so he could listen.

* * *

 _["But it is my fault, Severus," He said quietly, "It was me that – "_

" _No, Harry it wasn't. I could have stopped this if I wanted but I didn't, Harry, I didn't stop this because I fell in love with you." Severus whispered and it made Harry want to cry, seeing his lover, or was it ex-lover, in such a state…]_

Harry slunk through the door of the Astronomy Tower, his tail between his legs as he made his way to the edge, the wind whipping through his grey fur of his Animagus form. He knew standing this close to the edge was risky, his height didn't even reach the first railing but he didn't care, he wanted somewhere to hide away and think. The memories had unfortunately not waited until he was out of the school before they attacked his mind and he could feel a pull in his heart, making it race every now and then but he didn't want to acknowledge that it was the possibility of Severus seeing him for the second time since he'd left. He could remember vividly seeing the man in Diagon Alley when he was with his own Potion's Professor, the look he'd been given with that penetrating stare, it sent shivers down his spine even now.

He had woken about an hour ago, he had slept all afternoon, exhaustion finally catching up with him and he'd missed dinner. Hermione and Ron had brought him some food, saying that they didn't mind him falling asleep and tried to coax him into eating something. He had finally eaten a bit of chicken, only because he had transformed into _Jade_ so he didn't feel so self-conscious of eating in front of them. They were true friends, he had no doubt, he just didn't want to poison them with his darkness, because after lots of thinking he realized that that's what it was, darkness, and it was consuming him he could feel it.

A creaking floor board behind him was enough of a distraction to bring his thoughts back to the now and he quickly ducked under a cabinet so he wasn't spotted and to avoid spotting who ever it was. There were only a few people that he knew of that came up here and neither of them he wanted to see currently so he crept towards the door unseen before it was pushed open and a couple of students giggled. He let out a breath and watched as they started making out and used that distraction to slip through the crack in the door.

He didn't get a wink of sleep after this and lay in his bed tossing and turning the rest of the night. Ron had woken when Harry had gone out of the tower and had been very quick to get Hermione onto the case but when Harry had come back in and the two of them saw him padding through the common room they relaxed. He didn't know what they thought he was going to do, did they think he was going to hurt himself? Or was it that they thought he was going to head down into the Dungeons? He scoffed at that idea but then again, it had crossed his mind a dozen times when he had been up in the Astronomy Tower. No he was going to let the man come to him, if he was that desperate to see him, considering it was his fault, he could drop his dignity and come crawling. _I want to see him though… I think… It really wasn't all his fault either… Was it?_ These thoughts plagued his mind until he gave up and decided to go for a run.

In some shorts and a tee shirt he set off down the staircases and through the front doors outside. Running across the bridge he made for the forbidden forest, he knew he would be safe out there at this time of the morning and not run into anyone, so without stopping he picked up to a run from a jog when he crossed the tree line. It was peaceful at this time of the morning, the sun was just about to break the mountains and shine upon the school, finally it was going to be a sunny day for Harry and he was going to embrace it. He figured by the sun that it was just about six, with the continuation of examinations on this day for the students of Hogwarts there were surely going to be some early risers, so he did a twenty minute round trip before heading back to the castle so he could shower and get ready to face the school.

Not many people had really seen him as he made his way through the school the day prior, he was glad actually but he knew the rumor mill would be churning with his sudden appearance after his equally sudden _disappearance_. This almost quashed his appetite but he knew he wouldn't be able to get away with it this time either and the prospect of segregating himself away in the tower wasn't something he wanted. Luckily, when he arrived back in the dorm, Ron was just waking up and when he saw Harry looking all sweaty and flushed in the face he thought something was drastically wrong.

"I'm fine, Ron. Just went for a run." He explained and then flashed a small smile before heading for the showers.

Once he and Ron were both ready in the dorm they looked to each other awkwardly before the red head spoke.

"You ready mate? I don't suppose many people know you're back."

Instinctively, Harry wanted to retaliate and tell him he wasn't back but deep down he knew that he would prefer to come back here for his last year at school than Durmstrang.

"There's only one person I don't really want to face… But I'll have to at some point right?" It wasn't really a question but they both knew the weight of the situation.

Ron simply nodded and smiled, his friend looked like he actually belonged in the school now without his red robes on. He really did stick out when he was wearing something so bright and rarely seen by others outside of England. Harry was suitably dressed in his black jeans, his dress shoes coming out of the bottom of his trunk and were polished, and to top it off he chose to wear a dark grey shirt. He still felt a little out of place but he wasn't going to wear a uniform to the school he didn't actually attend. He figured Ron must have worked that out even though he was dressed in his school robes, school was still in session so all students were required to until their final feast in a couple of days.

"Good morning, Hermione." Harry greeted formally, she and Ginny were looking him over appreciatively though they both thought he was too skinny and sick looking.

"Hey, Harry I think a hearty full breakfast will really get your appetite going." Ginny tried in a light voice.

He managed a small smile at her and nodded before the group left the Tower for the Great Hall. Hermione asked him if he slept well during their descent of the stairs but he simply shook his head. She understood, there was a lot to take in and she gripped his hand lightly as they got closer to the hall, his grip getting tighter the closer they got until she had to yelp because of the pain.

"No worries." She said shaking her hand, the others looking at her bewildered.

"I can't do this." He whispered and went to turn around.

"Harry James Potter, don't you dare turn around." She hissed and gripped tightly turning him back around.

"You guys all good?" Ginny asked.

"Fine, just go on ahead, we'll be right behind you." Hermione said shooing them away and pulled Harry aside to let others pass him by.

"It's been too long, too much pain and humiliation, I can't do it." By this stage, Ron's stomach had growled angrily so he had gone ahead with the others leaving Hermione to deal to their friend.

"You're not the only one. He's had it bad too; I'm not saying that it's worse but more different. He's had to have Professor's in the room with him during lectures, he's not allowed to be assigned detentions nor to be with any student alone. You didn't see his face when you messaged him the other day with…" She trailed off when she went to grab his wrist to find nothing there, "I could have sworn he – "

"I put it back on for a day, but he didn't reply." Harry responded to her voiced thoughts and she looked at him hurt.

"You'll have to face him at some point. Don't prolong the torture." She said simply and he felt his stomach knotting, what if Severus had messaged him between then and now? Did he even know that he was back in the castle?

"Hello?" Hermione waved a hand in front of his face, "You have nothing to worry about." She soothed and walked a couple of steps ahead, hoping her friend would follow.

Harry did, he took deep breaths and caught up with her. He put one hand in his front pocket as he approached the large double doors and finally when it came time kept his eyes trained forwards when he turned the corner, the scent of breakfast filling his nostrils making his stomach growl. As if by instinct, his eyes travelled straight towards the head table, his heart lurching in his rib cage and his stomach sinking to the lower depths of his body.

Severus wasn't there.

He didn't really know what he was expecting, but the pain in his heart as well as the stabbing disappointment wasn't it. He should have been happy and excited that he wasn't there but instead, he felt nauseous. He felt his mood swinging, in which direction he wasn't sure but at this stage he was being pushed subtly in the direction of his other friends and sat down cautiously, as if he was in some unknown location surrounded by random people.

Thankfully, no one asked him about the change in mood, actually no one was currently speaking to him because he was so far into his own head that they weren't getting a response from him. He sighed, looking at the mouthwatering food in front of him he decided just to go for it and filled his plate; it had been a while since he'd had food like this, the Durmstrang banquets were never this good looking and it was only breakfast. Even more reason for him to decide upon Hogwarts for school next year.

"So, Harry seeing as you don't have exams what you going to be doing?" Dean asked interested and he looked over at the boy not really giving an answer, what _was_ he going to do?

"Go for a fly, mate." Ron said from beside him but he couldn't really bring himself to be thrilled by this, flying just didn't seem right for him.

"I think I might study." He replied noncommittally and Ron nearly inhaled his breakfast.

"Bloody hell, are you serious?"

"Yes. I want to get…" He paused, unsure of where Hogwarts students were at with Occlumency and Legillimency so he leaned over to Hermione and whispered in her ear.

"We won't be starting the block until half way through next year." She said confused and he let out a breath, Merlin forbid they be ahead of Durmstrang on that one.

"We started memory charms just before exams, I'm going to practice up on my Occlumency so that I can successfully navigate through Legillimency." He was a little proud of his abilities, beating Hermione at her own game almost but it didn't exactly give him the satisfaction he was after.

"Isn't that… _Dark Magic_?" Hermione whispered at the end and Harry realized that she was correct.

"Apologies… I-I didn't…" He trailed off, eyes were on him drilling holes into his body and he sighed looking up to find all his friends watching him.

"Durmstrang does the Dark Arts." He stated as if it were obvious and then stood, if they didn't appreciate the Dark Arts then he didn't want to know, he was going to find a quiet place to meditate and work on his block.

"Hey, where are you going?" Ron shouted after him but he shrugged before turning back and waltzing out of the hall.

"Just give him some time, Ron." Hermione placated him, he nodded for the moment but was a little peeved at his friend being so self absorbed, "It's obvious he's struggling." She tried again and saw the boy sag his shoulders, resigning to the fact that she was right.

They were both just going to have to wait until their friend opened up about what happened.


	13. Chapter 13

.

By mid morning, majority of students were in their exams so it was just Harry walking about the castle by himself. He had filled his bag with some notes that he wanted to read over and was currently heading outside, the sunshine too tempting to hide away from. He took his time wandering about, he didn't want to rush through things but he was also conscious of the fact he could bump into a number of people that he didn't want to talk to, Blaise was one of them, he remembered because he had just walked past someone's bag that had a Slytherin scarf hanging out of it.

 _Might just skip lunch,_ he thought suddenly when he passed the main doors. As attention seeking as it was, he had more chance of people seeing him at dinner than any other so they could get their introductions over and done with. He hadn't replied to the Slytherin's letter because he felt nothing for the teen now, he had had his chance at a friendship but he couldn't get over the fact that they wouldn't get together. It was bizarre but he didn't care, the boy had made his bed, much like Severus, so it was time to lay in it.

"'Arry?" He looked up ahead and raised a hand to wave at the game keeper, this was one person he didn't mind seeing again so he went over to have a chat, trying to shake off he sudden feeling of déjà vu.

"Hargid, good to see you again." He greeted and the man took him in for a giant hug, literal not figuratively.

"Same to yer, but Merlin wha' kind of trouble did yer get yaself inta'?" He asked and Harry cocked his head, it was obvious that the man hadn't been told.

He felt a little sorry for the giant, he seemed to miss out on all the information, didn't they think of his as an important member of staff? _Perhaps not everyone was told about my… situation_ , he concluded and tried smiling to steer the conversation down a lighter path than the truth.

"Needed a change, Hagrid. It did me a great deal of good as well."

The man seemed happy for him, but then glanced around suspiciously before turning to Harry with a look that could only promise trouble. He was right, the man asked him if he would like a drink, and no it wasn't pumpkin juice served in the Great Hall at meal times. Harry smirked at this, he wouldn't turn down free alcohol, he just needed to make sure he didn't drink too much otherwise there was no way he could study and people were bound to find out if he was slurring his words. _What a great way to confront Severus though_ , as tempting as the thought was he disregarded it and accepted a small amount from the Giant, their conversation flowing about creatures both light and dark.

It was good talking both trivially and seriously with the man, he really understood the depths of dark creatures and Harry found that he really admired them too. He hadn't had too much to do with them at Durmstrang and their knowledge only extended towards theory of the particularly aggressive and dark creatures Wizards could potentially face. It gave him a new perspective on the world. Now though, he glanced at the time and saw it was approaching lunch and he had told himself he wasn't going to attend.

"Well, Hagrid it's been good to catch up. I'll be staying with Ron for the first part of the summer so perhaps we'll get to see you there at some stage?"

"Tha' would be great 'Arry." The Giant agreed and patted him soundly on the back, opening the door for him to walk out.

He waved his friend off but instead of heading towards the castle he walked a few meters and changed direction, the lake coming into view so he went to sit at the waters edge to have some piece and quiet. He made sure Hagrid had walked off by this stage so he knew that he would be alone for now and it was quite peaceful, the waves lapping over the stones as he sat on a large boulder. It was still a relatively sunny day, the white clouds covering some of the sky by now but the heat was still coming down onto his skin. It was ridiculous how white he had become being in Bulgaria, the sun rarely shone over the school there and when it did it was still very cool.

"Right, memory block." He said to himself.

The notes he was reading from came straight from his Dark Arts textbook where he had added annotations and little pieces of information that he thought would be useful, currently he was reading a passage that said, _think of an image or a scene_ , it seemed easy enough to do so he thought about something that would be appropriate. _Create something terrifying or sickeningly love related_ , their Professor had said that it would depend on who was trying to penetrate your mind.

 _[… "I know you want this, Harry. Just give yourself to me so I can ram my cock in your ass."…]_

Harry shuddered, even now as he read his notes, Viktor's voice sounded in his head bringing an unpleasant memory. This was something he wanted to forget, lock away and never remember again. _Lock it away… The cupboard_ , the idea struck him and he quickly thought of the cupboard under the stairs, the one that he had been locked away in for a majority of his life until he was eleven years old. He closed his eyes, it was now time to sort through his memories, hiding them away in different objects of his room with the ones he didn't want people to find under the loose paneling that he had cracked one day when being thrown in. _Perfect_ , he thought as he sat there through lunch.

"I wonder where he is, hope he's okay." Hermione said as she and Ron sat at the Gryffindor table after their first exam of the day, just one more that afternoon and they would be finished for the year.

"Not like he can get into trouble here now can he?" Ron replied as he shoveled food into his mouth.

"This is Harry Potter we are talking about." She sniffed and looked sideways when she saw a green and black robe coming into view.

"You haven't seen him have you? Only, Hermione is stressing over nothing." The red heads voice was dry and full of sarcasm which Hermione didn't appreciate.

"Seen who?" He asked confused, helping himself to lunch.

"Harry." They said in unison and his eyes nearly popped out of his head.

"He's back? I haven't seen him, no." Blaise looked hopeful for a second before his face dropped and he pushed the food around on his plate.

"He got here last night, I thought you might have seen… Are you okay?" She asked carefully, noting his change in mood.

"He never replied to me is all." He said and Hermione was going to try explain through lying when she realized the real reason he hadn't replied and thought it best not to get involved, she did have her exam in a few minutes so he focus should have been on that.

"I'll mention we saw you." Her voice clipped making the Slytherin frown even further.

"You know why he left didn't you. Why was it? I think I have a right to – "

"Don't even finish that sentence. Focus on your last exam and then find him, we aren't getting involved in this." And with that Hermione stood and left the hall, Ron was going to follow her but he wasn't quite finished yet, luckily however, Blaise stood as well and left to sit with the other Slytherin's so he could eat in peace.

* * *

Hermione walked out of her last exam, stretching her back to get the kinks out before she settled in for a quiet night. Ron had disappeared somewhere so she was just by herself so when she bumped into Harry coming through the main entrance she waved and walked over to him.

"How does it feel?" He asked and she smiled, nodding and explaining how she thought she went.

"What have you been getting up to? Not causing trouble I hope." She tried humoring him and smiled a little and shaking his head.

"Fortunately no, no trouble but seeing as I'm technically not in a house I couldn't get points deducted anyway now could I?" He smiled a little more at saying this and it warmed the girls heart to see him settling in better.

"True, but I know you Harry. Anyway, I'm heading up to the common room, you coming?" She asked and he nodded.

"Oh by the way, Blaise was asking about you at lunch." She said carefully and it got Harrys attention.

"Okay I'll take the bait, what did he want?" His voice slightly cruel and cold but she shook it off before relaying to him what the Slytherin had said.

"Yeah because Malfoy had… I burnt it, I didn't want to reply." He conceded and Hermione looked outraged.

That's not very – "

"Look, I got it at the same time I got both of _your_ letters… So you know, I didn't really feel like it." He took a deep breath, putting the impending image in his mind in the safe place so he didn't have to have a flash back.

"You got them at the same time? But I sent them a few days between?" Hermione sounded confused and Harry shrugged, some days you could rely on the post system and others you couldn't.

When they made it to the common room, it seemed as though there was a party starting up but Harry wasn't really all that interested. Ron came over and hauled them into a corner, whispering about the prospect of there being a bigger do after dinner so that no one would be caught drunk. Hermione voiced her disapproval for such things but Harry couldn't really seem the harm in it, Hogwarts exams were over so as far as he was concerned the party should go on all night. The question was however, was there alcohol?

"Of course there will be. Fred and George have covered that for me. Why do you think I've hidden my trunk for the term?"

Harry frowned, of course he hadn't been here so he didn't know and Hermione was a girl so she hadn't known either. The red head tutted at them, accusing them of having no faith in his abilities, it almost made Harry laugh, _almost_. After this, he excused himself and tucked himself away in the dorm, he needed to put his notes away and when he did he caught sight of the bangle. It was sitting at the top, which was odd because he hadn't put it there before he left the dorm room for the day. Frowning he picked it up and sat on the edge of his bed, all the while thinking, _how bad could it be?_ His thoughts answered when a female voice spoke from the doorway.

"I don't even think he knows you're here. I would have seen him watching us during meals." Hermione said coming in and sitting next to him.

"He'll be there at dinner, won't he?" Harry asked almost nervously and she nodded, it was going to be a large feast to celebrate the final exam and to give out House cup.

"You have to go." She commented pointedly and he nodded after a conceded sigh.

"Well, shall we then? I don't fancy sitting right up the front." Harry offered and she couldn't help but agree for his sake.

Unfortunately, by the time they wrangled everyone together it was later than they expected. Harry tried to remain positive about the situation but he was starting to feel sick again, his heart drumming away in his chest and his palms getting clammy. _This is childish, get a grip_ , he chastised himself as they descended the stairs, inching their way closer to the great Hall. He looked straight a head of him, he was at the back of the group and Ron turned around to see if he was still with them, with a nod exchanged between them both he continued on with the rest of them leaving Harry to step in by himself. He needed to face this, he needed certain key people to see him to show he wasn't dead… He couldn't look weak, _which is exactly what I probably look like_ , he took in a deep breath and held it for a few seconds before exhaling, the large doors only feet away.

"Harry?" He stopped dead in his tracks at the familiar male voice and his eyes cast down to the ground as he tried composing himself.

"I thought by now, you would have come to see me if you've been here for a day already." He didn't dare turn round, he didn't want to focus on this, he needed to get into the hall and sit down with his friends, he needed to –

"You even listening?" Blaise asked irritated as he came into view and Harry eyed him carefully.

"Apologies, it's been a lot to take in. It's… good to see you." It was forced, his response, and it seemed the Slytherin could hear it in his voice so he huffed, rolling his eyes.

"I don't know why you bothered then." He snapped and then walked into the Great Hall, the volume loud and boisterous as everyone excited for exams to be over.

The interaction with Blaise left him feeling dissatisfied and irritated, _if that's the attitude I get then fine_ , he thought and before he realized it a curse that was on the tip of his tongue slipped out and aimed straight for the teen. He was visibly distraught at the sudden action but Harry just stood there as he watch the boy fall to his knees, his hands on his throat as if he were gasping for air. This scene made Harry, not happy exactly, but contented and when his gaze met Blaise's panicked eyes he smirked ever so slightly, the deed was done and the teen was silenced. However his pleasure was short lived when some students came past and tried helping the Slytherin up, it was time to lift the curse and pretend like nothing happened, so he did just that.

With his mind occupied with the recent incident he walked confidently into the hall, his eyes falling on the Gryffindor table as he searched for his friends and found them closer to the front than anything which annoyed him to no end. He kept his eyes trained on Hermione but when he heard an undignified yell from the corridor that sounded a lot like Blaise he growled under his breath and lowered his eyes to the floor. His dark thoughts were returning and there was a loud crack of thunder before lightening followed in the enchanted ceiling of the Great Hall that caused a few students of gasp or shriek in fright.

Glancing up, Harry frowned before taking a deep breath, he had no doubt that his aura was the culprit of the sudden change in atmosphere and he could almost feel his magic prickling around his core as it fought against the positive energy of the school. He didn't stop though and continued to where Hermione and Ron were seated along the Gryffindor table, his friends watching intently and worried as Harry approached with tense shoulders; three Professors sitting at the head table also watching with interest.

"Thought you weren't coming." Hermione said quietly as he went to stand beside her where the free space was.

He didn't answer her however, he just grunted and stood there his attention taken by the movement up at the head table. When he looked up, his eyes instinctively went to the one place where he hoped no one would be, unfortunately this time he wasn't so lucky and his eyes latched on to narrowed dark brown eyes that belonged to one, Severus Snape, Potion's Professor and ex-lover to one, Harry Potter. At the moment their eyes locked, his breath was suddenly caught in his lungs and he had a mind to believe his own curse had been turned upon him when he realized that he was the only one who knew the incantation.

Everything around Harry seemed to fade into nothing, the loud chatter from the students around him ceased to be noticed, all other eyes in the room who he could tell were watching him didn't matter because he had caught the only pair in the room that mattered. He remembered why he'd wanted to melt into those eyes, why he have craved the man's touch and the way he worshiped his body. Seemingly all the hatred he'd harbored for the man fell away and his bare sole was exposed for him to see. It felt like he was looking back into the past because this man hadn't changed, he still looked the same, except for the eyes, they seemed tired and stressed as well as over worked and _worried_.

Harry blinked, thinking his own eyes were deceiving him when he felt a tug on his wrist and the female voice associated with it called out his name effectively snapping him out of his trance. He adverted his eyes in that moment, not that he wanted to mind, and looked at the place setting on front of him. He didn't want to make a scene but he had the sneaking feeling a lot of people had just witnessed this and the dread started to creep into his stomach. His appetite gone.

"What happened to you, I thought you were right behind me?" Hermione whispered but he shook his head, he needed to think about what just happened, analyze the situation and the feelings associated with it.

Harry didn't dare look up from his plate once he had sat down, he could feel a certain pair of eyes boring holes into the side of his head but he wasn't going to retaliate by looking back. It just so happened that not long after all this occurred, the Headmaster stood and announced the beginning of the final feast. If Harry was honest with himself, he didn't really care about all that, he didn't even care that Slytherin had won the Quidditch cup for the year.

"Another year, gone," Dumbledore began and the hall went silent, "I can appreciate you all must be feeling exhausted after all your hard work with exams. I can safely say that I'm proud of each and everyone of you to see how much effort went into the year so well done." He paused when there was a brief moment of applause before continuing.

"Now, time to move on to what you are all eager to hear, the House cup," There was another round of applause and the old Wizard got out a small piece of parchment, "In fourth place, with three hundred and sixty two points, Hufflepuff. In third place, Gryffindor, with four hundred and thirty seven points. In second place, Ravenclaw with four hundred and ninety nine points, which leaves Slytherin with five hundred and twenty one points. Well done Slytherin and well done everyone." There was a louder applause this time that lasted longer as well.

"The time has now come to feast. Begin." Dumbledore said with a flourish and a bounty of food appeared in front of them.

Harry subconsciously licked his lips, this is what he missed among other things, the mouthwatering food and the feasts were something else here. So without further delay he helped himself to a small portion, he didn't think his stomach would be able to stomach something too heavy, not with the way he was feeling currently so he started off small. It only took him about two minutes to finish the helping on his plate when he pushed it away with his cutlery neatly placed on top to signal he'd finished, he just wasn't very hungry in the end. However once he pushed his plate away he felt the gaze again from the side and this time he turned his head, with everyone focusing on the food in front of them Harry had a clear path from where he was sitting to look directly at Severus and the man did not look happy.

He was secretly glad he didn't have the bracelet on; this would have been a situation where he would have had many messages sent to him outlining how little he had eaten. The hard look he was given soon turned into something else and Harry was sure the longer he looked at the man that there was worry or concern etched into the crows feet developing on Severus's pale face. Eventually he had to look away, he could tell there was a glance in his direction from the Headmaster who was sitting right next to Severus and he didn't want anything to look suspicious.

"Please eat something else." Hermione whispered to him and he looked over to her plate, letting her know he'd heard her.

"I'm sorry. I'm just not hungry." He murmured before turning back to his own empty plate, waiting for the others to finish.

Severus was reeling from the scene in front of him and the one thought that was going through his mind was, _why wasn't I told?_ Of course deep down he knew the Headmaster wouldn't have said anything to him but it made seeing Harry all that more painful, not only did it look like Harry had been through the ringer but he looked mentally drained. He wasn't surprised of course, the last few weeks would have been hell for him and it hurt that he couldn't be there for the teen. He had just been thinking about approaching the boy when he heard the Headmaster whispering in hushed tones beside him, _you are not to seek him out, you do not speak to him_ , he sighed and nodded anyway. He wasn't going to go out of his way and find Harry, what did they think he would do, go and storm Gryffindor Tower? If that's even where he was residing, though he had no doubt that's where he was staying, Albus would have been a fool to have him stay anywhere else.

When the ceiling had changed and scared the children that was when he knew Harry was most certainly in trouble, he hadn't seen a reaction to a Witch of Wizard quite like it in a very long time, that person also led a dark path. He didn't even need to look to his right to feel the tension radiating of the Headmaster and the Deputy, he didn't think that the boy would do anything stupid, not in front of so many people who undoubtedly were wondering where he had disappeared to all of a sudden.

Harry was looking at him again now, his eyes jaded and troubled matching his dark aura that he carried around with him. Severus wanted to comfort the teen, speak to him and get him to open up so let the light back into his soul. He wondered briefly where he would be staying over the summer as he couldn't see him staying at the castle like he had the previous summer, nor would they be residing at Spinners End for the summer either, well not until he turned of Wizarding age. It was a sure thing that when Harry was of age he would be on his own, the Guardianship role taken on by the Headmaster would finish, perhaps he was going to stay with his Wealsey friend or even the book worm.

Now he was watching as Harry stood from his friends, leaving them to finish off their dinner and he couldn't help but feel irritated that had hardly touched his food. He was malnourished, skinny and ghost like as if any moment he could crumble into a pile of bones where he was walking. _No, this will no do_ , he thought bitterly and was going to rise from his seat when he stopped himself knowing full well what it would look like. Instead he poured himself some more wine and threw half of the goblet back before turning back to his now cold food. His observations of Harry had put him off his meal.

As for Harry he was now wandering the castle in his Anigamus form, he didn't go back to the common room as he knew it would be filled with rowdy teenagers wanting to celebrate their impending freedom into the summer. He wished he could feel that free and clear but he couldn't shake the depressing feeling that he always carried with him now. The darkness was sucking out the light inside him, as drastic as it sounded but he couldn't hide away from it anymore because Durmstrang had changed him.

* * *

Severus made it back to his quarters after the feast and immediately he sought out his alcohol cabinet and poured himself a healthy glassful, chucking it back to feel the burn on his throat. _No, this won't do_ , he thought sadly to himself before throwing himself down at his desk to mark all the examination papers, he hated this beyond anything over the course of the year but now he had actual test papers to mark, not assessing brewing capabilities like he had in the past. He supposed he deserved this though, after all he had done, karma as some people called it and it was biting him hard.

He was so engrossed in his marking that a few hours later, with his head nearly connecting with the table in exhaustion, he was startled by the portrait clearing his throat and seeking attention.

"Master, Severus." His voice strained and it made the Potion's Master sit up straight and get some fresh ink for the tip of his quill.

"Yes." He replied, not turning around.

"That infernal cat has been pacing the length of this corridor for the past hour, please shoo him away before he starts attacking my frame again."

At this Severus stopped and dropped the quill, _a cat, Harry's Animagus form is a cat_ , his heart started to race and it wasn't from the lack of sleep. Harry was outside and wanting to see him? He wasn't sure but he was going to clarify before he went to the portrait.

"A cat you say?" He queried, turning in his seat to look at the man in the portrait.

"Yes, the same one that used to come in here earlier in the year. My frame was damaged enough the last time he came snooping around." The portrait sneered before leaving the room to guard the front entrance.

Severus stood and walked over to the door but stopped two feet away from it just staring at the back of the portrait. He was in two minds as to what he should do, there Harry was outside his quarters when no doubt the Headmaster would have warned him about seeking him out as Severus had had just before in the Great Hall. _I have to see if he's all right, Dumbledore cannot neglect the state of any occupants within the castle, I will help him, feed him and calm him. Nothing… that would compromise the old fools position… He needs me_ , the war raged on in his head for a few minutes before the guilt and the pain was too much to bare. He placed a firm hand on the back of the portrait and took a deep breath in, trying to calm his nerves and ragged heart beat when finally he pushed the door open and peered out into the corridor.

He looked up and down the corridor but he couldn't see anything, there was no one there. He frowned, the disappointment almost crushing and he let his hand drop to his side.

He was just about to go back inside when he heard a muffled mewl from his left. He froze where he was, unmoving and his gaze firmly fixed on the floor by his shoes, it was hard to believe that Harry would be here, after everything, but he was finally here, ready to come back to him so there was a little hope left within that they could see each other again. His eyes widened a fraction when a little grey cat walked up to him, his tail between his legs and ears flattened against the top of his head. Vibrant jade eyes connected with his own and he felt himself let out a breath that up until this point he had no idea he had held in.

Doing something daring, he slowly bent down, his knee cracking loudly in the quiet corridor as he lowered himself so he was crouching in front of Harry. Well he hoped it was Harry, the actions were not typical of a normal cat but there was no collar around it's neck so he was only assuming it was his green eyed beauty who was sitting in front of him, tail curling around his front paws as they looked at each other.

 _What do I do?_ Severus asked himself, he was going to reach out, his fingers itching to stroke the grey fur when he stopped and turned his head down the corridor when he heard what he thought to be footsteps.

"You shouldn't be – " Severus stopped when he looked back to where the cat had been sitting to find an empty spot, Harry had disappeared.

He stood up at that point and tried looking the other way down the corridor to find nothing moving, so he put his hand on the side of the door, stepping backward so he could close it. When it clicked shut, he let his head lightly thump on the wood, his hands going either side of his head.

"Oh, Harry." He sighed loudly, he had very much liked to have fed the boy, he was too skinny or even given him a hug to ensure he was okay.

 _Meow_.

Severus thought he was hearing things and slowly he pushed himself away from the door and turned around, his eyes immediately finding the grey cat perched on the back of his couch, watching him with his tail flicking from side to side. He swallowed, knowing the implications if someone were to come here and see the two of them, though if he was honest the only person that would be was the Headmaster or even Poppy with no doubt an alcohol filled student.

"Y-You shouldn't be here." His voice was shaky but the cat simply tilted its head to the side and in the silent room he heard a soft sigh.

The older Wizard watched as the cat turned and disappeared out of view, only for a very human looking Harry Potter to appear, his head hung standing in front of the fire facing him. His stomach lurched at the sight of the boy, he looked so broken, like the last time he had been in here but he didn't know what he would do right now that would make the teen feel better. So he just stood looking at the boy, they stood like this for a while both seemingly holding their breath as time passed. Eventually however, Harry spoke although his voice was hoarse.

"I know I shouldn't be here… But I – " He looked up and connected his gaze with the man on the other side of the room, "Couldn't stop thinking about… Coming to see you."

"Likewise, Harry… H-How are you?" He knew it was a stupid question but one he thought would diffuse the tension in the room.

"Fine… I guess." Harry replied but didn't elaborate.

"Why aren't you with the rest of Gryffindor?" He wondered, his curiosity had piqued, the boy hadn't seen his friends for half the year yet here he was in Severus's private quarters.

"They don't need someone like me bringing down the mood." Was the delayed reply and Severus frowned at the answer.

He didn't want to push the boy into anything at this stage but he dared to step further towards him so he could properly look him over, see the damage his lacking diet had caused but when he took one step he saw the widening eyes so he stopped. Perhaps it wasn't going to be the warm reunion he had imagined it would be after all, the though deflating his mood further and he had to look away. He turned towards the exams he still had to mark, which actually wasn't all that many he had to do, so he went over to his desk and sat down. He didn't want Harry to feel cornered, he felt that the Durmstrang Professor who had pushed himself onto the teen had done this so it was up to _him_ as to what he wanted to do. He hoped it would involve staying in the room with him but he wasn't holding his breath.

No words were said after this action and Severus assumed he was going to leave, however he was soon proven wrong when something brushed up against his leg and he looked down at the floor to see the grey form of Harry's Animagus sitting there looking at him. Pushing his chair back a little so he could stand he soon found his lap briefly occupied by said cat before it jumped up onto the table and into a far corner where there were no papers. It was clear what he wanted to do so with a sympathetic look, Severus pulled his chair back in and continued to mark as the grey ball of fur curled into a corner and watched.


	14. Chapter 14

.

Harry was feeling safe, he felt comfortable and could currently feel something warm under his belly. When he felt himself snuggling down onto something soft he opened his eyes a little to see what was happening and saw Severus's face close to his own making him mewl happily. This is what he'd craved, the touch and the warmth that the fire was producing making him drowsy and content. He knew he was dreaming though and closing his eyes fully he rolled over so he could feel the warmth extending the length of his back and fell into another slumber.

When he woke later on, it was to the sound of water running in the next room and he rolled onto his back as he opened his eyes. He had never felt so rested, like he did at this moment, for months but the scenery was wrong, the scent lingering around the room didn't match up and when he fully opened his eyes coming awake and alert he realized that he could hear a shower. Glancing around, his claws shot out and clung to the soft black rug he was laying on in front of the dimly lit fire suddenly aware of exactly where he was. _I'm so dead_ , he thought and went to stretch out his limbs before standing, turning towards the shower door as he heard the water shutting off. He didn't know if he should be here, what would the man say if he still found him here? More importantly would Dumbledore know he was there at this moment?

He didn't have time to move another muscle as seconds later the door handle moved and a door opened to reveal a very shower clean Severus with a towel wrapped around his waist as he walked into his bedroom. It was almost as if the man didn't realize he was there because the door wasn't shut meaning that from his position he could see pieces of clothing and the towel coming into view every so often as the older Wizard was getting dressed. Instead of feeling the heat from arousal, Harry had fear seeping into his organs, his tiny stomach felt as though it was knotting uncomfortably at the situation. _I have to leave_ , he thought but his legs weren't cooperating with his brain meaning he was just standing there as if waiting for the man to come out into the living area and find him.

It turned out he wouldn't have gotten very far anyway when Severus stepped out, raking a hand through his hair as he moved across the room. Harry was confused, he was sure the Professor could see him, he was basically standing in the middle of the room so how he could miss him was a mystery. He felt a little bit defeated by this, so slowly as he could without disturbing the man too much he slinked over to the door though he froze half way there when he heard a surprised gasp from his left and he looked up to see a white faced Severus.

"Harry? You frightened me, I didn't…" He didn't finish the sentence out loud and inside his head he thought, _I didn't think last night was real but a dream_.

Harry too had thought this whole thing to be a distant memory with the spooky feeling of déjà vu he had felt waking up on the rug in front of the fire. It was almost as if the summer previous was on repeat and he was living through happier times again. It suddenly dawned upon him that last night, Severus had most certainly been there and had moved him, he hadn't thought he'd made himself at home on the rug and realized that he had jumped up onto the pile of exams over by the desk that night.

"Apologies… I – I hadn't intended to be here at all last night." Harry explained as he transformed back, he snorted at the absurdity of the situation, "I feel like we've been here before." He continued and then met Severus's eye.

"Indeed." Was all the man could muster before looking to the door, he had intended on going up to breakfast but now he had his boy here he didn't want to go and face the world, just spend his time standing with Harry in his arms.

"I – I should go… Hermione and Ron, they'll be wondering – "

"Of course, no you should be going…"

They stood there awkwardly, Harry couldn't draw his eyes away, all he wanted to do was step forward and wrap his arms around the man but the responsible side of his brain was dominating any other thoughts. It seemed Severus was in the same predicament and he sighed before making his way over to the door, his hand itching to brush against some part of the boy's body as he passed him. Harry transformed as the man passed him and padded slowly to the door, it was opened a little and he made his way out of the slim gap and into the cold corridor. He turned to see if he was going to be followed but the portrait was closed behind him, his heart aching terribly at the sight. _I need to get back to the common room_ , he thought and picked up into a run as to avoid suspicion from the rest of his friends.

Severus turned around once the door was closed and leaned his back on the wood, sliding slowly downwards until he felt the ground hit his backside. Harry had come to see him last night and they hadn't touched once… Well, the time where he had lifted Harry off his desk didn't really count as he felt like a normal cat to touch and what he wanted was the feel the soft hands taking hold of his own just one last time. He had been so close to that wish but he felt as though it would implicate them both… No, he had to do this properly.

After sitting on the floor, looking ridiculous, he stood and brushed himself off. Harry was bound to have left the Dungeons by now so there was no way they could bump into each other at this time. _See, I can follow orders you old fool_ , he thought bitterly as he envisioned the Headmaster watching the situation right now.

Unfortunately when Harry arrived, he had just stepped into the common room, the darkness of the little corridor sheltering him, before he actually stepped into the main area assessing the situation happening before his eyes. He quickly melted down into his cat form before creeping forwards and looking around the room, it was trashed and he could see now why there was a loud female Scottish voice piercing throughout the room.

"… disgrace upon the Wizarding name of Godric Gryffindor not to mention Professor Dumbledore and myself. When I allowed for a celebration at the end of examinations there was absolutely _no_ mention of underage drinking, you should _all_ be ashamed of yourselves. There will be no headache pain relief given out and you will all tidy this disgraceful mess up _without_ the use of magic. It's too bad the House cup has already been awarded because by this mess you would have been last, I do not tolerate this kind of behaviour. Now clean this mess up!" McGonagall finished her speech and huffed, he arms crossing her chest to make her look imposing as ever.

Harry let a breath out, whatever had happened that night certainly had gotten out of control. He probably wouldn't have stuck around for this type of thing anyway last night so he felt justified in his outing last night, though when he looked towards Professor McGonagall again she was eyeing him critically and he swallowed. _Small cupboard, just remember the cramped small cupboard with everything hidden behind the wooden paling_ , he chanted before slinking towards the woman, it was too dangerous to try and make it through the common room with so many people rushing round.

"I didn't think you would have had anything to do with this." She commented as he approached her and he shook his head before ducking as something flew past his head.

Looking over his shoulder it turned out to be a Quaffle, how that had made it into the common room that night he didn't know, but currently what he did know was that a hand was lifting him off the floor. The hand was cold, different to everyone else who he knew would pick him up and he glanced round to the Gyrffindor Head of House who was watching him carefully.

"I don't suppose you'll tell me where you went last night?" She asked quietly and he frowned, the best a cat could before narrowing his eyes.

He knew what she was getting at, but he didn't really know what to say. He decided in that moment that he would deny ever being in the Dungeons, well at least not going into the man's quarters because he didn't want any trouble. So to try and answer her question he growled and shook his head, his claws slowly revealing themselves until she hissed in pain a little and he retracted them. She apologized for suggesting the notion before pulling him close so they could watch the common room slowly getting tidied.

Half an hour later and it almost looked spotless if it weren't for a few stains on the floor. McGonagall huffed and told them she would sort it and dismissed everyone so they could get dressed and ready for the day, at this she put Harry down and raised an eyebrow at him before disappearing through the portrait. Waiting until the majority of Gryffindor's had exited into their dorms he padded over to the stairs, and taking one at a time he managed to make it to the boys dorm where he found the door ajar allowing him to slip through. Everyone's backs were turned so he voiced his arrival making a few of them jump and Ron turn around half angry and half relieved his friend was okay.

"Where did you get to last night? I don't even remember seeing you leave." Ron said, his voice full of curiosity rather than irritation.

"You can't remember anything that happened last night, Ron what are you talking about?" Seamus laughed quietly making the rest of the boy's smile, though not even a tug of a smile was seen on Harry's face, he was just here to shower and change his clothes.

"Oi, shut it will you. I wasn't even that bad." Ron sulked and threw his pillow at the boy's on the other side of the room.

The question about Harry's whereabouts forgotten, which he was rather happy about, he didn't want to lie to them but he knew Hermione was going to be harder to convince. He was able to slip away from the boys and into the showers with no one else questioning him, the hot water felt amazing and he sighed in content as he felt the tension in his shoulders being washed away by the water. He knew he shouldn't have stayed the whole night in the man's quarters, hell, he shouldn't of even been down in the Dungeons to begin with but he couldn't remember a night recently where he had slept that well and peacefully. On another note, he was happy that he wasn't fully conscious when Severus had touched him when picking him up, he didn't know what would have happened if they were both conscious of the contact.

"So, Harry, did McGonagall tell you about the Summer?" Ron's voice flowed over the cubicle wall and Harry closed his eyes as he absorbed the warmth from the water.

"Dumbledore told me the other day that I'll be living with you and your family. I hope you're okay with that." Harry replied and he heard a snort from the other side of the partition.

"Well too bloody bad if I wasn't happy about it mate." There was humor in his voice so he knew that Ron was fine with him staying, though he knew that there would be a time where he would need to explain himself to the red head as well as Hermione.

Perhaps this would be a good chance to gather the courage to speak freely about what happened.

Harry finished up his shower quickly after this and went back into the dorm so he could get dressed. He chose simple today and chucked his tight black jeans on again, as well as his shoes but found a white tee that he could wear. He didn't want to look too formal on the train back to Kings Cross today and no one else was going to be wearing their uniform, well Neville was adjusting his tie when he looked over and saw everyone else in normal clothing and grumbled as he went about to change.

"He had a rough night too." Ron whispered to Harry before they made their way downstairs to find Hermione and the other girls lounging about.

"Why didn't you celebrate with us last night?" Ginny pouted, punching Harry lightly in the arm.

He immediately wanted to turn around and force his wand at her throat for touching him but he resisted, he was after all going to be spending half the summer with her and the rest of the Weasley family. Instead he bristled a little, his eyes grew darker and waved his hand in a dismissive manner to claim he didn't want to a part of the festivities.

"Hmph, be a sour broomstick about it then." Ginny whined and stormed out with Lavender in tow.

"Too harsh?" Harry whispered to Ron but he shook his head.

"Nah, mate, come on I'm starving." The red head announced and with Hermione they made their way out into the corridor, Hermione quick to voice her concern about his lack of attendance last night.

"Slept in the Astronomy Tower." He replied but she didn't buy it and narrowed her eyes at him.

"You _know_ what Professor Dumbledore said, and yet you still went anyway? What were you thinking?" She hissed at him and crossed her arms.

"Hey, he said he was in the Astronomy Tower, he was there okay? Besides, it's not like you missed him anyway, the way you and Gin were parading about." Ron defended surprising both Harry and Hermione with the admission.

"Well, you know… Just don't get caught." She huffed, clearly not convinced but she dropped the topic in favor of teasing Ron about the night they had.

* * *

"Oh thank you, Severus. You got these marked quickly." Dumbledore said as he took the paper with every student's grade from their exams.

"Well what else would I be doing?" He sniffed, before turning around with the intention of leaving the room.

"He came to see you last night, didn't he?" Dumbledore sighed in resignation but Severus didn't make any move to act like he had been caught and barked back his denial of such occurrence.

"Severus, I need to speak with you. If not now then I will come and find you at another time so I would rather you stay so we may get this over with." The older Wizard called from behind his desk.

The Potion's Master sighed this time and pinched the bridge of his nose, all he wanted to do was leave this school and seclude himself away in his home away from everyone and he literally meant _everyone_. He went back over to where his employer was sitting and took a seat from the selection of chairs available, his face full of irritation and attitude, he wasn't going to be nice about this.

"I only wish to inform you of what will be happening with Mr. Potter over the duration of the summer."

"And I care, why?" Severus snipped back, Dumbledore arched an eyebrow at the remark but didn't comment on it.

"He will be residing with the Weasley family until his birthday… From there, because he will be of age, it will be Harry's choice where he goes. I have reminded him about Sirius Black's home in London that has been left to him following Black's imprisonment."

"I will repeat myself, I care, why?" Secretly though he was hopeful about he and Harry finally being together again, he was going to make sure of it.

"Damn it, Severus. You and I both know that the relationship you two share runs deeper than anyone apart from the two of you know of. I am trying to tell you that whilst I am still against the two of you partaking in certain actions I cannot, and the Ministry cannot, stop you being together once he has reached the Wizarding adult age." Dumbledore's voice was strained and Severus knew exactly why he was reacting this way.

"Shared," Was all he replied with and at the confused expression on the Headmaster's face he elaborated, "I thought it looked clear last night that he doesn't want anything to do with me now." And with that he excused himself and stormed to the other side of the room in record time, not stopping when the old Wizards voice carried after him.

 _So, Harry will be living by himself then_ , he thought as he walked back to his living quarters. If that was going to be true then he was going to make damn sure the boy was eating properly, this vision made him incredibly happy and he let a smirk pull at the corner of his mouth as he passed some Slytherin's, wishing them a good holiday.

When the trio arrived at Kings Cross station, they quickly waved off their other friends before the motherly voice of Molly Weasely made its way through the crowds. She was followed by Arthur Weasley and she was soon crushing every one of her children, including Harry, until she was satisfied. Though when her eyes fully took Harry in, she shook her head muttering, _this will not do_ , referring to his slim frame and told him she was going to make them all a large meal when they got back home.

Hermione wasn't going to be coming along just yet, she was spending some time with her parents before visiting the Burrow so they quickly said goodbye with Harry's taking a little longer.

"You know you can write to me about anything? Please, Harry I want you to know I'll listen and not judge you."

"Yeah, I know, Hermione."

"Because I don't want you to self-destruct… I... Things happened at that school and when you're ready to talk about it I'll listen." She continued and Harry nodded before she reached forwards and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, "Just be safe." She whispered before pulling away and looking into his eyes.

"I will, I promise." He assured her before she called out to everyone and disappeared into the crowds with her folks.

"Well, come on then." Molly said, hustling them all together so they could get to the car.

The Burrow was everything Harry had remembered; nothing had changed except maybe the reeds growing taller around the house. When they jumped out of the car, he heard Ron muttering, _home sweet home_ , and he felt a little jealousy at the statement, he didn't have a home; he didn't even have a family. Not that Ron's family didn't think of him as their own but it wasn't the same and he had a feeling Molly knew this when she kept shooting him sympathetic glances when she thought he wasn't watching. It was unnerving. He didn't want to seem rude however, and when they got inside they found a bountiful lunch ready and waiting for them so he sat with the rest of the sea of red heads and nibbled away.

Mrs. Weasley fussed over them all, especially Harry when she thought he hadn't eaten much but after some words from her husband and Ron she backed off, allowing them to settle in for the rest of the day. Thankfully, he and Ron weren't going to be sharing a room and he had one all the way up on the top floor all to himself. It wasn't that he didn't want to be around his friend but the space was welcomed even though he didn't want to be truly alone.

"Up here all by yourself, mate? You should ask Dumbledore to relocate you to the Astronomy Tower, you seem to like being up in the clouds." Ron's voice was full of humor and Harry made the effort to let a small smile creep across his face.

"I don't want to be the negative one in your family, it's probably best up here for me." He sighed and sat on the edge of his bed.

"Look, no one blames you for leaving and Hermione has told me not to ask you about what happened at Durmstrang… But well, I'm concerned."

Harry thought about this for a moment and he looked out the window, he knew he was going to have to tell them both something eventually but now wasn't the right moment. Perhaps a week or so when he was settled and had a chance to think about what exactly it was that he wanted to say. The only problem now was trying to say this without Ron getting offended, which, in all honesty was a hard thing to do but he was going to try anyway.

"I… I know I lied to you both earlier on in the year about… Where I was going and all that so I have learnt that to get by I will need to tell you what it is that's going on but right now I need some space and time to think about what has happened this year. Rest assured, when I'm ready I will tell you." Harry was true to his word about this, there was no deceit and he got the feeling Ron knew this as well.

"Okay then, I'll leave you to it for now… Perhaps tomorrow we could go for a fly?" His friend offered and Harry nodded just to please him, he hadn't actually been on a broomstick since he had originally left Hogwarts.

Harry _did_ take Ron up on the offer, though his hesitance to jump onto his own broom was noticed by the red head before he chucked one of the Weasley brooms at his friend. He didn't know why he was being so cautious but Ron supposed there was a lot his friend had bottled up over the course of the year. He knew he should be worried about this but he was going to trust Harry on this one, trust that he got the answers he needed by the end of the summer. Right now though, he was up in the air watching as Harry mounted the broom on wobbly legs before he pushed off from the ground and slowly rose in the air.

"I guess a Seekers game is out of the question?" Ron asked when Harry slowly made his way over.

"It's been a while." Harry mumbled before gripping the broom tightly and turning it the other way so he could get some distance from the obviously humored red head.

He was a little embarrassed about this, he didn't know what was wrong with him, he was the youngest seeker of the century, he was a Potter legacy when it came to riding a broom, so why did he feel so insecure whilst up in the air? He sighed and narrowed his eyes off in the distance, he had learnt a thing or two whilst at Durmstrang and was going to literally tackle this head on and trust that his magic would save him. So lowering himself over the broom and gripping on tightly he maneuvered himself so he shot off into the distance. The air whipped through his hair and across his face but he wasn't deterred as something blossomed inside him and he took a large breath, holding onto it as he curved off to the side and shot up higher into the air.

He was no where near the Burrow at this current point in time, but just how far away he was shocked him a little when he finally came to a stop and turned towards where he thought the house would be. _Oops,_ he thought as he spied something in the air that seemed to be getting closer, turned out it was his friend and as the boy got closer he almost looked worried before a look of relief washed over his face.

"I see you got your courage back." He almost huffed and Harry rolled his eyes.

"Race you back?" Harry replied with, he didn't want to say something he regretted towards that kind of stab at his abilities, or lack thereof when he first mounted the wood.

"Sure." Ron said and spun quickly, darting back towards the house.

Harry was quick to follow suit and pressed himself against the long wooden broom to minimize the drag created by his upright body. He was quickly gaining on his friend, the red head was by no means an effective endurance Quidditch player as he mainly stayed by the goal posts but he was agile, something Harry was too but his skills were clearly out doing his friends' as they flew side by side. They both arrived at the same time, Harry not wanting to beat his friend too much, and they hovered above the house for a while in silence though Ron broke the silence with a question.

"Sorry for asking, mate but why didn't you want to ride your broom? Is there something wrong with it?" His voice timid, almost as if he was afraid of asking or even upsetting Harry.

"Sev…" Harry sighed and raked a hand through his hair, "Professor Snape brought it for me as a Valentines Day present." He finished, not meeting his friends eye.

"Ay?" Ron was confused and when Harry looked at him he could see his friend frowning so he elaborated.

"He had taken the catalogue from my bag one night after seeing the one I was going to order. He said he was going to take care of it and was going to surprise me the night of Valentines Day… He ended up giving it to me early because of the… state… I was in…" He trailed off, not really feeling too comfortable about bringing up the past like this.

"So… What you're trying to say is that you could have ridden it earlier therefore it was almost because of _him_ that we could have lost against _his_ Slytherins." Ron was looking at him slightly angry and Harry shrugged because when his friend put it like that, its what it sounded like.

"Git." Ron whispered but his eyes went wide and he looked at Harry worried.

"Agreed." Harry said and this time Ron's eyebrows rose in surprise at the admission.

"But I thought – "

"Ronald!" Both boys looked beneath them and saw Molly standing there with her hands on her hips.

"Better go and see what she wants." Ron said before he flew towards the ground to see what his mother wanted.

As Harry looked out into the horizon, the sun was starting to set into the ground and he watched it, caught up in his thoughts. Severus had given him that broom, he had cared enough to spend that obscene amount of money on him for a day that he didn't even believe in and for a sport he hated. It had all been for Harry and he was sure that if the man hadn't of felt something more than a shag between them he wouldn't have spent that time and money. Seeing him at school had been hard as well, not because he hadn't seen the man for a long time but because he was unsure and confused about his feelings. _Gah, I've spent long enough analyzing my feelings on this_ , he grumbled to himself and headed down towards the ground as Ginny was coming out of the house. She smirked at him cheekily and waltzed over.

"I saw you getting on that before. Lost your touch I see." She teased and he bristled at her and frowned.

"I haven't been on my broom since I left." He felt the need to justify himself at that point.

"Figured, but you seem to have found your feet, I bet I could out fly you tomorrow. Seekers game?" She asked and came closer, her hips swaying into his own taking him off guard and he stumbled sideways.

"You're on." He huffed and watched as she walked back inside, looking over her shoulder when she was in the door frame.

True to her word, the following day Ginny put him through his paces and he almost, _almost_ , lost to her a couple of times in the morning before they flopped onto the ground just before lunch that next day. He was puffing hard and he could see black spots appearing in front of his eyes as he blinked, trying to gain a handle on what was happening around him. She was wanting to have one more game before lunch but he had to decline, he knew that if he pushed himself too hard he was going to pass out. He hadn't had a workout quite like this for a good month due to exams at Durmstrang so their Physical Education class had finished.

"Come on then, after lunch you'll be all mine." She said, helping him up before bounding off inside, however what he missed was Harry crumbling back down towards the ground, his legs unable to help him stand.

Ron however had seen everything from the kitchen window and turned away to sit with his family.


	15. Chapter 15

_._

 **#AlwaysAnAussie:**

 **Don't worry, this chapter is the last of the Burrow.**

* * *

 _["Everything okay?" Severus asked as he felt Harry tense._

" _Oh, yeah I just forgot something that's all." He said and looked up to Severus._

" _Uh huh, and what was that?" The man asked._

" _You're Valentine's gift." Harry said, blushing slightly and burying his head in Severus's robes…_

… _Before pulling Severus's gift out he looked up at the man who was impatiently tapping his foot with his arms crossed against his chest. Harry pulled the teddy bear out and dropped his bag before jumping over to Severus and holding it out in front of him with both hands._

 _Severus looked down at the bear that was in a sitting position, holding a red heart shaped pillow that read 'Be My Valentine' and then up at Harry in disbelief but the teen wasn't deterred, he knew how Severus would react and it only made the situation more hilarious._

" _Uhm," Severus cleared his throat, "Thank you, Harry." He said unsurely and then Harry started laughing._

 _Severus took it and looked at it for a second before he felt himself being pushed backwards and he sat down when he felt the bed at the backs of his knees. Harry took the bear from him and put it at the end of the bed before straddling the man's legs._

" _You don't have to like it, Severus but I guessed that you've never really done the whole Valentine's gifting thing… well not that I have either so I thought you could have something… that maybe reminded you of me?" Harry started losing his confidence towards the end and he looked down at the white shirt Severus was wearing…]_

Harry woke from his slumber, flesh covered in sweat and his breathing ragged as though he'd just come down from a grueling Quidditch training session. He felt like crying, in fact when he wiped his face he could feel tear tracks down the sides of his cheeks around his eyes. It had been a month at the Burrow now and he felt even more depressed than ever, he kept having flashbacks and nightmares about the past and possible future that it was starting to drive him crazy. He didn't think he could bottle this up any longer, he needed to get it out and he needed to speak with someone. Severus was one person who came to mind but he knew he owed Hermione and Ron an explanation.

He pulled the sticky sheets off of his body and sat up, placing his feet on the wooden floorboards before standing and going over to the window. He opened it and the warm night breeze rushed in making him shiver as the air whipped over his damp skin. It wasn't long before he heard the creaking of floorboards outside his door and he opened it with the whisper of a spell, it swung open and Ron was standing there, hand poised as if to knock on the door. Harry motioned with his head for his friend to come in and the door was gently closed behind him.

"I heard you dreaming… you didn't seem overly… positive." His stagnated words rung clear through the silent night and Harry nodded.

"Memories." He replied despondently and went to look out the window again, the reeds in the breeze moved in different waves and patterns, it was rather soothing to watch.

"Okay." Ron said and then went to move away when Harry's voice stopped him.

"I first kissed him over the summer break before school started. It was an accident at first… I… His caring nature got the better of my confused judgment."

Ron was stood rooted on the spot, his friend divulging a piece of information that he would have preferred not to hear but it seemed as though Harry was going to open up. He felt as though he needed to treat this situation as if he would be dealing with an unpredictable wild animal so he didn't move from the spot where he stood, nor did he make any sound apart from his increased breathing as his heard started to beat a little faster.

"He helped me through a confusing time. I grew to trust him and in turn… we got to know each other, obviously on an intimate level." Harry continued and then looked over at his friend, even in the dark he could see the teen had a flushed face so he decided to stop and walked back over to his bed.

"Sorry, probably not something you want to hear." Harry murmured but he heard Ron splutter about it being okay and came to sit on the edge of the bed.

"N-No, it's okay." He offered, but looked on with a worried expression until Harry nodded and tucked himself under the covers, he was done speaking for now.

However, the next morning, Harry was up and about earlier than everyone else, he had his own broom in hand this time and he was on a mission. He had never really mastered this new broom before he transferred to Durmstrang so he decided now was a good a time as any, it was also going to be a good distraction for him. He had too many thoughts whizzing through his mind that it was driving him crazy, there was only one person occupying his attention, so much so that he was almost craving the man's touch. He couldn't stop replaying their brief encounter at Hogwarts before term ended over and over, at night was the worst and it would keep him awake for hours. He truly believed that this past week had been one of the worst for lacking in sleep, it was maddening.

He mounted his broom once he was outside and when he kicked off hard he shot off in the air, so fast that he nearly let go of the handle in surprise, he couldn't remember it ever being this fast. A sudden memory of the last Quidditch game he played on this broom stick flashed before his eyes, when he'd taken a corner so tightly he had nearly fallen off by leaning the wrong way; that had certainly sent the adrenaline coursing through his body that day. _Perhaps that's what I need to feel again?_ He wondered as he careered through the tips of the reeds before pulling upwards and flying vertically towards the cloudy sky.

It was an overcast day this morning and when he disappeared into the clouds he felt alone, something that he thought would feel welcome but just made him ache inside. He didn't know when he'd become so soppy, nor when he'd be craving the presence of Severus Snape of all people but the truth was he missed the man. He still had another couple of weeks before this would happen however, until he was of age and would be moving into Grimmauld Place. Even the name sounded depressing about the house, like it had some overbearing negativity placed over the name, he scoffed at that, when he thought about the exterior of Severus's house, nothing could be worse than that sight.

He looked around him and saw nothing there so leaning to the side he rolled upside down before hurtling towards the ground. It was something he hadn't experienced in a while and he pulled up when he started to get uncomfortable, it wasn't a low distance by any stretch and he had definitely done some better maneuvering earlier in the year. He let out a long breath when he thought about this, it was certainly going to be a long summer training to be back on the Quidditch team, even if he was allowed to be back on it. _Do I even want to play?_ He thought briefly but that was an obvious question, his heart was racing and his blood was pumping, of course he wanted to play Quidditch again. He actually really missed it.

He messed around for another couple of hours with his head in the clouds before he turned back towards the house and jumped off as he rounded the back of the house. Ron was standing by the door and he had small smile on his face before Hermione pushed past him and made a run for her friend. Harry didn't really know what to do so he dropped his broom in his haste to attempt catching the girl before he brought them both to the ground. Though when she let go he looked him over with a worried expression and tried giving him a reassuring smile but he knew what she would say, Molly had given up trying to force feed him anything over the past month knowing a losing battle when she saw one. However Miss. Hermione Granger was not going to settle without an explanation and gave him a knowing look before turning back towards the house.

"Good timing, Hermione I was just about to serve up lunch." Molly said as she fussed around the kitchen, placing rolls and various salad ingredients down the long dining table.

"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley. Looks good doesn't it Harry?" Hermione said after turning to her friend as they sat down to enjoy their lunch.

Harry sent her daggers from the other side of the table before settling into helping himself to some food. He lost his appetite though when he remembered the reason for her arrival and he had to really work hard to get the food down his throat and settle into his stomach. He didn't particularly want to talk about Severus or Durmstrang, they both left a bad taste in his mouth but he knew that if he was going to move on with everything he needed to get everything out in the open.

He gave up trying to force food down his throat after a few minutes and received a worried look from Molly, Ginny and Ron and an irritated look from Hermione. He didn't let it get to him, there was only one person who had been successful in getting him to eat anything and _that_ man was probably sitting pretty in his home at Spinners End, sipping on Whiskey in front of the fire with a good book. _I kind of miss that black rug_ , he thought and smiled briefly before he felt himself being lifted by both arms and dragged out the front door.

They made it to the edge of the reeds and Hermione made sure they were comfortable blankets and pillows. She sat and looked at Harry with a pointed expression before she jumped up and waved her wand around the parameter of their blankets.

"Silencing Charm, I love Ginny but I'm not overly keen on her hearing what you are about to tell us." She informed them and Harry nodded, a lump forming in his throat making it difficult for him to swallow.

After a moment, he sighed, his shoulders sagging and looked into the middle of the ground.

"What do you want to know?" He asked, his voice defeated and hands wringing nervously in his lap.

Hermione looked between the two boys before she sat up straight and started the afternoon off by asking what had happened at Durmstrang. Harry gave them a recollection of his first few weeks, Hermione was horrified and Ron angry at the treatment his friend received. Though they both had a tear in their eyes when Harry mentioned about Hedwig, it still stung him even now knowing that his first pet was viciously murdered like she was.

"And that's when I met, Christian. I wouldn't exactly call him a close friend… but he was definitely there for me in the beginning." Harry said, he stopped there, debating whether or not he should tell them about the spells he had created because of him becoming acquaintance of the boy.

"He was the one that introduced me into the, uh… _really,_ Dark Magic." He sighed as he said it, Merlin forbid he get caught on this later for not telling them about it.

"Dark Magic? Durmstrang teaches the Dark Arts, did you learn more than the curriculum?" Hermione asked intrigued but cautious.

"I've… I've created a couple of spells… dark ones… _really_ dark ones." He said in a whisper towards the end and Hermione looked furious at him.

"Harry! How could you? They don't seriously hurt people do they?" She shrieked and huffed at him when he shrugged, guilt written across his face.

"That's kinda wicked." Ron said in almost a whisper and received a smack from Hermione, making Harry feel a little better and they exchanged a look.

"It's not _kinda wicked_!" She admonished, "Harry is lucky the Ministry haven't bailed him up about it." She continued and Harry threw his hands in the air.

"What was I supposed to do, Hermione? They were beating me, bloody making my life a living hell and I can't defend myself?" He suddenly exploded after she mentioned the Ministry; he was still a little sore with them after his interrogation about Professor Viktor.

There was a distant clap of thunder after this and Hermione decided to stop her tirade, her eyes glancing into the distance where a dark cloud hung low.

"Sorry, but I only acted the way I thought would be best… It's also where Viktor came in, but I didn't know that until just before it all blew up and he… you know." Harry tried to explain and both of his friends nodded.

"I guess the next natural progression from that is by me asking what happened between Professor Viktor. If you don't want to talk about it, I totally understand." Hermione said.

"It's okay, Hermione. In a way I think this needs to come out, but only to you guys. I've had enough from Dumbledore and the Ministry about this." Harry said with agitation in his voice, but before he could continue with specifics Hermione was asking him another question and it made his heart race.

"Does, Professor Snape know about it?" Her voice cautious as was Ron's at the mention of their Potion's Professor.

"He knows, but I haven't said any more than 'I'm okay', to him."

"You miss him, don't you?" She continued at Harry's forlorn response and he looked between them for a moment before flopping backwards so he could look up into the sky, his voice despondent.

"Yes, but I also feel hatred towards him, remorse for what's happened and guilty because he… because he clearly… I just don't know." Harry couldn't voice what he was thinking towards the man, it was too complicated to try and communicate that to his friends who wouldn't understand him.

"Back to Viktor though, basically I went to him for a quiet study space, he locked me in his office, he touched me, kissed the back of my neck and before I knew what was happening I was standing in front of the Highmaster's office, banging on the doors." Harry said in a rush and sat up again, trying to play it off as being okay but in all honesty his heart was beating erratically in his chest and he felt like vomiting.

"Wow." Ron said in disbelief and Hermione was nodding her head slowly in agreement.

"He's lost his job, I'm not going to be around him, all is good with the Wizarding world." Harry said feigning positivity and at the addition of this Hermione narrowed her eyes, clearly she had realized he wanted to move on from this topic but she wasn't satisfied.

"So what are you going to do this year then? Are you going to go back to Durmstang?" The question needed to be asked and Harry needed to respond, of course he was more than happy to jump up and down screaming about Hogwarts, but seeing Severus everyday was something he needed to think about.

"You'll be of age, there's nothing Headmaster Dumbledore can do to prevent you from returning. I checked."

"Does that mean you'd get with that git again?" Ron chimed in but cowered away when Hermione went to hit him again.

"What?"

"You know bloody well what, Ronald. He's a Professor, regardless of whether he and Harry are together you show him the respect he deserves." She snapped at him and Harry smiled, he knew she wasn't defending the man but it still made him feel a little better.

He decided then and there that he would return to Hogwarts. He missed his friends too much and if he had to struggle through the last year of his education dodging Severus and not speaking to him then as long as he had his friends he knew he would be okay.

After this, they chatted about various things, they _did_ circle back round to some of the things Harry did whilst at Durmstrang but they skirted around the bad stuff, only trying to focus on what Harry ended up achieving. Hermione was happy to hear that his results were good, albeit she was a little hesitant about congratulating him on his Dark Arts class, but it wasn't as if he had a choice in taking that subject. They talked until the sun began to set and Ron's stomach growled, it was then that they all laughed, it was clearly dinner time if Ron was hungry, not that he wasn't hungry all the time, but considering the temperature had dropped as well as the light they made their way back inside. Ginny gave them some stick for disappearing for the afternoon, but Harry promised to give her a game on their broomsticks the following day to make up for it and Ron said he'd join, Hermione agreeing as well but not as excited.

* * *

The rest of Harry's time at the Burrow flew by and before he knew it, the night of his birthday had arrived. He was a bundle of nerves when he went to bed that night, unsure of how the next couple of days were going to progress and feeling conflicted about going to stay at Grimmauld place by himself. He had no doubts that his friends would want to follow him and stay there too, but he had to draw the line and actually let himself settle into a comfortable routine there.

Even though Hermione wasn't supportive of Harry and Severus being together, she had convinced him that perhaps slipping the bracelet back on his wrist was the best thing for him to do. After being rather cautious about mentioning the man, there seemed to be an underlying essence of concern and Harry wondered why she was acting this way. Her answer was simply enough though, _I just want you to be happy and I know that's how he makes you feel deep down_ , it always surprised him how easily she could read him even after making sure his memories were tucked away, tightly locked away in the back of his mind courtesy of his Occlumency.

When Harry woke the morning of his birthday, it was to a light weight sitting on his stomach and he tried batting it away before he felt a sharp cut slice the upper side of his hand.

"Ow, pest." Harry grumbled as he opened his eyes and found red eyes staring at him.

"Thanks." He mumbled as she hopped off the bed and over to the window sill, she had brought him numerous letters, no doubt they were for his birthday.

The notion made him smile and he looked towards the window, the sun shining brightly outside made him feel wonderful and he leaned back against the metal headboard so he could read the letters and open the package that was there.

Once he opened the letters he gave a small smile, the corners of his mouth only moving upwards a little as he set them aside, he _did_ have some good friends and mentors. Both the Gryffindor Head of House and Headmaster had written brief letters of congratulations as well as a messy scrawl that was from Hagrid. His dorm mates had written as well, a glitter bomb surprising him once he broke the seal on one from Seamus that made him snort after his surprise. Then there was the last letter that had a gift attached, he recognized the writing immediately and he opened the letter hastily, not really knowing how to react to this. Though surprise was the first thing he felt once he finished reading the letter.

 _ **Harry,**_

 _ **Happy Birthday.**_

 _ **I am assuming the last person you wish to speak with is myself, however I came across this journal the other day and felt you should have it. I don't recall how this came into my possession, though I hope you find joy in reading its contents.**_

 _ **Severus.**_

Frowning at his surprise he picked up the small parcel, clearly it felt like a book but it felt light and was thin. He sighed as he pulled back the brown paper and flipped it over in his hands as he assessed the front cover, it didn't look like anything special, just a plain old book until he flicked open the front cover and read the words.

 _Personal Journal of: Lily Evans_

Gaping like a fish Harry quickly turned the page and started to read the first entry. It was his mothers' diary from what he could recall and it seemed that it was when she was in her early years.

 _I'm so excited, I have received my letter for Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry…_ He kept reading, enthralled by the contents until he stumbled upon Severus's name, his heart skipping a beat as he read of a younger version.

… _I was so happy to find out Severus had received his acceptance letter as well. We will be starting the year together and I can't wait to see which house we'll be sorted into. Severus said there are four houses, he hopes we'll be in the same one but I have no doubt we will be, we are so similar. He doesn't think we will be and it makes me sad when I see his hollow looking face when he says things like this. I wish his father would stop hurting him, he has a scratch across his neck today, I know that it's from the belt but he's adamant it was from tripping over the cat…_

Harry stopped reading at this, the stupid thought entered his mind as he tried to imagine Severus as a cat person. He couldn't help it, a wide smile spread across his face as he saw a sour man standing in front of a class holding a cat in his arms, that cat, just so happened to be a grey ball with piercing green eyes. He quickly wiped the smile off his face when he heard the thundering steps of his friend on the stairs and he tucked the journal under his pillow just as the door burst open and a sea of red hair came bounding inside.

"Happy birthday, mate!" He all but yelled and Harry regarded him in slight amusement.

"Thanks." He replied and was then hauled up off the bed.

"Mum's got breakfast ready, Dumbledore is coming afterwards to see you so we don't have much time." Ron said almost desperately and Harry found himself confused.

"Much time?" He asked and Ron looked at him with almost sad eyes.

"He'll be taking you to Grimmauld place won't he?"

Harry didn't really know, he'd though he would be leaving the following day so he could enjoy his actual birthday with his friends. It was really bizarre the way he was feeling currently but when he set his eyes upon the spread over the table he realized what great friends and family-like people he knew. It was more of a brunch considering what the time was but he appreciated it all the same.

All the Weasely's and Hermione were present at this time and for the first time in front of others he let a smile spread across his face. Hermione seemed to be the most surprised to see this, he missed the longing look Ginny was giving him and felt Ron patting him on the bad as he congratulated him of coming into Wizarding age.

"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley. This looks amazing." Harry managed to choke out, but the returning look of gratification was all he needed to know that she didn't mind breaking her back and going all out for him.

"I'll let you kids all get started, then Harry, we have presents." She said enthusiastically and he returned her smile, though as he looked away, there was a hint of sadness to his eyes as he thought of the journal sitting upstairs.

Harry tried his best to eat more than usual, he didn't want to insult Molly by not doing so, and in turn she looked across at him satisfied when she saw him eating more than he usually did. He could tell Hermione was trying to get him to eat more as well because she kept asking him if he wanted something passed over to him. He just accepted it and towards the end tried forcing it down his throat until he really couldn't eat any more and he reclined in his chair, hands on the lower half of his stomach as he nursed it.

"I hope you enjoyed it, Harry. We have a cake as well but I'll let your breakfast settle first. Now, _presents._ " She announced and suddenly a small pile appeared in front of him.

After opening them, Hermione and Ron helped him haul the gifts upstairs where he put them straight into his trunk. When he turned around, Ron was looking at him sadly and Hermione was also looking a little sad so he asked them what was wrong. They were both concerned that he would crawl back into his shell living by himself but he tried to tell them that it would be fine and if he had any issues he would come and see them.

"It's been good to see you smile again like that. I can't remember the last time that was." Hermione commented and Ron had to agree with her.

"It's just been a hard few months, nothing to worry about." He said trying to force a smile to appease their concern.

It seemed to work until they heard Molly yelling up the stairs for them and all three sighed before descending the many stories until they reached the ground floor where Dumbledore stood proudly, his brighter than normal robes reflecting on the bright sunny weather outside and he addressed all three of the teens before looking directly at Harry.

"Might I have a moment, Harry?" He asked and suddenly everyone disappeared leaving the two of them standing awkwardly in the living room.

"I think I'd like to have this conversation outside." Harry said tensely as he walked past the man who in turn followed him until they were out of ear shot of the house.

"Happy birthday, Harry. You must feel liberated that you are now of age in the Wizarding community?" Harry gave him a short smile, he wasn't overly convinced that he felt liberated.

"It certainly feels good, sir." He responded out of politeness and the man nodded before pulling out a small tin that rattled and Harry snorted to himself when he realized they were lollies.

"A small token, it would have been rude not to come bearing a gift." He explained, but Harry nodded his appreciation and gave a small smile.

"I have come to discuss your living arrangements. You still wish to move into your Godfathers house?" He asked and Harry nodded, "Very well, I can take you mid afternoon if you wish so you may get settled in, in the mean time enjoy – "

"Oh, stay for lunch, Headmaster." Molly said as she walked past them and Harry groaned internally, not letting either of them know how he truly felt about that.

"No, I couldn't possibly do that. Thank you for the kind offer, Molly but I must be getting on." He replied before turning back to Harry.

"Have you thought about school this year as well?" Dumbledore asked, he was obviously meaning whether he would be returning to Hogwarts and he simply nodded.

As soon as the man had arrived he left and Harry slowly walked back inside to see a giant chocolate cake sitting on the long dining room table, a chorus of 'Happy Birthday' rung through the air, as terrible as it was, before they got stuck into devouring the cake.

* * *

Harry was all set to go, his trunk was packed and his owl gone somewhere only she would know. He sighed as he stopped at the bottom of the stairs waiting for the Headmaster to come and collect him. Hermione was a little teary eyed and Ron was mumbling about missing out on a good challenging game of Quidditch whilst he was gone. There was a snapping sound of apparation when silence fell upon the living room and soon the Headmaster appeared through the doorway.

"Ready?" Dumbledore asked once introductions and hello's had been said and he nodded.

Staying at the Weasley's had been nice, he'd managed to sort through his head a little, he'd relaxed and even flown around on his broom until he felt comfortable up in the air again, but more importantly he'd been able to see his friends and talk to them. He gave them each a tight hug, Hermione whispering words of encouragement and Ron slapping him on the back wishing him all the best, however there was a certain tension in the air and Harry knew it was around everyone wondering what would happen to him. He could tell his friends were wary about his dark thoughts, but he tried to calm them and told them he would be fine.

All too soon, he was apparating off to London with the Headmaster, moments later the man was taking down some of the protective wards to the home he apparently had inherited for his birthday, courtesy of his locked up Godfather, so that he could actually step inside the house. It didn't look like much from the outside but then the greying Wizard aimed his wand at the house, using what seemed to be a specific series of movements before two houses started to rumble and move outwards, separating to reveal what he could only describe as a derelict house in the middle of Muggle apartments.

"After you, Harry." Dumbledore said as he held his hand towards the house.

He nodded and preceded the man, opening the rusted gate with effort before reaching for the doorknob. Going inside there was a strong scent of must and he could see that dust covered most of the objects he was looking at in the narrow corridor. He was starting to regret his decision to come here, Severus's house would have been better though he would have had to deal with the man's awkwardness but he was here now and felt that perhaps cleaning the house would be good to get his head straightened out. Sure he'd spoken to Hermione and Ron about what had been going on but that didn't mean he was completely sorted, well Hermione had mentioned this to him just before.

"Keep going, the kitchen is just down the end there." Harry followed the man's instructions and sure enough they came to a kitchen that looked suspiciously clean compared to the rest of the house.

"Kreacher?" Dumbledore spoke in the silent room and seconds later Harry jumped when a popping sound came from beside him and a house elf appeared, bending down low in front of the Headmaster.

"Harry, this is Kreacher, he is the assigned house elf for the Black household."

"Hi." Harry said cautiously, frowning at the old elf, he looked nothing like Karsha who was Severus's house elf.

"Kreacher is proud to serve the Noble house of Black." The croaky voice replied and Harry looked to the Headmaster as if to say, _what next?_

As if sensing this, the man took him on a quick tour of the house, he was happy to see an extensive library, though Dumbledore had warned him momentarily about the contents of said library and informing the teen of his Godfathers dark family. They moved on towards the bedrooms at this point and he sighed at the state of them, they didn't look good and briefly wondered why the man was going to let him stay here.

"Up those stairs there is, I believe the attic, there could be anything up there so I urge you to be cautious. Apart from that there is nothing else left to see, are you still sure you wish to reside here?" Dumbledore was clearly giving him an out but he didn't want to stay with Ron any longer, he saw him all year so the distance would be good for their friendship in the long run.

"This is fine, sir. It will keep me out of trouble, I suppose, as I clean it." He replied and with a nod the man went to walk down the stairs towards the front door.

"You know that if you need anything at all, owl me and I will respond, likewise with Molly and Arthur I'm sure they have offered the same."

"Yes, sir they have. I should be fine, Kreacher undoubtedly will ensure I have everything I need."

"Very well… Now, as I have mentioned earlier you are of age, so Professor Snape and yourself – "

"There's nothing going on." Harry replied suddenly and was bewildered at the odd look on the Headmaster's face.

"I don't wish to impede, nor should you feel that I approve of – "

"You've said that before." Harry interjected but snapped his mouth shut at the stern look.

"I do not approve, however, as you are an adult Wizard, I cannot stop the two of you, should you wish to continue your relationship. Just… don't advertise it, for both of your sakes." He finished awkwardly and Harry bristled at the accusation and tone but decided to leave it for now as he watched the man disappear, the sound of distant apparation reaching his ears through the closed door.

 _Well this is going to be fun_ , he thought as he ran a hand through his hair. He looked at his trunk and owl that were sitting at the bottom of the stairs and decided to find a bedroom suitable enough for him to sleep in before he went about trying to find his way around the house. On closer inspection it wasn't the untidiest house he had encountered but it seriously needed a dust off, he suspected Kreacher was slowly, and he meant slowly, working his way around the rooms.

Slowly opening up the first bedroom he came across, he dumped his trunk just inside the door and his birds cage on the messy desk. He glanced down at the papers sprawled across the desk and picked one of them up, it looked oddly like a potion but because the ink was fading away on the exposed parchment he couldn't make it all out.

Harry startled and flinched when he heard the door squeak open but was relieved to find Kreacher slowly walking through, it seemed as though he had some sheets in his hands and he went about levitating and making the bed so Harry had clean sheets. Soon, he watched as the dust disappeared on the surface of everything in the room, the curtains even getting a going over so they looked a little more vibrant than they did when he first walked in. The teen then grabbed his wand from the arm holster and aimed it at the window, it slid up and the fresh summer wind breezed through the room gently giving it a better smell than the must that covered the rest of the house.

"Thanks, Kreacher." He muttered and the elf bowed at his feet before making to leave the room.

"Actually, can you please clean the library and make sure the kitchen is tidy as well. I think I'll only venture into those rooms." He called after the elf and he turned back, muttering his confirmation and heading back out the door.

Looking around the room, he noted it was rather spacious, nothing too large but it was certainly an improvement from his cousins second bedroom in Privet Drive, even this gloomy wallpaper and dark wooden floors was better than that death trap he had called a bedroom. He moved over to the window that was adjacent to the door and peered outside, it was a sunny day today and across the road was the park where he could see children playing with others running. They looked they were having so much and here he was stuck in a house, yes he wanted to be here, by himself and a house elf. _I need to go out_ , he thought but the idea of going out soon went flat when he realized he wasn't the adult age of a Muggle, _damn_.


	16. Chapter 16

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 **Thanks for all the reviews people :)**

 **I hope we are getting back on track with the Snarry ;)**

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After a few days of mucking about the house, Harry found himself laid out in front of the fire on the floor, his mothers' journal opened in front of him as he perused its contents. He had learnt a lot about her through this journal and surprisingly enough he had learnt a few things about Severus. Things such as his home life, his father seemingly being a bastard much like Vernon Dursley and beating him every other day because he was a Wizard. His mother had helped him out a lot during their first year at school and he got the feeling that they were very close friends during this time even though they had been sorted into different houses.

He had just finished the last entry when he sat up and faced the fire, sitting cross-legged on the carpet. There was no rug in this library and Harry had considered trying to find a Transfiguration spell that would allow him to transform something into one similar to what Severus had. As he stared into the fire he thought about the younger Severus and his mother from what he had read, it was clear that he hadn't had the best childhood, in fact it mirrored his own in a way and it made him wonder why the man would send him this, surely he had read the contents of the journal when he had found it?

 _Perhaps he wants me to know that he understands my situation?_ It was then that something clicked in his mind and he stood suddenly, not really knowing what he was doing but he ran to his room and rummaged around his truck, whispering _yes_ when he found the bracelet and slipped it onto his wrist, the light wave of magic washing over him when he had it in place. He assumed this meant that Severus was wearing the other one and in his haste he sent the man quick thanks for the present he had been sent. He just felt that the man should know he appreciated it and that he enjoyed it. There was most certainly a reason why he had been sent this and he wanted to make sure that the man knew he was grateful. He wasn't surprised that he didn't receive a reply but that didn't bother him because he had at least tried to the make the effort to say thank you.

After this, the adrenaline flowing through his system disappeared and he looked down at his wrist with the horrible sinking feeling that he had done something really stupid. Something really stupid. He rolled his eyes and looked around the room before picking up a book from the desk, he had taken to cleaning the room yesterday and whilst he couldn't make out anything on the paper that littered the desk he found a couple of useful potions texts that weren't on the prescribed book list. For what reason? Well the cover was titled, _Unidentifiable Deadly Poisons._ He had been sold at the deadly poisons part, being un-detectable only cemented his reasoning for picking it up and flicking through it, so without further delay he went back into the library and flopped down on the couch.

Severus on the other hand was staring at his wrist wondering what he should do. He was happy to hear that Harry enjoyed reading the journal he had found, it certainly had brought back a few old memories he had wished to forget along with those he wished he could go back and redo. He couldn't actually remember how he had come to possess such a journal and was what made him hesitant to send off in the first place, he didn't want the teen to feel ill will towards him for harboring something of this mothers that was so personal but when he had messaged to say he had appreciated it those thoughts went out the window. He idly wondered what the teen was doing at this point, it had been three days, he guessed, that the boy had been living by himself and reading was obviously what he had been doing in the last hour or two.

He looked at the clock on top of the mantel, he was still at Hogwarts and had some paper work he wanted to do before the new school term started and figured he would get it out of the way first. Harry, of course was at the front of his mind, his eyes constantly going to edge of his desk where the Animagus form had laid as he marked the rest of the Potion's final exams for the year. It was maddening that he couldn't just forget about the boy, he knew it wasn't healthy but in all honesty it was the happiest thing that had happened to him in a very long time getting into a de-facto relationship with him. He didn't want it to end, he wanted to feel happy again, feel like there was a reason to get up and face the unruly students of Hogwarts School.

He could remember the look on Harry's face when he had gone to take a step towards him the other day in here, his eyes going to the spot where Harry had been standing and it almost broke his heart. Even though he had found it difficult to read the teen, he could almost feel what he was wanting and in fact, he wouldn't have come down to the Dungeons in the first place if there weren't something he had wanted. _I'm tired of waiting, I want him back and I'm going to do anything to get what I want,_ Severus declared suddenly to himself and with that he stood, making his way to the bedroom. He was going to get Harry back, the boy had no reason to deny him, he hadn't done anything wrong and they wouldn't be breaking any laws in the process.

He pulled his old black trunk out from his closet and threw it onto the bed before going to his drawers, pulling clothes from within to pack into his trunk. Once he had the clothes he was after from his wardrobe he went into his personal laboratory and picked out some items he thought he might need, there was always the chance he could go back to his house and pick some more items but for now, with what he had in his hand they would be enough. As he walked past his bookshelf and eyed one of the levels but then realized that where he was going there would be many great reads to look through.

After heading back into his bedroom and closing his trunk he summoned his house elf and asked her to take the items with her and deposit them at where he was going to reside, he was fairly confident that his sudden appearance would be a small drama so he chose to wait a while and seek the Headmaster to tell him he was heading out of the castle for the remainder of the holidays.

"Good afternoon, Severus. What can I do for you?" The Headmaster asked as he walked further into the room and stood in front of the man's desk.

"I came to inform you that I will be heading away from the castle for the remainder of the summer." He announced and the greying Wizard nodded in satisfaction for a second before his eyes narrowed and he looked over his half moon spectacles.

"Where, exactly would that be, Severus?" He asked suspicious of the location, though there would be nothing he could do, "Actually, let me rephrase that, where would I be able to _contact_ you?"

Severus inwardly groaned, annoyed that he wouldn't be able to lie his way through this, though honesty was the best policy, he just didn't like the fact he was going to show his hand when he wasn't ready. Truth was he might actually find himself at Spinners End this summer if things were to get ugly. He sighed and looked at the man square in the eye, he wasn't going to lie, he hadn't lied to the man exactly throughout the year so he was going to be straight about this and tell him exactly where he was going.

"Grimmauld Place, I'm sure you know where that is if you need me, however there is such a thing as Owls to post your letters." Severus snipped back at him, he wasn't going to be civil exactly about this, though he hadn't lied.

There was a tense moment between the two of them when Dumbledore seemingly caved and sighed, waving his hand in dismissal and allowing Severus to be on his merry way but not after telling him the password if he were to be using the floo network, which is what he had intended on using.

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Harry was sitting in the library, his nose buried in the elaborately laid out potions book he had acquired, alongside a Dark magic book that had been mentioned in the text that just so happened to be in the Black library. It was rather interesting, the ways people could seriously harm but not leave a trace, his own spell coming to mind when he thought of this and the only damage being a scarred heart. He was rather proud of that spell, sure it did terrible things, but he was proud nonetheless. However the moment was short lived when he heard a popping sound, it sounded much like Kreacher but he knew the elf didn't apparate within the house unless he was called and he hadn't been called.

He stood from his spot on the couch and moved his books to in front of the fire, placing them on the floor before he made his way through the house towards what he thought to be the source of the noise. He was on the third floor where the bedrooms were but he couldn't see anything different, so instead he made his way towards the attic door and flicked his wand, the ladder shooting down towards the floor and narrowly missing his feet. He kept hold of his wand as he ascended the steps and once in the roof space he cast a _lumos_ so he could actually see something. It was much what he expected, there were trinkets and heirlooms stacked along the walls and floor but nothing that he noted to be interesting.

He tossed up between whether or not to inspect the items when he heard a clattering noise from down stairs and he skated down the ladder running towards the kitchen where he was convinced the noise had come from. He had just swung around bannister on the last step and was running towards the kitchen door when it swung open and he ran full steam into a solid body. Falling backwards, he landed with an _oomph_ at the feet of whoever it was and felt a shadow casting over him before he opened his eyes and saw who it was. He was up on his feet like lightening and his wand was gripped tightly in his hand when he surveyed Severus standing there looking a little amused at the scene in front of him, but Harry wasn't impressed.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, his voice unsteady and unsure.

Severus could see straight through the bravado and simply cocked his head a little, a small smirk appearing on his face, he was here for a reason and he wasn't going to be pushed out because Harry didn't welcome him with open arms.

"It's good to see you as well, Harry. Now if you don't mind." He said as he brushed past the almost dumbstruck teen and made his way upstairs to find where his house elf had put his belongings.

He found them in the middle bedroom, the first one he had entered was clearly Harry's if the big _HP_ on the side of the trunk was anything to go by, he was a little surprised to see that he hadn't actually unpacked everything and it was still laying about. Walking in to find his trunk though, he noted the room covered in dust and as he unsettled it, he sneezed and coughed. He pulled his wand out from his pocket and with a couple of flicks the room was dust free and clean. Feeling satisfied he went about putting clothing into the wardrobe and drawers, as well as other pieces onto a clear shelf where he could keep an eye on them. Once completed he moved through the house and found Harry sitting in front of the fire so he decided to make himself comfortable and went to one of the shelves that was lined with books, perusing the titles to find something interesting.

It became abundantly clear that there was nothing here that Harry should be reading, all of these were dark books and some that no student should be getting their hands on. So once he grabbed on down that looked moderately okay he walked past the teen, pulling the book that was in Harry's hand away and tossing it into the fire earning him an alarmed boy who rushed lurched forward wondering what on earth had possessed the man to do that in the first place.

"Are you barking?" He hissed at the older Wizard before turning back to the fire as he watched the juicy Dark magic textbook he was reading alongside the Potion's book burst into flames.

"You don't need to fill your mind with such Dark literature." The man replied as he settled himself into an armchair just behind the green eyed menace.

"It was interesting." Harry muttered about a minute later and was met with a snort from behind him as the man sat quietly in the chair.

They didn't say anything for a while and the atmosphere was thick with tension but Severus was there for one reason and he wasn't going to leave until he was happy that Harry wasn't about to go and destroy something, let alone himself. Ultimately, he wanted to know what had happened within the solid walls of Durmstrang Academy, the boy at least deserved to let him know how it was, that's how he felt about it anyway.

"What are you even doing here?" Harry suddenly said just as the man was about to speak, and to say Severus was surprised was an understatement judging by his eyebrows that disappeared into his hairline.

"To ensure you do not self-implode, though I can see you have done fantastically enough already."

"And what's that supposed to mean? I'm of age, Dumbledore wouldn't have allowed me to be here by myself if he didn't think I was capable of looking after myself." He replied petulantly.

"On the contrary, Harry, he has no choice because as you said, you are now of age. He has no hold on you."

"Hmph." Harry muttered and changed into his Animagus form before slinking out of the library.

Harry was feeling unsure at this point, he had been so set in his Dark Magic ways that for someone to confront him about it was making him nervous. That little voice in the back of his mind was telling him that he shouldn't be doing it but then he had been given the all clear by his Dark Arts professor, _so what if the man was insane, I learnt some good stuff… Didn't I?_ He wondered as he shut the door to his bedroom. On second thoughts though, why hadn't he chucked the Potion's Master out on his ass. The man had just walked on into his Godfathers home as if he owned the joint and he hadn't even told the man to shove it.

As he flopped down onto his bed however, he worked that bit out because in all honesty he didn't want the man to leave, he wanted him to stay. He wanted to have the same sort of thing he had had the summer previous because that had been a moment in his life when he felt like he had someone he could talk to about everything, someone who understood what he was going through and was able to relate in certain situations. He didn't want to admit at that current point that that was what he needed however, he was going to be stubborn about it, especially with Severus.

Severus knew Harry was being stubborn, he could tell in the boys' eyes when he snapped at him that that was a show, a mask that he had obviously been so used to slipping into when approached. It made him sad that it had gotten to this point. He was sure though that the boy would seek him out though, he wasn't going to go after him and corner the teen because he doubted that would work. He didn't want to end up like the Professor who tried his way with the teen but he wasn't going to let Harry get away from him emotionally. A shiver went down his spine when he thought of another's hands on a Wizard he once called his, well maybe he was still his but he wasn't going to hold his breath, a lot of time had passed between them.

After about half an hour of laying on his bed staring at the ceiling, Harry decided to get up though he couldn't go into the library because Severus was in there. He felt an uncomfortable knot forming in the pit of his stomach when he thought of the man and he felt his heart beat just that little bit faster knowing he was so close but he shook his head to rid himself of those positive thoughts. Instead he went over to the attic ladder again and ascended into the loft, he decided now was a good a time as any to have a look around. He heeded Dumbledore's warning however, but he was safe in the knowledge that if anything happened there was now someone who could rescue him. _Not that I want him to mind you,_ he thought as he started to rifle through the first box he came across.

Turned out, there were a lot of secrets that the Black family had and they all seemed to be stored in their attic. He found photo albums, school books and other school related supplies, even a broom stick was found laying behind a couple of boxes. He hadn't even realized how much time had passed being up there until there was a popping sound from behind him and he flinched before realizing it was Kreacher.

"Master, Harry Potter, Master Severus Snape is telling Kreacher to summons you, sir, to say dinner is ready, sir."

Harry frowned at him but then the realization hit him like a bludger and he growled at the house elf even though he knew it wasn't his fault, he was just doing what he was told. He thanked Kreacher and the elf popped away but he didn't make any attempt to go downstairs, for one he wasn't hungry and two he didn't want to be bossed around by Severus. Instead, he gripped the bangle on his wrist and sent the man a message.

 _Thanks but no thanks_.

He was moderately satisfied by this but it seemed Severus was not, and he got a response moments later.

 _It's your favourite and you will eat._

He frowned at the message, the tingling feel he had forgotten about and it felt odd against the skin on his wrist. Nonetheless, he replied again with his decline of the invitation and went back to the box he was going through. He then groaned when he heard someone of a moderate build walking up the stairs, he could tell because the floorboards creaked under the weight of someone stepping on them. He had no doubt it was Severus but he wasn't going to be bullied into eating anything, he wasn't hungry.

"Don't you dare walk up that ladder." Harry called from his kneeling position and when the man reached the landing he noted the footsteps stopped.

"I suggest then that you come down and join me for dinner." Severus replied, his hands were crossed over his chest, he wasn't amused but he knew he would eventually get through to Harry, he had once before and he was going to do it again.

"I'm not a child, you don't have to control my eating habits."

"Oh but you are, Harry. An adult would take care of themselves, so the more you resist the more I will pester until you realize that your actions are petty and juvenile." Severus was hoping this would snap the boy out of his idiotic thinking and come down, he was right of course when moments later he saw Harry jump from the roof, landing on all fours before standing only to glare at the man.

"Fine." He gritted out and threw his hands in the air as he stalked towards the man.

He was just about to pass him on the landing and take the first step down on the stairs when he felt a warm hand grip onto his upper arm and he gasped in surprise as a current of electricity ignited from the source of contact and coursed through his body. His head whipped round in that nanosecond and his eyes locked onto Severus's, the man seemingly having the same reaction from the touch and he let go of Harry's arm as if it was burning him. They stopped and looked at each other, Harry could feel some of the desire from before they were caught filling his stomach and he could see a gentle flush creeping across the man's face as they continued to stare. Harry quickly broke eye contact with the man when he realized what was happening and thundered down the stairs, not even giving his Professor a backwards glance as he headed for the kitchen.

Severus had felt it too, the bolt of electricity that had extended up his arm the moment his fingers had touched Harry's bicep. That was all he needed to know that his feelings were returned, he wasn't an expert on love, nor relationships but there had to be something there between them otherwise it wouldn't have happened. He let out a breath he had been holding that entire time and slowly made his way down to the kitchen where Kreacher had set dinner out for them. It was Harry's favourite, roast chicken with all the trimmings, he knew that if he was going to get Harry to eat it was going to be what he enjoyed the most. Baby steps, small steps until he could trust that in his absence he would eat correctly.

When he entered the kitchen, he saw Harry sitting there picking through the food that was on his plate. He was happy that he had at least started but he wasn't going to let up until he was satisfied he had eaten something more than mouse snacks. It seemed though that he didn't need to force the boy, he was slowly picking away at the food as Severus helped himself to some chicken and vegetables. He couldn't get over what had just happened, that was for certain, he could tell that Harry was suffering as well if the stolen glances were anything to go by. He couldn't figure out what the boy was thinking though, something had changed over the time they had been separated and he was finding it increasingly difficult to get a handle on what was going through the teens' mind.

"What made you send me my mothers journal?" Harry suddenly interrupted the silence in the room and Severus glanced up at him, taking a moment before he answered.

"I was going through a box of things I had laying about my living quarters at school. There, I came across it and believed it should be returned to you." He answered honestly before silence fell on them once again.

This time it extended through to the end of dinner and before long Severus was watching his green eyed house-mate walking out the door and heard him going up the stairs. He sighed, he knew he wasn't expecting a warn reception and that it was going to take more than a few hours for him to get Harry to open up again but he was almost at the point of praying to Merlin that something would happen so they could be together once again. If anyone were to look in on his thoughts at that moment they would most certainly argue that he was being selfish in his desires, that he was pushing himself onto Harry, but the boy knew him or so he hoped, that he wasn't there to cause him pain. At this, he pushed himself away from the table and made his exit as well, leaving Kreacher to clean up as he went into the library; when he didn't find the teen there he decided to have an early night and found his way up to the third floor where the bedrooms were. It was there that he heard Harry rummaging around up in the attic, his curiosity at its pique but he resisted and chose to lock himself away for the remainder of the night.

Harry had heard the man walking up the stairs and with baited breath he hoped Severus wouldn't come up the ladder. He breathed a sigh of relief when he heard one of the bedroom doors opening and shutting, it was then that he got back to looking in a box. He came across another photo album and opened it, flicking through the first few pages but not finding anything particularly exciting so he put it back and went across the room where the other one was. He elected to stay up in the attic for a while as he inspected a photo that looked to have Sirius in it, the caption labeling who was in the photo. There, Sirius had his arm draped over what appeared to be his older brother, Regulus Black.

It was interesting to see the number of different faces that all had the Black name, however that all paled into insignificance when he came across a photo with Sirius, Remus, his father and another teenager he didn't recognize.

"Padfoot, Mooney, Prongs and Wormtail…" He recited as he looked at the names, he had no idea who was who so he just went by the order of them in the photo.

He wondered how his father had the nickname _Prongs_ , he figured Padfoot was in relation to the fact his Godfather was an Animagus, that Remus, being a Werewolf was Mooney because of the full moon, but the other one he didn't know why. _Perhaps I could ask, Severus_ , he thought when he noted they were all wearing Gryffindor uniforms.

He turned the page and he found a photo of what appeared to be at Kings Cross station, there was Sirius and his older brother Regulus but they appeared to be in Gryffindor and Slytherin uniforms. Finding it odd be continued on and his eyes immediately sought out a Quidditch team group photo, the Slytherin Quidditch team to be exact with Regulus. His eyes glanced over the other side of the room, resting on the broomstick that lay under a couple of boxes, _must be the brother's_ , he surmised. At this he stood, leaving the photo album open and went over to pull the broom from under the pile. It didn't look like anything special, in fact he was sure it was a school grade broomstick when he looked at the handle and foot rests.

Feeling slightly disappointed in his find, he put it back but not before seeing the name written across the bottom of a box he had just moved, it read _Siri's Room_ , so naturally his curiosity got the best of him and he pulled it out, opening the top of it and peering inside. He was about to pull out a piece of parchment that lay across the top when he heard a door open and footsteps come closer to where the ladder was. He shut the box suddenly and then walked back over to the album, feeling as though he had been caught snooping but it didn't seem as though anyone was going to come up until he heard the familiar deep voice quietly floating upwards, through the attic hatch.

"I do hope you aren't going to be up there all night, some of us are trying to sleep." Severus hadn't intended on disturbing the teen but he just so happened to be walking backwards and forwards right over his head and he found it irritating.

"You don't have to live here you know." Harry replied from his spot against the wall, he continued to flip through the photos as he spoke.

"Until you stop acting like a child, you will be stuck with me I'm afraid." Harry frowned at the man's words, he didn't like the fact he was being referred to as a child, he was able to live here by himself, that's what the Headmaster had said.

"Stop calling me a child, I'm of legal age so deal with it." He was starting to get irritated by the situation and his hand subconsciously moved to his wand that was strapped to his arm.

"Being of legal age doesn't count for anything if you don't act like one." Severus replied before he took the daring step to put his hands on the ladder, if the boy was going to be smart with him he was going to deal with this head on.

In the end he stepped back and watched as Harry hastily made his way down the steps with a book in his hand, he took another step back when he thought about the personal distance between the two of them and looked at the boy with a raised eyebrow.

When Harry made it to the bottom he turned and faced the man with a glare that rivaled those Freddie first year would get on their first day of Potions with the man. It seemed though that Severus wouldn't be deterred and his eyebrow lifted higher as a challenge for Harry to act childish again.

"I'm not a child." Harry huffed, repeating himself and stalked off to his room so he could look at the rest of the photos in peace.

Severus stood there as he watched Harry slam his door closed, all the while thinking in his sarcastic tone, _oh yes, not childish at all_.

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 **He he he.**


	17. Chapter 17

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 **#CallicaXx:**

 **I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words. It's readers such as yourself that keep me motivated to update my stories. I've tried to make this story feel as real as possible, you might have noticed that in Part I: Broken there wasn't a lot of magic.**

 **Please, don't cry :P I'll try and update my story as often as I can, though working full time is a drag sometimes.**

 **Happy reading, and let me know what it is you would like to see for the story in future, I always love getting ideas and prompts.**

 **xoxo**

 **#Onyx Thanatos Theodore Lerins:**

 **My sweet, I apologize for no kisses or make up sex... But I can't promise that it won't happen in the next chapter :P**

 **#phoenix-rob:**

 **I hope you find what you're looking for in this chapter. In terms of Harry's darkness, I haven't quite yet established his breaking point with Severus.**

 **#TheDevilChild666:**

 **Sexual tension? Hell yeah!**

 **#rushta:**

 **Well I'm glad I could provide something fantastic for your birthday :P Happy birthday btw, I know it's a little late, so sorry about that.**

 **#The Cauldron:**

 **Ok, so my bad with Regulus. Lol we can just pretend that he's the older one hehe.**

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The next few days passed in a similar fashion as their first encounter, Harry tip toeing around the man and Severus trying to not seem like he was force feeding the teenager. It was a testing time for them both, neither of them wanting to admit they wanted to be together and both being stubborn. Currently they were sitting at the breakfast table together, Harry had finally stopped protesting about meals and would show up without being told, he thought himself too grown up to be hammered about meals being ready, much to Severus's delight.

However, this morning was again, tense, why though was a mystery and Harry opened his Hogwarts letter, no doubt containing his class list for the year. Interestingly enough, there was another piece of parchment with the letter, it outlined the grades he had achieved at Durmstrang and what they equated to at Hogwarts, he was surprised that some of this subjects he could choose not to do because of the level he had been tested at the previous year. He hadn't taken Defense though whilst at Durmstrang so he was required to take that, alongside Transfiguration and Charms. Looking across the table at the man in front of him he wondered what his Potion's Professor would say to him already achieving a level high enough to drop out of Potions.

Severus felt the gaze on him and looked up, locking eyes with Harry and raising an eyebrow at him. He wasn't going to ask what the boy wanted, he didn't want to upset him like he had yesterday though that was debatable, the teen had been moping about and he had pulled him up on it. Next minute they were in a screaming match but he wasn't going to be discouraged, Harry had even shown up for dinner that night after the argument. Now though, he watching with interest as he waited for the teen to say something, he didn't have to wait much longer.

"I'm going into Diagon Alley." Harry said putting his mail aside.

"School list?" He replied and Harry looked at him with narrowed eyes before nodding.

"Hmm, I might join yo – "

"I _am_ capable of going myself." Harry snapped and then scraped his chair back before leaving the table.

Whilst Severus was trying to be patient, he was losing his will power to attempt to communicate in a leveled manner with the boy. He simply sighed at the display of petulance and stood himself, leaving the kitchen in favour of shutting himself in his room until he decided on heading into Diagon Alley. Contrary to what Harry believed he _did_ require items in London, mostly potion related but also some for leisure, such as a new good book or even some new robes that he could laze about in at home. He was rather bored of his wardrobe, not that he would let the students in on that little secret of his because he knew they would have a field day, no he wouldn't let anyone other than his house elf see him in these robes.

Both of them left after they had had lunch, Severus taking another ten minutes between Harry's departure so he didn't think he was being followed. It wasn't as though Severus _was_ going to follow him, but he felt he should watch where he was going. It was a pleasing sight to see the boy going into all the usual places, he knew how Harry's brain worked and took to hiding in the shadows when he thought the teen was heading towards Knockturn Alley. He needn't have worried however, as on this day it seemed Harry was going to be a _good boy_ and not stray from the right path. It then left Severus looking a fool if he was honest, thinking the boy was going to blow something up and he himself went down the dodgy back alley to one of his favourite creepy stores.

Harry finally let out a sigh of relief, he knew Severus had been following him, he could sense his magic was close. It was an interesting development, he hadn't realized his senses were so in tune as to allow him to feel the presence of someone specific, however he knew it wasn't just because of his Professor because as soon as he turned towards Gringott's he felt the positive energy of Dean and Ginny as they emerged into the street. He smiled briefly at them but when he sensed they were going to come over he turned quickly and walked away, he couldn't be bothered answering to anyone today and he stopped off in the Quidditch supplies shop to stock up on a couple of things for the year. He may not be able to get out on his broom in London but as soon as they were back at school he was going to be training to ensure he got back on the team. He needed at least one thing to look forward to going back to that castle.

After all his purchases were shrunk into his pocket, Harry made his way through the Leaky Cauldron, he felt like taking a walk through the streets of London, not that he had ever really been out and about before but it occurred to him that no one was there to tell him not to. He smirked to himself a little and backtracking towards Gringott's so he could get some of his money exchanged over into Pounds before he left the Wizarding shops and ventured out into what he referred to as _the real world_ , it was refreshing to see everyone going about their daily lives. His shoulders relaxed and sagged a little as he wandered about, not really leaving the area of the Leaky Cauldron but being far away enough for Wizarding folk not to see him, the anonymity of this relaxing him further.

After grabbing a couple of clothing items, he finally stopped off in what appeared to be a takeaway restaurant that served pizza and chips. He went inside, the smell steering him towards the counter as he looked over the menu. When he had decided on what sounded the best, he looked at the cashier, finding the teenager looking on in boredom from what could only be described as a mundane job as he processed the transaction and gave Harry change.

"It'll be a ten minute wait." He said as he gave Harry a ticket stub that had a number on it.

"Thanks." Harry replied and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans as he waited just outside the door, leaning against the grimy window and looking about the street.

He was feeling rather pensive at the moment and he took a moment to watch everyone go about their lives, this time thinking about how free they must all feel not having life pulling them down, their past experiences weighing heavily on their shoulders.

"Order twenty four."

Harry pulled the receipt out of his pocket and checked the number, one more order to go and it would be his. He hadn't actually done this before, ordering something from a restaurant, although he _had_ been lucky enough to go out with the Dursley's one night for dinner and that was what he was basing his knowledge on.

"Order twenty five."

Harry walked inside, the voice didn't sound like the male one he had been served by and when he looked up at the boy his eyes went wide, out of all the restaurants in London, out of all the people he could have bumped into at this point and there stood Tony behind the counter. At first the boy didn't seem to recognize him until he walked up further and handed over his ticket to get his food, only then did he get an odd look before realization dawned and the boy smiled.

"Harry? Oh my god, I can't believe it. How are you?" Tony asked; he seemed enthusiastic and happy that he had run into him again but Harry didn't really feel the same, their last encounter leaving a bad taste in his mouth and his appetite vanishing.

"I'm okay. You?" He replied out of courtesy but he knew he shouldn't have bothered, it wasn't like he ever wanted to see this guy again, Peter was a different story however but he wasn't currently in the same space as them.

"Oh just the usual. Say, are you back in town for the holidays? You should come round and see us." Tony said, before taking someone's order and handing them their ticket then looking back to him.

"Hey, I'm being serious. What are you doing this weekend? Or even tonight, Thursday's get pretty wild out on the town." Tony said coming this time to stand in front of the counter.

"I, uh, I'm a little busy you know, so perhaps not. It was good to see you though." Harry suddenly felt the need to get out of there.

"We left on the wrong foot, let me make it up to you. You've changed, Harry. Damn, have you changed." Tony's voice full of admiration making Harry's skin crawl but he found himself intrigued, who knew, he might even get to see Peter again.

"What do you have in mind?" Harry asked as he was passed his order.

"Do you remember Damon, he was usually driving us all round at night? He's having a party this weekend, Peter and Mags are going if you want to say hi to them too."

"I'll think about it." Harry replied and went to say goodbye only to be cut off.

"You're looking good, Harry, healthier than the last I saw you. It would be good to hang out with you again." He could sense the desperateness of Tony's voice so he decided to humor the boy and nodded.

"Great, here's the address and my number. Call me." Tony was excited and he scribbled down the details before turning to the lady that had been waiting a little longer than she should have.

Harry walked out of the takeaway, his food under his arm as he walked down the street, he spied a park around one of the corners he had just walked around and decided to eat it on the park bench that he could see. He was tossing up whether or not to take Tony up on his offer, sure the last time they had seen each other he was tonguing another guy but he didn't have to speak with the teen at the party. _He said to call him, on what?_ Harry snorted to himself, being a Wizard sometimes could be tricky, he knew what a phone was but he had never actually operated one before.

"Want some company?" Harry paused, mid bite with his hand poised in the air before he continued eating and nodded for the man to sit with him.

They sat in silence for a few minutes and Harry sighed, he was sick of all this, he needed to get something off his chest because otherwise it was going to drive him crazy. He remembered back to when he was at the Burrow and thinking that all he wanted to do was speak with Severus, well now here they were and after speaking with Tony it reminded him back to the previous summer. It had been _then_ that Harry thought he might have been gay, Severus had witnessed him kissing another boy even if it _was_ just a peck, but he hadn't even said anything about it. Severus was always there to help him, he didn't chastise him or call him out for it like he would have thought. Severus was human, _very_ human if the manhood that dangled between his Professor's legs were anything to go by.

It seemed that Severus was also having similar thoughts as they both went to speak at the same time. Harry puffed air out his nose in a humorous way before he handed the man the chips he had left in the container, offering him some.

"Did you want some?" He asked and met Severus's eye.

"Fried chips? I haven't had these for… Merlin, it's been a while." His voice light and he smirked a little as he took the container into his lap.

"Somehow I don't doubt that." Harry replied and put his hands together in his lap.

"You were going to say something?" His Professor prompted and Harry nodded, not answering until he'd taken a large breath.

"I guess I wanted to ask what was going on with… you know, us… I mean I know I haven't been the most – "

"It's okay, Harry. I am quite sure I understand where the resentment has come from. If you do not wish to continue a relationship with me… then I can," He paused as his voice cracked and he cleared his throat, "leave."

They were silent again, Severus put the empty container to the side and followed Harry's position with his hands laid out on his lap, fingers interlocked with the opposite hand as he looked out over the park. Harry was thinking about what he had just said, it sounded as though Severus was giving up but at the same time he could hear the raw emotion in the man's voice and it struck him suddenly the enormity of the situation. He had this overwhelming urge to let the tear slip down his cheek that he could feel swelling in his eye, blinking he _did_ feel it slowly roll down towards his jaw and at this point he sniffed.

It had caused Severus to turn and note what had happened and he reached out, his index finger brushing Harry's jaw as he wiped the tear away. He didn't want to play this game that seemed to be driving them round in circles, the last few days of actually being with Harry again had shown him how much the teen had changed. It wasn't that he didn't, dare he repeat himself, _love_ , Harry anymore but he wasn't the same boy he was used to seeing. He knew that in time, once they had spoken about what had gone on after they were separated, that he would naturally slip into the same feelings he had once admitted he had towards the still broken green eyed beauty.

"I don't completely _resent_ you, Severus." Harry admitted quietly, the tear track drying as the light wind brushed past them.

"Then what? What do you feel for me, Harry?" Severus turned at this point and faced the boy beside him, the movement causing Harry to turn his head to see what was happening, "I need to know what it is that you're thinking because I just don't think I can do this anymore. I can't be there to support you if, at the end of the day, you can't stand to be around me anymore."

The distress in Severus's voice was Harry's undoing, he had only seen the man bearing this much of his emotions when Severus had demanded to see him after they had been caught, the scene unfolding in front of his eyes as he remembered the man on his knees in front of him, holding his hands whispering that he had fallen in love with the Gryffindor.

"Harry, I need to know what you want." Severus's voice was quiet as they continued to look into each others eyes, Harry remembering how at peace and calm he felt when getting lost in the brown eyes that were shining in the sun lit sky.

Then an idea hit him, he didn't trust his voice at the moment, and it was clear by the shimmering brown eyes in front of him that words were a struggle also. _I'll show him how I feel_ , he thought as he stood. Severus watched on with a look Harry never _ever_ wanted to see again, he looked as though he were about to burst into tears or drive a stake through his heart, he could almost hear the man's beating heart shatter at the prospect of Harry walking away without an answer. That's not what Harry was going to do however, and he held out his hand for the man to take, indicating with his head that they should walk away from this area.

Once Severus had taken the offered hand and followed Harry down the street, it soon became clear for him where they were going and he let himself be pulled along until it was no longer safe to be seen holding hands. After stepping out of the floo in Grimmauld place, Harry walked immediately out into the corridor, they were going to do this in the library because at least it would be comfortable for them to do what he had planned on the couch.

Harry found his heart lodged squarely in his throat as he went to sit down, Severus had followed him and was now taking the other side of the couch before they turned to face each other. It was then that Harry took a deep breath and began explaining what he wanted to do.

"I can't tell you, exactly, what I want but I hope you can find the answer you're looking for in here." Harry said, tapping the side of his head with his wand that he had pulled out.

"I am to enter your mind?" Severus wanted clarification, he didn't want to misinterpret what was being said.

"You'll find my memories sorted into categories. I'm not going to push you out, just… find what you need, whatever you need." Harry confirmed and with a nod, he watched as Severus pulled his own wand and trained it onto Harry, uttering the incantation that would bring him into the mind.

Severus was surprised when he was physically pushed into a dark cramped area, he went to stand and swore as he rubbed his head from hitting it on the roof of wherever he was. He fumbled around in an attempt to find a light before he found a cord so he pulled on it and the little room lit up. He frowned in confusion as he sat on his knees eyeing several jars that were lined across the shelf in front of him, he could see faces of familiar people but some he couldn't identify. He was about to pick one up when he heard yelling from outside the door that had a little vent for light and air to enter through, and he pushed on it to try and get out only to find that he couldn't and it was locked from the outside.

"Blasted boy, can't you do anything right?" The growling voice of someone Severus knew but couldn't place could be heard and held his breath as he tried to hear what was going on.

"I'm sorry Uncle Vernon, I'll be careful next time, I promise." Severus knew that voice instantly, it was a much younger Harry Potter.

He waited, unmoving and very shortly he heard a slapping sound before heavy footsteps stopped outside the door Severus was kneeling behind. He narrowed his eyes as the light streamed in from the door being opened and he cowered in the shadows forgetting that he was inside a fictitious environment when he came face to face with an eight year old Harry who was sporting a black eye and a bloody lip. However this boy was smiling when he turned to face the intruder who was in his cupboard, that's when Severus realized where he was and looked up to find the underside of the staircase above his head.

"Hi." The boy said and Severus nodded.

"Hi." He echoed and the younger Harry smiled more brightly at him.

"I believe you're looking for _these_ memories." The young boy said, reaching towards Severus's arm and knocking aside one of the wooden palings to reveal another jar.

"Look after these, they are the ones that hurt the most." The boy wasn't smiling as much at this and Severus found himself taking the jar with the upmost care, unscrewing the lid with his breath held.

"Harry Potter!" The bellowing voice roared from the other side of the door and Severus looked up to see the beaten child stand, hunched over because he was still too tall for the cupboard.

"Please don't be mad at me in these memories." The young Harry said as he pushed on the door, Severus frowning in confusion only to be met with silence as a large hand came into view and yanked Harry out of view.

He wanted to go after the boy, but he knew his place, this wasn't real, it was something Harry had created in his head. Severus wondered how this could even be possible, he wasn't even navigating his way through Harry's mind, it was being done for him as if he had had training in creating certain memory blocks for Occlumency. He could always ask Harry about this later, but for now he had a jar in his hands that he was unscrewing, the memories floating inside felt oppressed and dark but he looked down on the contents when he felt himself being sucked in.

"What's the matter, Potter?" Severus watched as Harry was cornered and stung with a vicious curse in the corridor.

Harry seemed scared, he looked so different in his Durmstrang uniform, the brown not complimenting him in any way. In this scene he could feel the sadness and the fear from the teen, he looked like he hadn't slept at all, the dark circles standing out against the pale skin of his face. He watched as Harry picked himself up, the tears being hidden by his hair but he heard the distant echo of a sniff as books were picked up off the floor. Soon, this scene faded into black and another one came into view, a situation much the same as what he had just seen, and so on.

These scenarios went on and on until it happened upon one morning when Harry looked dead on his feet, his eyes scanning the room like a cornered animal would when they are on edge. He felt the dread, the rage and the sorrow course through his body as he watched a distraught Harry scream, the hall going quiet as he saw the white feathers of Harry's owl laying on the table smeared with red patches. There was a boy standing next to Harry, he had his hands on the teen's shoulders as he spoke to him softly and led him away from the hall.

"They're going to pay." He heard Harry say, the weather turning bitter and ice cold as the rain pelted down on the two teens standing outside.

"You mean that?" Severus heard the boy say but he couldn't make out their conversation with the rage that he could feel rolling off Harry in copious amounts that it was starting to hurt his chest.

He desperately wanted to hold onto this memory, but he could feel it fading so he tried to refocus on the two boys but was unsuccessful and he found Harry in the library practicing a spell but he had never heard of this incantation before and he found himself walking towards the boy listening carefully. They were soon joined by the other boy that had been with Harry in the other scene, he was asking if the spell was working but Harry was having issues. Suddenly, a green spark emitted from Harry's wand and it had the two in good spirits.

"What does it do?" The boy was asking Harry, but he didn't get to hear an answer because all too soon he was looking at himself standing in the bookstore with Elanor Daskalov, Harry's Potion's Professor and a good friend of his from way back.

He could feel the tension even now, but from Harry's perspective it was full of anger and hatred. He couldn't, at the time when they had seen each other, work out why there was tension but it was clear that Harry was blaming him for what had happened and to say he wasn't surprised wouldn't be anything new to him. He could sense this, the fact they had grown apart, the letters and the messages fading until they didn't communicate at all. Now some of this was making sense, Harry had been angry with him for being caught, angry that they were no longer together and that he now suffered every day at the hands of his peers that bullied him for being weak. He could relate to all of this, how their upbringings were intertwined and were paralleled. In short, he could understand how Harry was feeling.

Severus didn't need to see anymore and was going to pull out of Harry's mind when something caught his attention, the silent but powerful barrier of magic that he shielded himself with as a fellow Gryffindor, Neville Longbottom of all people, went to go and say hello, then the sky, it darkened in a way only a dark Wizard would inadvertently create with the dark aura that surrounded their soul.

The next scene appeared quickly, Harry was knocked to the floor, they were in class and by the looks of things it was a practical class. _This must be the Dark Arts lesson_ , he then thought when he heard the Professor bellowing his disgust at the students. The man then paid close attention to Harry and whispered something, a look struck the boy's face and he looked murderous, his eyes never leaving the boy he was dueling before he raised his wand and yelled a foreign curse at his opponent. At once he saw the burly boy fall to the ground, holding his chest and his throat, unable to get a decent breath into his body. He glanced back at Harry and he was watching on with a mixture of awe and pride but then he looked to have realized what had happened and the feeling of regret flowed through Severus's veins as he felt everything Harry was feeling.

"That curse better not kill him, Potter."

Severus couldn't see anything but he heard the word as clear as Harry could in his right ear, it was the Dark Arts Professor that he had heard speaking before and he frowned. After this, a number of different images flashed past his eyes, they were flying past with such speed that he was having trouble trying to follow them until he felt a body pressed up against him and that very same voice whispering in his ear, the hot breath making his skin crawl.

"Let me make you feel what you deserve."

He could feel the heat pooling in his lower regions, the confusion of his body's reaction to the man pressing himself into his back and the clammy hand pressing into his groin. _Severus would never do this to me, he didn't do this to me, he waited…_ It was Harry's voice going through his own head and he felt the rage rearing its ugly head, this time however it was not directed at Severus but at the Dark Arts Professor who was feeling him up.

The last thing he felt when he returned to the cupboard was regret and an overwhelming sense of guilt, but pride, it seemed, would get the better of his judgment and Severus knew Harry didn't want to seem like the weaker man by admitting how he felt. It was clear that Harry wanted to be with him, that he trusted him and above all was trying to get past the anger that he had initially felt at Durmstrang. Severus finally understood why Harry couldn't say this to him because it wouldn't have come out right but he thought he knew what the teen wanted so he was going to give him some options.

Harry let Severus leave his mind finally once he had secured the jar back into its hiding place and came to, the library room feeling warm and it was only then that he realized how much energy he had used letting Severus through his memories like that. Severus looked a little pale if he was honest but he couldn't exactly pinpoint which part had had him turn this way so he stayed silent and waited for the man to walk out and leave him. He didn't think he would want to deal with someone so broken and damaged with dark magic coursing through his core but he was surprised as time stretched on and they both stayed where they were, unmoving. However Severus finally broke the silence and Harry listened carefully, fearing the worst.

"Thank you for showing me. I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am that you had to deal with all of this. It _is_ my fault, you were right to feel that and I do not feel animosity towards you for that but I am curious, you have been taught Occlumency?" Severus needed to get this answered before anything else, he hadn't seen anyone with such strong abilities, only Albus.

"It was the last subject we were taught in our Dark Arts class," Harry started with a soft voice, "You're not mad at me?" He then asked and watched as Severus shook his head.

"No, Harry. What happened was truly a mistake and I can't tell you how much I wish to make it up to you."

"Are we… How do – "

"Let me show you mine," Severus interrupted and Harry frowned before realizing what the man meant, "This should give you some insight into how _I_ feel and have felt this year." He elaborated and this time Harry nodded, pulling his wand.

"You know the incantation?" There was a slight accusatory tone in the man's voice.

"Like I said, it was the last subject we were taught." Harry repeated, if not slightly clipped in his response before pointing his wand directly at Severus's face.

Immediately he was drawn into a cold and dark world, he shivered as he looked around, unable to make anything out until a memory started to drawn him in, the light from a fire pulling at something within and he walked over. As he got closer he could see Severus kneeling on the floor, his head in his hands and the tell tale sound of sobbing. It definitely took Harry by surprise and he immediately felt terrible, he wanted to scoop the man up and hold him but of course this was a memory and not something he could control. He ducked however when he heard something shatter and the magic around them dance wildly, sparking and making Harry anxious. He never knew Severus capable of such emotion, so raw and powerful that he became afraid he would suffocate.

Listening carefully he could hear the older Wizard muttering to himself but he couldn't quite make out what he was saying and soon enough he was pulled from the memory and found himself sitting in a Potion's class, Severus speaking though he didn't sound like himself. There was a man standing in the corner by the door, he didn't know who he was and had never seen him before but there was a certain tension to the lesson.

"Professor, can I ask you a question?"

Harry watched as Hermione hung back after class and the man at the door came to stand closer by the desk. Harry wanted to speak with Hermione but realizing it was only a memory he felt foolish at this thought. Instead he waited and listened to he conversation, it wasn't anything special she was just asking his opinion of something and wanting extra information about the assignment he had set. Soon enough, he was standing there with just the other two men and watched with curiosity.

"Spare me the lecture, you know as well as I that there was no point in turning her away. My students need to learn."

It was Severus and Harry frowned at the tone the man was using. He then continued to watch as he listened to their conversation, it turned out that he was there to supervise Severus's lessons. It was beginning to dawn on the teen that Severus had it just as rough, not able to assign detentions or keep students back after class, he had even stopped deducting house points because he didn't want to have the drama of people finding out why he had someone looking over his lessons.

The next scene he fell into was one where Severus sat in his armchair, staring into the fire, his eyes flicking down to the black rug that was spread across the floor. Fondness and care flowed through Harry as he absorbed the mans emotions before it was over run by sadness but he realized that there was never regret. He hadn't felt it once, there was remorse yes, but it seemed to be directed at Harry having to deal with this. His Potion's Professor hadn't blamed him once for this whole mess and here Harry was going around cursing people and feeling sorry for himself.

 _I've been so selfish_ , he thought sadly as another memory flashed before his eyes.

"Harry will be staying at Durmstrang over the holidays, it is best for both of you that this happen, I cannot risk the two of you crossing paths."

"What are you expecting will happen, Albus? I've already told you – "

"No, no absolutely not. You will thank me for this, Severus."

Harry found this conversation hard to watch, Severus looked so broken as he fought to have him back for the holidays. Looking back he himself had been a little upset that he couldn't see the man but the next memory that popped up was where he found himself looking at a sickly version of his human form in the bookstore down Diagon Alley. He knew he didn't look the best but taking in the image of his body now he realized how bad he had gotten with the lack of sleep and food. He now knew why everyone looked at him with pity and as he stood there, he could feel the emotions Severus was giving off, the sadness and guilt that flowed through his body.

The rest of the memories were spaced out between then and now, Severus sitting in his arm chair sipping on Whiskey, having nightmares, staring aimlessly into the fire, blowing up cauldrons, moping about the castle as if the love had been sucked out of everything he did and knew. This was a despondent man who looked as though he had lost everything but had only lost one thing. Harry.

Gradually, Harry felt himself being pushed out and he let it happen till before long he was leaning back on the couch much like Severus was as they caught their breath. He was astonished at the amount of energy this took out of them, he wondered if it was always going to be like this or because they were both revealing something mentally exhausting for this to happen. Soon though, Harry saw Severus move and sit up so he was turned looking at him, there was a certain buzz to the room by this point and it made Harry sit up as well.

"You never gave up on me." Harry said to break the silence, his voice almost in awe and he watched Severus nod.

"I knew the day you took your bracelet off, whilst it upset me I know that that was your way of coping with things."

"You haven't once taken yours off?" Harry asked.

"Never." Severus replied, his voice soft as they locked eyes.

Suddenly, Severus stood and tore his eyes away from the green eyes that were making his stomach knot; he was going to leave this house and he was intending on taking Harry with him. He was planning on Spinners End, that way he could keep an eye on the teen and he knew there was nothing there he could get his hands on that would potentially blow them both up.

"Are you leaving?" Harry's voice almost desperate.

"I want to get you away from this house, Harry. It's not good for you to be here, even with someone here with you, there's too many oppressive memories and artifacts that are messing with your aura." He explained and this caused the younger Wizard to stand as well.

"What do you mean?"

"Come to Spinners End with me. Harry, I – " He stopped himself, he didn't want to sound desperate but that's exactly what he was feeling because he wasn't going to lose Harry again.

"I'm not going to push myself on you, I want you to come back with me so I can help you heal. Physically and mentally." He continued to explain and when he saw Harry's head move in a nodding motion his heart skipped a beat and he held in a breath, not quite believing that this was going the way he wanted it to.

"This… It's a lot to take in… I… Is this us getting back together?" Harry wanted to be sure, he couldn't quite comprehend that this was happening and it was escalating at an alarming pace that it made his heart lurch in his chest.

"Did we ever part? Figuratively speaking." The Potion's Master quipped and he was rewarded with a small smile that looked mistakably like a smirk.

"After all this and you still want to have a relationship with me?" Harry ended up retorting and almost as if someone had cast a spell the mood lifted ten fold, the lightness taking Harry by surprise as sun streamed through the window.

Severus went all serious this time and he took a large step forward so there was only a foot between them, his height towering above Harry as he reached out with a hand to cups his face. Harry closed his eyes at the familiarity of the action and took in a deep breath, he could smell his Professor's scent from working with potions all day, the warmth of the hand on his cheek and jaw creating a soft buzz in his lower regions. This realization made his eyes snap open only to find Severus's face inches away from his own, chocolate eyes shining brightly in the renewed light of the room.

"Harry, I never stopped loving you."

This admission took Harry by surprise, this was huge, gigantic, Severus had basically confessed his love for him and suddenly he didn't think he was ready for something like this. _Love_ , it was such a powerful word and under ordinary circumstances, like teenage love, he would have swooned and declared it right back but this was different and weighed heavily on him because of Severus's position. His Professor was far more mature than he was, both in the literal sense and comprehension in being a teacher with more living experience than he had. When it all boiled down, this confession scared the hell out of him, what was he supposed to say back to that?

In the end he didn't say anything, he was freaking out slightly, the credibility of Severus's words crashing down around him, so he did the first thing he thought of and closed the distance between them, lips touching the other's in a slow kiss. His emotions that had been feeling jumbled became abundantly clear as he kissed Severus, the feeling of their lips pressing together bringing back a lot of memories and before he knew it tears were flowing down his cheeks. He felt the hand on his cheek move and when he pulled away opening his eyes, the man was wiping his hand on his trousers. Harry flushed in embarrassment and hastily wiped his face so he didn't look like a blubbering baby, though all credit to the older Wizard, he didn't say anything and pulled him into a tight embrace.

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 **Phew, that was intense.**

 **Thoughts?**


	18. Chapter 18

**.**

 **Okay, so after a few anxious reviews I have decided to upload the next chapter... Please ladies and gentlemen, control your emotions. We don't want tears, we don't want to have anyone passing out or being unable to concentrate on daily activities.**

 **I do have to say, I am overwhelmed by all your support. Love you awesome nerds :)**

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 **#CainAJLBassen:**

 **Strippers that tease less than me? Well I take that as a full blown compliment my friend. I appreciate all your kind words and I will endeavor not to disappoint you in following chapters.**

 **#CallicaXx:**

 **Lol yes, the 'babies' are back together :P I couldn't string this out any longer and I'm assuming you're very happy about this. Now, you _know_ I cannot tell you in advance what will happen... :)**

 **#Onyx Thanatos Theodore Lerins:**

 **It was such a sweet review :P But yes I wanted to create something different than them just spilling their stories of what happened whilst they were apart.**

 **#Jennybeth98:**

 **Harry topping huh? Well I shall certainly keep that in my back pocket for the future. Perhaps if there is plenty of begging and worshiping I will cave and add it soon... But you've got work for it :P**

 **#AlwaysAnAussie:**

 **Definitely wanted to be outside the box with that scene, so I'm glad you enjoyed it :)**

 **#TheDevilChild666:**

 **It actually was rather hard to write, I didn't want to repeat everything that you've read in previous chapters, especially with it being majority from Harry's point of view. I'm very happy that you enjoyed it.**

 **#Stella:**

 **Apologies, I have updated sooner than I wanted just so you could keep reading. You're welcome :P**

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 **Just a side note, really appreciating the reviews that don't come up as English. I've had a lot of fun translating them because it's a mystery until Google puts it into English :)**

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After a whirlwind of emotions the day prior, Harry woke with a headache and feeling too warm. When he fully became conscious he realized that he was laying on the couch, the warmth coming from Severus who was spooning him from behind and snoring lightly. He wanted to move but at this point he really didn't want to, he was rather comfortable, well so he thought until he shifted slightly against the man and his neck twinged, feeling the kink in it from the awkward angle they had slept in that night. He remembered back to the feeling of their kiss, it felt so right and something that he'd missed greatly from the man. It was an odd experience realizing that there was no one else in the world that now made him feel that way inclined, it was only ever Severus, the one who knew more than anyone else possibly ever would.

He tried to roll over so he could look at the sleeping man but was unsuccessful due to the small space on the couch so he sighed and placed his hand on top of Severus's that was draped over his hip. Severus had all but bared his soul last night, _I never stopped loving you_ , the sentence rang through his head as if on repeat. The deep and resounding voice echoing within the walls of his brain and he smiled fondly, even though the admission had made him feel completely undone it also proved to him how immature and young he really was. Severus had had experience in relationships, well the man had said he didn't really know what he was doing, but when it came to matters of the heart, he was trusting that Severus had a better clue than he had. It was this perspective of the man that had him wondering what was so special about his personality and his body for his Professor to fall in love with. He wasn't anything exceptional; he was beaten right from when he was a child, a self-proclaimed rule breaker and an idiot who dabbled in the Dark Arts.

Harry stilled when there was movement from behind him and he held his breath before shuddering as his Professor sighed lightly, the warm breath blowing lightly on the back of his neck making it tingle. Severus could have had anyone he wanted, yet here they lay, just the two of them and it was clear that they wanted each other. The only thing that was unclear, was why _him_ specifically. _Males seem to be attracted to me, whether they are my own age or twice that… Do I look like an easy prey? Do I act gay?_ Questions clouded his mind and he missed the signs that his couch-mate had woken from his sleep and was squeezing him gently as he stretched. Only when Severus moaned, his morning erection pressing firmly into Harry's lower back, did he snap out of his daze and he turned his head to look at the older man.

"Good morning." Severus purred in his ear and it made Harry shudder once again, the voice, _oh that voice_ , he inwardly groaned, was doing things to him.

Harry had gone almost half a year without once touching his cock, not once did he have the desire to rectify the hard problem in the mornings when he woke, but even then that had almost stopped when he was at Durmstrang, almost as if his hormones were turned off like a tap the moment he walked into that dark and damp castle. Little did he realize that Severus had been in the same predicament, the attraction he had only stemmed to Harry and no one else, so naturally with him gone and not seen he had lost the desire to touch himself. Though they were both human, both male, and both incredibly hard at this moment but Severus was the only one who seemed keen on exploring that side of their reconnected relationship as he applied more pressure to the teenagers' hip so he could thrust his groin into him.

"M-Morning." Harry stuttered once his brain had gotten to work again.

He was aware of the erection against him but he wasn't prepared to do anything about it, not yet anyway so he went to move away. However, he found he couldn't and the grip on his hip tightened as if he wasn't allowed to get away, it wasn't something that he found frightening, he didn't even find it remotely pressuring; he just didn't think he was ready to go and jump back into bed with Severus. Though that was exactly why they were on the couch in first place, wanting to be in each others embrace but not wanting to further it by venturing back to the bedroom.

"Mmm, Harry." Severus hummed behind his ear and gave the back of the teen's neck a brief kiss before grinding against him again.

It made Harry gasp and he tried to stifle a moan, he thought he did pretty well but then the hand on his hip moved and travelled towards his groin. Alarm bells were going off in his already pained head and he tensed before flinging himself off the couch and falling with a thud on the floor. When he looked up, Severus was getting into a sitting position and placed his feet on the floor as he leaned forwards, placing his elbows on his knees so he could rest his chin on one hand.

"I'm sorry, just because we've gotten back together doesn't mean I want to… you know… I'm just not ready for," He waved his hands at the man, "all this." Finishing his sentence, Severus tilted his head to the side and smirked a little.

"You just gestured to _all_ of _me_." Was the response Harry received and he stared in disbelief at how dense the older Wizard was playing at this point.

"Gah, whatever. I'm going to have a shower." Harry finally retorted and went to stand, his erection brushing the front of his jeans and he tried hard not to reach down and touch it when he looked at the smoldering morning look Severus was giving him.

In the end he turned abruptly and stalked from the room, huffing when he turned the corner and walked up the stairs. He had accepted that he was getting back with the older man but that didn't mean he would give himself up that easily, Severus knew this too, he wasn't as dense as he pretended to be at that moment and the man was now leaning back against the couch, his arms falling between his legs and hands clasping together with fingers interlocking. He had watched Harry all but saunter out of the room with amusement, his eyes narrowed and a smirk plastered on his face; he knew Harry was going to open up with him because the way he was acting reminded him of how they first began their relationship in the first place.

He wasn't worried, despite the fact he didn't get any action out of the teen, they had slept on the couch together and that's all that mattered to him. Although now that he stretched he could feel the knots and kinks in his muscles and limbs which made him second guess the rationality of sleeping on such an uncomfortable piece of furniture but the reward of sleeping with his lover again compensated for that.

Once they had both showered and were dressed for the day, Severus was sitting at the long dining table waiting as Harry joined him, sitting opposite and snagging a piece of toast. They remained silent for a while before Severus asked what his plans were, today they were both feeling a little more subdued than the day prior and it felt more like normal for the two of them. However, Harry didn't seem to be very fourth coming with information so he tried again, this time attempting to steer the conversation.

"I would very much appreciate it, if you followed me back to Spinner's End today."

"I still need to sort through the attic." Harry replied weakly and adverted his eyes when Severus gave him _the look_ , a raised eyebrow as if seeing right through his intentions.

"Then, at least by dinner this evening?" Severus countered, he wasn't particularly fond of Harry staying here any longer than necessary and it wasn't because he wanted him back in his home.

"I suppose so." The grumbled response came after an extended period of silence and Severus nodded in agreement.

"Splendid, I will inform Karsha to make dinner for two." And with that, the Potion's Master stood from the table with the intention of packing his trunk for the return to his home.

Whilst Severus walked out, Harry sat at the table, his head coming to rest on the wood with a gentle thud before rolling his head side to side. _Going back to Spinner's End… That will surely bring back some memories_ , he thought sadly, the couch facing the fire coming into his mind abruptly and taking him off guard. That was the last time he had gotten sexual with the older Wizard and he would be lying if he wasn't just a little apprehensive about going back there. It wasn't as if Dumbledore could do anything about it anyway if he _were_ to walk in on the two of them again, just sitting there not doing anything, because Harry was considered an adult apparently.

Finally after what appeared to be half an hour over thinking everything and analyzing the small things, he stood and followed Severus's path to his bedroom, only he didn't have much to pack because everything was still in his trunk so instead he ventured back into the attic. There, he pulled Sirius's box out and into some light so he could inspect the items, this was the only box that was of interest of him and he wanted to take his time going through it. He knelt on the dusty floor and opened the top flaps of the box, the piece of parchment being the first thing he pulled out and he found it odd that there be such a thing in a personal box. He looked at it closely, the folds not matching what one would expect so he pulled his wand from his arm holster and waved it over the top, he could feel stirring magic coming from this so he put it aside for later inspection.

There wasn't much else of interest, though he did find some more photos of Sirius, his father and Remus. They all looked to be having so much fun, there was even a couple of photos of his mother with his father that made him smile. He didn't know anything about them, nor what their school days were like, what their personalities were so to find things like this made him want to treasure them. Of course, he had Severus so he knew he wasn't completely alone, he knew Severus and his mother were close, but just how close really was a mystery.

Harry leant back against the wall, the piece of parchment sitting in his lap as he mulled things over. Whilst Severus had said he had loved his mother in a platonic way, he got the feeling that there was more to it than just that. From what his mother had written in her journal they were childhood friends, but the tone almost made it sound like they were childhood sweethearts. _I wonder if he loved her more than just friends…_ He frowned at the thought, an unfriendly thought wormed its way into his subconscious and started to make itself at home. The unbidden thought making him feel as though Severus was only with him because he was in love with his mother.

The thought made him shudder, anger flared briefly before he reeled it in, he was wearing the bracelet again and he knew any distress would be picked up by the man who was somewhere in the house. That _somewhere_ suddenly became clear when he heard the door from a bedroom open and footsteps come towards where he was sitting up in the attic. He groaned and let his head drop against the support beam as he heard Severus climbing the ladder, the wood creaking under his weight and a head came into view.

"Everything okay?" Severus asked and Harry nodded.

"Fine. Just sorting through some of this. Found these." He replied and pushed the photos over to him as the man lifted himself up so his legs were dangling through the attic hatch and sitting on the edge.

Harry observed Severus's face, he could see the ones he was looking at and gauging the reaction, he could tell the man would scowl whenever he looked at the ones with his father, but when he came across one with his mother, his face softened, almost looking at it as if he would look at Harry. The action was disconcerting and it made him feel awkward, it was as if on cue that Severus looked up at that moment and Harry adverted his gaze, his eyes landing upon the piece of parchment and he sat up, crossing his legs as he assessed it in front of him.

"What's that?" He heard the man asked but he shrugged, waving his wand over the top of it again.

"I'm not sure, I can feel the magic within it but I don't know what it does." Harry explained and picked it up, handing it over to the man who had come to sit next to him.

Severus flipped through the blank pages, he didn't know what the boy was going on about though, he couldn't feel anything flowing through the material but feeling curious as to why Harry _could_ , he too waved his wand over the top.

"Reveal your secrets." He said in a monotonous voice and Harry quickly leaned over, his arm brushing the older Wizard's as he read the handwritten message appearing over the cover.

Once it had finished, Harry gaped in astonishment before sniggering but was short lived when he heard the huff from the man beside him. _Messer's Mooney Wormtail Padfoot and Prongs, wish to complement Professor Snape and request that he leave his abnormally large nose out of other people's business_. Harry recited the words in his head before making a connection, _my father made this?_ He wasn't sure whether he should be impressed or horrified but then he heard Severus speaking again and he tuned in.

"Hmph, this must be that blasted map your father and his friends made in their fourth year."

"A map? Map of what?" Harry asked interested, then found the parchment in his lap as Severus stood.

"Of Hogwarts. Now are you finished or should I give you another hour?" Severus's voice was clipped and it made Harry sigh, he clearly didn't like talking about his father.

"Give me another hour. You can go if you like, I can floo to your place by myself." Harry didn't really want to inconvenience the man and he also wanted a little bit of independence in getting there solo.

"Fine, but if you're not there in a couple of hours I'll come and get you." And with that, the older Wizard disappeared through the attic door before his footsteps could be heard descending he stairs.

With a final flaring of the floo system, Harry knew he was alone and it felt great, it allowed him some space to think and he needed to do some analysing about what had just happened. He definitely knew that his Professor didn't like his father, but he wasn't too concerned about that, it was the feelings about his mother that he was most upset with. The face that Severus made whenever he looked upon a photo of his mother became almost dreamlike, as if he would give anything to have her back. It was a look Harry himself had received many times before and it almost made him feel sick inside, it was clear, in Harry's eyes, that Severus was romantically in love with his mother. The kicker was, whenever the teen spied a photo of his mother, those vibrant green eyes shone brightly, lighting up any photo and making them the focus before anything else.

 _Perhaps this was too good to be true_ , Harry sighed, and he too went to stand, brushing himself off before he packed away everything that he didn't find of interest. He took the map with him and stuck it into his trunk before shutting it. He didn't really feel like going to Spinner's End now, what if all this time Severus was just into him because he looked like his mother? He turned towards the bathroom and once in there he looked in the mirror, his face didn't look feminine, but did have a striking resemblance to his father with the angular jaw. He frowned at himself, didn't he just look like Harry? No, he was the perfect mix of his parents and the thought confused him.

He was distracted momentarily when a loud squawk came from downstairs so he made his way into the kitchen where his owl was perched on the table looking disgruntled.

"Ugh, what's _your_ problem?" He huffed as he took the letter and sat down.

It was a letter from his friends and they wanted to know how he was getting on. He was just about to reply when his bird trotted towards the edge of the table and flew straight out the window. _No wonder she was returned_ , he thought and shook his head, these thoughts and actions were getting him nowhere and now he had no owl to reply to Hermione with so in the end he supposed it was for the best that he went to live with Severus. At least then he could borrow the man's owl to send a reply to his friends.

Severus was in the guest bedroom, he was setting it up for Harry to return. Of course he would have preferred to have the boy sleeping in the same room as him but he didn't want to push him into a corner like that. Nothing had actually changed, though there was some evidence of him living in that room once upon a time with a few loose pieces of parchment laying about. He really hoped that Harry would cooperate with his timeframe and arrive within the designated time. He didn't want to go out of his way to try and drag the boy back but in the back of his mind he knew that that house would not be a positive environment for someone like Harry. That soul was growing dark and the only way to push out the dark was with the light. Of course Severus was no saint, he had dabbled with the Dark Arts long ago and whilst he had a mild fascination for the subject he wasn't going to push himself down a dark path.

It also had something to do with the fact that there were so many memories of the marauder days in that god forsaken place. He was surprised to see so many photos and trinkets dating back to those times, it had been rumored that Black had run away from home when he was younger, so to see so many things such as the map under the roof of that house was surprising. He hated that map with a passion, the amount of times Potter Senior had been able to corner him in the darkness of Hogwarts, tricking and pranking him to all his content, it was bad enough he had the invisibility cloak. At least with Harry, the boy had used it for _something_ useful. _Oh yes, sneaking about to sleep with his Professor, very clever_ , he snorted at his thoughts before leaving the bedroom and seeking refuge in his Potion's Lab.

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Harry finally decided that instead of moping about the house by himself he would, in fact, go and see Severus. There was always the opportunity he could come back here if he needed anyway so it wasn't going to be a big deal, so sending Kreacher to Spinner's End with his trunk and bird cage he stepped into the floo and spoke his destination. When he arrived, the first thing he set upon was the offending couch, it was almost as if it were teasing him, reminding him of what had happened and he felt himself sinking to the floor as he stood in front of it.

Severus had heard someone coming through to his living area and assumed it was Harry so he finished off what he was doing to greet him. He wasn't expecting to see the boy kneeling on the black rug staring at the couch but then again he wasn't exactly able to predict how he acted as of late.

"May I enquire as to what you are doing?" Severus found himself saying, as he walked closer in the hopes that he would help the teen up.

"Memories. Couch." Was all Harry could choke out before he started shaking, he would later berate himself for being so weak but Severus helped him up and they both went to sit on said couch.

"I know how you are feeling, Harry. I found myself steering clear of it when you were taken away from me. It doesn't hurt so much now though." Severus explained and Harry nodded before leaning back into the soft cushions.

As they sat there in silence, Harry's mind was sorting and sifting through all the memories cropping up, it was then that he suddenly remembered the fact that Severus was in love with his mother. He turned his head but it just happened to be the moment he felt a hand settle just above his knee and he looked at the man in an accusatory way. When a single eyebrow was lifted he lost it, smacking Severus's hand away from him, standing and looking down at the man angrily.

"You lied, you don't love me you just loved my mother because I have her eyes! I saw the way you look at photos of her, it's the same look you gave _me_ once upon a time. Is that what this is then? You think I'm feminine enough to pass as a female so you can have that sick little fantasy of getting with my mother?" Harry ranted, his fists balling as he tried to control his rage.

Severus was stunned silent, literally, he had no idea where this was coming from but he had a fair idea that it was something that Harry had read in the Black house. Whilst it was true that he loved Lily Potter, it was purely platonic, he never had any romantic feelings towards her because in a mature world a male and female could be extremely close best friends and not have to be in a relationship. Of course, Severus couldn't get past the fact that the teen and Lily had the same eyes, but he could also argue that because of Potter Senior, who he could clearly see within the youth's face, that he would be turned away. There was a balance to the boy and it was something only unique to Harry, he didn't look more like one or the other, he was just that, Harry.

"My father did something to you didn't he? That's why you're doing this, he found out you liked my mother and you're getting back at him for taking your first love off you!"

Severus heard the words Harry was saying but they just didn't sit right, there was something hidden in his eyes and Severus narrowed his own as he watched the teen rant. There was no truth of course to what he was saying and he desperately wanted to get him to stop talking but short of spelling his mouth shut he didn't really know what to do.

"Why won't you answer me?!"

That was the last straw, the Potion's Master and proclaimed Dungeon Bat of Hogwarts School couldn't take this any longer. He ignored the mild burn on his wrist and stood quickly so that he towered over the boy before taking a step forward. Harry matched Severus's step but went backwards and before long the teen found hands on the backs of his thighs, pulling him up by the legs just as he felt his back hit something solid. Following this, his mouth was covered by another as Severus leaned down and not too gently smashed their lips together. It mostly took Harry by surprise, the brutality of it, but without thinking a loud moan hummed deep in the back of his throat as he let the man devour him.

It was the only thing Severus could think of at that moment to get Harry to stop talking, something about the teen just ignited his desire once more and he wasn't going to stop himself. He could feel now what it had been that didn't seem right; there was passion and a fiery element behind his words and he supposed that it was their encounter last night that had him wound up. Severus was itching to get the boy underneath him, he had ever since they had been parted, even more so when he woke up with the warm body of the teen next to him on the couch.

He soon moved his lips off of Harry's when he heard another moan from within and nipped his way down the boy's jaw to his neck where he paid close attention to the soft flesh that tasted both sweet and salty. Grinding his hips into Harry's he found the legs wrapping around his waist that allowed him to let go momentarily as he started to undo the buttons on his outer black robe; he was getting hot, very quickly, and wanted to get some more. Only when he had shucked it off did he pull his face back from the neck he was marking savagely so he could look into the green eyes that apparently were causing so much pain for the teen.

"I don't know what's gotten into you but what you just said is completely incorrect." Severus said, his voice husky from his arousal and it seemed to reach the teen because he shivered a little before bucking his hips into the taller Wizard, leveraging off the wall.

"I've seen the way you look at her." Harry replied, his voice equally rough from the onslaught of attention.

"If I had ever been in love for her in that way, it would have been like falling in love with my sister. She was all I had, Harry, she was my best friend and yes your father was a pain but the only thing he did was bully me." His voice was rushed and heady with desire, he didn't want to stop and talk at this point, he wanted to drag Harry upstairs and into his bed.

Harry's thoughts stopped when he had heard that, sure he knew his father was a bit of a fool and played pranks on everyone but Severus had never divulged the fact that he was, in fact, bullied by his father. He pulled his gaze so he locked eyes with Severus and immediately felt guilty for his accusations. The man was right, he was his own person and that's why he had been so disappointed that time where Ron and he had pranked Malfoy in front of the whole school. _That_ had been a bad move, he refused to be his father, he wasn't going to sink that low, but he could use his skills and knowledge to make life better for those who were like Severus.

"I'm sorry." Harry said suddenly when he saw the look Severus was giving him, their actions may have stopped but his arousal hadn't and he fidgeted, brushing their hard groins together.

"Then make it up to me." Severus replied, his eyes rich with passion.

The challenge had been set out and Harry was only too happy to accept, it had been too long since he had felt like this and even though Harry was backed up into the wall he truly _did_ love this man. He had been hurt enough to try and continue this charade of defensiveness when it came to others, he wanted to embrace his feelings and act upon impulse.

In the end that's what he did and he led the charge with a solid kiss he placed upon Severus's lips. Despite the time and fear of all this, they were just how he remembered them, soft but powerful.

He wanted to get things moving along, he hadn't climaxed in months and he could feel his need growing by the second, so without another thought he wriggled his hips to free his tee that was squashed between his back and the wall and dragged it up over his head, throwing it to the side. He didn't feel self-conscious about this, Severus knew what he looked like and at the end of the day he trusted this man with his life, he would never abuse him, never hurt him and would never play mind games with him. This man had bared his soul the day they had been caught and he had been too selfish to even see that, Severus too had been heartbroken that day, so yes, he was going to _make it up_ to Severus, right here, right now.

He moved his hands, they had found their way to Severus's biceps, so he circled them around the back of the man's neck, pulling himself closer as they kissed. From there he pushed them away from the wall and was able to set his feet on the floor as they maintained lip locking. Harry felt as though he was in charge currently and he walked them both towards the furniture, the couch as it happened, and he fell on top of the man, one leg still on the floor and the other curled between the couch and Severus's thigh as he straddled him. It was then time to get rid of their clothing and Harry quickly set about striping the man of his shirt, the buttons slowly being undone to reveal pale skin.

When the buttons were undone, Harry ran his hands down the broad chest, raking through the small amount of chest hair before delving lower to the button and zip on the black pants that were being worn. He wasn't afraid of this, he had done this before with Severus and was trying to act by instinct as he went about pulling the man's pants down so he could free the erection confined within the material. He gave up trying to pull them down when they wouldn't budge and in the end palmed the hard length through the material of Severus's briefs. A throaty groan came from the older Wizard and a bolt of pleasure wracked Harry's body when he remembered who was making the man feel like this.

Severus was very close to his release, it had been too long since he had even thought about trying to pleasure himself and it was now where he was worried he might blow it before things ventured further. Little did Severus know, Harry was feeling the same and he gasped when he felt a warmth on his own erection that was being fondled through his jeans. It was a glorious feeling, one that he hadn't had in a long time and he moved forwards to apply more pressure. In doing so their hands brushed together increasing the pressure on their swollen anatomy, the touches, the feelings, the excitement and the relief all became too much for them both and with a grunt, Severus came just as Harry whimpered out almost as if he were in pain.

Their quick climax left them both feeling a little put out, Harry hadn't even been able to touch himself, let along take the hot length that Severus sported into his mouth or even, Merlin forbid, inside him. Severus was feeling relieved above all else but also a little gutted, he wanted to sink into Harry's tight canal and thrust into him like it was the last thing he was ever going to do. Alas, this was not going to be the case as Harry moved forwards and nuzzled his chest with the side of his face, it was an action that he cherished, it showed the boy's level of experience but Harry was his and he wouldn't change it for anything.

After regaining their breath, and somewhat their composure, Harry made the move to sit up but found he couldn't when arms wrapped around his lower back and tightened. He grumbled in protest but took a deep breath, Severus's familiar scent making his cock twitch and he nuzzled the firm chest once more. There was a small rumble of a laugh that he could feel with his face firmly nestled against the man's peck and it made him look up.

"What?" Harry asked quietly and soon he found Severus's eyes catching his own.

"You, Harry."

"I'm glad you find me amusing." He sniffed though it was light hearted.

They lay there for another few minutes and in that time Severus sighed, he felt contented and finally after all this time, happy. Happy that he now had Harry back in his arms, even though he still looked like a ghost and he was planning on changing this for the remainder of the holidays so that when the teen went back to school he didn't look as if he'd been neglected.

"I'm going to get myself cleaned up… Can I have a shower?" Harry asked timidly, he knew it wouldn't be a problem but for some reason he just didn't want to seem presumptuous.

"Of course you can, you needn't have to ask. Dinner should be ready by the time you are done." Severus explained and immediately felt the loss of warmth as the boy stood.

Harry did his jeans back up and went over to the opposing wall to pick up his tee that had been discarded, at the same time he picked up Severus's outer robe as well and went to hand it back. There was a weird tension in the air as he went about this, it was almost as if it were a one night stand the way they were silent but Harry tried to shake it off, of course it was going to take a while before they would be natural like they once had been but it was going to take time. When Harry handed the robe back, he smiled a little before walking out of the living area and straight up the stairs, however once he reached the top of the stairs he looked both left and right, tossing up between which room he might find his belongings in. He assumed he would be in the spare bedroom, thinking it was a little too soon to be sharing a bed when they still had issues to work through.

He was right, he found his trunk by the wardrobe and he went over to it so he could rifle through for some fresh clothes. He could still feel the stickiness in his pants from their encounter before and it made him feel dirty but he couldn't be bothered cleaning himself through magic, a shower was what he needed before he was beginning to feel wound up again. However this time it was different, he didn't feel angry, he was feeling antsy but was at a loss as to why he felt that way.

Once he was under the hot water, his body relaxed further than what it had after his release, the water cascading down his front made him close his eyes and savour the tingling feeling it gave him all over. It was then that he ran his hands over his chest, going lower until he felt his hardening erection, his eyes snapped open and he looked down to find him rigid and still growing. _Seriously?_ He thought as he ran his fingers over the length, he felt conflicted as to what he should do, knowing that he would be a walking hard-on for the rest of the evening he thought it best to take care of his hard problem. _What if… I wonder if Severus will initiate something tonight?_ Whilst he was curious he was also cautious, he trusted the man and he wasn't exactly going to say no if something happened later on but he didn't want to rush this.

In the end he gave up, his fingers wrapping around his erection and beating furiously with the aid of the warm water. He took longer this time and without being conscious of the length of time he spent in the bathroom, he missed the door creaking open a little. His thoughts took him deep into his subconscious and he envisaged happier times when he and his Professor had first gotten together, the feeling of elegant, long Potion stained fingers exploring his hot cavern, stroking until they ran over a sensitive area within him. It was as if the man had actually hit the nerves inside him that made the coil snap and he sighed loudly as the orgasm ripped through his body, making his legs weak and collapsing onto the shower floor.

With the water running over his head, he let it hang so it wouldn't go in his eyes as he sought about bringing his breathing under control. Oh how he wanted to be underneath the older Wizard as he was tortured with that sinful tongue.

"Oh, Severus…" He breathed in the silent bathroom.

Severus made his way silently downstairs, his voyeurism making him feel a little guilty but mostly turned on by the events. Harry was clearly thinking about either him or both of them and the reality of them getting back together made him even more excited. However he was a man of pride and would never voice his excitement to anyone, he wouldn't pretend around his younger lover though, he would never lie to him, not that he had in the past but he certainly wasn't about to start. The only way he would get Harry to completely trust him would to be open and honest, putting aside what people on the outside would believe.

* * *

 **On a scale of one to Cruciatus, how painful was that ending... :P**

 **Sorry I can't help but be a tease. My starsign _is_ Scorpio after all.**


	19. Chapter 19

**#CallicaXx:**

 **Paid to tease? nay, but I do love a good suspense thriller. It just so happens you have great timing, I was just about to upload this within a few hours of your review post. So... enjoy :)**

 **#Onyx Thanatos Theordore Lerins:**

 **Jump his bones... Hmm, jump his bones indeed ;) You won't be disappointed.**

 **#CainAJBassen:**

 **Would I stop half way through a story? I wouldn't be so cruel as to do that to you :D Enjoy this chapter... ;)**

 **#JadedKrystal:**

 **They do have issues, you're right with that one. You're going to see that the cracks will appear in future chapters in terms of their relationship. However, never fear, I would never be so cruel as to break them up again. You have my word. x**

 **#TheDevilChild666:**

 **As always, love and appreciate your feeedback. It hurt? My apologies :P You will expect more tension unfortunately but I'll try be a little kinder :)**

 **#Naykrin:**

 **Evil? EVIL? Muahaha, I can't help it :P Fast update is here... Well by my standards anyway, so I hope you enjoy. #HopeI'mForgiven?**

 **#CinderSpire793:**

 **And what would be 'pure torture'? I would very much like to know for future chapters :P I also like the idea of sensual bondage, I will also keep that in my back pocket.**

 **#TheCauldron:**

 **Definitely yes to the emotional issues needing attention, luckily I have a plan for that and I _know_ you will figure it out in the next few chapters.**

 **#Nowaki Kamijou:**

 **You _may_ want to set aside a couple of hours for this update then... I'm sorry but it gets pretty intense. xx Good luck.**

* * *

 **Aaaaand on that note, I would like to warn you all that this chapter is... kind of marshmallowy with a chance of angst, emotion, tension - the full package. Let me know what you all think because I _may_ need to tone it down for next chapter.**

 **Enough from me. Read on. Cry on. Throw things. Yell at me. Do whatever you have to do, just don't Avada Kedavra me...**

 **xxx**

* * *

Harry woke in the morning feeling very well rested, whilst having odd dreams about recent events he truly felt as though he had had a decent nights sleep. That night after dinner, the two of them had slipped into old routines, Severus going to his armchair with a book and a glass of red wine as Harry went to the rung in front of the fire as his Animagus. They didn't really say much during dinner nor afterwards but the company felt comforting and it allowed Harry to be calm.

Stretching, Harry got out of bed, his morning erection standing proud against his boxers as he went to his trunk and pulled out a pair of jeans and a tee. Seeing as he'd had a shower that night he didn't feel the need to jump in straight away today and headed out the door so he could join the older Wizard for breakfast. As he made his way down the stairs he could hear the man talking with someone so he held back and went to the toilet instead.

Severus was currently speaking with a male, though from the brief snippet he heard he wasn't able to identify who it was. He figured whilst he messed about upstairs that he would message the man via their bracelets instead of having to show himself. He didn't receive a reply however and as he walked aimlessly over to the window he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. With a knock at the door Harry told whomever it was to enter but didn't turn around as he continued to look out over the community through the window.

"Good morning, Harry. You needn't have worried, it was my supplier from the town." Severus explained as he stepped inside the room.

"Okay." Harry replied, still not having turned around.

"Is everything alright?" The man then asked, Harry hadn't even looked at him but was at a loss as to why.

"Fine." And at this, Harry turned around and set his eyes upon a masterpiece.

Severus was wearing his black pants and his white shirt, said shirt was unbuttoned a little and tucked into his pants, giving him a casual but corporate look and Harry enjoyed the sight. He swallowed hard as he felt himself twitch, the desire to pounce on the man growing the longer he laid eyes upon his body. His stomach also chose this time to growl and he frowned before making his way towards the man still standing in the doorway.

"Good to hear your appetite is back." Severus commented, his heart beating a little faster as the teen came towards him.

"Odd." Was the reply, but a small smirk pulled at the corners of his mouth as he thought of a naughty reason why this could be.

He was about to walk past the man so he could go down stairs when an arm stopped him and he turned so his back was pressed against the wall, a hand moving so it was next to his head. Severus turned his body face on so he could assess the boy, both of them seemingly wanting to touch each other but restraining. He couldn't exactly blame the teen, but he would have been more than happy to shag like rabbits right now, that was what his body was telling him right now anyway.

"Are we going to continue speaking with one word answers today?" Severus's voice was deep and soft as he whispered seductively, watching as the Adam's apple bobbed up and down as Harry swallowed.

"No." Harry replied, satisfied that the man was smirking at him and he gave one right back.

"Hmm, this will not do." Severus said as he leaned forwards, the intention of kissing the teen very clear.

"Perhaps later, as I remember you saying, I need to eat." Harry commented cheekily and slipped out underneath the arm blocking his way before waltzing down the stairs.

 _And I see your humor is back_ , Severus thought as he followed the boy downstairs and coming to sit in front of him with his cup of very strong coffee. It was currently mid morning and whilst he would have liked the boy to get up a little earlier he wasn't about to go about handing out orders, he just hoped that over the course to his stay, Harry would start getting up earlier so they could actually do things together.

"So, plans for today?" Severus asked as he leaned back in his chair, cup poised to take a sip as he regarded the teen.

"Thought I might go for a walk in the forest, then I suppose I'll have a look at my classes this year, see what I should read up on."

"Hmm." Severus pondered, he desperately wanted to ask if he could join Harry on his walk but decided against it, if he wanted company then it would have been asked of him.

"Apart from that, nothing really," Harry continued as he bit into a piece of toast, "What about you?"

"Either my study or lab, if you need me, just come and find me." He didn't want to sound desperate to be with the youth but he didn't want him to think that he wasn't interested in spending time with him.

Nothing more was really said after that, the conversation stopping and soon they were both busying themselves with work. Harry had tucked himself away in his bedroom, the safety he felt there making his somewhat study go well. He had still yet to broach the fact that he wouldn't be taking Potion's that year and wondered how well that would go down. He had this sinking feeling that the man would think him of avoiding spending time with him in class though he hoped this wouldn't be the case and they could work through it.

By lunch time, the sat for their meal in silence, Harry fidgeting in his seat wanting to ask if he could have some company whilst out on his walk. He thought it might do them some good to be alone and in the public so to speak so they could build some foundations between them. It was weird to think that being away from each other had meant their actions were pushed back to when they were first starting to get to know each other. Never the less, he was determined to create that connection again and believed this would be a step in the right direction.

"I was thinking of going for the walk after lunch, did you want to come with me?" Harry suddenly asked halfway through their meal and it made Severus look up.

"I find myself with a bit of spare time, so yes, I would very much like to join you." He gave his polite response to seem like he wasn't completely thrilled that he was invited to join, in reality he was over the moon.

"Cool." Harry replied and then they fell into silence once again.

* * *

It was a warm day in Spinner's End, Harry was only wearing jeans and a tee as the warm breeze blew past him as he walked side by side with his Professor. He could remember back to the Christmas holidays when the two of them had last been in here and once they were far enough amongst the trees the atmosphere between them changed, it felt charged and Harry felt his hands getting clammy for no other reason than his arousal hitting him hard. Severus felt it too and he had to put his hands into his pockets to stop him from accidentally brushing up against the younger Wizard.

"The last time we were here, we totally got busted." Harry mused as he spotted the large rock that Severus had pinned him against previously.

"That we did." _And I would love to have you backed up into that rock right now_ , Severus continued in his head, not wanting to voice his desires just yet.

Harry felt daring and he walked over to the rock, placing his hand on the cold stone before turning around and leaning casually with his back flat against it, his hands sliding into his pockets. His gaze lifted so he could seductively look at his Professor standing a few meters away, his gaze cautious but coming to a realization of what he was doing. He was feeling a rush, he wanted to relive what they had experienced in the past and this was one way he felt that this could happen, he just hoped that Severus would play along so he didn't have to actually say what he wanted to do. Though it seemed there was no need and Severus slowly made his way over, his hands still in his pockets to stop him from doing something he would later regret and stood in front of the teen.

"I was really afraid back then." Harry's voice sounded distant but he was looking directly at the man.

"Afraid?" His reply soft.

"I had no idea what I was doing, what we were getting into. I can't believe how far we got." Harry's voice pensive making Severus frown, this wasn't how he had been expecting it to go.

"I want to continue where we left off."

The admission to Severus by surprise, after what had preceded that statement he was getting the impression the boy had regretted what they had done. However, this wasn't the case and he found himself taking another step forwards, his shy and blushing Harry had grown up and whilst he had turned him on greatly to have a partner who was inexperienced, he found that this more mature and darker version was also getting his blood pumping south. Though when he remembered how jaded Harry's soul had become, he didn't really know why he thought this was a turn on.

"Well, Harry. I couldn't agree more with that idea." And with that, he leaned down, his hands coming to rest on Harry's waist as he brought their lips together.

He was surprised to feel the boy's hardness pressing directly into his thigh, more so that he was equally hard and it made him think back to when they first started to explore each other. They weren't able to keep their hands off each other, so if this was what Harry was referring to he wasn't going to complain at all and pressed himself further into the warm body that he had trapped on the rock.

After a few minutes, he was pushed away; Harry had his hands on his chest and bit his bottom lip making Severus's heart beat erratically. He was going to ask what was going on but watched as Harry dropped to his knees, a wry smile playing on his lips as he reached for the zipper on the black dress pants he was wearing. Looking around to see if anyone was going to catch the two of them, Severus held his breath as a cool hand found its way to his erection and squeezed gently. He had to glance down, the innocent face that was staring back up at him maintained eye contact as he leaned forwards to lick the tip. At this Severus gasped and ran a hand through his hair, the other hand resting on the mop of black hair that was starting to grow out allowing him to take hold of it, regulating the motions happening to his length.

As Harry leaned forwards he swallowed before humming, the vibrations creating a wonderful effect Severus thought and took a large breath in as he attempted to control his impulses, he just wanted to take the boy, turn him around and sink his erect cock into his ass, but he had to restrain himself. Harry too was trying to control himself, he bobbed back and fourth faster, sucking so hard that it created hollowed cheeks and his tongue would purposefully pay close attention to the very tip of the thick cock, swirling it round the tiny hole that was weeping. He had almost forgotten the taste of this man's cock, it was salty and musk scented, his come, though not the tastiest thing he'd ever, turned him on greatly when he remembered who it belonged to.

"MmHmph, Harry…" Severus grunted and groaned, he was going to climax there was no doubt about that but he wasn't sure if the teen wanted him to shoot off in his mouth.

Harry hummed again, Severus's legs tensed and he held his breath, he was getting extremely close but then again the boy knew this, so sneaking his other hand from palming himself through his jeans, Harry reached up and cupped the balls he had been neglecting. There was a deep shout, on the cusp of being a primal growl and Harry found his head slammed down onto the red member with so much force he thought he could feel it sliding right down his throat. It was then that he experienced the full taste of Severus's seed and he tried to not gag as a reflex to the taste.

As Severus emptied himself, he caught himself thinking that he was the luckiest man on the planet, his bold lover had given him a mind blowing orgasm with just his mouth in the middle of the forest as if it were completely natural. He soon became aware of his surroundings and that Harry still had his mouth wrapped around his softening cock so he let the boy's hair go and leaned with his other hand on the rock for support. Harry leaned to the side, spitting whatever was left in his mouth out before wiping the corners of his lips free of the overspill; he was happy at what had just happened, he had felt daring and it definitely had him excited about getting something reciprocating.

"Merlin, Harry. Are you sure you're still relatively new at this?" Severus found himself asking; he didn't really want to know if he _had_ had another guy at Durmstrang but he was confident with the memories he had been shown that that wasn't the case.

"You're welcome." He replied as he slowly stood, leaning back against the rock so he could look at the man that he loved.

Yes, he had just thought the word _love_ , he had just admitted to himself that that was how he felt about the man. He still had his doubts about the feelings being mutual but for now, with Severus's past in mind, he was going to just accept the fact that they had something between them and if it continued into the future, then that would be great.

"I want to get you home. I believe I owe you." Severus said after a while, the silence starting to become awkward between them.

"How about right here?" Harry replied, his voice sounding light and full of mischief.

"I think not." Was the answer when they both heard voices.

Severus still had his flaccid erection half hanging out so he quickly zipped himself back up before following his lover back towards the house. The couple they saw didn't seem to even bat an eyelid as they passed to which Severus was very relieved as they continued on their way. The conversation non-existent as they walked the dirt path to the tree line, Severus found at peace by simply being in the teen's presence.

"Did you want any help with potions this afternoon?" Harry was itching to get back into brewing, he had enjoyed it at Durmstrang with the harder potions really pushing his limits of capabilities.

"Sure, is there anything in particular you wanted to brew or are you happy to help me start making the school supplies?"

Harry thought for a second, he didn't think he would be able to try out some of the dangerously poisonous ones he had found in the Black library, the books of which were currently in his trunk, so he agreed to help him start the school supplies. Though thinking about school, Harry wondered if now was the best time to bring up the fact that he wouldn't be taking potions this coming year as he had technically already completed his year levels competency.

When they locked themselves away in the man's lab, he thought it best to start the conversation at least, he knew his Professor wasn't going to like it but he never knew, there might be another subject he could substitute it for. So taking a deep breath he got the man's attention, he cleared his throat and spoke.

"It's going to be odd not going to Potion's class this year." He tried the humorous one liner, but judging by the shattering phial on the floor, he glanced up to see a shocked Potion's Master.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Well, I have already achieved Hogwarts standards of Potions… So the Headmaster has said I don't need… to… take it…" He trailed off as he was approached with the infamous Professor Snape glare and backed up into the bench behind him.

"You do realize he is saying this so we won't be together."

"You can't be sure. Anyway, I've already had a look and the potion's I'd be brewing this year I have already done." Harry then held his breath as a hand came up to his face, the man's knuckles stroking his cheek and he gulped, this wasn't how he had expected it to go.

"I beg to differ, I'm not going to let you get out of it that easily." Severus responded and then placed a kiss on Harry's lips.

"It's not like I wasn't intending on actually _doing_ Potion's this year… You've got your Masters' right? Can't you teach me the next level?" The teen offered and it seemed to placate Severus a little.

"I could, however that blasted Headmaster will take some convincing." The man's tone a little defeated.

"He can't do anything, remember? Besides, what if I want to continue with Potion's as my career?"

Severus was a little taken back by the admission, he never would have thought that _his_ subject he taught would be something his lover would be interested in. He thought Harry would have pursued more physical avenues such as an Auror or a Professional Quidditch player.

"I hadn't realized you were thinking so far in advance." He resorted to saying, not really sure what would be an appropriate reply.

"Well… I haven't, not really. I just don't want to give up Potions because I enjoy it, but I don't want to repeat the year again because I won't learn anything."

"I will speak with the Headmaster then, perhaps your Head of House would also be keen on sitting in on that discussion. I could use the backup." Severus said, the last bit said mostly to himself but Harry fully heard it and smirked.

"I guess we really ticked a few people off, huh."

"You cannot control who takes your heart." The man said, getting quite sentimental and resting his forehead against Harry's.

* * *

That night after dinner, Harry positioned himself in front of the fire in his human form this time; he was soaking in the warmth even though it was a pretty mild day outside. Severus was sitting behind him on the couch reading as per usually with a glass of red wine this time, he could tell because he would be sipping on it every few minutes. He briefly wondered if the man would let him drink now that he was of adult Wizarding age, he doubted that this would be the case and he sighed loudly as he stared at the flames in front of him.

"You want to talk about it?" Severus asked softly from the couch and Harry turned around, standing, before making his way over to the man.

"I'm technically of legal age right?" He asked as he flopped down next to Severus and the older Wizard looked at him sideways.

"You are."

"So, does that mean I can join you in a drink now?" He asked timidly, he didn't really know where his shyness had come from but he stuck with it and eyed the man carefully.

Severus didn't respond verbally, instead he passed over his goblet of wine for him. Harry took it and looked at the contents, it smelt quite aromatic so he decided to give it a go, however he screwed his face up at the taste, it didn't taste as nice as its' scent. He gingerly handed the man back his goblet before slumping down into the back of the cushions feeling a little bummed at the fact he didn't like it.

"Alcohol is an acquired taste." Severus mused in response and then went back to his book.

What he missed however were Harry's wandering eyes, they nearly bugged out of his skull when he saw the bangle on the man's wrist, his gaze going past it to see a red pink scar that matched the shape of the silver jewelry. He immediately leaned over and ran his fingers over the scar; it was the hand that Severus was holding his book with so he put it down when the grip got stronger.

"It doesn't hurt." He said as by way of reassurance but it didn't have the desired effect and he put his own hand over top of the teen's to get his attention.

"It would have though." Harry replied, he couldn't tear his eyes away from the mark, he felt terrible.

"Yes, it was at the time but you can't dwell on that. I know you are safe now." Severus explained and pulled Harry's hand away with his free one, placing a kiss on the back of it.

Harry followed the action with his eyes, watching as a kiss was placed on the back of his hand. He found himself sighing in content at the action and moved so he could lean into the man who took the hint and wrapped his now free arm around his shoulders, his book forgotten about. They stayed like this for a while, Harry could hear the older Wizard's heartbeat slowly evening out and it was comforting to listen to as he relaxed into the embrace. He then drew his knees up, resting his feet on the edge of the couch when he turned and caught Severus's gaze down at him. Their faces were much closer than he had thought, his eyes darting down to the thin lips and up again. He wanted to kiss the man, his hormones getting the best of him as his cock started to harden in his trousers.

He didn't feel ashamed of this and he didn't feel that he needed to ask the man's permission as he leant forward and brought their lips together. It was amazing how this simple action never got old, he always did and assumed he always would enjoy a bit of making out with Severus, especially when things went further like they currently were. More specifically, Severus's hand was going lower, running down his thigh, his fingers lightly stroking the material of his jeans making shivers run up the teen's spine. The action made Harry shift slightly, angling his body so he could have better access to the kiss, however Severus wasn't going to settle for just this and the hand that was stroking his thigh moved to the other one, taking hold of the back of his leg to pull him across. It made Harry straddle the firm thighs of his lover, not once breaking the kiss that they both so wanted to keep going.

Harry would always admit that he enjoyed it from his spot up on the man's legs, it gave him much better access to literally everything, so without another moment lost he reached up and started to undo the buttons on Severus's crisp white shirt, exposing the pale skin and patches of chest hair. As always, he ran his fingers lightly through it before leaning down and nipping at the side of his neck, moving down towards his collarbone and nipple. He wasn't allowed to go any further than this however when Severus took his head in his hands, caressing the side of his face and placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

"You've done enough, it's my turn." The man purred and went to kiss Harry's jaw and neck before pulling away.

"How would you feel about venturing to the bedroom?"

They pulled away enough so that their eyes could meet and Harry considered what was being said. He knew that there was no pressure, that he wouldn't be forced to do anything he didn't want to so there was no issues with that. He relished in the fact that he was being asked what was okay and this was what helped him make up his mind.

"That's fine… Yours?" Harry thought that it was pretty bold of himself, but then again there was really nothing scary about volunteering his openness about the situation, he trusted Severus.

"Only if you're sure. You don't have to stay in there tonight if you don't want to." Severus explained and he received a nod in return before he helped Harry stand.

Harry felt Severus grasp his hand before they walked towards the stairs, his heart was beating faster and he was aware that his breathing sped up a little as well. He wasn't nervous or scared, he was excited, excited that they were making some serious progress but it was going quite fast. He was able to remain calm when there was no pressure to then stay in the man's room, Harry felt as though he was in control and could make the decision on what he classified as being okay. _This_ is what he loved about the man, his caring natural that was essentially only ever shown to him. It made his feel special and kept him safe, safe enough to allow the man to take him into his bedroom where hopefully the afternoons favor would be returned.

They stepped into the bedroom and Harry was given time to have a look around as Severus slipped his shoes off and kicked them under the bed. Harry wasn't surprised to see it exactly the same and he calmed a little before moving towards the bed and sitting next to the older Wizard.

"Just tell me if you want to stop." Severus reassured and placed a hand on Harry's knee, squeezing it a little.

"I trust you, Severus. Make me squirm." The teen shot back with a little smirk that took the Potion's Master by surprise.

"Then by all means, make yourself comfortable." Severus replied and stood, standing in front of Harry as he undid the rest of his buttons on his shirt.

Once that hit the floor, he started on his pants, undoing the zipper slowly and watched Harry's facial expressions as he did. He didn't let them fall to the ground however and took a step forwards, forcing the teen to accommodate him by spreading his legs and leaning down to kiss him, the pressure pushing them towards the mattress on the bed. At this, Severus leaned down with one knee on the bed and kissed his way down the boy's body after his tee was unceremoniously ripped over his head.

"I would very much like to see you naked." Severus whispered into Harry's ear once he moved back up, covering the teen's small frame with his body and pressing him into the bed.

Harry didn't verbally respond to this, he just smiled slyly and moved his head to the side so he could place kisses on the man's neck. As this was happening, Severus started on the jeans that the teen was wearing, undoing them achingly slow before pulling them down, he needed help from the boy as they were quite tight, but with a rise of hips he was able to slide them down the skinny thighs. Harry was now left in just his boxer briefs, his erection clearly defined by the material making the older Wizard lick his lips in anticipation. The act made Harry groan with pleasure and Severus responded by hooking his index fingers under the material of his briefs and sliding them down, the erection springing upwards as it was so rigid.

Once Harry was completely naked, Severus knelt between his lovers legs on the floor as two hands went to the swollen erection. Harry had to hold his breath, the pace of these movements was driving him crazy, he would have loved for the man to strip him down and pound him from behind but the care that was being taken currently outweighed the thought and it was one of the things he adored about his Potion's Professor.

He gasped when something warm touched the head of his cock, looking down he saw that Severus was sucking on it as if it were a lollipop, the scene both pleasurable and erotic. He wanted that mouth over his entire length so he tried bucking his hips but to no avail as Severus matched the movement, following it upwards. The tension was infuriatingly frustrating but in a good way, Harry wanted to feel all of the man, right here, right now. However he didn't have time to voice his opinion when his prick was engulfed fully, the tip hitting the back of Severus's throat at the same time as he hummed making Harry cry out mostly surprised at the intense pleasure he was struck with.

Severus was laughing at him now, loving how responsive the teen was to his attention. His chuckling came out in bouts of humming and it was tearing Harry apart from only that one piece of anatomy.

"Mmmmngah, Severus!" Harry cried out, his words not exactly coherent as he felt the imminent orgasm approaching, simply from Severus's expert tongue.

As soon as he started speaking however, that's when Severus stopped and he stood, leaning over Harry watching his facial expressions turning sour when he realized the action had stopped. He looked up at the man as if to say, _what are you doing?_ But he simply smiled down at the green-eyed boy mischievously, his slowly appearing grin appearing lopsided. Harry looked up in astonishment, he had missed this side of his lover, the way he could be playful, serious and dare he say it cute all in the matter of minutes.

"Harry…" He breathed, coming down to kiss the teen languidly as a hand reached down and gripped the naked erection.

"Severus, please. No more games let me finish, please." Harry pleaded, he wasn't proud of it, yet he _had_ challenged the man to make him squirm.

"Hmm, how should I do it, Harry? Tell me, tell me what you want." Severus was now nibbling on his ear lobe as well as stroking his cock and he mumbled a combination of moaning and groaning before bucking his hips upward.

"Just, make me… Suck me, jerk me off, just… Severus, fuck me!" Harry blabbed, his head trying get away from the arousing nibbles that was occurring to his earlobes and just behind the ear.

"Are you sure?" He pulled back to stared down at the flushed looking cheeks of his boy, he wanted to be certain that that was what he truly wanted because it was pretty quick his change of mind.

"Yes, Severus I need to feel you inside me again!" Harry admitted, his voice cracking with sexual frustration.

"Only if you're – "

"Just do it!" Harry demanded and within a second he was left feeling cold and exposed as Severus stood.

Harry's legs were then grabbed by the ankles and thrown around on the mattress so his feet were facing the end of the bed. He turned to glance at Severus as the man dropped his pants and briefs in record time before gracefully climbing onto the bed and hovering above him. From there, he raised his head so he could kiss his naked bed partner but it only lasted a few minutes as Severus pulled away and leaned towards the bedside table to grab something out. It was a phial of clear liquid from what he could see and placed on the bed beside them.

"You're sure this is what you want?"

"If I wasn't, I wouldn't be laying here, Severus. You should know that by now." Harry half-heartedly snapped before he was assaulted by kisses but soon the lips were gone from his shoulder as the man pulled away.

"Just checking." He smirked and took the phial that was now by Harry's head.

Severus took the stopper out and slipped a finger inside to coat it with the lubricant, he kept one eye trained on Harry as he did this, he wanted to proceed badly but he didn't want the teen to feel pressured into doing this. It had been a long time and a series of events that had occurred between their last encounter such as this, Harry had mentioned that he wanted to start off from where they left but even then they had only been shagging for a week.

He took his coated finger and made the youth spread his legs so he could sit between them. He knelt on the bed and moved so he was hovering over Harry, his finger moving slowly towards the pink entrance that twitched when he rubbed over it before moving back higher up his crack. He wanted to make sure there was as much lubricant as possible, so he coated his finger again before repeating the journey. However by the third time, Harry mewled impatiently and tried to impale himself on the finger that was teasing him, at this point Severus took pity on him and applying a little pressure he breached the tight ring and wriggled around.

Harry could remember that this part wasn't the best, however the speed at which he was being stretched was, in his opinion ridiculous, so he tried moving about to quicken the preparations. He could tell that the other man was aware of this but nothing was said, instead, he leaned down to kiss Harry, their lips molding together, Severus's tongue darting into his mouth and moving about in the same circular motion as his finger was doing. It was a different feeling from what he could remember and when the sensitive nerves were brushed over he was seeing stars.

Severus used this as a distraction to enter a second finger and kiss him with a little more vigor. He could feel the muscles tightening around his digits but with the hand that was still holding the lubricant, stroked the outside of Harry's thigh with his thumb that was able to do so. Harry felt himself relaxing, the soothing touches from the older Wizard calming him just in time for a third finger to be added into his ass. His prostate was rubbed over again, then after a beat he felt it touched again, sending pleasure shooting through him and making him cry out. He knew he was ready, the fingers still burned his ring a little but he knew that this was the moment he was prepared to take in Severus's large erection.

"Severus, do it, I'm ready." He said desperately as he looked into the brown eyes.

"Yes, Harry… Mmm, yes you are." Severus purred back before he pulled himself upwards so he could sit back on his knees.

Harry watched as the lubricant was applied to the entirety of the man's cock, it looked ready to burst it was so hard and his balls matched its red colour as they bulged with need. He then saw Severus reposition himself, lifting his hips with both hands this time until he felt he erection brushing his prepared entrance. Harry was holding his breath again, this was it, after roughly six months of hell he was finally getting back with Severus in every sense of the word and the feeling was overwhelming.

The moment Severus's member pushed on his entrance, he groaned and fisted the duvet cover he was sprawled across. Then like before, the sensitive part of his canal had pressure applied to it as the erection slid past making him see stars, it was too much, his emotions finally welling up inside him and he felt tears welling up in his eyes. He shut his eyes quickly, knowing that he was being watched from above and he didn't want the man to stop his movements just because he was having a weak moment. It wasn't because he was in pain, it was the emotional side of what they were doing and Harry could feel the little fissures of pain slowly pushing their way out of his soul.

Severus was finally, up to the hilt, buried within Harry and he let out a breath he had been holding as he let the teen adjust properly to his size. It was too long that he had been waiting to feel this again, he enjoyed the tightness he experienced every time he entered Harry, he could feel the contracting muscles when ever he hit a sweet spot within and it was rewarding to watch the facial expressions along with it. He was looking at Harry in this current point of time, surprised to see his eyes shut and a tear track down one side, he was sure he hadn't hurt him physically so he leaned down and pressed his forehead against the smaller one, whispering to his lover.

"What are you thinking?" His voice was soft.

"Nothing, just – just move, Severus." Harry stuttered back.

"You're crying… You need to be honest remember." Severus echoed his words from when they first started getting together, he knew that he'd gotten to the boy with that comment as well because his eyes snapped open and the passion behind the gaze was strong.

"I'm crying because I'm happy, just move, Severus. Make me feel whole again!" Harry's voice was strong as he yelled in the man's face, he was rewarded with a smug smile at this and he moved his skinny arms to the broad shoulders above him.

"Move you say?" He countered and slowly pulled his hips back to slide almost out of the hot channel.

Harry gave him a heated look full of lust and emotion, it was all Severus could do but try and not shoot off everywhere. His boy looked so debauched spread eagled like he was, so without wasting any more time he thrust back in, burying himself deep inside and making Harry cry out again. He keep his rhythm slow but deep, making sure he was able to go in as far as possible as to give them the most pleasure. As he did this, he repositioned Harry's legs so they were sitting up on his shoulders and gripped on tightly to the front of the teen's thighs to give him enough leverage to thrust in deeply.

Harry made sure he kept his eyes open for this, he wanted to look at Severus, take in every detail of the man as they had sex. He appreciated the way the man's chest flushed red with the strain of thrusting into him, the way his pecks and biceps flexed with every thrust that was made, even down to the expressions that were made every now and then that Harry knew only he would ever see. In his own words, Severus was perfect, in body and mind.

Suddenly, Harry tensed, his body reaching a new peak in the build up to an orgasm, when Severus turned his head to the side and started pressing light kisses to the inside of his ankles. It was such a caring action and he forced himself to release one hand from the duvet to wrap around his own erection, beating off to the erotic sight of the man giving his sensitive spots kisses. Severus too found it an erotic act, and if he wasn't on the verge of losing all grip on his impulses, he would have ventured further along the boy's legs, but when he looked down to see Harry's face, his mouth forming a circular shape, the coil within snapped and he filled the teen with his seed.

Harry had made that face because he too was seconds away from losing all sense of reality as Severus had just penetrated him at the right angle for him to feel it all through his body. However when he focused on the man above him, he saw before feeling the climax he was experiencing, he too felt his muscles tensing and pleasure ripping through him. He felt the warmth filling him from within as well as covering his abdomen, telling him that they were both releasing at the same time and it was a special moment for him, seeing his Professor so unguarded like he usually was in these situations, that he felt new tears forming.

He covered his eyes in embarrassment but Severus wasn't going to have any of it and he felt a hand moving his arm away. This happened just before he felt the older Wizard pulling out of him and he felt the loss immediately, however he was soon pulled into the man's embrace as he fell sideways onto the bed beside him. They lay there for a good ten minutes, both thinking about what had happened and analyzing feelings.

"I missed this." Harry heard him say from behind.

"Same." Harry admitted, sighing as he sunk further into the warm arms.

The events that they had participated in finally caught up with Harry and moments later Severus felt him go limp in his arms. He stayed as still as he could, he didn't know what to do, did he go and put Harry to bed in the spare room and leave him or keep him where they were and pray that when they woke in the morning it was a positive affair.

In the end, he decided on the latter and slowly, as to not disturb Harry's slumber, and covered their naked bodies with the duvet. He smiled to himself, his lips pressing against the back of the exposed neck as he whispered _goodnight_ to his lover. Yes, Harry was definitely his lover, his boyfriend, his partner, what ever term the teenagers used in this current day and age.

He had to scoff at how soft he was becoming, he would only ever admit that to Harry however, no one else would ever see this side of him, no one. Not the Headmaster, not the students; only Harry.

* * *

 **Woah, okay… Too soppy? Tell me :P**


	20. Chapter 20

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When Harry woke the next morning, he was sore all over and his muscles feeling stiff when he tried to move. He remembered immediately what had happened that night, Severus had definitely given him something to remember and at the time he had forgotten how sore he would be as he currently was. He didn't mind however, and as he went to roll onto his back he relished in the familiar setting, the smell of polished wood and Severus's scent that appeared to be laced in everything around his home.

Once he was on his back, he turned his head and looked at the sleeping man beside him. It was surprising how everything had panned out that night, he hadn't expected to go all the way with the older Wizard because after thinking about it he wasn't sure he was ready to jump back into it all so quickly. He didn't regret it by any stretch of the imagination, what had felt right had felt right, he couldn't have asked for anything else.

Smiling a little, Harry watched as Severus started to wake, rolling onto his side so they were face to face. It seemed that the man could feel he was being observed, so sleepily he opened his eyes, rubbing them before focusing on a smiling teen in front of him. Harry leaned forwards and pressed his lips to Severus's, not letting it go any further and pulling away, it was calming to the Potion Master's nerves immediately, he hadn't known how it was going to play out this morning, he didn't know if the teen was ready to share a bed quite so soon.

"Hmm, good morning." He purred, trying to keep the light mood there seemed to be this morning.

"I definitely feel it. It's been a while since I've felt _this_ sore." Harry mused and went to stretched his back, only to wince as his backside rubbed against the sheets.

"I'm not apologizing, you were rather insistent."

"Remind me never to seek you out for comfort." Harry huffed with amusement in his voice before turning away and sitting up.

He was able to set his feet on the floor with great difficulty, he knew that a hot shower or even bath would be the key to his muscles feeling soothed and that was what he was going to do. He missed the faltering smile on his Professor's face from behind as he went to stand, Severus had thought they could spend some time in bed, _reacquainting_ , or something along those lines before having to get up for the day. Even though he and Harry had shared their memories the other day, it was still surprising how closed off the teen was when it came to his emotions, from being able to read him like a book to not understanding the gazes he received was rather startling. He was noticing it in their combined interactions too, Harry seemed more mature than he was previously, not that this was a concern but the level he was sitting at for a teenager _was_ concerning.

"I'm going to have a shower… Or something." Harry announced when he saw Severus staring off into space and it snapped him back to reality.

"Of course, would you like me to run you a bath or give you some pain relief?"

"I should be okay." Harry replied as he hobbled around the bed towards the door.

Severus just sat there and watched, leaning back against the headboard as his younger lover struggled to the door. He sighed, audibly, before getting out of bed himself and standing in front of the teen so he couldn't get past. He had expected some sort of backlash initially but when he just stood there and looked up at him with a blank facial expression he was baffled.

"Let me help you."

"Severus, I don't need your help. Okay, you gave it your all last night and I'm sore because it's been a while since I've had sex but you don't need to run around after me. I _am_ an adult now, so you don't nee – "

"Harry, are we not together? Are we not lovers or partners, or whatever you want to define us as? Can I not have the opportunity to take care of you and make sure you are physically fine? You may be an adult in terms of age but I – "

" _Stop!_ " Harry shouted, finally letting a bit of emotion rise to the surface, "I don't need you treating me like a baby. I'm fine, deal with it." He snapped and with all the gathered strength he had, moved past the older man and shut himself away in the bathroom.

Severus, feeling physically naked and cold, moved back to the bed and pulled the covers over himself as he heard the water start in the shower. He didn't want to treat him like a child, he wanted to make sure he didn't regret the night they had shared, but apparently he was going about it the wrong way. He couldn't understand, Harry had felt lost when they had sex for the very first time, he was clingy and needy but then again he _had_ expected that and was only happy to oblige. Now however, it was the opposite but it didn't seem like the teen was unhappy about the night, he just seemed far too independent towards something romantic they had just shared.

In the bathroom, Harry was leaning against the shower wall, he felt odd in some aspects, like there was something missing but he wasn't able to identify what it was. He had thought that by looking after himself he would feel independent but when he thought back to the blow out the two of them had just had he wondered if he was wrong. Harry was desperately trying to seek independence, being able to do things by himself where he probably shouldn't be. _Perhaps I was too hard on him_ , he concluded as he went about cleaning his body, _I should apologize._

Finishing up in the shower, he toweled himself dry and wrapped it around his waist, he spied the black bathrobe hanging on the back of the door; he could remember when Severus covered him in it after their shared bath and the warm fuzzy feeling he had afterwards. Severus only cared about his well being and Harry was being an asshole about it now, he hadn't thought he had changed as much as it was becoming clear, the thought was a little disconcerting but he knew what he had to do and that was to apologize for his actions.

He went to Severus's bedroom door, it was ajar but he couldn't hear anything on the other side. He knocked anyway and heard movement before he was let in, surprising the teen when he saw the man still in bed, the covers up to his chin. He instantly felt terrible about how they had left things a few minutes ago and he went to sit on the side of the bed, he hadn't ever seen the man sulk quite like this before, well, that's if sulking would be the right word for it.

"Severus, I'm sorry for just now. I know you're only trying to… you know… help." Harry looked down at his lap, he felt very small at this point.

"The dynamics of our relationship have changed." Severus replied as he sat up, leaning against the headboard.

Harry eyed the man's bare chest as the duvet slipped down to his waist, he licked his lips subconsciously before pulling his gaze away and back down to his lap. The man certainly _was_ attractive in the most unconventional way but he wouldn't change anything about it because every time he set eyes upon the broad chest his stomach filled with butterflies.

"I guess they have." Harry responded dejectedly and sighed, he still had feelings for the man but things weren't coming as easily for them as he had thought.

"Give it time. Perhaps last night was too soon? We'll take it slowly."

"But last night felt so right, I wouldn't have let what happened have occurred if it wasn't what I really wanted." Harry was getting wound up; he wanted things to be like they were before.

"You're rushing it," Severus said and moved forwards a little so he could take Harry's hands, "Tell you what, I'm going to take you out for dinner tonight."

Harry's head snapped up at this and he found the calming brown eyes at arms length away, _dinner?_ Severus was actually asking him on what? A date? His heart-starting racing at this, it was certainly a step up from previous times and this was serious. Well, he thought it was serious because he had never been asked out to dinner before, the result making him feel like a little child who was excited to get their presents at Christmas. His stomach knotting and twisting, his thighs tensing with the overwhelming desire coursing through his body and it made what had just happened before disappear into nothing.

"I would like that." Harry replied finally, his voice very small and timid.

"I need to see my friend in town, he has ordered an ingredient I've been trying to source. You should join me, choose a restaurant that you think you may like in the town."

"Okay." Harry replied again, small and shy like.

"Excellent," Severus said and slid out of bed, not even caring in the slightest that he was naked and went to stand in front of Harry who was still only clad in a towel, "The dynamics may have changed, but we can adapt."

At this, the older Wizard leaned forwards and gave the teen a quick kiss before quickly darting out of the room to take his own shower. The actions creating a storm of emotions within the younger Wizard, he was happy, anxious and nervous, apprehensive as well as sad but he couldn't choose one to feel currently and it was unsettling. _I need to distract myself_ , he thought and jumped up to get dressed in the other room.

It wasn't long after this where Harry found himself locked away in his room after breakfast. He felt the need to distance himself a little from the intensity of what was happening downstairs, it wasn't as though it was a drama being around the older Wizard but he almost felt suffocated with his feelings towards him. He couldn't ever remember feeling this passionately towards someone but then again, he hadn't had a relationship before.

They had broached the issue about doing a higher-level Potion's class with just the two of them for the New Year; Harry was very adamant that he wanted to continue and was going to do so regardless of whether he had someone mentoring him. He didn't think Severus had really considered how much reading he had done over the course of the year, he could practically make anything he wanted, it was the inventing aspect that he was going to need some help with.

Speaking of inventing, Harry had pulled his notes on Dark spells out where he sat in the middle of his bed. He already had two spells that were his but he wanted to go further and create something else, though at this point he wasn't really sure what it was that he wanted to create but the project was calming for him because he needed to have a clear mind to be able to think properly. It was in this relaxed state that Severus found him an hour after they had parted from breakfast but he had no idea what the teen was actually doing, he thought that he was simply studying.

"I was thinking of heading out now." Severus said from the doorway.

"Okay, I'll be right down." Harry replied, systematically placing his notes away in the Dark Arts textbook he had been using at Durmstrang.

After this, Harry jumped up and chucked his shoes on before standing in front of his lover who hadn't moved from the doorway. He looked up at him with a wry smile and then pushed him towards the landing, from there they made it outside and turned in the direction of the town.

"May I ask what you are working on?" Severus asked when they had reached the end of Severus's block.

"Just some research, I'm quite interested in the workings of spells." Harry admitted, he hadn't lied exactly but he felt the need to leave out the _Dark Arts_ aspect to his research.

"Spells? That's quite advanced, Harry."

"I know, but I'm interested in learning more, just like the invention of Potion's. I guess I've reached that point where I am more curious into how things work rather than just trying to master the spells themselves."

Severus was surprised by this level of thinking, the Harry that had left for Durmstrang was more concerned about just getting through school but it seemed that he was looking more into the future. The inventing aspect was new to Severus, of course he was able to play around with Potion's and spells himself and he appreciated that the teen was wanting to follow in his footsteps. _Definitely more mature than before_ , he thought as he risked a glance at the shorter Wizard who was walking in step with him.

"Something wrong?" Harry asked, he felt the gaze on him immediately but Severus just shook his head, smiling ever so slightly at the thought of the teen wanting to follow in his footsteps.

"Merely thinking. Now, do you want to come with me or should I leave you to it?" Severus asked, his arm outstretched to show the main street where small restaurants were situated.

"You can go on ahead," Harry smiled and went to walk off, only to turn back a couple of steps, "Is there anything you don't like?"

"I haven't dined in the town before, so surprise me." Severus smirked and then followed the teens motion of walking in his desired direction as Harry walked to the other side of the street.

It humored Harry how secluded Severus kept himself, but the fact that they were both eating in a restaurant that neither of them had been to was a little thrilling. _Of course he hasn't eaten here before_ , he huffed in amusement, _I wouldn't come here by myself either_ , he concluded when he looked at the menus lined up down the street. The restaurants looked so intimate and cosy, something he felt would make his Professor feel a little overwhelmed, or perhaps that wasn't the best word to use, _out of place?_ He thought and nodded to himself as he approached the third diner. It looked really nice on the inside from what he could see through the door and after closer inspection of the menu he decided this to be the best one.

Harry didn't really know how busy it was going to be on a week night but thought about going in and making an inquiry as to whether they could get a table. Wandering in, he was met by a blonde female, she looked him over appreciatively and squared her shoulders a little making her busty chest pull on the buttons of her shirt. Whilst she was attractive, she gave off an odd aura so he was immediately turned off by this.

"Hello, how can I help?" She offered politely and Harry smiled in return.

"I was wondering if I could book a table or… something." He didn't really know how to go about this and her presence wasn't helping the situation.

"Was it for tonight?" She asked and Harry nodded, "Okay, table for one?" She winked as she asked this and he raised his eyebrows at the boldness of her actions.

"Uh, two thank you." He replied but her face didn't falter and she looked down at a book on the table.

"What time would you like to book for hun?"

"Uh, six, I think." He frowned at this, he didn't appreciate her endearment.

"Fantastic, I'll see you then…" She trailed off, expecting him to say which name the reservation would be made under.

"Oh, Harry." He finished off for her feeling a little stupid but she smiled warmly before he excused himself.

Outside on the street he felt his cheeks flushing with embarrassment, he hadn't realized this would be such a hard thing to do, though to be fair it was the first time he'd ever made a booking for something like this. The whole exercise was rather exciting and he smiled a little as he looked down the road to find the store where Severus would be loitering about in. He found it a few shops down and crossed the empty street, shielding his eyes from the low sun before it was covered by the shadows on the opposing side of the road.

"Everything alright?" Severus asked when he walked through the door, it seemed he was on his way out anyway.

"No worries, we're book in for six at," He turned and ducked under the signage from the inside of the Potion's store so he could look at the restaurants name from across the road, "Stellar Stella's."

"Excellent." Severus replied warmly and opened the door for Harry as they stepped onto the street.

"I guess it's not just the Wizarding world that can't come up with original names." Harry mused to himself, eyeing the restaurant exterior a little more critically now that he knew what it was called.

"Yes, human's, by definition aren't all that creative, are we?"

At this the teen turned his head and focused on the man beside him, it was odd to think that there was no reason for them to get into trouble now that he was of age, _perhaps I could hold his hand?_ He wondered but looked away and ahead of them as they strolled back to the house. When they reached the threshold of the town however, Harry remembered about his friends letter that he hadn't responded to, it had been a few days now and he just knew that they would be worried if they didn't hear from him. _Merlin, if they go to the house and I'm not there…_ He stopped his thoughts and turned to Severus, he was going to need an owl to send his letter seeing as his one had flown off.

"Where has your one got to?" The man asked and Harry shrugged.

"I have no idea. I'm starting to regret ever buying it, I mean, the storekeeper _did_ say that he had had issues with it from previous owners."

"So what prompted you to choose it anyway?" Severus was curious.

"I guess it was a different time." Harry replied vaguely, not wanting to bring up the painful past that he was trying to bury.

"Wait," Severus said desperately as he grabbed Harry's upper arm as he tried to powerwalk off down the street without him, "You know I don't think less of you?"

"Severus, please, I just want to move on from this."

"Those memories weren't everything were they? What are you keeping from me?"

Harry looked into his eyes imploringly, he hadn't left anything out exactly, but he supposed he hadn't been completely honest about the Dark spell creations. _No, he doesn't need to know about that, it doesn't concern him_ , even though these thoughts were running through his mind, a voice in the back of his mind reminded him of the possibility that someone could accidentally get hurt if he were to get angry. He tried to ignore this voice though and narrowed his eyes at the man standing in front of him, blocking his way back to the house.

"Why would I need to keep anything from you? Can you not trust that I've bared _everything_ to you? What more do you want from me?" Harry snapped suddenly and tore his arm out of the man's grasp.

"I – "

"No, enough. We're going back to the house and I'm going to write to my friends; this conversation is over." The teen interrupted and stalked off leaving Severus standing there by himself until he shook his head, following diligently behind.

The Potion's Master frowned as he looked at the boy trying to out walk him back to the house wondering what the hell had happened to him to become this soft. He had never tolerated anyone who would speak back and give him an attitude, but here the teen was, acting as if he wore the pants in the relationship. _I don't want to push him away but I want to understand where this is coming from_ , he thought as he managed to fall into step with Harry. It was slightly amusing to see him huffing petulantly when he was gained upon, however neither of them said anything and walked in silence the rest of the way back.

Harry was quick to dart away upstairs when they arrived back at Severus's house, the older Wizard wasn't going to go up after him, he had his own concerns right now and made a beeline for his lab so he could clear his mind through brewing. Whatever the teen wanted to do for now, he was going to let happen because he didn't want to create a storm before they went out for dinner that night. Once he was in there however, he immediately remembered the book and parchment that Harry had been looking over when he had interrupted before their walk into the town. It appeared to be notes, well the teen had said that he was interested in the workings of spells. There had to be something in there that would explain his behaviour, there was something that he was working on and Severus got the feeling that he had been hiding it from him. That was the secret, he had no doubt about it but he didn't know where Harry would keep it, it wasn't exactly something he imaged the younger Wizard just leaving about the place.

Up in his bedroom, Harry was sitting at the desk with parchment in front of him poised to reply to his friends. He knew he was going to have to tell them where he was, what If they wanted to come and visit him? He sighed, letting his head hit the top of the desk, rolling it from side to side he thought about how he could formulate this letter to make it seem that he was okay and not to worry. Of course, if he actually wrote that then they would definitely worry so he decided in the end that honesty was, indeed, the best way to go about it.

When he was done, he sealed it up and stood. After pacing the room for a few minutes he finally felt determined enough to go and asked Severus if he could borrow the man's owl to send this letter. His own owl still hadn't reappeared from wherever she had gone and he was starting to think that perhaps he should purchase another one seeing as she was no longer around. He had hoped she would come back, he had even considered flooing back to Grimmauld Place to check if she had gone back there but the idea of stepping back in that house was something he didn't exactly feel appealing.

Severus looked at the back of the door to his lab when there was a knock and he flicked his hand for it to open revealing a timid teenager with emerald eyes that wouldn't meet his own. He waved him in, satisfied that Harry still had some manners even though he technically lived there now too, and watched as he came to stand at the opposite side of the table.

"What can I do for you, Harry?" Severus asked, glancing down at his ingredients list for affect.

"I was wondering if I could borrow your owl to send a letter." Harry replied softly and the man looked up, locking eyes briefly before green eyes were adverted.

"You may. Perhaps you should head into Diagon Alley and purchase a new one before term resumes." Severus's voice was a little more firmer than he had intended but it seemed to have an interesting affect on the teen who nodded and started inspecting a scratch in the wood table.

"Harry?" He asked, this time softly.

"When I've done this, would you like some help?" It was a sudden change in topic but Severus knew it was so they could move on from what ever was happening between the two of them currently.

"Of course." He replied and then watched as the teen left the room for a few minutes before coming back and rolling his sleeves up, ready to work.

* * *

The afternoon was filled with mostly silence until it was time to get ready for dinner where they both shut themselves away in respective rooms to get changed. Harry was quite nervous, he didn't really know why but he was, so much so that as he tried to do up the buttons on his shirt his hands were shaking so he couldn't do them up. He had never been on a date before, he supposed this was supposed to be a romantic thing between two people and whilst he was excited, the nerves were getting the better of him. He thought it stupid, if he wanted to analyze it, technically they were just getting dinner, something they did together every night when they sat at the dinner table. _But this time it's out in public_ , he realized and he suddenly felt his throat go dry with the image of the two of them dining together. Sure, they couldn't get into trouble now but they would certainly be eyed up… _Oh no_ , he sighed, giving up on his hair that was becoming long and lay across his face as he fell backwards onto the bed.

"What if someone says something?" He said softly to himself and turned his head violently, hearing it click as a knock came from the door.

"Everything alright?" Severus asked as he came in, seeing the predicament his lover had gotten himself into.

"I – Yeah, everything is fine." Harry said, sitting up and moving over to the mirror so he could try and attempt his buttons on the black shirt he was wearing.

He tried not to look at the older Wizard, he simply looked divine and he swallowed every time he saw the man's reflection behind him in the mirror. His buttons just wouldn't do up for him though and he sighed, hanging his head before hearing movement from behind him and hands on his shoulders.

"You look a sinful mess." He purred in Harry's ear and felt a shiver go through the teen.

"I can't get ready…" He whispered in reply, his tone sounding defeated.

"I'm a little nervous myself, Harry. It's okay," Severus purred again, this time his arms moving so he could rest his fingers on the front of Harry's hips, "Would you like me to do it?" He continued and felt a nod of the head against his neck.

Harry couldn't look up at the situation; he was too embarrassed and nervous to even meet the man's eye especially when he realized there was a spell for getting clothing done up. To make things worse, the treatment he was receiving was turning him on, he could feel his length hardening against the material of his black pants. The fingers that were doing up his buttons, Harry thought, were purposefully stroking against his chest as his shirt was done up, it didn't help the situation, yet he got the feeling Severus knew this and was doing it to tease him.

Finally, the shirt was done and he looked up through the annoying piece of hair covering part of his face to find his eyes fixing on Severus's. There was a certain charge he felt from that gaze and his cock hardened fully as he felt hands running down the sides of his body and resting on his hips. He turned his head, finding Severus's inches away from his own and moved himself up and forwards to give the man a kiss. Even though they would have spats every now and then over the past few days, he didn't mind trying to make it up by pressing his lips against the older Wizard's, just to let him know that he wasn't truly angry with him.

"You need a haircut, but for now, I'll take you as you are." Severus said when they pulled away and was rewarded with a shy smile from the teen.

"I do, but it'll take time. Speaking of which, what _is_ the time?"

"Time to go." Severus replied and Harry nodded, turning back to the mirror and giving himself the once over.

He was dressed head to toe in black, he didn't feel too bad about this considering Severus was dressed in a white shirt and tight black leather jacket, black pants and shoes. Harry didn't know the man owned a leather jacket but he would definitely be keen on seeing him wear it more often, he looked damned fine right now.

Harry followed him out and downstairs; when they made it outside onto the street he felt the man take his hand and give it a gentle squeeze. It was weirdly comforting and he turned his head to look at his lover, the clear sky allowed for the bright full moon to shine over them, lighting the way into town and giving Severus an almost luminous complexion.

When they arrived at the restaurant, Severus broke hold of his hand to open the door for him, then they both walked up to the maître Dee.

"Good evening." The man said and Severus told the man they had a reservation.

"What was the name?"

"Harry, table for two." The teen answered, realizing Severus wouldn't have known.

"Perfect, please follow me." The man said and walked towards the back of the restaurant to a corner booth.

"Would either of you like any drinks?"

"We are fine for now, thank you." Severus replied as they made themselves comfortable and the waiter disappeared.

"I wouldn't even know what to drink, I think water will be fine." Harry mumbled as he eyed the restaurant that was moderately full at this time of night.

"I figured, but have a look anyway." Severus said in amusement, handing Harry the drinks menu.

They were able to have a look at both menus for a few minutes before a familiar bubbly voice was heard from the next table over and Harry felt like shrinking into the booth cushions, he had forgotten _Miss Over-Friendly_ would be working tonight.

"Oh, there you are. I was wondering if you were going to cancel. Are the two of you ready to order?" She asked, her voice gushing as she approached them both.

"Harry?" Severus prompted and he shook his head before ordering what he wanted.

"Awesome, now did either of you want drinks tonight?"

"Water is fine." Harry croaked out, his voice failing him all of a sudden.

"Okay, I'll bring it right over." She said chirpily and he risked a glance up at her just as she winked at him.

"Merlin, could she be any more obvious." Harry huffed, sitting back into the cushions of the booth.

"If she knows what's best for her…" Severus trailed off, the hint of a smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth.

They sat in relative silence; they of course made small talk with each other for a while as they waited for their meals. They had been taken over to the corner booth, each of them sitting at a ninety degree angle, perfect for those _innocent_ little bumps under the table. Severus, it seemed, was rather enjoying himself as he ran a finger up the outside of Harry's knee just as the waitress came over with their meal making the teen gasp and blush when he reached the apex of his thigh.

"Here we go." She said enthusiastically, smiling down at Harry a little longer than she should have before walking away.

"You're very distracting." Harry mused, digging into his pork.

"Can't help it I'm afraid." His date replied and they both smiled down at their meals.

Harry loved the light banter between them that they shared every now and then, it was refreshing and he felt his stomach fill with butterflies each time this happened. For now though, Severus had thankfully stopped trying to touch him whilst he ate, he didn't know if he could take much more of the touches every time he looked up to see the man. He couldn't get over the jacket either, there was something about the way it sat on him that made his insides knot and his mouth go dry, Severus was looking very sexy right now. The realization of what he had just though made his cheeks stain red with a mild blush and he looked down at his plate, feeling like a hormonal teenager realizing his first crush. It was embarrassing.

"I wish I knew what you were thinking." Severus said leaning forwards so he could whisper it.

"You, actually. You and that damn jacket." Harry rushed out and tried a timid smile to let the man know he wasn't snapping at him.

"Oh, you like it do you? Hmm, thought I might try something a little different, I believe it has had the desired effect."

"Well, it looks good – you look good." Harry stumbled with his words, not really sure where his sudden shyness had come from, he had spent half a year at Durmstrang, he wasn't supposed to be acting like this.

"Ah, I think I've found him. You know, Harry, whilst I admire the new attitude, I especially love this side of you." This time Severus _did_ put his hand on Harry's thigh, very close to the top, and squeezed.

This public display made Harry squeeze his legs together to stop the man from venturing any higher, because if he did he knew there would be groans of pleasure filling the restaurant and it wasn't particularly something he wanted to happen. Harry woofed down the rest of his meal and pushed his plate away before trying to get the man back, unfortunately, the waitress came back over to clear their plates and he lost his nerve at trying to put his hands on the man next to him.

"How was everything?" She asked them and Harry heard Severus answering for him, "That's great to hear, would you like to have a look at the dessert menu?"

"Did you feel like dessert?" Severus asked, looking at him and Harry nodded, "Then yes please."

"Perfect, I'll be right back."

Harry looked over the menu, he loved anything chocolate but was a little disappointed that there was limited options. He decided to go with the trio of ice cream, there were some variations of chocolate within that, so he felt happy with his decision. He then looked up to Severus only to find the man gazing at him with an interesting smug expression, so putting the menu down Harry leaned on the table and narrowed his eyes at the man, he could tell there was something brewing in that brilliant mind.

"What are you thinking?" He asked but didn't receive a reply, just an eyebrow was raised a little.

"Have we made a decision?" The over-friendly waitress was back and Harry rolled his eyes at the man whose smug look intensified.

"Yeah, I'll have the ice cream thanks." Harry replied, tearing his eyes away from his lover and meeting the waitresses.

"Okay, and for you?" She asked, turning to Severus.

"I'm fine actually." He started and the girl smiled warmly at him.

"Okay, I'll just go – "

"But I would appreciate two spoons." Severus interrupted and Harry felt his throat close up, he couldn't believe the man would say something like that.

"Of course." She replied politely and walked off.

"Two spoons? What if I don't want to share?" Severus smiled at the teen who was now petulantly leaning back into the booth, his arms crossing over his chest.

" _I'm_ the one who doesn't like to share, Harry. I am simply marking my territory." There was a certain depth to the man's voice and the younger Wizard found himself trying to establish the hidden meaning behind those words.

It became abundantly clear however when the waitress returned and Severus reached over to take his hand as dessert was pushed across the table. Harry's eyes shooting straight over to the girl delivering his food and seeing the unsure glance she was giving them both. _So that was what he meant_ , he concluded when Severus started stroking the back of his hand with a thumb before taking a spoon and tucking into his ice cream.

"Sneaky." Harry whispered to himself.

"Slytherin." Was the whispered answer as the teen watched the older Wizard help himself to some of the ice cream.

"Mmm, would you like some?" He asked, putting the spoon back in for another helping.

"Hence the reason for ordering it." Harry huffed in amusement but as he went to take the other spoon Severus beat him to it and snatched it away.

"Here, let me help you." His voice was deep and seductive, Harry thought, much like the chocolate ice cream that was about to be fed to him.

The younger Wizard didn't know whether he should be flattered or horrified that this was currently happening. He had no idea that Severus would be so brazen as to show their relationship so publically in the restaurant, but alas it was happening as Harry was fed a spoonful of chocolate ice cream by his lover. There was a secret smile that he was being given by the man as another spoonful was taken and fed to him before he watched as Severus took a spoonful for himself. It was at this point he didn't care where he was; he was simply enjoying the company of his older romantic interest as they cleaned up the dessert. He was simply bursting by the end of it, he was incredibly full, and slouched into the booth smiling lazily at the man who was almost beside him.

"I enjoyed that." Severus hummed quietly, leaning closer to Harry and wrapping an arm around him.

"Same." Harry replied, sliding across a little so he could sit comfortably with the mans arm draped over his shoulder.

They were quickly attended to by the male waiter soon after this and he whisked their plate away, Harry finding it odd that the girl who had been looking after them wasn't there but he couldn't completely complain because he was a little relieved. However speaking of which, he found the pressing need to use the toilet, so he nuzzled his face into the crook of Severus's neck as he told him he needed to get out.

"We shall go then, when you come back?" The man said and Harry nodded before looking around for the toilet.

As the Potion's Professor watched his younger lover walking away, he sat down and hailed over the waiter to grab the bill, he wasn't going to have Harry paying for this, he knew that he would offer so it was best to do it whilst he was away. After paying he went to stand and glanced over to where a couple of the wait staff were standing by the hot plate where the meals came out when they were ready, they were looking at him with cautious expressions and whispering to each other. Of course he had expected something to happen, it wasn't exactly what one would call normal for someone who could easily be his own child to be spoon fed in such a way. He just hoped that Harry wouldn't hear the comments, he didn't want the teen to have to deal with that, but then again he supposed it was part of the risk in their relationship.

Harry was coming out of the bathrooms when he halted in his step, flattening himself against the wall as he heard a key phrase that he _knew_ would be about him.

"I think it's wrong, I mean that guy is what, twice his age? I thought the cutie was taking his dad out for dinner but there that man was, spooning food into his mouth, like that guy is totally attractive. He could do so much better than that old guy, like seriously Sarah, totally gross."

He sighed to himself, and peeled himself away from the wall, it was something he had been expecting to hear from others but it still hurt nonetheless. It was a situation where he just had to hold his head high and walk out like nothing bothered him which is exactly what he did, however he stopped when he saw the girls and scowled at them, letting his magic surround him in a protective bubble. The girls smiled at him sympathetically and the waitress that had been serving them during the evening was about to walk over to him when he felt Severus's presence over by the door. Ignoring her, he made his way over and wrapped his arms around the mans waist, resting his head on the broad chest.

"You ready?" The older Wizard asked and Harry pulled away nodding.

He was pulled from the restaurant, a hand guiding his back but Harry glanced behind him to see the two girls watching. He felt daring and wanted to halt in the doorway and kiss the man silly but he didn't think that would be appreciated so decided he would wait till they got home to attack him with kisses.

"Thank you for dinner, Severus." He said instead, as they walked down the quiet street.

"You are most welcome, I enjoyed it immensely, especially the company." He replied, moving his arm so he could intertwine his fingers with Harry's.

They remained silent as they walked home, but it was a comfortable silence and Harry enjoyed the solitude so he could think about how things were progressing. He wanted to say that everything would be fine but he still had the feeling that they were dancing around each other in some aspects. Taking a deep breath he shook his head of those kinds of thoughts, whilst he didn't know much about relationships he had the feeling that that kind of thinking wouldn't get them anywhere so he chose to think of something else. They were immediately sexual thoughts and images of being trapped against something firm as he was taken from behind made his cock twitch with anticipation, he wanted to feel the man inside him again like the night just gone because he always felt better after reacquainting like this.

When they made it back to the house, Harry found himself standing awkwardly in the threshold between the kitchen and living area watching as Severus went over to the liquor cabinet and picking up two tumblers, pouring the amber liquid into them. When the man turned around, he walked towards the teen, hand out stretched as he offered Harry one of the glasses and stopping in front of him. He took it, thanking him, before following the older Wizard to the couch where they both took a seat and sipped on their drinks. It was just as Harry remembered, the strong and bitter liquid burning his throat but making him feel warm from the inside out and it made him feel bold.

"I think I needed that." Harry said after a few minutes, he had chucked it back in the end and embraced the warmth spreading through his body.

"You are utterly useless with alcohol." Severus commented from beside him and took the glass away, putting it on the table beside him.

"There's nothing wrong with the way I drink it." The teen scoffed but Severus snorted at the comment before placing his own glass down, he was done with sipping and savoring it, he wanted to devour his lover.

"Every time you have had it, you've either blinded yourself or burnt your throat. Not what I call smart." As Severus spoke, he kissed his way down Harry's neck before he couldn't get any further because of the buttons.

Harry moaned, his hand rubbing his hardening member before pulling on the lapels of Severus's jacket and pulling sideways to kiss him heatedly. It seemed to take the man by surprise if the disgruntled noise that came from his throat was anything to go by but he didn't take it to heart and he kept up the lashing from his tongue against the his Professor's. He just had this feeling of hot, dirty and _kinky_? Harry wasn't sure if kinky was the right term, he just wanted to be roughly treated by the man who looked like a rebel without a cause in that leather jacket but he didn't know how to verbalize this to the man now positioning himself so he could lift him up.

It wasn't until they got up the stairs and Severus started heading towards the bedroom that Harry pulled away and demanded that they stop right where they were. From his position on the man, he was eyeing the study door and had this unidentifiable urge to be held down on the man's desk that he worked on. It had certainly been difficult to concentrate at the desk in Severus's bedroom that time when he had been trying to study and felt that this would be a good way to get what he wanted as well as tormenting the man in future whenever he wanted to use the room.

"Not the bedroom," He said suddenly and was put down on his feet before his head was taken in strong hands, "In the study." He continued quickly when Severus was about to speak.

"The study?" He asked, and Harry nodded.

"Nothing wrong with the bedroom, but I just… I guess…" Harry was losing his nerve, he didn't know how to ask for what he wanted and it was frustrating because he knew he shouldn't feel like this.

"Harry." Severus said sternly as he put his hands on Harry's waist and pulled their groins together, it caused a shiver to spread throughout the younger Wizards body when he felt the returning erection developing.

"Obviously I want us to have sex, but I kind of want it in there…" Harry started off, pointing behind the man towards the study door, "Laying on your desk?" He finished off, his voice going up an octave as he tried to vocalize what he wanted.

"Indeed." Was all Severus replied with, he had a smug look on his face and pulled Harry towards it by his wrist.

Once the room was lit and the drapes closed, Harry was hoisted onto the table, he was sitting on a book and whilst it was uncomfortable he wriggled around so he could tend to the man's trousers. Severus was about to start undressing himself as he eyed the swollen lipped teen sitting on his desk when he was stopped again and he raised an inquisitive eyebrow at the action. He was getting frustrated with the stop start to their evening of romance, but he knew he had to be patient, even though being with Harry tested said patience and pushed him to the edge.

"Clothes on." Harry explained and smirked when he placed his hands on the black leather jacket he had become fascinated with.

"Ah, I see you enjoy this Muggle attire, am I right?" Severus leaned forwards and nipped at Harry's neck as he whispered in his ear.

"I might find you appealing in the jacket." He was able to get out between muffled moans.

"Well, I would hate to disappoint you now." Severus teased and went to Harry's trousers to undo them before commanding him to stand.

After turning around so Harry was facing away from him, Severus moved towards the teen, pressing his freed erection into the bared backside simply begging to be taken and placing his hands on the teens hips. With his body, Severus pushed Harry forwards so his chest was flat against the papers and books that littered his study desk. He was aware of what ran through the teen's mind, the fact that he would be reminded of this encounter in time to come when he was trying to complete work would become an immense distraction but he was going to let him have it this time, Severus was just going to have to think of some way to get back at him again.


	21. Chapter 21

**.**

 **A big thank you to writer #TheCauldron, for helping me get through my writer's block. I owe this lady so much x**

* * *

Harry spent the next early hours of the following morning tossing and turning, not having had a wink of sleep since he parted ways with Severus and their rendezvous in the man's study. He felt unsettled and irritable, something in his gut telling him he should have gone to bed with the man instead of secluding himself away. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time but the suffocating and overwhelming feeling of what their relationship was and could be was chewing away at him, not to mention he was starting to worry about what his friends would say. He was sure Hermione might have some common sense and actually see the real reason for his choice to stay with Severus over the remainder of the break, Ron he was sure would lose it, he didn't like the man and although he seemed calm enough when told about the fact that they were together it was typical of Ron to go feral over something.

He continued to lay there, sighing and turning from side to side until a noise at his window caught his attention. He thought it odd that an owl would return to him at this hour, his friends usually wrote back to him at a reasonable time and it wasn't as though the weather was terrible for it to be a delayed message. So without any delay he got out of bed and the unmistakeable colour of Hermione's owl came to light as the moon poured through the window making him develop an uncomfortable knot in his stomach, there seemed to be the impending feeling of doom with this letter as the red envelope stood out in the moonlight.

Swallowing a lump in his throat he debated whether or not to open it. There was a very real chance that there wouldn't be anything wrong with the message, he only hoped that he could count on his friends for support when he was feeling so unsure about the whole situation. _There's only one way to find out_ , he thought as he jumped back into bed, his wand poised over the letter as he cast a silent _lumos_ and picked the seal. He thanked Merlin that it wasn't a howler, that would have been embarrassing to listen to, as well as knowing Severus would have heard it as well.

His heart sank when her angry words leaped off the piece of parchment he was holding, the biting sting of harsh accusations making his eyes well up with tears. Harry started thinking that he should have known better than to think that the two of them were above all this, how his _friends_ would be understanding of his situation. It was an unbidden thought he was now muttering to himself like a mantra of, _I'm in too deep, what was I thinking? It is worth it?_ Of course in his right mind he knew he loved Severus but they had been through so much together that he caught himself thinking that perhaps they weren't supposed to be together, that perhaps he should be with someone his own age and maturity. Even as these ideas came into his mind there was a specific reason why he was with Severus and only he knew deep down what had happened in his childhood.

It was after these thoughts that he craved comfort and security, something only his older lover was capable of giving him at this time and so, with shaking limbs, he crawled out of bed and over to his door where he opened it slowly as to not make any noise. He quietly tip toed over to Severus's bedroom door and went to rest his hand on the handle when he stopped, he was having second thoughts about this now because he realised how stupid he had been in the first place for believing he still needed to think about what they were getting into again. He should have just taken the man's open offer to share a bed because now he looked like a right idiot standing timidly on the threshold of his lover's room.

Harry's nervousness roused Severus from his slumber, to be fair he hadn't really gotten a good nights sleep in the first place, but now he was rolling onto his side with his head turned towards his closed bedroom door. He could feel the teen's nervous energy flowing into the room, teeming through the piece of wood separating them but he didn't know what to make of it. He thought it had been made perfectly clear to him that Harry really wanted his space so he wasn't going to react but his concern was there, as it always was for the teen, but he wasn't going to get up, especially not when he heard his door handle rattle. Thinking quickly he turned so his body was now facing away from the door and closed his eyes, he was going to feign his restful sleep to find out Harry's intentions, no doubt he had a fair idea but he didn't want to seem too hopeful. If he had been fully awake and alone he would have scoffed at how soft he was becoming, the way he would pamper the boy's every needs and run around after him.

Harry on the other hand pushed the door open with his head, _Jade_ , his Animagus proving to be a critical asset in his quest to find what he was after without actually having to speak. He knew that even with his memory blocks in place, his face when he was upset would always show it and he didn't want that to happen at this point, Merlin, he wasn't even sure the man would be awake. Not that he wanted that but he didn't want to scare the man at the same time.

Peering around the door he spied the lump on the bed and took on the assumption that he was not facing his way; it was comforting to know he would be able to take his time with this because at best his little legs were shaking so violently he was having trouble walking. He kept reminding himself to take deep breaths, that Severus would accept him and wouldn't judge him, that Severus loved him. With a deep breath in his cat lungs he poised himself ready to overcome the biggest hurdle in this from. Heights. Whilst cats had great jumping abilities, not having spent much time frolicking around jumping from pillar to post meant that it was something new to him still, not to mention the fact that his malnourishment meant his cat form was the equivalent of a grown kitten.

Clawing at the duvet cover, he was able to hoist himself up and onto the bed without too much trouble; the next challenge was getting over Severus's legs without falling on his face as he attempted to manoeuvre himself in the darkness. Even with his improved eyesight in the darkness, the man had pulled his curtains and there was hardly any light at all but he managed without incident and crouched low onto his stomach, mewling softly half a meter away from the older Wizard's body. There was no movement from the man and his breathing showed that he was asleep which deflated Harry's belief that he would be welcomed into open arms. He cried again, this time a little louder and his little heart beat fiercely in his ribcage as he attempted to hold onto his emotions though it wasn't going the way he wanted it to. He coughed in between breathing and found himself commando crawling on his front, tears in his eyes as he made his way over to the man.

He wanted to be cuddled and he wanted to feel the warmth from the man's body calming him and protecting him because the realisation had finally hit him that it was only ever going to be the two of them. No one was ever going to fully understand his reasons for being with Severus because it was more than just being there, it was the whole package with experience, comfort, wealth of knowledge. Everything.

Moving closer still, Harry found an opening between Severus and the bed so he carefully padded towards it and settled under the covers right by where the man's heart was beating steadily. He heard it skip and flutter a few times before it settled back to a steady rhythm and that was all Harry needed to know that his lover knew he was there and hadn't pushed him away. Severus smiled gently from where he lay above the ball of fur pressed into his chest, his last thoughts being how nice it was to have the boy with him but also concerned by the fact he was shaking violently against him.

* * *

It had taken Severus a while after his late night visitor to get back to sleep, the shaking cat curled up beside him had stopped his body from peacefully falling into a slumber. Not that he minded of course, he was grateful at this stage for any contact with Harry but he desperately wanted to know what the problem was. Perhaps it was a conflicting time for him, trying to work out what was appropriate or even what he wanted but there was no way of knowing until the teen came to him and actually spoke up about what was going on in his mind.

He finally woke up midmorning and was happy to feel another body pressed into his own as his arms wrapped around the smaller frame. _Jade_ was gone and Harry lay beside him, seemingly content in the embrace they were in but he knew the boy and his heart stuttered when he thought about what would happen when they woke. Fortunately, this was going to be another positive affair, his lover stretching and curling around back into a comfortable position facing him this time. There was an audible sigh from the teen and he tightened his arms around the slim shoulders, resting his chin atop Harry's head. He didn't want to rouse him from his sleep but he wanted the teen to realise where he was.

Half an hour later and Harry was wriggling about, feeling too warm for his liking and he tried to untangle himself from the predicament he was in but the arms kept him firmly in place. Mumbling in discomfort he found the restraint loosen and he rolled away into a cooler section of the bed. He knew he was in Severus's bed, he was actually grateful that that was where he had ended up because he felt that he needed this comfort right now, especially when the memory of Hermione's owl came to the forefront of his mind. He was going to have to speak with her again, he had thought that when they parted ways on his birthday that she knew what he was going through but apparently she didn't. At this he sighed and it caught the attention of his bed companion.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Severus asked as he faced Harry's back, keeping some distance between them.

Harry didn't reply, instead he started shaking again and it wasn't until a sniffle was heard that Severus realised that his lover was crying. He wasted no time in closing the distance between them and putting his arms around the teen, whatever the matter was it seemed serious, Harry didn't just randomly start crying like this, there was always a reason.

"I got an owl from Hermione in the night, she doesn't understand." Harry started but stopped as he felt the arms around him trying to roll him over so they could look at each other.

"Severus, do you ever feel like you're in too deep? Like you're drowning in a situation and don't know how to stay afloat?" The words surprised the man and he felt his stomach drop as he took in the meaning behind it.

"Yes." His response was cautious and clipped.

"That's how I feel. No one understands. There is only one person I can turn to for all of this and as much as I trust you, it feels a little lonely." Harry was desperately trying to reign in his emotions and not start crying again, he was sniffing enough as it was.

If Severus was honest, he didn't really know what to make of all this. He had felt how strongly Harry wanted to be with him but now with what he was saying it seemed the opposite, then again the boy hadn't pushed him away so he was only speculating that this was a good thing.

"Are you saying… You do not wish to be with me?" Severus had to say it, he had to be direct because he was feeling a lot like Harry was right now, the weight of the boy's decision weighing him down like he too couldn't stay afloat.

"What?! Merlin, no, I'm saying the opposite," Harry said suddenly, getting a handle of his emotions and turning violently in his lovers arms so they were inches away from each other's faces, "I guess I've just realised that people will never understand the choices I've made. It's difficult to get your head around the fact that your best friend will never truly get why it is that I'm with you, you're more than just my boyfriend, Severus. I'm beginning to realise you're my _everything_."

The words were hard so say aloud and he heard his voice crack at the last moment but apparently it was the right thing to say because soon he felt a comforting weight on top of him, Severus's face close to his own as he leaned down to kiss him. There was a certain tenderness in their actions and what was once a suffocating feeling turned into a blossoming current that spread through him. It was certainly welcomed and as he raked his fingers across Severus's back, feeling the man's fingers also crossing over his soft skin, all the tension from that night seemingly melted away into insignificance. He thought that perhaps he had been wrong to believe a world with the two of them would be lonely because he technically had everything he needed, right there, right in that moment and it brought a smile to his face.

All too soon however, the kissing and groping stopped leaving Harry feeling needy and clingy. He knew what the time was though and he watched as his lover glanced at the time before looking at the door as if in thought.

"We should get up and seeing as we both need to shower…" He looked at Harry with a raised eyebrow and a small smirk pulled at the corners of his mouth.

Harry returned his smirk and then placed a peck on the corner of Severus's mouth before he was hauled on his feet and dragged into the bathroom. They were both clothed at this point and Harry thought the man looked incredibly sexy dressed in black pyjamas but even more so with him naked. Severus, it seemed, was thinking the same because they both reached for each other simultaneously, the water slowing warming up in the background, filling the awkward silence that had been creeping in on their session.

When Harry was left feeling naked and exposed, Severus in a similar state, he pulled them both under the water, his muscles instantly relaxed when he was under the teaming water and he huddled into the man's body, seeking comfort and reassurance. He was hoping that this bubble that had been placed around them would continue to stay this was, however he knew at some point they were returning back to school. Harry tried to let that thought slide for now because he wanted to ravish the older Wizard currently kneading his buttocks.

Their bodies were flush against each other and Severus's constant grip and massaging caused a gentle rocking motion between their groins eliciting soft mewling from the his younger lover. He brought his lips down to the soft flesh on Harry's neck and laid light kisses before turning them into stronger passionate bites that seemed to bring Harry out of his silent musings to join in on the actions. Once the teen raked his hands over Severus's body he took that as a cue he was ready and ran his finger along the length of his youth's crack, running his finger across the puckered hole in preparation of penetrating its tight ring. Harry made a noise at this but back himself onto the finger, further proving he was ready.

The preparations were quick, the older Wizard not wanting to waste any time before burying himself into the hot channel that gripped tightly onto his length. He wanted to see his lovers face as they had sex, he couldn't bear to make love to him without seeing straight into those bright green eyes. Yes, Harry looked a little more human now that he had been living with Severus, even over that short time the positive energy that he was surrounded by had definitely changed the teen for the better. He could still see the demons written in Harry's eyes, not that he knew what they were specifically, but they didn't look so haunting in this current moment.

"Severus." Harry breathed when he was filled with the long manhood, his head falling back against the tiles his back was pressed against as his legs were hoisted high around the man's body.

"Don't worry about the others. If they are true friends then they will understand and support you. I will always be here for you, understand?" Severus's deep voice resonated around the room and Harry's mind like a calming wave and he nodded numbly, his eyes closed as he rode out the sensations the man's erection was creating within him.

His thrusts we deep and slow, it was always enjoyable to be rough and ready but the constant rhythm and long movements were just as erotic. That's what the Potion's Master believed anyway as he moved a hand to the side of the teens face, cupping it and making the boy open his eyes in the process.

"Keep your eyes open. I want to look at you." He explained and Harry nodded before locking onto passionate brown orbs of his lover.

The look was intense and one Harry fought hard against to not turn away. There was a spark that ignited deep within him and he moaned simply at the desire it created in the pit of his stomach, a feeling so intense that he cried out with pleasure as he came apart to the rhythmic ministrations of his lovers' movements. Severus thought the view was perfect and with some hard thrusts he came moments later, burying his head in the crook of Harry's neck as he regained his breathing.

Once they had calmed, Harry peered up at his Potion's Professor with a dazed expression, the evidence of their session clear in his diluted pupils but it was a look that suited the teen greatly and Severs set about washing him down, carefully mapping out his body as he went. Whilst you could still see the defined bones through Harry's skin, he could tell that there was a little more meat on his frame since he had finished up at Durmstrang and this was comforting to see, his Harry was healing, something he was pleasantly happy about.

When Harry was more alert, he repaid the favour, taking the cloth and washing Severus down, moving over the man's chest, he ran his fingers over the chest hair and found familiarity in the action. He supposed that in the end it didn't matter what his friends thought about his decision, as long as Severus stayed by his side it would okay. He braved a smile at his Professor finishing up with washing the man and stepped into the loving arms. He felt safe here, nothing was going to burst his bubble as long as they were in each other's presence.

* * *

"That's five days away!" Harry exclaimed as he and Severus sat at the table a week later.

After Hermione's owl voicing her polite disgust in the fact he had moved back in with their Potion's Professor and Ron's somewhat mellowed reply where he didn't really know how he felt, the two of them fell into familiar routines. Harry would read or study during the day whilst Severus busied himself in the lab and in the evenings they would _explore_ each other. It felt like old times and it calmed the ex-Gryffindor knowing that he had something that he could call a home as well as someone to share it with.

Now, however Harry sat across from his lover as they ate breakfast in a little bit of a panic. Severus had just received an owl from the Headmaster requesting that he come back to the castle a few days before the term started for the year to assist with final preparations. He didn't feel happy about this, it was three days where he was going to have to entertain himself and he didn't even know if the man was going to let him stay in the house alone. He doubted he would be able to venture into school before the year started, the Headmaster wouldn't allow that. He was sure of this fact.

"Oh please, enough of the dramatics. You will be fine without me for a few days. Besides, you might want to make sure you have everything sorted for the new year. Perhaps read ahead – "

"I've already done that." Harry snapped, his petulant teenage ways rearing its ugly head but Severus found humor in it.

"Then perhaps Potions, or is it not your desire to level out of NEWT's and take a higher grade?"

Harry had forgotten about this, he _had_ asked the man if he could have special lessons above everyone else in his year, he wasn't quite ready to not have class with Severus for the final year and knew that he would find it hard no venturing down into the Dungeons at least once a day.

"Are you going to ask Professor Dumbledore if I can do the next level?" Harry tried not to sound so hopeful but he failed miserably as Severus arched an eyebrow at him.

"Harry, the next level is an Apprenticeship. Perhaps you ought to read up on this and see if it is what you truly want. Of course I could always spend some time with you outside of class with the harder Potions but then we would be going against the Headmaster's back and Merlin forbid I do something _else_ to get in his bad books." Severus explained, his tone getting more serious towards the end and Harry felt his heart ache for his Professor; the man _had_ said to wait until this year to do anything serious in their relationship but he had been impatient and look where that had landed them both.

"Sorry," He mumbled and looked up through his long bangs at the man across from him, "I forgot – "

"Do not worry about it, please, Harry. I will sort something out, but I need to know what it actually is that you want to do. I will not just go and make something up just so that we can have an excuse to see each other during the week, that, and the Headmaster would be able to tell if this was legitimate or not."

"Okay. Well, I want to do Potions and if it's with you I _know_ I'm going to enjoy it more. If the next step is an Apprenticeship then I want to do it." Harry decided, he didn't actually know what it entailed but it sounded promising.

"Very well. I will acquire some brochures about the opportunities so you can make an informed decision, I will also speak with Professor McGonagall and tell her you are interested. I have no doubt she will be supportive of you taking this on." Severus explained and Harry nodded before smiling softly.

"Even if it's with you?"

"I will have you know, Professor McGonagall and I are thick as thieves." The man quipped back and the tension in the room lifted tenfold.

After this, Harry went outside, the warm sun beating down on his face and he closed his eyes to savour it. He knew that he should be preparing for Quidditch when school resumed and he had been going for a run each morning but he needed something more, he needed to get up and onto his broom to work on some skills. He remembered Severus mentioning that there were some pretty strong wards placed around the house, he wondered how far they extended to and walked back inside to ask the man.

A few hours later Harry was up in the sky hovering above the forest by the house. Severus had cast a disillusionment charm over him so Muggles wouldn't be able to see him, it felt weird being in such a position outside of school and Wizarding areas so he felt himself double checking to see if someone was looking at him. He needn't have worried though, no one would even notice him as he sped off through the trees dodging, twisting and turning through the forest at dangerous speeds. It seemed great practice for him, even better than when he was on the Quidditch pitch during training and he wondered if he should do this when school was back in session. It made a much better unpredictable endurance test for him and by the time he returned back to the house he was exhausted with sweat pouring in lines down his face and body.

He had no shame in stripping as he walked the path back into the house, his shirt taking a bit to shrug off as it clung to his back but it was satisfying when the air hit his warm skin making, cooling him down. Severus was walking out of his lab when he walked through the entrance and he raked his eyes hungrily over the teens toned body, however once Harry got closer he turned his head up towards the bathroom.

"That's the smell of hard work, Severus." He commented, smiling at the expression the man was wearing as he neared but didn't stop as he ascended the stairs.

"You wouldn't know even if you fell over it, boy." Severus snarked back but the banter was light and the mood positive as they continued on their separate paths.

By the evening, Harry was sitting at the dining table when Severus came down the stairs with a handful of papers, placing them on the table between them before he sat down for dinner. At the teens' questioning look he pushed them closer and he could see from the top brochure that it was to do with his Apprenticeship, he then thought that the man must have gone out when he was practicing for Quidditch earlier.

"Take a read through those. You will need to make a decision on what you want to do for your thesis early on into the school term but you do not need to decide right now."

"Okay, thank you. What would you suggest I focus on? Obviously it's Potion's so will I need to create a new antidote because I'm pretty sure most of them would be done." Harry sighed a little defeated at this realisation but he really didn't know anything about this process so he was trusting Severus would guide him.

"It could be anything, Harry. Just that it has to be Potion's related. You could study the effects of certain ingredients or test a collection of medicines and see whether they could be improved. It's really up to you and what you find interesting." Severus explained but Harry didn't really find that any more helpful and roughly forked some potato in frustration.

"I don't know if I'm cut out for this. I mean, I'm nothing compared to your abilities."

"Harry," Severus sighed and the teen looked up, "I only have this knowledge because I've had a lot more experience than you. The age difference should have been your first give away, followed closely by the fact that I am a teacher. Do not be discouraged, I know you'll do fine. Besides, the grades you achieved at Durmstrang are nothing to scoff at, it is well known that Durmstrang boys' level of education is that little bit higher than Hogwarts. You must have a knack for Potion's for you to have achieved top student."

Harry smiled at this, he hadn't realised the man would have seen his grades and to be praised like he just had meant a lot. His lover wasn't the best at giving compliments and especially those to do with Potions, so he felt like it meant a great deal. From then he was able to finish off his dinner and when they made their way into the living room for the remainder of the evening Harry started to browse through the Apprentice brochures.

It seemed relatively straight forward, he would still maintain his classes but because he wasn't taking a Potion's class per say he now had two slots that needed to be filled which seemed to be what he needed to fulfil his Apprentice requirements. He thought about it for a few minutes and it seemed simple, surely doing an Apprenticeship, it would test your knowledge and skills but this seemed far too easy, he wondered why no one did this sort of thing in their final year if this was all the work he had to do. Naturally, he thought this would be an easy ride and became quite excited, if he could go about his daily school life then do Potion's with Severus in the evenings then this year was going to be enjoyable for him.

Like everything however, there was a drawback and as he sunk into the sofa next to Severus he groaned at his misfortune. Of course there was something he had missed, only an idiot would believe what he had read was everything and he sat there next to his lover, an arm wrapped around his shoulders and shaking due to the laughter that was happening beside him.

"It's not funny." Harry said petulantly, huffing and crossing his arms over his chest.

"On the contrary, Harry. Didn't it seem like a thin work load? No, you won't just be putting together a thesis and doing your normal classes. An Apprenticeship with me means you will be taking the first and later on the second year Potion's classes for me in exchange for my knowledge and time spent going through your research."

"How do you know I can teach? I've only just begun listening in class. Hermione should be the one doing this, she would make an amazing Professor."

"Yes, but my dear Gryffindor fiend, _you_ are the one wanting an Apprenticeship, not, Miss. Granger. Unless of course you wish to re-take your last Potion's class this year?"

"No." Harry grumbled and leant into the warm embrace of his lover.


	22. Chapter 22

.

 **#TheCauldron:**

 **My apologies for not fulfilling your expectations. I will endeavour to keep you happy from here on out and weight my chapters appropriately.**

 **#bellaperry:**

 **I SORRY TO KEEP YOU WAITING! Hehe, busy schedule means I cannot update as frequently as I wish, so please accept my sincerest apology.**

 **#wkaren588:**

 **This makes me incredibly happy to hear. I am a secret Drarry as well, though it needs a hint of Severus [as well] to make it worth reading for me.**

* * *

That night, Harry chose to spend it in Severus's bed, he just couldn't bear to be away from him any longer than he had to as his fear of the man walking away gripped him tightly. He wasn't completely sure where this new attachment had come from, perhaps it was in the realisation that soon they were going back to Hogwarts and he wouldn't have the option of whether he could stay the night? He couldn't be sure.

He had been thinking about the whole teaching aspect with the first years and whilst he was hesitant he kept telling himself, _how bad could it be?_ He didn't want to ask Severus about it, he knew the man would say something to freak him out so he didn't bother broaching the subject until it was closer to the time. Now though, Harry was lounging about on the couch as Severus was upstairs packing his bags ready for heading back to Hogwarts. It had been agreed that Harry stay at Spinner's End for the remaining days and even though he was upset the man was leaving he knew that it wouldn't be too long until they would see each other, this time again as student and teacher.

"Harry?" Severus's voice rung down the stairs and he jumped to his feet, running up the stairs to find the man waiting for him.

"What's up?" He asked casually before sitting cross legged on the bed facing him, he rolled his eyes when Severus glanced up at the ceiling.

"My apologies, you always make it so easy," He chuckled and smiled before turning serious, "You will let Karsha cook your meals and you will at least eat three times a day, yes?"

"Of course." Harry replied exasperated and sagged his shoulders at the authoritative tone he was using.

"You've made a lot of progress with your eating habits and your body is filling out, please look after yourself."

"Severus, I will be fine."

"I hope so." He sighed and took a step forward so he could stand at the side of the bed where Harry was sitting.

He then leaned down, putting his hands on the bed before aiming for the teen's mouth and giving them a passionate kiss, his tongue probing puckered lips and plunging into the soft entrance. It took Harry mainly by surprise but he immediately responded by wrapping a hand around the back of Severus's neck to pull him closer and making it so the man fell on top of him, his intentions very clear but it seemed that his lover wasn't in the mood, something which he felt was off.

"Not right now, Harry. I need to be going." He said when he pulled away and looking down at the younger Wizard, the teen was pouting softly.

He smirked a little at this, Harry sure looked cute with pouted lips but he wasn't going to be fooled into giving the boy what he wanted, they were just going to have to wait. Over the last few days it seemed that every moment the boy wanted to plunge into the dark depths of Severus's sex drive but the whole experience was tuckering him out and finding it hard to keep up with demand. He knew that it was going to feel a long few days at school by himself with an empty bed and the decrepit staff for company.

"Please?" Harry said in a soft voice, his features softening to try and convince the man to go ahead with this.

"No," He replied firmly and helped Harry stand so they were in front of each other before wrapping his arms around his lover, "We can still talk, remember? If you need anything just summon my house elf. Do you think you'll go and visit your friends to clear the air before school resumes? I doubt you want to start the year off on a sour note."

"To be honest, Severus, they can do what they want. I don't need them anyway, I have you." Harry replied, pulling his head away so he could look at the older Wizard.

"I suggest you speak with them, Harry. It will be a lonely view from the top if you do not speak with them and you know that I won't be able to see to your ever whim whilst we are at school. Please go and see them, Harry." Severus's voice was soft as he leaned down and kissed the teen once more.

Harry sighed, they were supposed to be talking about _them_ , not this friends but alas he thought in a separate part of his brain that the man might be right, that he _should_ go and see them. He decided that perhaps he would venture out at some point, but for now he was going to enjoy the last bit of Severus's company before he left. Even if that meant simply sitting there and being in each other's company seeing as sex wasn't going to be an option.

It wasn't too much longer after this and Severus was standing in front of his floo, Harry thought he looked a little solemn if he was honest but he didn't say anything and chose to smile at the older Wizard as he took a large handful of the powder.

"Behave." Severus said as his parting words and Harry nodded before the green flames engulfed his black clad form and he was gone.

The ex-Gryffindor immediately felt the loss, the house seemed so big and empty without the man around and he walked a lap of the house trying to find something to do. He stopped outside the door to the man's study and pushed on the door, it opened without any effort and he stood in the door way just looking around. He had never had so much access to the house before and he felt as though there could be wards and the like to alert Severus that someone had just stepped into the room. Nothing happened obviously though and he felt free to take a look around, he hadn't ever really had a good look at the books and notes that were stacked in the shelves and lay about the place so he took to browsing the books up along the wall. They all seemed to be manuals for teachers and Potion's _how to:_ guides but apart from that it was a little disappointing.

Then the thought hit him and he ran his finger over a couple of texts, they were the teaching ones and he wondered if he would learn anything useful about what he might expect when taking on the first years at Potions. It was still a scary thought when he imagined himself standing in front of a group of people, his peers no less, and because they were younger than him he felt more worried about their reactions. No, scrap that, how were his friends going to react knowing that he was going to be doing a higher level than he was? _I don't know if I want to do this…_ He thought as he sat in Severus's desk chair and spun round in circles.

* * *

Severus stepped into his living area at Hogwarts and sighed, the gloomy place reminding him of how much he actually resented teaching at this school. _What am I kidding, I can't see myself doing anything else_ , he concluded as he moved towards the bedroom to unpack. It was just after this too that he heard the knock at his door and he cursed at it, wondering how on earth the Headmaster had managed to find out so quickly that he had returned. He muttered his annoyance at the situation and stalked towards the door, he was beginning to wonder if it was the oppressing atmosphere of the Dungeons, or even the school, that managed to put him in such a foul mood when he was only two minutes into his year long stay at the castle.

"Albus." He said curtly as he eyed the greying Wizard on his door step and stepped aside to let the man in.

"Severus, I trust you had a relaxing break." He commented, coming to stand just inside the door.

"It was satisfactory." He replied just as tersely and went to his lab in order to distract himself but to see what needed to be dusted.

"Wonderful, now because you are a few hours later than expected, the staff meeting will be held later this afternoon."

"I appreciate the courtesy of you coming all the way down here just to tell me this piece of information, Albus, but really he's not here. I'm sure you would have worked that out the moment I came through the floo." Severus said turning towards him and cross his arms over his chest.

The man watched as his employer huffed a little at the accusation but they both knew the reason for his visit, he was just irritated that his Potion's Professor was able to see him so clearly. Never the less, he waved a hand and his aura changed into a more positive one before going off on a tangent about house rivalries and activities they would be discussing at the meeting. In the end, Severus told the Headmaster to leave him in peace until the meeting and mentioned that he had something he wished to discuss but said it could wait. Of course Albus thought that it was going to be something to with his relationship with Harry, and whilst he wasn't completely wrong, he wanted to wait and speak with Minerva first before seeking out the man who could essentially put an end to it.

 _That man is going to be the death of me_ , he muttered under his breath when he was alone, it was also times like these where he realised drove him to drink more than he should. _It's only been half an hour and already I am feeling his lack of presence_ , he thought as he walked back into the lab. He knew it was soft but he did wonder what the teen was doing at this point in time, he hoped he was going to be alright and he had given his house else a strict order to ensure the Gryffindor ate well and looked after himself.

He spent the next few hours pottering about his quarters and his office, he didn't really want to venture back into the classroom at this point, the feeling of being watched over and unable to teach his students the best way he could was infuriating. It also brought back memories of that day when he and Harry were caught and the implications surrounding this event. He didn't want to think about this right now though, he was on a mission and wanted Harry to have the best year yet because he was going to be back at Hogwarts and spending a good chunk of their time together with his Apprenticeship. When he looked at Harry when he had said this, the teaching aspect had obviously thrown the teen but he had every confidence that the teen would be fine in this role and he was going to be there for him as well. He just needed to get the Gryffindor Head of House on his side and it would be much easier to convince the conniving Headmaster to agree with the terms.

"Oh, hello Severus." The familiar female voice greeted him warmly as he stepping into the staff room.

"Minerva." He replied and they took the two seats off to the side as they waited for everyone else to enter.

"I trust you had a pleasant summer break?" She asked, not really paying much attention and looking down at the notes in her lap.

"I did, and yourself."

"Nothing spectacular," She replied and at this she turned to smile a little at him, "And how is my Gryffindor doing?" She continued and Severus's eyes widened a fraction at her casual mention of Harry.

"I – He is well." He replied suddenly frowning but they were unable to continue their conversation as Albus entered the room and ordered everyone's attention.

When the meeting had finished, Severus stood and was about to leave when a hand stopped him. Turning to Minerva he raised a questioning eyebrow before she asked him for a private word and he was only happy to comply though his hesitance was noted as they stepped out of the staff room and through the corridors. Once they arrived in her office, she offered him a seat before taking one for herself beside him making him believe this was not school related what they were about to discuss.

"It is convenient that you wish to speak as I needed to communicate with you in relation to Mr. Potter – "

"Severus, shall we be serious about this, his name is Harry and school has not resumed yet." She interrupted and looked at him sternly.

"Well I assumed – "

"All is well. Speaking of which, Harry is well I presume? Albus may have mentioned in passing your whereabouts these holidays and I am merely curious."

 _Of course he did_ , Severus thought bitterly. He didn't quite understand what it had to do with her where he spent his break though he thought that perhaps the Headmaster was attempting to get his deputy on board with the fact he wasn't keen on having a student and teacher in a relationship. In that moment the Gryffindor Head of House's words echoed in his mind from when she had been told that he and Harry were in a relationship, out of everyone that had known, which wasn't many, it seemed that she was the only one who didn't seem to have an issue with it. _I want you to be happy_ , is what she had said, he concluded that that essentially extended to Harry's wellbeing as well. She knew the issues the teen had had growing up in London so perhaps seeing her Gryffindor student happy was enough for her not to interfere in their relationship.

"I moved him to my Spinners End residence where he has been nursed back to appropriate health. He no longer looks as though he will fade away or crumble into dust and his academic prowess is, in short, astounding especially for someone his age."

"Oh? How so?" She was intrigued and Severus got the feeling this would be easy.

"You have obviously seen his results from last year?" At her nod he continued, "His Potion's results in particular are, as you will have seen, above anything he can learn in the level seven NEWT content. So I wanted to inform you that he will be seeking you out when term resumes to consult about taking on an Apprenticeship with me." He waited after stopping to take in her reaction.

"This is wonderful, unexpected of course, but delightful. There is of course one concern I have at this moment and that is work load for the year. Are you sure that this would not interfere with his other classes?"

"Due to the – "

"Or furthermore Quidditch?" She interrupted again and this time Severus paused, his mouth half open as he stopped himself from speaking, he had forgotten about the teen's love of the sport and whilst he didn't like it himself he knew Harry was a diehard fan.

"He has said that he will manage the work load and his interest in this Apprenticeship is high. I will leave the rest up to Harry and yourself when the students arrive back, I fear that my involvement in this would have the Headmaster hesitant to allow this to occur."

"Ah," She smiled knowingly and he knew that his efforts had been uncovered, "So, I am your pawn in this am I? Well, I will speak with Harry when I see him and approach Albus, I know of his distaste for what you have between my Gryffindor but quite frankly if he didn't have someone like you to watch out for him as you do, I fear for what might have happened." Minerva commented, he voice was soft, unlike her usual harsh Scottish twang.

"I do not wish to dig my own grave, however, if we hadn't of… gotten ourselves into this particular situation then he wouldn't have spiralled quite as badly."

"On the contrary, Severus, his Uncle and Aunt broke him, there is no telling where he would have ended up if it not for you." She smiled at the end of this and Severus felt the tension in his shoulders disappear.

"I do not completely agree with where your," She cleared her throat, "relationship has taken shape, but as long as _both_ of you are happy I will not interfere in your doings."

"I appreciate the sentiment, thank you."

After this, they spoke about Head of House duties and other school related topics until Severus excused himself and went back to his quarters. The meetings had taken most of the day and now he was sitting on his couch, staring at the fire as an elf brought him dinner, he didn't feel much like spending the evening with the rest of the staff when there was only one he wanted to be there with him. He was curious, not having heard anything from Harry since he had left, to know what he was up to, hoping that he too would be sitting down to dinner right about now.

 _Caused any trouble yet?_

He had almost forgotten what it felt like to message through the bracelets, even more so when he was momentarily startled by the tingling sensation that followed a replied message. He smiled as he read the words, he could imagine the teen sitting there with a smug smile as he responded and it caused Severus to shake his head in amusement.

 _Have you had dinner?_

He hoped that a reply from Harry would be truthful, he didn't want to resort to interrogating his house elf to ensure the boy did what he was told but he was going to give Harry benefit of the doubt with this one.

 _Of course I have but it's not the same as sharing it with you. This house is pretty big for only one person._

Harry's admission took him by surprise but he tried to ignore the ache in his heart knowing that he was sitting there by himself with a house full of secrets and information for him to get his hands on. No, he trusted that the Gryffindor wouldn't get into his personal belongings, that he would continue to respect his space in his absence but he hoped that the teen didn't find himself a prisoner in the house and he certainly wasn't going to make him stay at his Godfather's inherited house.

 _What are you having for dinner?_

It was a ridiculously domestic question he asked in response but he didn't care. Everything that Harry did interested him and he was damned if he would let anyone tell him how soft he had become.

 _Nachos, believe it or not and I cooked. What are you having?_

Severus smiled, he definitely loved his Harry but he couldn't help but feel a little put out that he had never sampled the boys' cooking and made a mental note to ensure he remedied this when they were next at home.

 _I didn't know you could cook? What else are you hiding from me? I'm having pork roast._

Their conversation continued for another hour or so before Harry said he was going to bed, Severus too felt that he should be getting an early night and that there was a lot of paper work he needed to consider before the students arrived in a couple of days. He bid his goodnight thoughts to his younger lover and then ventured into the bedroom, it was large and cold without someone to share it with but then he realised how stupid he was sounding, _better get used to it quickly_. There was no way he would have the Gryffindor down here with him every night when he came back and that was where the problem lay, even though he was a grown man he just didn't want to get used to not sharing a bed. _Getting soft, Severus_ , he berated himself and after getting under the covers he rolled his eyes, huffing before turning onto his side and attempting to find solace in his dreams.

* * *

The following morning found Harry waking up in an empty bed with the light streaming through the windows as he hadn't closed the curtains that night. He rolled onto his side and lay a hand on Severus's pillow in remembrance of their nights together, sighing as he looked over at the window to find it a sunny day. He thought that perhaps he should do something constructive with his day and decided he would get out of the house, Diagon Alley came to mind and he chose to head in there for the day. It wasn't as though he could think of anything better to do and the house was gloomy without someone to share it with.

Once he had a shower he went into his old room and looked through his trunk for something to wear, when in there he came across the piece of folded parchment that he had found in the attic back at his inherited house and frowned. It was quite humorous when it had insulted Severus but it had him wondering what on earth someone would want with something such as this. _Perhaps the Weasley twins could help me out?_ He thought and nodded to himself as he put it on the bed in favour of getting dressed.

Fred and George, after their time at Hogwarts, had used their knowledge and humour to recreate a new kind of terror for the teachers of Wizarding Institutions in the form of a Wizarding joke shop. It was immediately a success and so far Harry hadn't had the pleasure of using or being used in one of their pranks, it was them that he thought would be able to help him out. It was worth a shot anyway.

After some breakfast and more reading about his Apprenticeship, Harry floo'd to Diagon Alley and made his way directly over to the bank, he took on the notion that whilst he was here he would get some shopping done, and by shopping he meant clothes shopping. He needed to grab a couple of things for the year, whilst he was slowly mending, and yes he was aware that that was what Severus was helping him do, and he wanted to have a fresh start. That included trying to tame his styled hair after neglecting it for so long but it wasn't as if he looked a mess, he still thought it suited him but it was starting to irritate him with the length over his eyes.

When he was done at Gringott's he spied the Weasely's store and made his way over, it seemed to be bustling with people and he considered coming back later only to bump straight into the rest of the Weasley family as they walked the same direction.

"Hey Harry." Ginny said cutting through the flock of red heads and giving him a giant hug.

"Ginny, hi." He said stiffly but her broad smile made him feel okay about this impromptu meeting.

"Hello dear, oh you _are_ looking well." Molly said coming up to him next and Giny made room so she could hug him.

"Mrs. Weasley, it's good to see you." He replied politely and this time he smiled as she looked him over, trying to see if there was something wrong she could point out and fuss over, fortunately though there wasn't.

"What are you doing here? Getting your school supplies?" Ginny asked as they continued to walk.

"Uh, no. I have something that I found and am needing help from the twins actually." He said and motioned to the piece of parchment he was holding.

"It looks just like paper. What does it do?" She asked but Harry shrugged, the only thing he knew about it was that it insulted his lover and even Ginny hadn't been let in on that little secret of his about the two of them.

"I'm not sure exactly, that's why I'm here, I can feel the magic inside it but can't define what it is." He explained and Ginny cocked her head to the side in thought when a familiar stubborn voice broke through the crowd.

"Feel the magic? That's stupid." Ron steamed and Harry saw him through the other members of the family that were there but neither of them said anything to each other until they were inside the joke shop and he found himself pulled to the side.

"What are you doing?" Harry hissed, not happy at being handled in such a brutal manner.

"Sorry, didn't mean to hurt you." He replied sheepishly but there was clearly an ulterior agenda to their meeting.

"How are you?" The brunette tried, he didn't really know how things were going to be since their owl exchange but Ron hadn't exactly noted any disgust or angst towards it.

"I'm good, Harry and I see you are too." The red head looked at him awkwardly and smiled a little.

"Look, I need you to understand why – "

"No, stop. I don't need to know anymore mate. I can see now why you moved in with him and okay, I don't like him at all and I don't understand completely why you're doing what you're doing but I've just decided that I'm going to trust you. Mark my word though mate, if he starts getting all funny with me I'm going to lose it." Ron said in hushed tones to ensure they weren't overheard.

Harry stood there a little surprised by his friends words. Of course he took it with a grain of salt because he had tried to explain to them a bunch of times why and how everything went and felt but they didn't get it, ending in an argument after a while. However, at this stage he smiled and nodded which Ron returned and they stood awkwardly for a moment before Harry smirked at his friend conspiringly.

"How could he do anything funny? He's not even your Professor for anything and his sense of humor is most certainly an acquired taste."

"Acquired taste? Harry, that's… no." Ron made a face at this and Harry couldn't help but laugh at him.

"Sorry." He then muttered and they smiled knowingly at each other.

"So what are you really doing here, Harry? What's this piece of parchment you need Fred and George to look at?" Rona sked curiously as they moved about trying to find the twin red heads.

"Come with me and you'll see." He replied as Harry spotted them and they made their way over.

Well, well, look who we have here." George chuckled as they came closer.

"Hmm, George, I reckon they want something."

"Reckon so, Fred."

"It's good to see you as well." Harry laughed as he had two arms come to rest over his shoulders from the twins.

"So how can – "

" – we help you today?" They asked and Harry asked them for a private moment in their office.

"You realise this is a joke shop – "

" – office meetings are serious things." They chorused but they weren't being serious, when were they ever?

"Well, I have this here. I don't really know what it is only that when Se – Uh, when I tried to reveal whatever it was, it insulted me." The slip up only seemed to be noticed by Ron who looked at him for a brief second before watching what his older brothers were doing.

They all then watched when Fred picked the parchment up and started examining it, he too admitted he could feel strong magic within it before he lifted his wand and cast a revealing charm. He immediately started laughing but then died off as he looked slowly over at his brother who shared his expression. They immediately turned to Harry and in unison asked where he had found it.

"Whoa, okay I found it in an attic." He replied taking a step back, only to walk into the front of Ron.

"Who's attic?" They asked again and he shrugged saying Sirius's family home that was now essentially his.

"Padfoot." The twins breathed and looked over the parchment before smirking.

"Harry Potter. You are the living relative of a legend my friend." George came up to him and patted him on the back.

"Padfoot? That's Sirius right? And what do you mean a legend?" Harry asked confused and the twins bore grins that spread across their faces.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Fred recited as he held his wand above the parchment and the brunette frowned trying to crane his neck to see what was going on when Ron gasped.

"Is that – "

"Hogawarts." Said George.

" – And is that – "

"Dumbledore, in his study." Finished Fred.

"This is a map of Hogwarts?" Harry asked confused and the twins pulled him closer.

"Not just the castle it self – "

" – people." They sung and when Harry looked at the moving banners he could clearly identify names as well as footsteps as they walked, he was absolutely blown away as he scoured over it.

"Wicked." Ron whispered and Harry nodded.

"Legend has it that _your_ father as well as Sirius, Remus and another boy who was nicknamed Wormtail," Fred paused as they turned over the front of the map, "Created this when they were at school. Pranksters and jokers like us have been trying to find this for years."

"Imagine how much fun we could have had with this." George commented wistfully before turning back to the map.

"Man, Dumbledore paces a lot." Ron said humorously but then Harry saw Severus's name as he walked closer to the man's office and his heart started to beat a little faster at the sight of the letters making up his name.

"You would too, there's Snape." George said in a mocking tone as he pointed and Harry had to stop himself from scowling at it, Ron got it though and he turned his head a little to the side which he was in his peripheral vision.

"Ah, is it like that, Harry. Bet you'd love to catch _him_ in the act of something." Fred winked and Harry felt his face flush.

"Asshole has it in for him, I'm telling you." Ron butted in and if the brunette was grateful for anything it was that his friend had back in this moment.

"Well now, Harry, our dearest and youngest friend. How can we interest you in some treats for the dear old Potion's Bat?" George said, sidling up to him and wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"Uh, no thanks. But is there anything you can tell me about this map? You said my father helped create it, the Marauders correct?" Harry asked as he remembered back to Severus mentioning the Marauders and his father in the same sentence.

He knew that his father had been a bit of a joker so this only made sense but to actually hold something now that was technically partly his felt memorable. Somehow, this made him feel closer to his parents in a way as well as Remus but because he really didn't know Sirius there was no loss there.

"Correct. They used to get up to all _sorts_ of things with this. George, we would never have been caught." It was Fred's turn to get wistful and he shrugged before looking between the younger Gryffindor's.

"I trust that the two of you will use this map to your mutual advantage. Now, to make it disappear, because obviously if you're not careful you're going to get caught, just say _, Mischief Managed_ , otherwise anyone can read it." George explained and the two teen's nodded.

After this Harry and Ron walked about the shop, Ron saw some cool items but didn't end up getting anything and before long it was well after lunch, Harry's stomach growling loudly. Whilst he was happy that he had Ron were on friendly terms, he really wanted to take himself back to Severus's and curl up in their bed looking over the man. Now that he knew how to use it he wanted to try it out, perhaps mess with his lover's head a little by knowing exactly where he was. A small smirk appeared on his face then and he said his good byes to the Weasley family.

"I'll see you at King's Cross then." Ron said after a brief hug and Harry nodded, then turned towards the Leaky Cauldron to floo home.

* * *

Staying up until the early hours of the following morning, Harry woke feeling groggy and his stomach churned, his wand and the map lay next to him on Severus's side of the bed. Stretching he rolled over and peered at the map, as per usual Severus wasn't in his drawn chambers on the map and was outside walking through the grounds. It appeared he was heading towards the forest and he knew exactly why, to get ingredients, it was either that of to just have a walk but he doubted it at this stage in the day. He grew a wry smile on his face as he thought something completely stupid, but he knew it would mess with his Professor's head, so he couldn't resist and wrapped a hand around his wrist.

 _Having a nice stroll?_

He couldn't help but grin at his actions, there would be a very real risk that he could give the man a heart attack, but as he lay there, eyes trained on the map he saw the two footprints stop for a moment and swivel round on the spot a couple of times. At this Harry burst into hysterics, he could just imagine the look on his face at this moment trying to work it out, the way his brows knitted together, and if he were annoyed his nostril would flare. Finally though, after a full minute of Harry laughing and not breathing, he received a reply.

 _And how would you know what I would be doing my dear, Harry? As it happens I am brewing._

The reply made Harry stop laughing and look on in confusion, he could clearly see the little footsteps and his name on the parchment. _Perhaps the parchment is wrong?_ He thought but then discarded that thought, _why would the map lie?_ He decided to try again and play straight through the man's lies.

 _I didn't know you could brew potion's in the Forbidden Forest?_

He smiled at this, he was going to have the man sweating, thinking that he had followed him into the school and was curently there with him. Then again, he _did_ know Severus so the unbidden realisation that this could turn to custard made him stop and think for another second.

 _Show yourself._

Harry breathed a sigh of relief, it was clear that he thought he'd followed him to the castle. Now was the hard part, to convince the man that he wasn't actually there and could see him on the map, a task most likely difficult considering they were communicating through bracelets.

 _I'm not there, Severus. I can see you on a map._

Harry watched as the feet didn't move and his heart raced at the prospect of his lover losing his marbles over this. He wasn't completely convinced Severus would believe this.

 _Map? There's no such thing. You have me curious._

At this he relaxed a little, it was obvious his lover wasn't angry with him, just a confused and he could relate to this. He wondered what he would do in Severus's shoes if this were the other way around and he knew that he would have adrenaline rushing through him trying to work it out.

 _That parchment that I found in Sirius's attic, it was a secret map of Hogwarts. I can see everyone that's there right now._

He wondered it the man would buy it, but even if he didn't he knew it was the truth and this was what kept him sane at this point. However, before he could let the man answer he quickly added another part.

 _I took it to some experts today, it was the one my father and his friends created._

Harry then saw the foot steps continue further into the forest and he let out a breath, it was clear the man bought the explanation and with that in mind he decided to take a shower and continue the conversation in there. He hadn't heard anything for a good few minutes as he showered and his wandering thoughts led to memories of their forest activities, memories that made him hard and horny. He hadn't had a wank in the shower for a long time so seeing as he was by himself and there was no one to help him out he took hold of himself just as Severus messaged him back, giving him a fright.

 _Sounds like something he would do. What are you doing apart from invading my distant privacy?_

It was so Severus to be sarcastic when he didn't approve of something but instead of making him go down, it made him harder in the knowledge that his lover was irritated. He loved the sex and sparks it created when the older Wizard was pounding into him hard, these thoughts spurred him on and he grunted as he put a hand on the shower wall to steady himself. In between this and his thoughts, he was however, able to send a message back to the man and when he did he was completely honest with him.

 _In the shower with a hand around my erection._

He felt direct was best and he sniggered as he continued to stroke himself, there was something weird and somehow exciting about this and he closed his eyes briefly before opening again to see the message.

 _In my bathroom too? My, my, Harry what has gotten into you?_

Harry moaned, thrusting his hips forward into the hand that gripped onto the rigid member tightly.

 _Too bad you're not here, I guess you could have helped me out._

Harry smirked at his boldness, but it was true, if Severus was there they could have some fun. It too seemed that the man agreed with this fact as well and as he strolled through the forest looking for some ingredients for his stores he smiled naughtily at the idea of his Harry pleasuring himself in his bathroom. He decided to humor the teen as he went about these actions, even though he was out in the wilderness that didn't mean his imagination lacked when he visualised what position the teen would be in currently.

 _A shame indeed, I would most certainly have you backed into the cool tiles if I were in fact with you._

After he sent this, Severus stopped in his tracks taking a second to look at his surroundings, it would have been so easy to engage in similar activities but he sneered at his sudden randy thoughts. He was a grown man for Merlin's sake, he wasn't some honry teenager who felt like they could get away with anything so his alarming thoughts about getting himself off in the forst was immediately striked off. _Get a grip, Severus_ , he berated to himself and glanced down at his wrist when a message came back.

Harry was close, he was thinking back to the number of times they had had encounters or sexual intercourse whilst in the bathroom, there were a number to choose from so he felt bombarded with memories to fill his appetite. After a few more loaded messages between them he came apart and panted out his release as he sagged against the shower wall, he felt bad for Severus having to be so far away. If he was honest, had the situation been different and he was with the man in the forest he could see them engaging amongst the folioge. _It certainly was fun the other week_ , he remembered in his foggy mind when he had sucked his lover off in the forest down the road.

 _I'm glad to have been of service, my dear, Harry but please do not let me stop you going about your day from here on out._

Harry smiled at the message, it was clear his Professor was sulking but it wasn't his fault, Severus had agreed to go back to Hogwarts at the Headmaster's whim so it was his loss that they couldn't have been together right now. In the reply back, he told the man this but it didn't seem to put a dampner on their conversations and soon they were on the topic of Apprenticeships and epectations for the new school year.


	23. Chapter 23

.

Standing awkwardly on the threshold of the floo to the Burrow, Harry took one last glance at Severus's house. He was a little nervous about going back to school, he didn't really know what was going to await him when he stepped off the train in Hogsmede but he prayed nothing negative would happen. He glanced down at the bracelet, Severus had been quiet today, he hadn't even had a good morning message and the thought was mildly disappointing even though he knew the man would be busy during the day with the final touches and staff meetings that were bound to happen before the students arrived.

The map that was tucked safely in his pocket almost pulsating with curiosity, he wanted to know where his Professor was and what he was doing just so he could know that when he arrived at the school he would be there too. He knew it was stupid but not seeing the man for a few days after they had spent a great deal of time together over the Summer break from _not_ seeing him for half of the year prior stung. He couldn't help himself and caved, reaching into his pocket to take the map out. _I solemnly swear that I am up to know good_ , he recited and watched as the walls and people walking about the castle appeared, his heart lurching and a smile widening across his face when he saw Severus's name in the space where his private chambers resided.

 _What's the matter, Harry? Why are you worried?_

The message took him by surprised but he held himself before sending a prompt reply back that he could see him and that was what he had been worried about. Severus still hadn't gotten used to the fact that his younger lover was able to see where he was, Harry mused that the man probably thought he was looking at a moving picture of him rather than a bland map with ink that mapped out the castle and occupants. He was a little worried about showing Severus when they next saw each other but he had no doubt that in the future it would become very handy if he ever needed to find his Professor.

 _Are you with the Weasley's yet?_

At Severus's blunt reminder of where he was meant to be he sighed and confessed that he hadn't left yet, whilst he received a telling off in reply he shrugged it off. It wasn't as though the man could do anything from Hogwarts so he took his time.

 _Let me know when you arrive, I will see you at school_.

And just like that Harry knew he wasn't going to have further conversation with his lover. After this, he stepped through the floo, Ginny was there to greet him and he gave her a brief hug before seeking Ron out for a quick chat. Even though they had only seen each other a few days prior, it was good to properly catch up and they spoke about how warm Hermione's reception would be when they met her as per usual at Kings Cross.

"Mate, it will be fine. I'm sure she's had plenty of time to… you know, fester… about it." Ron trailed off and shrugged, it was clear that they were both thinking the same and whilst it was a little sobering for the brunette he wasn't going to let it get him down.

"If she wants to be immature, she can be." Harry's short reply was and Ron hesitated before agreeing.

Soon enough it was time to go, the Weasley brood, plus Harry, hustled their way towards the train station. Harry was about to step through the barrier between platform nine and ten when Molly pulled him aside and he looked at her curiously, double checking to see if Ron or Ginny had seen it to find they had already walked through.

"Now, Harry, if you wish to stay over the holidays, you are more than welcome to if you feel that Grimmauld Place is a little overbearing." She said softly to him and his features softened at the care she was offering.

"Thank you, I'll keep it in mind." He replied respectfully before waving her off and ducking through the barrier.

"What took you so long, I thought you were right behind me?" Ron said looking him over concerned.

"Your mother just offered me to stay over the holidays, come on." Harry replied, pushing importantly through some of the younger years so they could reach the train.

It was always a race each year to snag one of the few private cabins, he didn't really want others to speak to him, and he didn't really think he was ready to fall straight into old routines and habits straight away. They were lucky on this day and quickly shut the door before making themselves at home, Ron pulling out a Quidditch magazine and Harry pulling one of Severus's Potion's books out of his bag. His red headed friend looked at him suspiciously when they sat opposite each other but he shrugged him off before getting stuck into the page he had stopped on the previous night but was brought back to the present when Ron started speaking.

"So speaking of Quidditch…" He trailed off, holding up a photo of the latest school age Witch to make international headlines.

"We'll see." Harry's voice was passive and he passed it off as unimportant, when in reality, he was hoping that he could take on his old spot again.

"We need you and really badly, Harry. It was embarrassing having to lose to Slytherin in both Quidditch and house points." He sulked and Harry shook his head dismissively.

"I'll think about it." Harry finalised and went back to his book when someone opened the door then slammed it loudly making both boys flinch.

"So, Harry, I see you couldn't just – " Hermione stopped as he plonked herself down next to Ron, her eyes pouring over Harry's body and looking very surprised.

"Hello." Harry said, filling the gap and Hermione's gaze snapped up to his eyes.

"You look…" She almost seemed lost for words and Harry tried to block out the fact that Ron was switching between them looking slightly worried, he only wanted to train his eyes on their bushy haired friend so that she knew he was paying her his full attention.

"How about, 'it's good to see you both?'" Ron tried, failing to decrease the tension that was growing.

"Harry, you look a lot healthier than when I last saw you." She sighed in defeat and switched seats so she was sitting beside the brunette.

"Hence the reason for moving." Harry replied stiffly, referring to living with Severus for the remainder of the summer.

There was a long silence that stretched over the three of them, Hermione not really knowing what to say only thinking that she had been wrong in her decision to be angry with her friend for running off with their Professor. She had to admit though, every time Harry and their Potion's Professor lived together, it seemed to benefit him greatly and she was beginning to wonder why she was always so wary of the situation. She knew what they were doing was technically wrong, that they were breaking not only school rules but Ministry rules as well but when she saw the more youthful and happier expression that made green eyes glow, she had to admit that maybe they were good for each other. In the end, she sighed and put her hand on top of his, looking at him with an apologetic expression.

"Then I'm sorry for what I said to you. I truly believed that you were doing this because you wanted to, not because you actually needed to. I still don't approve, but he only keeps showing me that what he is doing helps you." She said finally and Harry nodded as Ron slouched down into the coach seat.

"Thank, Merlin for that, now are you going to tell us how _your_ holidays were?" Ron asked in half exasperation, half humor making Hermione smile and Harry take a deep relaxing breath in.

Their conversation took them most of the way to Hogwarts until they fell into a comfortable silence, Harry got his book out again and started reading a chapter on the key aspects of creating new Potion's, it was relatively interesting and he thought to his Apprenticeship, wondering when he would go and speak to his Head of House about it.

"That's an interesting book." Hermione pointed out after a while, she was still sitting next to him and he could see her every now and then peer over at the pages he was reading through.

"Severus let me borrow it," He said straight away, then looked at both his friends, apologising before adding, "Professor Snape."

He was going to need to keep his wits about him with calling Severus by his Professor label, he would expose them both if he wasn't careful and this was the second time in a few days it had slipped out. His friends didn't really seem to mind but he felt weird saying it in front of them, so he made a point to remind himseif that he was going back to school and that Severus was first and foremost his teacher.

The rest of the train ride was uneventful, apart from a handful of people that came to speak with them, it was rather quiet. Once they stopped off at the station, Harry glanced down at his wrist before messaging to tell Severus they had arrived. His stomach was filling with butterflies as he watched the first years filing out in their blank uniforms, it was a gut wrenching feeling that he had when he thought about the fact he too would be donning his uniform for one last year. He wasn't sure why, but he wasn't looking forward to dressing up in Gryffindor robes, though it wasn't like he had a choice and soon enough he was following the other seventh years towards the carriages that would carry them up to the castle.

Harry took a moment to himself as he watched the castle getting closer, his nerves growing and anticipation of what would happen over the next few hours, who would approach him, would questions be asked? He found himself growing restless at this and he had to take a large breath to control himself, compose his emotions and discipline his mind like he had been taught through Occlumency. For the moment it seemed to help but he couldn't get over a sense of foreboding as they walked the stairs towards the entrance way. Something felt off.

* * *

Severus sat patiently, waiting for the students to make their way into the hall for their start of year feast. He had heard from Harry beforehand and from then on his eyes were trained on the large doors into the Great Hall as he attempted and hopefully succeeded in composing himself to everyone who was present. There was a new member of staff this year taking over the Defence class and he was currently sitting a seat over from Severus, Flitwick squashed between them and he glanced over at the bulky man, sneering ever so slightly at magic coming off him. _Mad-Eye Moody_ , they called him because he lost an eye from a raid when he was working for the Ministry of Magic as an Auror, he is, quite simply put _insane_ , and Severus wondered what had prompted the Headmaster to hire someone of his calibre, mainly because he had dabbled so fiercely in Dark magic, it was a wonder he hadn't corrupted his soul from it.

Looking back to the main doors, he sighed and ran his finger along some shallow scratches that had been placed on the arm of the chair, even though it had been only a few days there was a lot he and Harry needed to catch up on. A few days that seemed like torture when he had to crawl into his empty bed at night, he had tried to be a man about this and stop badgering on in his head like a love sick female but truth was he couldn't and on this morning he had accepted his fate with the ravenous green eyed teen that he just caught in his line of sight.

He hadn't really known what to except, that perhaps he had gone on a rampage and destroyed his house and most likely himself with cuts and scratches but the Gryffindor seemed fine, he seemed healthy and was currently smiling acutely at something his red headed pig of a friend had said as they pointed at the Slytherin's. He wanted to catch his eye, give him the nod that he was happy to see him but it seemed that the boy was too wrapped up in whatever it was that he didn't glance over to him once. Instead, the Gryffindor Head of House who was sitting at Severus's right leaned over and spoke quietly to him.

"Harry looks much better than last I saw." Then there was the knowing look and smile before they turned their attention towards the students filing in.

He wanted to reply, say something along the lines of _if it weren't for me…_ But he didn't want to put himself on a pedestal such as that, instead he kept quiet and narrowed his eyes at the newest members of the Wizarding community, the first years. He dreaded them most among all others with their wistful expressions and excitement that clouded the judgment of the best of them, well all those except a select few, mainly from Slytherin who knew what to expect from generations of their families attending the school.

Then finally, after what seemed to be too long for his liking, Harry caught his eye, he looked worried and troubled, there was something on his mind and he frowned minutely as his eyes raked over the Gryffindor uniform and tired face. Sure he looked healthier but he looked tired, as if he hadn't slept a wink the night previous and that was something that worried Severus himself. He decided to ask, there was no harm in reaching out to the teen before the proceedings started for the evening, so placing his hand covertly atop his silver bangle he sent the boy a message in the hopes he would tell him what was wrong. Of course Severus knew there was a time and a place, as long as Harry acknowledged the fact he had received it, he could live with that for now.

Harry sighed and looked back up at his lover and Professor, he wasn't troubled as Severus had put it, more like tired and overwhelmed. He was back in his old stomping ground, back with old friends and rivals, new teachers and familiar settings, thinking that he would be able to slip back into normal motions at the start of year feast had been a simply a dream because he sat there now feeling wary of everyone he came in contact with. He knew it was stupid but he had to suck it up and act like he didn't hide one of the biggest secrets at the school, it was of course easier said than done but he hoped that he would be able to fool everyone. Obviously he wasn't able to as Severus could see straight through it and he covered his bangle to reply a half-hearted message.

Severus certainly wasn't too happy with the reply, _I'm fine just tired is all_ , he exhaled a long breath and leaned back in the high backed chair up at the head table as he looked out across the hall. He would leave it for now, if the teen really needed him then he would expect him one night this week, other than that he was going to have to fend for himself now they were back at school.

Harry turned to face the table, he leaned on it with his elbows and rested his chin upon his hands as he stared down at the empty plate in front of him. Hermione waved her hand in front of his face as she sat in front of him but he shook his head, not wanting to go into specifics and it was just as well because the Headmaster stood and announced the welcoming to the start of year. Harry half listened, half thought about how he was going to approach his Head of House about the apprenticeship opportunities but when Dumbledore mentioned a new Defence teacher he turned his head to find a new face sitting next to their small Charms Professor.

" – They reckon he's as mad as a hatter these days." Harry only caught half of what Ron had said as he eyed the man who looked like he'd seen a few fights in his time.

"Who is he?" Harry whispered to Ron who was sitting beside him but closer to the front.

"Mad-Eye Moody, he's – "

"Professor Moody, Ron. Honestly, do you have no respect for our teachers?" Hermione scolded but Harry didn't really care, he was more interested in finding out more about their new Defence teacher.

"He's an Auror, locked away heaps of people in Azkaban," Ron started but then leaned closer as he whispered the rest, "Rumor has it he's the one who locked up Sirius."

Harry swallowed a lump, _so this man put away my Godfather, I wonder what really happened to him_ , he thought as he narrowed his eyes on the man. He was bulky and mean looking, the glass eye he sported darted around the room and whilst it freaked him out a little he tried not to let it get to him. This man looked as though he had had experience and lots of it, so for him to be their Defence Professor he was certainly looking forward to seeing what they would be learning. No doubt Occlumency would be interesting with him, and he hoped that unlike in previous years, this man didn't go insane with his teaching methods.

" – Let's get the sorting under way, Professor McGonagall? If you would." Harry watched as the Headmaster passed the control over to their Head of House and the sorting ceremony began.

The rest of the feast was a blur as Harry went through the motions of seeing friends again that he hadn't seen in a while and soon enough he was trudging up the many stairs to the Gryffindor common room. The first years were coming through a few minutes later and Harry decided to take himself off to bed, he wanted to get up early and go for a run before everyone was up and before class started. So waving Hermione and Ron off he made his way upstairs and tucked himself into bed.

"I'm concerned." Hermione huffed and turned to Ron as well as catching Ginny's attention.

"'Mione, he's fine. Just give him a few days to settle in." Ron soothed and then looked up to see Seamus and Dean starting up a game of chess, he couldn't resist and stood up, "Look, if you're really concerned by the end of tomorrow then talk to him, otherwise just let him be." He continued and then walked off.

"Harry looks good, doesn't he? Perhaps being by himself worked out?" Ginny asked as she followed Hermione's gaze up the stairs.

"You know, Ginny, I wish I could believe that but I don't. He wasn't by himself over the break, he was being looked after and I – "

"Oh? By who? I thought he was staying and Grimmauld by himself?" Hermione froze, she immediately realised her mistake and looked at Ginny solemnly thinking of something vague to say before standing to make a hasty exit.

* * *

Severus woke the next morning to the sound of his portrait yelling through the door at him, he didn't want to have woken so early in the morning, it wasn't even his usual time and he grumbled before wrenching the door open. He huffed at his portrait but was quickly directed to the door as he heard light scratching coming from the other side, he knew what, well rather who it was and reaching round the back of his bedroom door donned a black gown to wrap around his bare torso.

Pushing the door open ajar he saw grey fur creeping past him and he smiled gently, shutting the door and going straight back to his bedroom where he hoped Harry would follow him. He was happy to note that he was in fact followed and as he climbed into bed _Jade_ transformed into Harry, following suit and slipping under the covers.

Immediately, Harry lunged at him, placing kisses along his jaw and neck, making his way towards his lips. Hands were roaming his naked torso and ran up to comb through his hair before he felt the slender body mount him and push his own body further into the bed. These actions took him mildly by surprise but he wasn't about to stop them, they both needed this as much as they both knew they shouldn't be doing it, however it was early in the morning, early enough for there not to be any interruptions and for easy getaways. Severus felt his blood quickening through his veins when a hardness was pushed into his flaccid cock, but with this contact it didn't stay like that for long and soon enough he was responding in slow grinding of hips.

He was so happy to have this weight, not that it was crushing, on top of him. He was reminded of the holidays and the time they were able to spend together so he wasted no time in stripping his Gryffindor of what little clothing he had and flipping them over so he was the one in control. He nipped the youthful neck as he heard Harry's grunt of surprise and curled his fingers around the globes of the teen's backside, spreading them apart and pulling their bodies close. His finger ghosted over the puckered hole and he dared to think they would have time to indulge in a quick reunion but thought better of it when he remembered it was the first day of the school term.

Instead, he flopped himself half off Harry, leaning on the bed so he could gain access to their members that looked as though they needed some attention. His younger lover made a gasping sound, nuzzling his nose in the crook of Severus's neck, as his expert fingers wrapped around his length and played with the tip. Harry mewled in response before doing the same, the feeling of velvet aroused skin made his own blood pump faster through his body and his heart started fluttering when he realised he'd missed this over the last few days.

Harry felt his orgasm approaching within no time and he tensed his muscles, his pumps on Severus's cock stopping and he gripped onto the sheets below him, his eyes squeezing shut when it finally ruptured. The evidence of his release lay cooling on his stomach as he felt the bed continue to move but he felt like a dead weight as he found lips on his as the man kissed him through his own completion. Of course the Gryffindor always felt guilty when he climaxed first, he never really did anything after the pleasure was felt from his head to his toes but Severus never said anything about it and continued on until he found his own release.

"Sinful, as always my little minx," Severus purred, nuzzling into Harry's neck and taking a deep breath of his unique scent, "Not to mention naughty."

"Thought you might have missed me." Harry sighed, his head relaxing into the pillow beneath his head.

"Hmm, I did however the weekend would have been just as satisfying. What brings you here this morning, very early I might add." Severus whispered, moving so he could look over to his clock.

"I was heading out for a run, thought I might come and see you on the way." The Gryffindor replied, moving so he could cuddle into his Professor's side, his energy collecting slightly.

"Dangerous, but thank you. What has prompted this sudden exercise may I ask?"

"Quidditch. If they have me back I need to be at the top of my game." At this Harry sat up with the intention of getting up and as he did he saw the look on his lovers face making him halt his movements, frowning slightly, "What's wrong?"

Severus sat up as well this time and looked at the younger Wizard with a solemn expression, how was he supposed to tell him he wouldn't be able to do Quidditch as well as his apprenticeship? Did he tell him now or wait for the Gryffindor Head of House to tell him to break the news. It would be best to tell him now, that way there wouldn't be any casuse for doubt between them, he knew it wasn't going to be pleasant.

"Severus?"

"You cannot do an apprenticeship and play Quidditch." The man winced when he saw the pained expression of his younger lovers face and he immediately felt terrible.

"What do you mean? Of course I will be able to, I mean it's not – "

"Please listen to me, Professor McGonagall will say the same and – "

"You just don't want me to do it do you? Quidditch, I mean. Just because _you_ don't like the sport." Harry huffed and turned away to pull on his shorts and tee.

"Merlin, Harry, there's no need to go off on a huff about it." However, Severus's words fell on deaf ears as Harry stalked from the room, slamming the portrait door in the process as he left the man's quarters.

As the teen ran the corridors as a warm up he felt as a coil would as it was winding up, his orgasm forgotten about as the frustration of his Professor's words echoed around his head. Glancing down at his wrist there was a plead from Severus for him to come back but he was too wound up and with the anger coursing through him and he powered off towards the main doors.

Running down towards the Black Lake he thought about the situation, of course he would be able to fit Quidditch in, he would be doing one less class than everyone else and spending some time in the afternoons with his Potion's Professor as they worked through his apprenticeship no doubt. He was going to be able to right? He growled, just when he thought everything would be alright it ended up turning to custard and he sped up as he reached the lake, taking a turn towards the forest so he could lose himself for a few moments before class started.

When he made it back to the castle, he didn't stop until he was turning the taps on for his shower, because of his early start people were only starting to rise now so he knew he would be able to slip into the Great Hall pretty well anonymously before heading to his first class. That was of course if the seventh years didn't have Potion's first, he didn't know what he would do if Hermione did and he told her he wasn't going to be in class with her. A shiver ran down his spine, if anyone was going to have an issue with him taking an extra step higher than the rest, it was going to be her.

Once he had finished his shower, clothed and headed down to the common room he spotted the girls as they made their way to breakfast so he tagged along with them when he saw Ron running up behind him. Making small talk they were in the hall in no time and that's when Harry felt the butterflies in his stomach, the anger from earlier gone and he felt foolish for his anger towards his older lover. The man was still at breakfast, it was nearly the only day where the late risers would see their Potion's Professor at breakfast so that he could hand out the Slytherin timetables, much like their Transfiguration Professor was at this stage and she walked up to them, handing out pieces of parchment. However when she got to Harry, she spoke directly to him.

"Mr. Potter, I have a free moment after class today should you wish to speak." She said and Harry nodded his agreement before she spotted some other students and walked off.

"What does she need to see you about?" Hermione inquired, though he wasn't surprised.

"Just some of my classes for this year, I'll know more once I've seen her." It wasn't completely a lie, but it wasn't completely the truth, however she nodded and they were able to move on without incident.

When everyone was scouring over their timetables, Harry took the moment to glance up at the black sillouhette movin up and down the Slytherin table. He felt terrible, the first day back and he _knew_ the last thing Severus wanted was to have a fight, he didn't need that kind of stress on the first day, especially when he heard Ginny moaning that she had Potion's first thing. Harry glanced down at his own parchment and found that he had Charms first, it wasn't the worst thing in the world and he tucked into some breakfast with his eyes scanning over the rest of his timetable. It was odd not seeing Potion's listed down and he had a few blank spots that were headed, _study_ , but he knew that these would be taken up if he chose and was accepted to do the Apprenticeship. Having thought about it non-stop for the last couple of weeks, he still wasn't completely sold on the idea, it was mainly the fact that he was required to teach. He didn't find the first years threatening, but he wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea. _Perhaps he would let me just do some research?_ He doubted that it would work out that way, the man had been pretty insistant.

"Earth to, Harry?" Hermione nudged him and he locked eyes with her with a questioning raise of an eyebrow.

"My apologies, you were saying?"

"We're leaving, coming?" She asked, standing.

Nodding he stood with the others and made their way out of the hall but not without taking a glance over his shoulder to see Severus walking up the length of the hall towards them, not once making eye contact with him but it was clear he knew there were eyes on him. It made the Gryffindor sigh in deafeat, he was reckless and foolish for being so hot headed this morning, he felt guilty and desperately wanted to make it up to him. There was an alarming thought that suddenly ran through his head at that point and he found himself thinking, _what if he doesn't want to follow through with the arrangement?_ Sighing again he followed his friends from behind towards their first class and as he did, he wanted to run back to the Great Hall and see his lover.


End file.
